Sandra Lynn: Now, here to read my social security number is a field reporter named after the number of people I performed oral sex on in one night in 2012. Sklonda: …Hello, I’m fifty? …That can’t be right.
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Sandra Lynn: Now, here to read my social security number is a field reporter named after the number of people I performed oral sex on in one night in 2012. Sklonda: …Hello, I’m fifty? …That can’t be right.
post lawnmowing thoughts: sandra lynn was on yard duty the entire time she was married to gilear cuz they lived in a neighborhood with an HOA and gilear always managed to get hurt in the yard so it was best for her to do it.
when her and jawbone move to mordred she makes a remark about how much time will take to mow with so much land and jawbone’s like baby you dont have to mow. we dont really need a lawn. and sandra lynn brain goes a little haywire thinking of the possibilities cuz she’s never really thought beyond a lawn cuz it just seemed easiest
now on the weekends her and jawbone poke around the yard taking care of odd natives sandra lynn propagated from being out on patrol and their very funny garden boxes full of food bearing plants and home grown spell components. The old lawn has grown up into a prairie and when it gets too hot they sit on the mordred porch and listen to all the bugs singing in the tall grass
Adaine: Sandra Lynn, can I ask you a question? Sandra Lynn: Of course, Adaine. Adaine: A boy from school likes me, and has asked me on a date. I'm… not used to people being attracted to me and this is new territory. Adaine: So what are the best red flags I can display so I can get out of it with minimal confrontation? Sandra Lynn: …I should probably encourage you to handle this better, but it's so rare my area of expertise is called upon.
Sandra Lynn: Do you ever lay awake at night wondering if marriage was just a complete mistake? Gilear: N…no? Sandra Lynn: Me neither. Goodnight.
Sandra Lynn: I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior. Fig: I promise… Fig: …d other people, I would be on my worst behavior. And I gave my word, so…
Sandra Lynn: WHY DID YOU INVITE GARTHY?! Jawbone: Because they offered to bring a keg. Jawbone: And also because you fucked them in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good partner.
Sandra Lynn: Stop calling me a homewrecker. I’m not. Sandra Lynn: I’m simply breaking up a relationship for my own personal gain.
Fig: Be the reason that you’re haunted. Go someplace forbidden. Read something in an ancient language. Straight up fuck a demon. Sandra Lynn, speaking from experience: Please do none of those things.