Y'all think I was joking? Nahhh this crackship grew on me and I wanna see how much I can make (probably not much 😭)
Introducing their twin kids! Their eldest daughter is Willow Wasp and their youngest son is Franklin. Named after the fonts, like Sans and Papyrus were ^^
"How do they have kids?" I headcanon that Trolls only need the DNA of their partner to place into their hair to make an egg. It's honestly the most plausible reason as to how Bruce and Brandy have so many kids and why Bruce's hair is so long because of it, so I'm using that HC for Sans and John Dory. John gently scraped some bone dust from Sans and placed it in his hair to make the eggs.
"Why do they have ears if they're skeletons?" Listen, I know ears don't have bones that show up in the skeleton, but it's the only way to distinguish that they're Troll Hybrids (apart from the hair, which also indicates that they're Troll Hybrids).
Summary: Wherein John Dory accidentally sneaks into the home universe of Sans after a very small margin of victory in the latest multiversal tourney; things escalate in unprecedented ways after the local scientist sizes him up to scale.
Warnings: swearing, drinking, god i am so sorry for this
Authors Note: @ohposhers @bulliestrolls someone needs to put you two in the fucking slammer for drawing sansdory, and then they need to put me in the slammer for writing sansdory. for the sake of enjoying this fic please picture JD as a lot more creature than in canon.
John Dory was small enough to fit inside of Sans' coat pocket.
Sans discovers this the hard way when the ex leader of brozone falls out of his pocket after his return to Snowdin.
"Ain't snow fucking way." Was what Sans managed as he stared at the unmoving body in the snow, far too small to be considered the average monster for the underground. The Troll would be eaten without a second thought, mistaken for the bugs Muffet doesn't provide protection for.
He plucks the tufted tail and holds up John Dory like he's a dead rat. Of course he snaps awake as soon as Sans is holding him at eye height, and with a screech he's flung aside as the skeleton lurches back.
Sans pauses to catch his breath, "Okay, so you're not dead. That's good."
"Where am I?!" Was John Dory's instant question as he shook the snow from his hair and brushed himself down.
"Pipe down pipsqueak, I won't let you get squished," Sans said as he took a seat on the snow. He held out a hand, "We should probably get you situated with Alphys, size you up a bit."
John reluctantly stepped onto a gloved hand and took a seat on the palm, it was cold and unpleasant. His tail thwipped loudly despite his size, "Anything else in mind to get me back home?" The words are agitated.
"Want me to leave you here?"
Silence.
"Thought so, I'll give you a hand in figuring it out, but you're playing by my rules bud."
"How were you the reigning champ for years on end?"
"The girlies liked me for my dry humor, MILF hunting attitude, and undetermined backstory- and my infinite fuckability of course."
"Must suck not having a dick."
Sans just gives a hum before giving John a gently toss, only a few inches but he still yelps and clings desperately to phalanges when he lands back in Sans' hand. It garners a chuckle from the skeleton, "Pal, I got extremities you couldn't even dream of, and no, that isn't an invitation to start listing 'em off."
John Dory shuts his mouth.
"Don't be shocked if Alphys tries to fill you up with needles and probes."
"With what-"
"She's a curious gal."
-/-/-/-
Thankfully the resizing process involves a lot less probing than Sans said it would, which John is eternally grateful for. He'd like to avoid having a cold piece of metal shoved up his ass if possible. The process just required a small blood sample and some weighing before he was resized with one little ray.
And then he was the exact same height as Sans, give or take a few inches.
"Proportionately, I can see why you won," Sans said, hands stuffed in his pockets and expression same as always. It's far too hard for John Dory to read, he can't tell if it's sarcastic or genuine.
"Thanks." He shrugs off the compliment because he doesn't know how to take it.
"Is it easier to see why I was the reigning champ?" Sans asked.
"You're the furthest thing from 'sexyman' out there," John Dory said before he could actually think about the words exiting his mouth.
Sans laughed, "Tell it to The Onceler, if you can convince him to take me off the bracket then I'll stop trying my best."
"You don't try at all."
"The girlies like me for that."
"What is it with you and the girlies?"
"What makes you think that the guys were voting for me?" Sans shot back, "Think you can walk and talk? I know a shortcut."
"Good point," John Dory said, "I can walk and talk."
"Cool." Sans holds out a hand.
"What?"
"Gotta hold my hand to take the shortcut."
John places his paw atop Sans hand and the grip the motion is received with is far too intense to be considered normal. But a shortcut is a shortcut, and he'll just have to take help to get around this universe until he can get home.
-/-/-/-
"Ketchup?"
"Yeah man, ketchup." Sans tossed a bottle to John Dory as he spoke, the Troll catching it with ease.
"You expect me to drink ketchup? I've had worse, but what about alcohol?" John asked.
"Bud," Sans began, "The bartender is a living flame, you really think he wants to be handling highly flammable stuff?"
"Fair point, but can you actually get drunk offa ketchup?" John asked, and he gave this slanted smirk as he spoke, partially leaning an elbow on the bar. He's gotten more comfortable after a week in Sans' hometown, he lives in the room under the sink in the skelebros household and made it his own until later notice.
Sans gives a hum, "Wanna find out?"
John grins before popping off the cap, "Try me."
-/-/-/-
"What do they put in this shit, Sans?" The words are spoken with a giggle and despite the ache in his head John Dory goes back for more.
"Tomatoes," Sans answered with, still slowly downing his first serving of ketchup.
"It's gotta be more than that, bonedaddy," John Dory purred, leaning a little bit more on the bar and resting his chin in his hands.
A distinct azure rises to Sans' face, "I think you've had too much ketchup."
"You meant it."
"What?"
"When we were in the lab, when you said I looked hot. You meant it, you like me," John deduced rather skillfully despite his inept state.
"And if I do?" Sans asked.
John pauses, "It'd be hot, Sans and John Dory double teaming the tourney."
"Alright, we should get home," Sans said, sliding off his bar stool and holding out a gloved hand.
John Dory took it and slid off his own stool, his tail wagged about lazily. His face is burning up and he looks oddly lovesick, a realization that Sans makes the choice to ignore until he can contemplate it late at night. Alone. In bed. By himself.
The Troll slinks an arm under Sans' shoulders, face resting atop the fluff of his hoodie and nuzzled into the collar of his turtleneck, he still clutches a hand tightly. He gives a contented hum, "Your jacket's soft."
"I know."
"You're soft."
"That's an odd thing to say considering I'm all bones."
"I'll show you bones."
"We really gotta get you home."
"And then?"
"And then you're going to sleep, no goodnight kiss."
-/-/-/-
Another week passes and Papyrus suddenly has to deal with the fact that Sans and John Dory are being overtly romantic.
"Your teeth are cold." John Dory would always say whenever he tried to kiss Sans.
"The girlies like it." Sans would always answer.
And sometimes John Dory would try again to get the usually snapped shut jaw open, or he'd say, "I guess I'm one of the girlies."
They'd laugh and after a small beat of silence continue on with their day.
Maybe it's selfish that Sans is keeping John Dory from a way back to his own universe, but he's pretty sure the Troll doesn't mind. He's stopped asking when he'll get to go back home at least, and Sans is benefiting from having someone around.
It makes the resets more tolerable if nothing else, and Sans just doesn't tell John about them. About the times he's watched everyone die and everyone live, he never speaks a word of it. And unless Frisk brings it up, he won't have to know of the amnesia or the violence.
And they can keep living their happily ever after.
