#samgirlisms

[sammygender]

do you guys ever think about how john literally groomed sam and dean to be the perfect lucifer vessel and michael sword without ever realising he was doing it. it would make him want to fucking die and yet he does it so perfectly. instils it into sam that he has no autonomy, no control over his life, unconsciously lets him know there is something Wrong about him. instils it into dean that his personhood is in hunting, that that’s how he’s useful and how he can be loved. and none of that’s intentional except maybe sam’s disempowerment. but it still happens.

dean was john’s sword long before he knew he’d be michael’s sword. and sam was john’s, full stop, long before he knew he’d be lucifer’s.

[sammygender]

something sooooo interesting about sam saying ‘i have powers’ present tense in american nightmare. even tho he proceeds to use past tense when talking about what he could do… he still identifies as having them. taking that as confirmation they’re still within him and he’s just too deeply traumatised by s4/5 to use them again <3 if this show was good though sam‘s psychic powers would’ve made a comeback

[sammygender]

i actually. oh my god. it’s been so long that i’ve forgotten about the absolute insanity of s4. i’ve become acclimated to sam mistreatment by the show but i genuinely think s4 is SO fucking insane because like. it’s back when supernaturals good! and yet! sams narrative arc is INSANE! in a fascinating and yet genuinely awful and horrifying way!!! and like. is that intentional?? spn is a horror show surely it’s intentional but did they actually realise what they were doing can i realllly trust that? is it smart and meta because when you put thought into it it’s really fucking clever but did they actually or did they genuinely unconsciously think dean is the actual moral compass of the show and that disobeying him is blasphemy?? or is that an intentional writing choice a la family is hell a la god is a nuclear familial patriarch?? i like to think the latter but

like. supernatural is an experiment. an experiment in how many times you have to state something about a character, even if it’s directly Not What Happens and actually genuinely false, before a fandom will accept it as 100% true. an experiment in, well, if you never directly call out that your protagonist is an unreliable speaker and narrator, will your fans ever realise?

and the answer for the first is Pretty much you can just say it once - i think as soon as most people heard ‘dad said i have to save you or kill you’, they internalised it as Sam WILL go evil and Dean will have to save him or kill him and what’s more, Dean has the right to make these choices, because everything about Sam is obviously inherently Dean’s. nevermind that sam has always tried so hard to be good and his most ‘morally grey’ era in the show is during active manipulation and is still just because he is trying SO hard to do the right thing. and the answer for the second is They will never realise, because most fans still think that dean saying sam chose a demon over him means it’s what happened.

and i don’t even know if the writers knew what they were doing during any of that. i have to believe some did. hopefully most. but i don’t even know anymore late season sam writing has made me so much less optimistic. maybe they just believed dean was fucking correct

[sammygender]

i just rewatched the s4 finale i literally cannot do this. it had to be you sammy it always had to be you…..

[sammygender]

sam’s life is like a possession john hands over to dean right before he dies with the words ‘save him or kill him’. sure dean has always protected sam, always cared for sam, but in that moment dean inherits sam. all decisions about sam become dean’s, just like before all decisions about sam were supposed to be john’s <3 has he ever had a scrap of autonomy in his life. has anyone ever thought he deserved it

[sammygender]

that post about dean having to convince sam he can read…. sigh…… wasnt going to say anything on the post itself because people have the right to their own (wrong) takes <3 also it’s silly and i don’t even really disagree i’m just petty and it would be funny if i made it. but. coming from someone who calls out samgirls… rubs me SO the wrong way. not like dean doesn’t constantly mock sam for everything under the sun either….. sam does not actually think deans dumb this is just a long running thing between them dean calls sam a nerd constantly… college boy?? hello….

[sammygender]

convinced the reason so many hellers dislike sam is because they can’t handle what he reveals about the show especially late seasonish, which is that it’s a fucking tragedy and horror story, not just your adventure show romcom. not that dean doesn’t completely reveal that too! but if you’re watching with your eyes shut and you completely ignore sam’s character, you can just about make dean just out to be some silly guy with an angel boyfriend. i mean i can’t understand how you can but people evidently do. sam doesn’t have that. sam is deeply intensely traumatised. and people don’t want to think about that! because a certain amount of it is dean’s fault? because they get uncomfortable during some of sam’s arcs cause its icky and hard to deal with and don’t want to dwell on why? idk!! but they sure don’t. so they just. don’t <3

[sammygender]

sam and the word possession….. he is a possession, the vessel, the prized baby brother, something for someone else to own and use and control, he is possessed, repeatedly, losing his agency and his autonomy. everyone wants to possess him in both meanings of the word