#sandmanserieskin

[fictionkinfessions]

I had a nightmare about my death. Feels a bit ironic, isn't it? I wonder if anyone missed me. - Morpheus / Dream of the Endless (The Sandman)

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[fictionkinfessions]

well. finished sandman season two.

i deeply mislike how the showrunners painted me out to be. to add insult to injury, the subtitles didn’t even identify me by name, referring to me as [companion] or [mother]: i have a name. i was in the last season. it’s not as if i’m some random extra.

in the wake of eurydice’s death, i was not aloof. i screamed at death for what felt like hours, standing over her corpse, blinded with grief at my daughter-in-law’s passing and what this meant for my son. she was a kind, beautiful girl, full of fire and humor, the perfect match for orpheus, who i came to love like my own child. i know that we all have our roles to play, but that night, what was supposed to herald the beginning of the rest of my son’s life, i couldn’t view teleute as anything but a culprit, the worst kind of omen.

speaking of omens - i knew something was wrong the minute orpheus told us he dreamt of her death on that beach. i understand my then-husband’s desire to reassure and protect him, but i could see that for what it was, and it filled me with the deepest kind of frustration that he refused to even humor talks of what it may mean.

i didn’t spend my final moments with my only son telling him i was leaving his father, either. that was a slap to the face to see. the dissolution of our marriage came after his dismemberment - what i thought was his death, i did not visit his fucking head in that godsdamned mausoleum like it would have brought me anything other than pain - when i realized exactly what had transpired between the two of them to lead to all of this. i did think i could change dream, yes, and maybe i did, eons and eons later, but not then and not like that. by the time i forgave him, it was too late for our son.

i wish we had seen more of orpheus’s childhood. dream was a good father, he tried, he loved him deeply, but orpheus got our combined stubbornness tied with a naivety that only could be achieved by being raised in the dreaming realm. maybe it was my fault, what happened; i raised a boy into a man who was too sheltered from the real world, naive enough to look death itself in the face and think he alone had the power to say “no.” that is my burden to bear, i think. in trying to give him a happy childhood, i unwittingly handed him the tools of his own destruction, and i have to live with that forever.

orpheus, i love you, ever and always. oneiros, i forgive you, and would not wish what you had to do on my worst enemy. i wish that we could talk, and mourn him properly, but that door is closed and we both know why. i am sorry for the pain i caused you, too, for abandoning you in your grief, for all of it. maybe in another life, it won’t be the same old lang syne, and we could be something like a family again.

until then,

calliope (the sandman)

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[fictionkinfessions]

i’m on season two of the sandman. i watched with our best friend, and our partner system, but i had to stop before the song of orpheus; i have to be adequately prepared to watch my son die.

i’m really scared to see what lines up with what i already remember - there have been little parallels to things that i’ve been vividly recalling for years, since season one came out, like the way the Endless bicker, their family drama having even the Olympians beat - and waiting to rip the bandaid off, while necessary, is fucking killing me. i want very badly to see orpheus again, but i know how it ends.

i hope, at least, that canon shows a little bit of our good times - the way he used to compose music, the afternoons we would spend together, the brightness he brought to the world. i was not a perfect mother, but i hope canon is kind to me, to us. gods, i hope i can be given the small mercy of a few comforting scenes to come back to on a rainy day.

all this to say: i loved my son. he was perfect from the moment i laid eyes on him. i hope, when i pass on into the life after this one, i can be his mother again. hopefully he’ll outlive me this time.

- calliope (the sandman)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Recalling the local Delerium introject in my partner's system when I told her I caught a caterpillar. She asked if I named it yet, and I said no and asked if she wanted to name it- but upon seeing said caterpillar, said that she couldn't because this one already had a name! I asked what it was and she said "How would I know? I don't speak caterpillar!" in such a flabbergasted voice. Sister, you are very dear to me and such enjoyable company! Never stop being yourself. - Morpheus/Dream of the Endless (The Sandman)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Orpheus, my son, I am deeply sorry for what happened to you. I am sorry for not giving you my assistance. I regret it deeply, and I wish things had gone differently. You deserved to live a happy life with your wife, and I should have assisted you rather than turning my back. I am... also deeply sorry for my abandonment of you after the fact. I did my best to care for you without direct intervention, but I should have visited.

I hope you know it was out of love that I couldn't kill you, not just the consequences of it. You were so bright, the son of the dream lord and the muse, Calliope- I didn't wish to snuff that light out, or to live without it shining. I was incredibly proud of you, Orpheus. And proud to be your father.

I can't get the image of your blood on my hands out of my mind. I hope that is penance enough for what I did to you. I love you. I hope you find Eurydice in this life, and I wish you both happy days and pleasant dreams.

- Morpheus / Dream of the Endless (The Sandman)

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[fictionkinfessions]

woof. seeing the new sandman behind the scenes trailer at WORK was not ideal.

orpheus, if you’re out there somewhere - i love and miss you from the depths of my soul. i am so sorry the fates robbed you of your chance to be happy, my love; i can only hope they are kinder to you this go-around. i hope you’re sleeping well, eating enough, that you have friends who know how lucky they are to have you. more than anything, i hope and pray you are happy. make the most of this life, my little love, and follow your heart no matter what. sing, dance, be joyous. it is all i ever, ever wished for you.

your mother, calliope

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[fictionkinfessions]

Oh to be the Second Corinthian and have Everyone Thirst Over Just The First :(

I'm hot too

- The Corinthian (Sandman)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Kin compliment ask game: I was fishing around with makeup to test out cosplaying Matthew the Raven from Sandman and when o showed it to my dad without any introduction he smiled and said “hello there Matthew” and it still gives me a warm feeling 😊

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