All The Rumours Are True - Sam Abrams x Reader
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Brief references to Better and Will's struggles in Smoke Break
Sam doesn’t realise there’s a rumour about him until he sees two interns in the elevator tittering and nudging each other. He’s used to commanding a certain level of respect and he’s worked hard to cultivate his reputation. He doesn’t suffer fools gladly and he has very little time for gossip and nonsense. He doesn’t say anything, he simply lowers the chart he’s reading and tilts his head towards them. The giggling stops immediately.
Good, he thinks. Now he can concentrate.
“Doctor Abrams.”
He sighs and lowers the chart a second time and fixes the interns with a steely glare. The first one shrinks back, the second one straightens their shoulders before continuing to speak.
“Is it true?”
“Is what true?” He asks mildly irritated by the interaction.
“About your wife.”
Sam’s eyebrows furrow into a frown and his heart starts to beat a little faster in his chest. He’s a logical man, but when it comes to you his brain jumps to all sorts of irrational conclusions. Are you sick? Are you hurt? Have you been brought into the E.D?
“What about my wife?” He snaps, clutching the clipboard to his chest. The intern changes their mind about the interaction and instead takes a step away from him falling silent. Sam rolls his eyes at the response before sighing and adjusting his tone. “What is going on with my wife?”
“Oh!” The intern says, their cheeks colouring as they fluster. “No, she’s fine. I think she’s fine. She’s not here, at least I don’t think she is… I wanted to ask you about her book.”
Sam leans back against the wall of the elevator and exhales loudly.
For a second there…
His brain snags on the interns’ words before he turns his attention back to them.
“Yes, my wife wrote a book.” He informs them. “It’s on the Times Bestseller’s List at the moment.”
“I’ve read it!” One of the interns abruptly tells him, before gesturing between them and the other intern. “We both have.”
“Ok.” Sam shrugs his shoulders. “Good for you.”
The doors to the elevator open on his floor and Sam is relieved to leave the weird exchange with the interns behind him.
***
It’s Halstead that brings the rumour to his attention. Ever since Jimmy Lanik made a comment that Will reminds him of Beaker from the Muppets, Sam can’t unsee it. Sometimes when he’s prattling on, Sam tunes him out and imagines Beaker’s voice just to get through the conversation.
“I didn’t know your wife was an author.” He says conversationally his elbow comes to rest on workspace that Sam is scribbling down his notes on.
“She didn’t take my last name.” Sam mutters as his pen scratches across the paper. “She’s very much her own woman.”
“Very modern.” Will remarks, nodding sagely.
As far as Sam is concerned that’s the end of the conversation. His personal life is exactly that. Only now Halstead is hovering like he wants to say something else, and Sam hates this sort of dilly dallying.
“Spit it out.” He says, setting his pen down on the clipboard.
“Her book really helped me.” Will says finally, his mouth set in a thin line as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I was in a really bad place a couple of months ago and Doctor Charles recommended it. It really changed my perspective on mental health and how I view myself.”
“Oh.” Sam says, nodding his head in understanding. “Good.”
He plays with the silver Parker Pen, you had bought him for his birthday between his fingertips. He’s always wanted one, but he’s just never seen the point. He doesn’t write correspondence; everything is digital these days. His desire for it wasn’t logical, he just knew he liked it. When he’d opened the box with the rainbow-coloured bow on he had been completely delighted.
Sometimes there doesn’t have to be a point, you had told him as his thumb had trailed over the customised engraving. It’s just something you feel in your heart.
“My wife is very good at what she does.” He says to Will, his gaze lingering on the pen in his hands. “For her counselling is a calling. During and then after the pandemic, the mental health services were overwhelmed with people in crisis. It started as a blog initially and then it gained traction from there. She started writing her book in the evenings as a way of reaching people who didn’t have access to the help they needed. She wanted them to understand that they weren’t alone in their struggles, to help them find a way through the darkness. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.”
Sam sighs before clipping his pen back into the top pocket of his lab coat.
“I’m glad it helped you, that’s it’s doing the work she set out to do.”
“I went to her book talk; Jimmy’s wife was going, and she invited me along. She thought it would be good for me.” Will says abruptly as Sam is about to walk away. “There were a few others from Med there, I think that’s why…”
Will trails off and Sam finishes the sentence because suddenly it all makes sense.
“… everybody is talking about me and my wife.”
“There’s no author picture in the back of her book and her social media is private. Nobody realised that the woman we’ve seen you having lunch with is the same one that wrote the book until then.” Will tells him.
“And you’re all wondering what she’s doing with a man like me.” Sam summarises, before rapping his fingertips upon the surface of the workspace.
Will shakes his head.
“Actually no.” He informs the neurosurgeon. “Part of the talk was her discussing her own mental health issues, how the pandemic and the pressure of it, took its toll on her. She told us about how her husband had supported her through it, how he was this beacon of light in a very dark time of her life.”
“Oh.” Sam says.
He doesn’t like to think about that, about how much you were suffering. He remembers the night you broke down, sobbing into his chest because you’d spent weeks struggling and it had all become too much. The burden of other people’s hurt had become too hard to bear and you were coming part at the seams. The next day he had marched into Goodwin’s office and told her to clear his schedule. There were more important things going on at home and he needed to be there. She had been understanding, cut back his hours until the storm had passed, allowed him a phased return so he could be there when you attended your own appointments. He would take you out afterwards, the bookstore, the ice cream shop, skating once – which he was horrible at. Things to make you feel better because therapy could be brutal and all the wanted was to see you see you smile again.
“She’s the love of my life.” He explains to Will. “I hated seeing her in so much pain. It gave me a little insight into why she wrote the book. She had access to the help she needed, but what about those that don’t?”
Sam crosses his arms over his chest.
“Before that they were just statistics but afterwards…” He shakes his head as he recalls that moment of realisation. “It reminded me that there are people behind those numbers, individuals who don’t have the tools to cope.”
He pauses before he meets Will’s eyes. It’s rare that he is this open with anyone outside of you, but Halstead’s bore his soul by mentioning his issues. It seems only fair that Sam returns the gesture.
“My wife is a very special person.” He tells the other man. “It’ll mean the world to her to know that her book helped you through a tough time.”
“The work she’s doing…” Will says as he tucks his hands into his pockets. “It saves lives.”
Sam thinks about his own emotional state before he met you. The nights he’d come home and put on Tchaikovsky before pouring himself a Scotch, the hours he would spend pouring over medical journals, reading articles, watching highlights from seminars and conferences he’d missed. There had been no work life balance for him, there was just work and there was always plenty of it to be done. Then he had met you. His world had gone from shades of grey to erupting with colour.
Dates filled with laugher, good food, tender kisses. Late mornings spent making love, while the two of you listened to the rain patter against the windows. He’d started reading fiction again, getting hooked on Dan Brown before exploring other literary works. He’d joined a book club hosted by one of the firefighters from 51 to expand his horizons, made some friends along the way. He’s happier than he’s ever been and that’s all thanks to you.
“I know.” He tells Will frankly. “She saved mine too.”
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