Hallucination || Self Para
Sadie thought a lot about the brief affair between her and the younger Winchester, and sometimes it even made it into her dreams. So, it wasn’t a huge surprise when she found herself back in the living room, her arms around Sam’s neck. As they stepped lightly, but with an awkward undertone, she couldn’t help but smile into his chest. She’d tried hard to push away her feelings for Sam, to obliterate them the way he’d seemed to… but it only took one little look from him, a facial expression or tone in his voice- all from memory, of course- and she was right back where she’d tried to push herself away from. She wasn’t sure if it could even be called love, because she felt that love really needed to be reciprocated, but she knew that she deeply cared for him, despite everything that had happened. It was here, in her dreams, that she could forget everything that had happened after this night- all the bad things, all the tears- and simply hold on to what was good. Or, at least, she thought that was what she was doing. But when she felt his strong arms shove her away from him, she lost her grip on the good and all the hurt flowed back as she crashed to the floor.
“God, you’re such an idiot.” Sam said, laughing coldly as he looked down at her. As he circled, he kept speaking, each of his words breaking her heart over and over again. “You’re an idiot to think you were strong. To think that I cared, that I could possibly have feelings for a girl like you.” There were tears glistening on her cheeks as she looked up at him, suddenly too weak to try and move or fight back. “Sam, don’t. Please.” She whimpered weakly, knowing what was coming. “Please don’t do this.”
“Why not?” He asked, shrugging his shoulders in mock confusion. “I’m doing it, and you can’t stop me. You’re too weak for that. You’re a stupid, weak, little girl who fell too hard. I’m leaving, and I’m not looking back. You’re not worth it.” He spat, and she flinched away. Unable to do anything else, she just shook her head. “Sam… you promised. You promised you wouldn’t leave me. You kept saying it, too. I- I need you, okay? …I need you. You promised.” He listened to her words, and laughed again. “Well, I guess that sucks for you, doesn’t it?” It destroyed Sadie to hear those words come out of his mouth. He had been the one she thought would be there for her. After the torture, Caroline had Stefan to help her get over it. She thought she had Sam, and maybe if she had she wouldn’t be like this- or, at least, she’d be able to hold on a little bit better. But he left her, just like everyone else had.
As she came to this realization, he flickered and disappeared. She blinked hard, staring at the spot he’d just been standing in, before realizing that it had only been a hallucination. “It wasn’t real.” She whispered to herself, trying not to cry again, but she knew that in reality, it was real. It hadn’t ever been spoken out loud, but it was real.
He had left her, like everyone else.