Flowers in a Box
Author: samlicker113 Summary: A bunch of Sherlock OOC randomness with dinosaur fetishes, motorcycle helicopters and characters being resurrected. Notes: I would like to thank manwithoutabody on Youtube for creating the video reading of this (which is where the text came from) and my best friend, psychovesuvius, for helping me type up chapters 13-14 Since I couldn’t find a text-only version elsewhere on the Internet, I decided to host it here.
It’s been two months; I’ve kept you guys waiting long enough.
Chapter 1- The Beginning: autors note: okay just so you know i don't like this show. wel sorta, but not really. but my older sister really like it tho so i'm writing it for her as a present for her birthday. :) i hope that she likes it! dedcated to my sister, haley :) -okay beginning now- sherlock walks into the flat 221 street. he is wearing a scarf and has squinty eyes. then he sees john sitting on the chair in the flat. the flat is pretty and has many books in it. "hollo john" he says "hello sherlock" john says but bitchily. "what are you on your period or something?" said sherlock also bitchily (but john can sound way more bitchy because morgan freman plays him) "you should know i'm not a girl after you spent all night sucking my dick ;)" said john (john has the hots for sherlock even if he has squinty eyes) (i bet john has a squinty eyes fetish) "what?" said sherlock because he was deducing and not paying attention. "oh nothing i guess that was a dream" said john sadly
"oh cool" said sherlock (hes kind a dumbazz lol) "anyways i came back from the store because lestrande says we have a new case" "oh really?" john said. He got up and walked over to Sherolck "Wow that's cool :)" "We should go" said sherlock. "lestrande will be wondering where we're going" -some time later- the crime scene was very bloody. It was at a muesum. everyone was there. even Anderson (everyones a bitch on this show and so is anderson). Anderson walked over to Sherlock and there was some black chick by him (she kinds looks like the girl from being human, lol i love that show you sould watch it.) "Hi freaklock" Anderson said. (hes a jerk but he gets alot of dick he's like a pimp lol) "why don't you go fuck a dinosaur anderson" said Shelrock. 'jerk and also your cheatiing on your Wife." "WHAT" said anderson (even though he's pimp he's still lame :)) and then he ran off (but he didn't fuck a dinosaur like frealock said) (i know i'm not that good but the story isn't that bad :D please review) Then Lestrane came by and that made stuff more interesting (i like him hes cool). "Hi sherlock" he said. "how is the case going" "Good." said Sherlock. "I think I know the killer" "wow sherlock you're so hot" Said John. "what?" said Sherlock. "I mean smart" said john. "i know right?" sherlock says "can you just tell me who the killer is?" sherlock looked down at the body and narrowed his already squnty eyes. then some white words (it happens in the show guys don't flame me) appeared in front of him. "the killer is anderson;" said Sherlock. "because he is a douche." "OK arrest him guys." said Lestrende. "Thanks sherlock for your help". "no problem," said Sherlock. "cool" then they took away anderson, but someone was watching from the shadows. Someone who would want revenge. -authors note: please r and r! i'll write more i have a great twist coming up :)- Chapter 2- The Skull autors note: FCK H8TRS! but for that 1 person who liked my fic thnx you 3 !! keep reviewin guyz! :)
-2 days earler- anderson stempted through the doorway of the door. in side was a bunch of creepy sutff like spider web and a fish tank with deadly fish and a hammer head shark in it. and so was moriarty. (i hate moriarty i like to call him MoriFARTY. :)) Adnerson sat down at the tabel across from moriarty "hello" he said. "hello anderson why are u here." said moryty "well jim i was wonderi ng if uo could fix somthing for me." said Adnerson. (get it cause in the show they say 'jim can u fix it for me? :O) "wat?" said moriaty "well u see in the future this guy called sherlo-" said anderson "oh i know him hes tawsome" said moriatry "ikr anyways he arrests me in da future so i ned you to kill Him." said adnerson "how do u know the futre" morarty saided "well you see" said anderson -FLASHBCAK- anderson is in the 21 baker Street wen he touches sherlocks skull (not his REAL skull under his ksin lol his UNREAL 1 on the s helf)
then he (dun dun dun)... COULD SEE THE FURTE -flashnack over- "cool faslback" said morirty "i know right" "you no anderson you're really pimpin (well it's true read the first chapter of my sotry) so i think i will kill him for you" "thnx then" said anderson. "your welcome" said moriaty. -back at the flat in the presnt time- "i wonder what jim is doing now" sid sherlcok "yea me to," said john wisfuly "last time we saw him was at the pool. remember it blew up becasue u shot the bomb then the water began to explods. moriatry jumped away on his motorcycle-copter and his snipsers fired up their lazers into the smoke and climed up them. i pushed you in too the water beloe and (can you guys tell im trying to add more desription to make it god :)) saved us botg. then mcyroft came in and saved us. we never saw jim agan after that night.' "yea john ....i know i was there.: sherlock said. john did not like moriatyy much he liked to call him MoriFARTY haha (like me) because sherlokc obvously liked him better. sherlock was a smart man who neded someone to kepe him intrestd john was simply a borin army docter. he wold never me as good as jim..
he looked over at the skull which lay on the shelf. . . . . . . . and had an idea. (okay guys do u like it? i added some more long bits and i tried to make it good and put some goof scifi stuff in it :) :) :) :) please READ DAND REVIEW Chapter 3- The Kill athorus note: thnx for all the revews guyz! i really aprciate it :) btw i found soem bold font on my compter so now i;m going too bold some fstuff to mke it more dramatic ::) -presetn time- sherlokc and john were having dinner at a resuatrant. Angelo was theyre (it's funny because ANGELo and yea) and they were eatin g sphagetti becuase thats what italina people eat (or maybe angelo is spans hi can't remeber) and angelo brouhgt over soem candles and it was nice BUT THEN a guy with a gun crahsede through the widow and shot sherlock dead and he fell to the floro dead and john said "OH NO" and held him in his arms a single tear dripped donw his check add it was sad. "WHO" said john. "WILL SOLVE THE CASE OF SHERLOCKS MURDOR IF HES DEDA" it was a sad day. -back at the flat- john was stiging theye sad when all of a sudden the dore opend. in came a fmalr face- it was (dun dun dun) SHERLOCK
"WOW SAID JOHN" "your mback!" "i know" said sherlcok "wait wat do yu o mean" "you died" "no i didnt" said sherclok "WHAT" "yea i didnt why do u say i did." "because you did!" "hmmph" said sherlck "okay" said john and then he went aoutside then he saw mrs hudson (who is uhso housclener) and she said john i need "to talk to you" "oka" he said mrshduson said "look sherlcok died" "yea i know :(" sdia john "see what happned is when sherlock touched the skull he sthins he saw the futue but realy his future self was swraped with his past self so his ptas self died and his futre self lived"
"oh" said john. "okay" "lok moriaty is trying to kill sherlock's fture slef you have to help him" john thought about what would happen if sherlock wa s a striper "I DEDUCE THAT UOU AR SEXY" he said "what" said mrs hudson "nothing okat bye" said john going back futuresherlock was there and he said "hi john" "hi sherlcok" -1 day later- "okay hi" said anderson "you said you killed him but hes skill alive" "i know" said moriaty. "because he touched the skull too" "oh no" "yes. which means that your past self has been aresttd and is in jail right now" "good" said nadrson "no not good" "i mean tnot good" said anderson
"godo said" jim "anyways we need to kill the other shrlokc too okay" "okay" wait no "pahy me" "okay i'm a pimp so i have lot of mony" "colz" -1 day earlier- sherlokc touhec d the skull -1 day later, at the flat- joh n touched the skull (dun dun dun) (dun dun dun) autors note: thnxs for reviwing guzy! keep it up 3! :):) Chapter 4- The Mycroft. -presn t time- john told futuresherlock about the thing
"we hav e to go back in tim e and kill the man whos skull it is" said sherlokc. "if we can maek the skull not existed that w e can not die" "okay" said jonh "don't you have taht frendi with the blue poelice boxx?" "mo hes lookin for his frendis babeh" "oh yeah wat about dat angle who can travle in tiem said john "no hes GOD now (get it guyz haha)" said sherlokc "so wat are we goin to do" "idek" "god shrlock youre such a DUMBASS" "i know :(" said sherlock starting to cry "no sherlokc dotn cry"' said jogn and huged him "thnx john" said sherlokc "your so nice" john liked futuresherlokc. hes likes him wenh realsherlock only likes jim. this was nice. "thnx your nice too" -1 day later-
jonh was out buying silk when he saw anderson walking on the street wait i thought we has arreststed: ( " oh no" said john"i have to tlel sherlokc" -back at the flat0- "ok sherlokc i saw anderosn" "yea so" "but u arrested him becuase he was a douche" "well he is but i nevr did that" "but yu did i was tere" "oh maybi that was my past self" "oh yeah maybeh and then they had sex -1 day later- sherlokc was shot desad by moriaty "you bastrad" said john and he was goin to kill morifarty (haha!) when lal of a sudden sherlokc wakled through the dore. "omg sherlokc you died"
"no tha t was my future slef" said hserlock "oh yay" said john and huge d him "john wyh are yu huggin me" said hserlock "oh hyea" john said sadly :(:( he remembered that it was futuresherlock that liked him not past sherlokc so yeah sad "anyways adnerson has espcaed frmo jaiil we have to find him" "dam that pimp he esscap[ed" "yeah i know let's go!"said sherlokc and him and john ran off into the horizon -day later- all of a sudden john died it was very sad sherlokc went to his furneal. violains played in th bacgrkound and john was ina casket all of a sudden (DUN dun DUN) john wakled in the dore "hi sherlokc he said" "oh no you died" said sherlock "i deduce that u are laive"
"see htat was my past self thast died i am fine" "oh john" "oh sherlokc" "ou are alive" "i know itsnt it wdnferul" "yes it is" -meanwhile- "i didtn tell you too kill john to i told you to kill slerhock" said anderson "i no i didn't kill him: said moriaty "i only killed sherlokc" "but hes dead" "no he alive check" adnerson checked "ok ahe is alive are u hapy now" "im alwyas happy" said moriaty "i have a moto cycle copotr who wouldnt be happy" "i see" said adnerson "naways i need to kill Mycroft"
"why" "because he knows too much and he is the voernment and he is getting supsioucs oka" "ok ill pay you" adnerson gave morty the mony and then he said "good luck" "okay" -1 day later- mycroft was found dead and was baed into a cake thsat he couldnt eat becuase he was ded the end and since he ner ver touhed the skull he couldn't come back he gave shelokc hi sumbrela and the skull wahtced the hole tiem. watching watinc wahching autors note: thnx for the reviews guyz keep it upsss! im wirting more tonite 33 i tried to maek the plot more intrestng so i hope it works tell me! 3 Chapter 5- Donovaons in This One Guyz
autors note: omfg thnx for rewieving guyz you are TEH BEST :) :)
-1 day later- john was sittin g in the flat wathcing the news and eating jam and milk (srsly its lal poeple eat on this show) (they need more porteen in there diet) al lof a suden on the tnews it said (dun dun dun TWIST COMINg up GUY) moiraty was deda! (lol i mean dead) "on ho" said jonh he could nt blevie it it said moiraty had ben killed by 1 of mycrofts bodyguards and his mortorcoptor had been towed by teh police and they were having an autcion but that wasn't TEH IMPOTRANT PART BEAUCUSE MOIRATY WAS DEA D "fff" said john "this suck" "ikr" said sherlokc he was lookin at the skull. (oh no) -2 days later- anderson was dead and it was sad (but not really beucase he was a douche no mater hwo much dick he got) and it was sad and sherlokc was there and so was john at the funeral. "we will all miss anderson eve nif he was a jerk" said lestraaaande "he was a good dog both in snifing and when we would have BDMS sex and he wolud sniff my pantees- i mean when he did drugs busts" "NOOOO" said Donovan (the balck chick i looked up her name so i could be liek the actalu show :D :D) "NOOO"
"i know were all sad but we have to find out who did it" sadi lestrande "alot of murder s have hpanneid and hserlock wood yu like the case" "yeah i would." said sherlock "yeah i would." "cool who do you think it is" "i think its mortarty" because he is a douche sherlock said "but moirarty DIED" "i know but some peopel come back becuse they touch my skull" "I HAVE AL SO TUOCHED HIS SKULL" said john loudly so every one would beleive him. "and by skull i mean dick" he said quitlyer "we hace to tke him to a menntal hospital" said Donavon "TO TEH METNAL HOPSTIAL" autors note: thnx guyz i hope it is getting better tell me if the bold font i s working and if its more like teh show now becuase it has donavon in it :) :) Chapter 6- The Coptor Boss autors note: thnx so much for eveytrhing guyz :3 30 plus revwies :) :) -1 day later-
sherlokc was chillin in the mental hopsital wem all of a sudden john came... ....crashing trhoo the wall that is and he was in a MOTORCYLCE COPTOR like a boss (lol I love that song ea t a bagle like a bosssss) (john sould eat more bag els insted of just eatin jamNmilk) "oh" said shlerock "awwww yeah" said john "hop on" "fuck da ploice" said john (wat are poliece called in egnland or whereever this is lol :)) anways and they ro d e offf into the nihgt "how did u get this" said sherlock coolly "well i went to the selly bid thign and got it from moriaty or the poliece (lol i have to re red my own fan fictoni! i am such a sapz)" said john. "but how di d you get ht e mony?" "not from adnerson even thought hes a pimp i sold the skull" "why would yu sell the skull" sherlokc said "WHYY" "to pya for the heli" "we have tget back my skull"! said sherlokc and they where aoubt to dramaticllay go when then they saw.... (DUN DUN DUN) ANDERSON! Chapter 7- The Anderson
-on the street were th ey saw adnerson- "anderson wat r yu doing" said sherlokc "well freaklock i was just goin g to fukc a dinousar" said adnerson. "omgrellay" said hslerock "no not relay uyou bumass" (brisths poeple ar so wierd lol thye say stuf like bumass)" said anderson "oh :(" said sherlokc "any way s wat ar yu doing" "what do u mean"?" said anderson "i mean why ar u in the stret i arestted you" said sherlock "oh i got released" said adnerson "but yu died" "no i didn't why did u think i dided" said adnerson "becuase you did it was on fxo news it HAS TO BE TRYUE" "oh i didnt bye" saidh adnerson and he wacked off "well said john" said john "waht do we do no"
"we find my skull" sinad sherlok (guyz keep reding i got s a ttwist coming up :) :) :)) hint it had to od with skulls) Chapter 8- The Scene -2 mins befor- lestrande was walking on the srete when he was mudered by an UNEEN KILLER taht he couldnot seee so dide the end (im sad that i had to killl him but itwas to maek the plot more intresting) -3 mins aftre- john and sheelock went to the paw shop (or lol whetaver its called lol :)) and tehn they got bakc the skull and they went back to thier flat on the motor cyclecopotr and they were in th e flat. it twas pretty and had many boks in it. it also had some other sutff. anyway hten kohn sat donw and then serhock said "oh look lestrande is ded :( :( :(" said sherlokc "WHAT" said jonh "oh no" so they went to the crime scene and tehy saw adneerson there and he was sad and doncan and evyerone else too (lol i can not remmebber who the other poliiiece r) "HOLLO SHERLOCK" said adnerson loudly "DO YU NO THE KILLER" "no" sid sherlokc but then he saw a little note wirtenn in BLUDD BLOD BLOOD (lol how du yu spell it) and it was in hanwriting that looks fmailar to him "JOHN" he sadi "look stuff"
john looked at it Chapter 9- The Molly -2 hors later- (hahaha i just thot of a great pun andesron is A PIMP so he fucks dinoHORES lol i bet he lieks my litell pony or that 1 show wiht the dinos in it or maybeh glee i think thye mentined dinos in one episoda lol i haet gly that is wyh anderoson must luv it beausce fuckig adneerson son sherlokc is just jelly or jam lol of hsi pimpa-tude) anyways sherlokc was in the flat wit john the motorcoptor was parkered otside and anyway they were in the flat. "beware i am comming for (LOL TATS WATH SHE SAID) yu" says sherlock as He readed alod the note in blodd "hmm i wondr but yu are smarty shercock :) ;) i am sur you will find the aswner (sherlokc shold be in huflepuffle)" said john "shercock" said sherlock (oooooh thsi is getting god) "whoops i meant sherlock anyways lets go to the molly lab i bet sh ecan maek us soem coffy (and mayby jam and milkle lol) and tell us bout the noet" (i bet jonh wood want sherlokc to be a slitherin becus slithins are hot lol tom fetton for lief) :) "okay too the mollylab" said sherlokc and they went on their coptor to the Molly Lab. -at mollys lab-
jim from it was not theyre (LOL BECAUUSE HE S DEDA) but MOLLY WASN T ETHER BECUS SHE WAS DEAD TWO) "noo molly" said sherlokc "she was not hot but He mad good coffy" (poor sherlokc or shud I sau shercock ;) ;)) (darmatic wink-y face lol) but then they turns the cornor to find none otter then.....(Tis is the gib TWISTS)..... LESTRENDE. Chapter 10- The Lestranda -at the molly lamb- "hollo lestrande" said herlock (he cud not saty dead for long becuuase hes the only not bitchy charatar) "hello sherlok" said lestrande "OH WAIT YOU ERE DEDA why ar yu not dead" said sherlock "well yu see i was in hell when alofasudden i saw moritarty flowing down on boutifull wite wignis wings that we attached to his motocucle-copter and he rayed me frmo perdyiton (lol destiel 4lief!) (and wat ever lestrande/moriparty is) "wow really *_*" said sherlock...................... "no of course not dubmass" sadi lestraende "god yu can be so dubm sometimes" ":(" said sherlock "but you were dead, for realz"
"r yu just trollig me" sadi john "AND NO 1 CALL SMY BOYFRIEND A DUMBASS exept for me". and then he punched lestrande "bboyfreind?' said lestrande "OOOOOH" "no i mean friend taht is a boy" sid john "oh ok anyways wyh did yu saw i wsa dead" ssaid lestrenda "beucae you "you where i think" "no i werent youd shoyld be in a metnal opsital" "yuo alreddy put me in one tho" said shecolk "oH SHnap BUnnn (i mean burn lol)" siad jonh "yu guyz are nuts i nevre did that buye" said lestrende "WAHT IS HAPENNIG SAID" sherlokc "i dont no lets get otu of here" siad john autors note: keep reviwing uys i got a twist comig UP! Chapter 11- The Mycroft TWO -1 day later- sherlock and john were wakling on the stret whehn they saw..... MYCROFT (gasp) "my croft i thot you were dead" said sherlock "no i'm not." said mycroft. "but yu where baekd into a caek-" sherlokc sid "i would liek to be beaked into cake so i cood eat it but anyways im not dead" said mycroft "you ust be the furtue mycortft" said sherlokc "beucase past mycroft is on a deit" "your nuts" said mycroft. "NO IM nOT I DEDECEDED IT SO IT MUST BE TRYUE" said sherlock lodly "i love you sherlock." said john "SEE JONH AGREES WIHT ME I DiD DEDUEC IT." said sherlock mycroft wakled away twilling his umbrella (whos name is lesty and he lieks to cudle it at nihgt and pertend it is lestrande) sherlokc and john sat down/
"this sucks" said sherlock. "i guss mhy skull relly gets around." "i know, right?" said john "this is worse than wen i walkd in on my parents..." "john i dodnt care" said sherlock "...makin oreos." said john "oh." said sherlokc (lol) "wait dont you haev a bro namd OREO?" ;) ;) "(gasp) how did you no :O" said jonh "beucase i knwo evyerhting, john." "*_*" said john "beacause i know... everything." but their was 1 thing sherlokc didnt know (other thna that john had the hots for mhi lol ;) ;)) but it was still hding in the shadows...waitin...for...the...rite..MOMENT (did i scare you? ;)) Chapter 12- The Short One -1 day latr- sherlcok and john were still sititig their liek hoboz (becuase they totali ar lol :) :)) "sherlock we need to go hoem" said john "why said" sherlokc "becuse i forgot my towel" said jonh "so" said sherlokc "buuuuut iiiiiii neeeeeeeed ttttttttti" siad sherlock i mean john (lol) "fien let sgo" said john -at the flat- sherlcok and johm wakled intoo find... SHERLOCK AN DJOHN autors note: im sorry this oen is hsort but i m ritting a supre long (baby) long 1 fer yu guyz latr so yea i hopy you like it :0 :) Chapter 13- The Confession -at the flat-
“wat i donot udnerstand” said sherlokc “I CAN T DUEDUCE WAHT IS HAPPNING”
John sighed and ran a hand through his sandy hair. “I can’t even understand what they’re saying, Sherlock. This has gone on far too long.”
Sherlock nodded and tightened his scarf a bit. It was silent in the flat for awhile as both parties stared each other down- sherlcok’s twisted, squinty brown ones into Sherlock’s own bright blue ones.
“sherlokc what is hapying” siad john
“i dont no” said sherlke “i love you john”
“i love you to” said john
“Wow, they really are nothing like us.” said Sherlock. “It’s fascinating.”
“Yeah, nothing like us… said John with a hint of sadness in his voice. Then he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a gun. “Right, down to business.”
“wat r u futre selfs” said sherlokc
“No, no we aren’t.” John sighed.
“btu we tuched the skull” said john
“Oh, you guys think that touching the skull makes you travel in time? Of course it doesn’t! Why would it do that?”
“wel we thot” said sherlock
“No. What it does do is make clones.”
“cloens?” said john
“Yeah… sure. Anyways, every time someone touches the skull, it creates a new clone. Each clone is further separated from the original. You two are the last ones of the batch.”
“I initially discovered you doppelgangers after hearing that I ‘arrested Anderson because he is a douche’. While Anderson does have a jerkish nature, I have never arrested him. And after running into the real one, never having been arrested, I assume that we had clones running around. What I never suspected is that there were also clones to Mycroft, Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson, and even Molly.” said Sherlock.
“We had to get rid of them, eventually. So we hired assassins to kill them off. But more kept coming, and we were having a hard time keeping track. That’s when Sammy came in.” Said John.
With those words, out stepped… something… from the shadows. It walked on all fours and carved long scratched in the floor with each swipe of it’s long, slender hands. From it’s vaguely human arms, bones screamed out from thinly-veiled skin. It’s skin… oh god, it’s skin… pale and impossibly smooth. It stretched over each fragile bone and organ like latex over a balloon. A long, thin tongue swathed forward from it’s mouth and dripped across the floor with a hiss. And from the beneath it’s long hair, two pupiles red eyes glared out.
“Meet Sammy,” said Sherlock. “She followed you around everywhere and then recorded your every action in an online diary. By reading it, we could figure out where you were at all times.
John patted her gently on the head and Sammy hissed in return. She whispered in a crooked alien voice, that chilled like ice “(holo boiz)...”
John then walked over to the shelf and gripped the skull tight wiuth one definite hand. He glanced over at Sherlock, who nodded in agreement.
“NOOOOOOO” said sherlokc
“NOOOOOOOOOOO” said john
And then John smashed the skull on the ground.
Chapter 14- The Flowers in a Box
John awoke to the sound of paper fluttering. His head was still spinning from the remnants of the nightmare that plagued him that night. He had been slumped in the armchair.
John rubbed his neck. From somewhere behind him Sherlock murmured, “You fell asleep.”
John looked behind him to find Sherlock sitting at the desk. “I had the weirdest dream…” John said. “Your skull… it could do this stuff…” He found himself grasping to remember.
“A package came for you in the mail,” Sherlock said without looking up from the case file. John noted the two nicotine patched on his arm before getting up. Guess the Cherofsky murders aren’t a three patch problem yet… h thought.
The box was snakk in the floor. John knelt down and thrust open the tape. He unfolded the brown cardboard to reveal… flowers?
A box of flowers? Hmm, that’s a new one?
The army doctor then swept the flowers aside to find a manuscript hidden beneath. It was dirty and rugged up,with a lazy sketch of a skull on the front and just a hint of a tongue print beneath.
John’s eyes drifted to the skull on the shelf as he flipped the first page.
And as he read on and on for the next hour, the skull stayed there watching.
watching
whating
wahtcing
