#samwchster

[ofembers]

@samwchster​ asked:  “Press that against the wound, I’m going to get the med kit.” from last meme weekend

         she took the shirt and pressed it against her stomach while she tried to ignore the slick feeling of blood against her fingers. terrified, she did her best to keep her composure. of course, she had gotten injuries as she learned to hunt, it was inevitable when going up against things that were already at least twice as strong as herself. but nothing like this -- and for sam to be there when it happened made her feel like crap. it probably brought back all of the memories of not being able to save her and she didn’t want him freaking out on her behalf.  ❝ i-it’s really bleeding. ❞

         despite her best efforts, her fear was evident in her words. the blonde could be tooting her own horn a bit, but she thought she had some natural talent for this. of course, she had went after things less dangerous than a lot of the creatures apparently wandering the streets here especially in the beginning. this fuck-up could be enough to convince sam that she wasn’t cut out for this and she didn’t really want him to tell her to go live a normal life. in her mind, she could never do that and she didn’t want to be anywhere else but here. she wanted him to know that she was stronger than the girl that didn’t have a fighting chance back in 2005.

[shecrumbled]

@samwchster​ asked:  ❝ would you change who you are , if you could ? ❞  for meme weekend!!

           That was a deep question from someone that she didn’t know that well. Leah had reflected a lot on her past, but mostly wishing that monsters didn’t exist at all or at the very least an argument with her dad hadn’t caused her first transformation. The guilt weighed heavily on her daily and she may tout that she wasn’t a monster, but she would always have an innocent life taken count of one on her shoulders. Shaking off the thoughts of her dad, her eyes returned from the glossed over distant look to something more focused, enough emotion lingering to be obvious. 

            “In an ideal world, maybe I would let people in more. Not push them away by hurting their feelings? Maybe I would have been a little less hopeful for the future as a teenager. -- Are you asking because you’re thinking about what you would change?” However, the rare moment of vulnerabilty couldn’t last forever and this was something she couldn’t smoothly break with anger so she would try her hand at humor. ”Or did I miss the mark and you meant being a completely different person? Cause in that case, who doesn’t want to be Beyonce?” 

[ofembers]

@samwchster​ asked:  my life’s always in danger.  for meme weekend

            ❝ i know. i spent years in heaven wondering how i got there and how i wasn’t getting kicked out because i was so angry that god sits by while people get killed by all of these monsters. that you weren’t allowed to have the life you want at the expense of my life only used to light up a rage for vengeance in you. ❞ it hurt to know that on top of all of the terrible things that happened that everyone knew about, all of this was lurking under the surface as well. she didn’t think that she should get better treatment than anyone else, but how could the god she had believed in let all of these terrible things happen to people like sam and people like her?

          how was it only the humans that had lost someone to monsters be the only ones trying to rid the world of them? it made her sick to know her mom was probably out there praying to a god that clearly didn’t care what happened to anyone. plus, the design of heaven was kind of disappointing, would she really have never seen sam or her parents or anybody when they made it there?  ❝ but now that i came here where all of these monsters are... anything that didn’t know that i was a live does now. that puts me in constant danger too. ❞

[ofembers]

@samwchster asked:  [TEXT] Did you make it home safely? for meme weekend

[text] I wouldn’t call it a home, but, yeah I’m in my room. [text] You should get some sleep, instead of staying up worrying about me

[ofembers]

@samwchster​ asked:  ❝ I stayed here and got older, while you went off and stayed the same. ❞ from last meme weekend

             ❝ yeah. i gotta say -- i almost didn’t recognize you in the diner. i like the hair, though, there was something charming about the bangs. ❞ the hair and the aging were only part of it. he was more broad and muscular from years of hunting, rather than the years hunkered down in the library with books back at stanford.  ❝ even after all that time of staring at robo sam’s face in heaven. wishing i didn’t know all the words he was going to say next. ❞ pursing her lips, she instantly regreted saying that. it was hard, being around him, easily forgetting that neither of them were the same person from back then anymore. 

         ❝ and i’m basically a blast from the past, with a couple years tacked on. ❞ she also wished that she had known he hadn’t been dead for that time, but with the nightmares and fears of being used against him she couldn’t exactly say that she would have sought him out. and she wouldn’t have even known where to begin in finding him, it wasn’t like she would have remembered his phone number if he had even kept the phone he used at stanford. all of this left her still tiptoeing around him, hoping that she would somehow figure out how they could make it through without either of them hurting. 

[famedhunter]

@samwchster​  how much more do you really want to know?  for meme weekend

              ❝ whatever you feel like spillin’. you know a lot more about all of this than most of us do. with my son here, i need to make sure i’m equipped to keep both of us safe. ❞ he hoped like hell that alicia would be kept away from it, though he knew that their side of things could use the help of both her and tasha. another part of him wondered if they had a chance in hell at fixing this mess if every living hunter descended upon the town. hopefully, dean and his own suspicions  had been wrong and they could recruit more angels that weren’t mortally wounded into fighting for the right side. 

             ❝ i found out about the fact that we’re in the middle of things from every aspect of the afterlife being spit up here. can’t get much worse than that, can it? ❞

[shecrumbled]

@samwchster​ asked:  when that person is taken from you, what do you become then? for meme weekend

          ❝ personally, i became bitter. and he didn’t even die. i’m probably not the best to come to for advice on coping mechanisms. ❞ she felt for others that were in situations somewhat similar to hers, hence she came so hard at bella. not to mention she could basically feel his pain firsthand as she heard his every thought whenever they were both phased. those that hunted? they lost their lovers, their friends, anyone they cared about all the time it seemed. impossible to keep others safe when someone became hellbent on revenge and adding some supernatural abilities into that mix only made it worse.

         ❝ losing the person you could see your whole future with? i don’t know if there is a good way to deal with that. if they’re dead, try to live on in ways that would make them proud. if they’re alive? try to thrive and hope at least part of them is regretful of what they tossed away. ❞

[shecrumbled]

@samwchster​ asked:  “You should see the other one.” from last meme weekend

     ❝ -- no i think i’m good. not much into gore, believe it or not. you need help, patching anything up? ❞ she probably wasn’t the best to come to for that, considering broken bones fully healed within a matter of an hour for her, setting wrong easily within fifteen minutes. sometimes she wondered how many lives she could save if she could somehow transfer that ability, despite knowing that wasn’t possible.

    always having a murderous monster to chase after was getting tiring faster than she imagined. maybe she would need to take a night off to try to connect with some hunters without letting them know what she was, which she had already slipped up and done a couple of times -- some with situations out of her control.  ❝ never really understood the appeal of movies like the saw series and some of the games i’ve seen the guys play back home. ❞