#nsffh

[quotes-definitely-not-from-d20]

Fabian: Computer, stop showing me sex ads! Fabian: I know there are desperate sluts in my area! I have a mirror!

[quotes-definitely-not-from-d20]

Sandra Lynn: Now, here to read my social security number is a field reporter named after the number of people I performed oral sex on in one night in 2012. Sklonda: …Hello, I’m fifty? …That can’t be right.

[quotes-definitely-not-from-d20]

Kristen: So, uh, Fabian. I’ll be your wingman, how about that? Fabian: I don’t need you to be my wingman, you’d just fuck the lady instead.

[quotes-definitely-not-from-d20]

Adaine: Unless you get tired of me. Fabian: No, never. Riz: I cannot take another year of you two verbally edging each other. This has to be the year you fuck.

[quotes-definitely-not-from-d20]

Kristen: LGBTQ+ people, what do you think about them? Fabian: I don't have any negative feelings towards them at all. I've even been to a hotel with Ragh before. Kristen: And nothing happened? Fabian: No, we just had normal sex.

[quotes-definitely-not-from-d20]

Aelwyn: Oh wow, today’s weather looks just like you! Shitty. Fabian: The forecast did say things were going to get wet. I’m sure that’ll be a first for you. Aelwyn: Oh yes, several inches of rain I heard. Can you imagine that? More than one inch? Fabian: You know, I think I’m having trouble. Maybe if you moved a little bit that way, into oncoming traffic, the entire world and I would have the peace and quiet necessary to envision such a thing!

[quotes-definitely-not-from-d20]

Riz: Have you ever been handcuffed? Fabian: Hh- what? Riz: Like, handcuffs. Have you ever been handcuffed? Fabian: Sexually or by law enforcement? Riz: Riz: Riz: Fabian: It’s an honest question. Riz: What is wrong with you?

[quotes-definitely-not-from-d20]

Kristen: But if I don't get weird and horny about this, who will?