Why is it so uncommon for people to like both Dany and Sansa? They are both my favorites. Unlike a lot of Dany fans I’d be okay with it if Danny becomes a villain and I’ll like as a villain if that does happen. I see a lot of parallels and antiparallels in the characters but nobody is willing to talk with me about it. I get ignored or sometimes accused of secretly being anti Dany or anti Sansa, depending on who I’m trying to engage with. I don’t get why there is such a strict polarization where so many Sansa fans actively dislike Dany and vice versa. Is it just because of shipping? Am I one of the only people who loves both Dany and Sansa just because I like both Jonerys and Jonsa?????
There's bad blood in the fandom, because a certain subset of Dany's fans have been very aggressive toward Sansa fans (or anyone criticising Dany) in the past, which has made it difficult to establish any shared corners, I suppose.
Beside that, I think there are just very few people who are equally drawn to both characters and also perceive them in the same way.
What draws Sansa fans to Sansa and Dany fans to Dany tends to correlate with fundamentally different perceptions of the same source material. Relative power dynamics and the relationship with "righteous violence" tend to be very different. Hence you, too, acknowledging that many Dany fans reject the idea that she is on a villain path, while many many many Sansa fans clearly perceive her in this way. Just a very different reading of the text that leads to incompatible takes on the characters. There is simply not that much overlap. That's the polarization you speak of.
It is definitely not primarily about shipping. That's an oversimplification that dismisses the real meat of the issue. My opinion on Dany doesn't even require Jon Snow to exist, let alone be romantically involved with either of them.
I know there are Sansa fans who do like Dany (as a tragic figure, as a compelling villain, as an entertaining character, even as a not-yet-villain like you do, as daensa shippers) and that's perfectly lovely. I'm not one of them, but I respect them fully. I tag my critical posts with "anti daenerys targaryen" so her fans can filter them and ignore my posts or even my existence.
I can and do have discussions about Dany on a sympathetic level (as a past victim, as a rootless child, as a deeply lonely person) and I agree that there are parallels to explore with Sansa, but they happen within the frame that Dany is a villain while Sansa is not, that they are ultimately foils. That's a premise I can't budge from.
In theory, we could all happily ignore each other, where our views are not compatible. Alas.
