An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
"The hand that falls onto his thigh does so in slow motion. Sandaime smooths it up his knee to the inside of his leg, thumb pressed deep against his tense muscle. The touch is warm, but Sasori’s first instinct is to flinch and pull away. When he does, the sheriff squeezes. “I think you’re stunning, Sasori,” he starts, sighing almost thoughtfully as he stares at the road ahead of them. His hand is dangerously close to the inside of his hip. “Why don’t I make you a deal?” "
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Within the forests of the Emerald Triangle in Northern California, The Moss explores a tale of mental illness, family, and the cutthroat world of marijuana’s black market.
Illustrations for this chapter also available HERE!
***NOTE: Some of the illustrations included in this chapter include gore and some of the illustrations included in this chapter are NSFW and SEXUALLY EXPLICIT. As a heads up for anyone not into that/that might be reading this in more public setting. ***
TWS: ABUSE OF POWER AS A POLICEMAN, VIOLENT SEX, PROSTITUTION, EXPLICIT CHILD AND SPOUSAL ABUSE
Sooo, ya know how I dropped the ball on Gaara Week? Welp fuck it, it’s Gaara Week in February, hoping to end on Valentine’s Day! Because Gaara would appreciate a late birthday present, and he deserves to be someone’s Valentine. Story under the cut, enjoy!
Gaara sat atop of the Suna Wall and stared down at the village below, brow furrowed as the sun beat down on his back. He could feel the heat on his neck and knew he should move out of the rays soon but couldn’t bring himself to do so. Here he could focus on the heat on his neck, the easy beat of his heart, the feeling of heat and warmth on his skin. It was easy to clear his mind and focus his thoughts if he had a focal point for the storm in his mind.
It had been a few months since the Chunin Exams, and his progress toward changing to become someone the village and his siblings could count on was extreme to say the least.
He was on the way to being Kazekage.
He had a student.
His relationship with his siblings was better than he ever hoped it would be.
Gaara shifted to wipe his brow when he sensed another presence appear next to him. He turned carefully toward it, sea foam eyes narrowing a moment in surprise and slight concern.
Baki looked down carefully at Gaara, who sat hunched and guarded for a moment before straightening his spine.
“Baki,” Gaara muttered softly as a way of greeting, eyes still narrowed, as Baki lowered his head in recognition.
“Lord Gaara, I was just curious to see how you are doing today.” Gaara’s eyes softened before he blinked and turned his head away from the older man.
There was a beat before Gaara replied. “It’s a sandstorm today.”
Baki stiffened a moment. “Would you like help clearing it?” He asked hesitantly as Gaara took a breath and nodded to the space next to him.
Baki slowly lowered himself next to the redhead and studied him curiously. Since they had come back from the failed Konoha mission, Gaara had locked himself in his room to reflect on what he had done. It had taken three days of silence, of placing meals outside his door, of worrying for his health, when he had opened the door and apologized not only to Baki, but to his siblings as well. Temari and Kankuro had taken it in stride. Had accepted him, flaws and all, and never once wavered in their admiration of Gaara. Baki himself had taken a little longer to coax. He wasn’t proud to admit that he hadn’t believed Gaara’s attempt at an apology at first.
And then the assassin happened.
A week later, an assassin appeared in Gaara’s room, before they had even laid their Kazekage in the ground, wanting to rid the world of Gaara. Or wanting to be a hero to the village.
Both ideas were a foolish and deadly thought.
Normally, they would only know of an attempt on Gaara’s life, if that shinobi went missing, or if Gaara told them. On the rare occurrence they would find traces, sometimes blood, of an attempt but it was the norm by then.
Not only did Gaara leave the man alive, he had tried to reason with him and get him to leave.
Since then, Baki had worked with Gaara, asking how he was in more than just a physical aspect, and trying to find common ground. They had worked out this system, clear skies for good days when his mind wasn’t a torrent, sandy air if something was bothering him and he couldn’t quite grasp what the issue was.
And sandstorms meant bad days.
Days were loneliness would set in, guilt and regret would eat at him. Or worst of all, when Shukaku was active.
“What’s the biggest issue?” Baki asked staring out unseeing over the village as he waited patiently for Gaara to answer.
“I know Shukaku isn’t Mother. I know I can go to Temari and Kankuro now if I don’t want to be alone. I know I have things to do, that help the village, so I’m being productive.” He answered before pausing as he looked down at his hands. “However, I… do you know why I was chosen?” He asked as Baki took a deep breath.
“You were the most compatible with Shukaku-.”
“I know the logistics behind creating me. I understand why Father did what he did, but-.”
“How could he do this to his own son?” Baki asked slowly, turning to look at Gaara who didn’t look up, but nodded, nonetheless.
Baki was quiet a moment, “Do you know what closure is?”
“To close something.”
“Or, to give it a satisfying explanation.” He supplied, as Gaara looked up at him finally, confusion on his face as Baki took another breath.
“You have reflected on your past and understand what you did was wrong. You understand how to change and what you need to do in order to achieve that change. However, you must understand by that you did not ask to receive Shukaku, you did not ask to be burden with loneliness or to be isolated from your siblings.” Baki paused as Gaara’s face changed, his brows narrowing, and for a moment Baki worried that maybe he had misinterpreted the situation.
But then Gaara nodded in agreement to his words.
“You have been mistreated, and misused, and many injustices befell you, that could and should have been prevented.” Baki finished with a sigh as he crossed his arms. “You are seeking closure, answers for why such things occurred.” He glanced over as Gaara looked at him a mix of surprise and realization on his face as he nodded slowly as if still unsure.
“Unfortunately, though there isn’t anything I can do to help you achieve closure.”
Gaara knew that, Yashamaru was dead, his father as well, and his siblings only knew they were kept from him for their own safety. Gaara closed his eyes realizing that maybe this would always be carried with him, this feeling of being wronged. Of being abandoned.
“If I may Lord Gaara?” Baki asked as Gaara cracked open his eyes just enough to let the man next to him know he had his attention.
“I don’t believe closure exists.” He said with a finality that caused Gaara to look at him fully.
“I was seven when I made my first kill. I still remember the blood on the kunai, the sand in my mouth and the boy my age as he looked at me as he died. I remember feeling guilty for the life I took, of fighting the guilt because I was just doing my mission. There wasn’t any explanation besides I had to do it. No good reason for the war, just guilt and anger, and blood. I believe that we accept the things that happen, that trauma and pain happen. It is how we handle the aftermath, how we change ourselves that matters. You will never get an explanation, a satisfactory way of resolving why it happened. It doesn’t mean you can’t give yourself a satisfactory ending however.” Gaara looked at him with eyes wide and full of confusion, of realization, of startlement and lastly understanding. “What is one good thing to come out of this?” Baki asked and when Gaara looked at him, brows furrowed again, he gave him a knowing look. “You became someone strong for your village, Kazekage is no easy feat.” He supplied as Gaara looked down.
“…I got to meet Naruto. I got the chance to understand who I can be.” He offered as Baki smiled and nodded.
“It is easy to get caught up in the guilt of what happened, in the anger of knowing you can’t change it, or never having answers. But you can also reflect on the good things that happened. The knowledge that what happened to you, doesn’t have to happen again because you can change it. We are more than our pasts, change is continuous and we can always be better tomorrow than what we were today.” Baki smiled once more, something easy and knowing as he patted Gaara on the shoulder and rose to a stand.
It is quiet and he had to strain to hear it, but it was there. “Thank you.” Gaara said, as he stared unseeing at the village, processing his teacher’s words.
Baki smiled as he walked away. “There’s some paperwork to look over when you’re ready.”
the kazekage is gonna have to put up with his boyfriend’s intense training regimen for the day ♥️💚 #fanimecon #gaalee #gaara #rocklee #narutocosplay #fanime2019 #teamgai #sandsibs #naruto #shippuden https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx5bPABD3lV/?igshid=c4di4uli5cvn
The Muppets summons were *awesome* and I am sincerely hoping for a continuation someday, because it's been a while since I giggled like that :D
I appreciate you saying so. ^_^
If I ever do get around to writing an addendum then it’ll probably be about 10% Yashamaru going “What. What the fuck.” with 90% of Kankurou and Gaara brotherly bonding shenanigans. Tamari, in the meantime, is 100% done with these assholes, because her little brothers are angels. Fite her.
By which I mean Kankurou and Gaara play up on being adorable and loveable when they hang out with their big sister but everyone else in Suna knows that their innocent smiles are made of lies. Lies and deceit and falsehood. Tamari, however, is straight up terrifying in ways her brothers can’t quite manage so nobody ever manages to muster up the balls to argue with her about the demonic nature of her younger brothers.
It’s a beautiful, heartwarming family portrait. (Rasa may or may not have taken to drinking cactus juice just to achieve some peace of mind.) ^_^
That was his first thought after all the hours that have passed to see this marvel. Gaara examined the specimen further and his heart thuds a little harder from excitement. Even though the size of the package was lacking, the enormity of what he was holding didn’t weigh upon him any less. Kankuro looked over his shoulder then with wide dark eyes gleaming with excitement. He had, originally, dismissed holding the small phenomenon due to his fear of harming it unintentionally, but now as Gaara cradled it, a small amount of jealously bloomed in him. Still, he was happy alongside his little brother as he reached a hand forward to gently touch the small miracle. Temari watched from her bed, tired, sore, but so in love with the scene before her that it didn’t matter. She closed her eyes to forever imprint the scene behind her eyelids, just as Kankuro’s hand came close to small bundle.
Sand immediately stopped him as Gaara looked at him, sharply, from the corner of his eye.
“What?” He pulled his hand away with a whine as Temari glared at him.
“You haven’t washed your hands!” Her brow was creased with anger as Kankuro blinked and winced.
“Sorry Temari.” He turned away toward the sink in the corner of the room and washed his hands as Gaara stepped closer to Temari.
“When will Shikamaru be back?” He gently rocked the small bundle, the tiny miracle, as Temari smiled gently.
“My husband will be back soon, he just left to pick up a few things. And to bring me some decent food.” Her nose wrinkled with a sneer and Gaara nodded, but he’s not looking at her to see the sneer.
Dark dove soft hair, pale lovely skin, and a button nose he had seen before. Eyes are closed now, but the face is so similar to Shikamaru’s that it is undeniable. Kankuro approached hands clean as Temari smiled at her brothers and reached out to take back her son.
Sand once more moved to stop the approaching hands as Gaara smiled at the bundle, and Kankuro froze at Temari’s lowered head. So many times this scene had played out before, and each time ended with Temari’s terror. So when her head picked up he collapsed to the floor, ready and waiting for her anger.
“Gaara, can I please have my child back?” Temari asked her face serene and Kankuro stared surprised as Gaara nodded and carefully gave back his small nephew.
Shikadai cooed in Temari’s arms and yawned opening his eyes for the first time.
All three of the sand siblings stare into his eyes, surprised to see the same intelligent proud eyes of Temari looking back. Temari smirked that same prideful smile knowing now that her son had some resemblance to her, and glad the eye shape was hers as well. Kankuro blinked and grinned, and knew that one day his nephew would grow up, and be blunt and all-knowing similar to both his mother and father.
But Gaara didn’t just see Temari.
Shikadai was going to be intelligent, he knew that, but being newly born, he didn’t know anything. And these people around him could be anyone but he trusted them so much that after examining his mother and uncles, he merely yawned and nestled his way back to sleep. The innocence and trust, the love this child will feel, the thoughts override anything else and a wave of emotion overtakes him.
“G-Gaara?” Kankuro asked and he looked at his brother with tears streaming down his face.
Because Gaara didn’t just see Temari, he saw the stars in Shikadai’s eyes.
Shikadai knows nothing of pain, knows nothing of sadness, of feeling unloved, and he knowns nothing of Gaara’s past sins. He is pure innocence and made of love, and when Gaara looked back at him, he sees the future, hope, and above all someone else to cherish and hold.
To protect.
“Temari.” He rubbed his eyes free of tears as his sister gently touched his shoulder. “Anything you need. Just ask. I will be Shikadai’s shield. I can’t protect him from everything but-.”
“I know.” Temari smiled at him and Kankuro gripped his other shoulder.
