Hi there!! I had an idea for a request which is more of a drabble or maybe just a small thought for you to make into something that you love maybe? Based after the saviours and at Sanctuary when Daryl goes to lead them and reader goes with him to help but ends up helping Daryl push through some ptsd (or something like that).
Hi Anon!!
Sorry for taking me too long but I really wanted to write your request I liked it and I never wrote something like that before and I wanted to try.
"Rick, I don't think this is doing Daryl any good." You say to your leader one day when you return to Alexandria.
The war with Negan is finally over, the man has been defeated, reduced in a cell where he will never see the light of day again until Rick really decides what to do with him, because Carl didn't want him to kill him and Rick was fulfilling his son's wishes. No one shared his decision, you had all lost too much to that sadistic and savage man, but Rick had always led you well and you decided to trust him once again.
However the idea of putting Daryl in charge of the Sanctuary you think is too much. He clearly hasn't gotten over everything that happened to him in there and he doesn't share it, not with you, but not with Carol either you know that with her he's always had much more trust for everything, but he seems broken, a little old toy that can't find his place and you hate to see him like that. That's why you decided to go with him all the way to the Sanctuary to help him put that whole place back in its place, you know he can do it, he's not an idiot, but you don't want anything bad to happen to him.
"Has Daryl said anything to you?"
"No, you know how he is, he never says anything, but that place is obviously not good for him."
"I need him there, he's the person I trust the most, I know he'll get through his demons and help those people." Rick assures you before continuing on with his own tasks.
You don't doubt that Daryl will get over it one day, because he's strong, because he always has been, you've fought through worse, you've come out of it all, but Daryl is fighting this all by himself, he's not letting anyone help him and that worries you.
Leaving Rick in Alexandria you return with a pickup truck full of supplies and crops to try to get something to grow there, it's frustrating; the factory ground is so coarse and hard that nothing grows there, you're barely lucky that the corn gets big enough to be able to make oil for the vehicles' engines with it and keep some electronics running, but the rest dies before it grows enough.
You sigh parking the van in the huge factory yard, there where they used to keep the Walkers tied up and torture their prisoners, now you have placed the corn crops among other things, it is the largest space with sunshine and easy access to water. You get out of the car greeting some of the Saviors who approach you.
Not everyone makes things easy, not everyone has accepted that their leader has been imprisoned, some are still loyal to Negan, maybe that's also what has Daryl in tension, but many others have accepted the new situation, they want to stay alive, they accept being in the Sanctuary as punishment, they are hungry but follow Rick and Daryl's orders, some collaborate more and strive for things to be well and easy for everyone.
Laura is one of them, Negan's right hand, feisty and acid tongue, at first she was not in a position to help anyone, but now you even think you have become friends. You don't trust each other blindly, but you don't consider her a threat. You are starting to unload everything with the help of a few people when you hear shouting inside the factory. Instinctively you put yourself on guard holding the gun you carry in the waistband of your pants, Laura comes out of the building in a hurry and when she sees you she seems to look relieved.
That doesn't help you.
"You've finally arrived, Daryl's gone crazy!" She says when she reaches you.
"What, what happened?"
"I don't know, he suddenly turned and started hitting one of the guys. No one was able to separate them."
"Fuck, Daryl..."
You run with the others inside the building, as the blonde has told you, there is a group running around and in the middle is Daryl holding someone under his body without stopping hitting, over and over again, grunting and panting like a wild animal.
This was what you feared the most.
"Daryl, stop it!" You run to him and pull hard on his body.
You know you don't have the strength to move him, Daryl is all muscle and nerve right now, using his whole body to deliver harder punches, you stagger, but you try again, screaming in frustration and punch him in the back.
"Daryl, I said enough!" you yell once more pulling at his arm as he tries to puch him again.
In the struggle you take the blow, you don't even realize it, now that you've managed to pin him down others help you get him off of him. Daryl fights like a wounded and cornered animal, you get him to look at you and then you slap him hard. Everything suddenly goes silent, you can only hear your agitated breaths. You can see that Daryl is struggling to come to his senses, but at the same time the anger is still overpowering him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Daryl!"
"He was singing!" he shouts and you raise your eyebrows in surprise. "He was singing that fucking song!" He's hysterical and you don't understand a thing.
"What are you talking about!"
"Fuck ya!" he yells at you and shoves you quickly walking away.
**
Your eye hurts like hell, you never thought someone could hit you that hard and he wasn't even aiming. Clearly that man has the strength of a truck. You sigh as you walk through the huge factory halls doing your surveillance rounds. After the little stunt that morning people are a bit shocked and upset, you understand them but at the same time you know that Daryl must have a good excuse to have done something like that, you don't know exactly which one, but you trust him. You are about to turn around in the wide pavilion when you hear noise above one of the catwalks, you look up and discover Daryl looming there, your heart starts pounding violently.
"Daryl, wait!" You call out to him running towards the catwalk stairs and climb up until you reach him.
"What? what's with that face? Y'think I was gonna throw myself off?" There's irony in his voice but there's anger too. You sigh and shrug.
"I don't know... Would you?"
"Nah, I haven't gone through all this shit to kill myself now, besides... I wouldn't die, I'd turn into one of those things... I'd take out some of those motherfuckers..."
"That wouldn't be fair... because I'd have to stop you... and I'd be unable to kill you..." You whisper looking at him out of the corner of your eye, you see him relax too, he chews his lip and grunts nodding his head.
You smile too, you feel he's back to his usual Daryl self, at least in that instant, you missed him. Then you see him frown, he moves closer to you and holds your chin turning your face a little. You know what he's looking at and you swallow hard.
"What happened to ya?" He is clearly unaware of when he hit you. You shake your head and hold his hand.
"It's nothing, this morning I took a hit helping Rick, nothing more." You smile because you don't want him to feel like it's his fault. It was just a mistake.
Daryl hums low letting go of you to lean on the railing of the catwalk again, you watch him closely, there is something inside him that is fighting to want to get out, but he holds it back with all his might. You reach over and rest a hand on his back, you feel him tense under your touch.
"Daryl, what happened this afternoon?" You ask him softly.
"What happened? Ya wanna know what happened?" he hisses angrily, clenching his fists on the metal bar.
"Please, you can talk to me about anything you need to. I'm here..."
"It happens to me that I shouldn't be here!" he explodes and almost scares you. "It happens to me that this shitty place should be reduced to ashes! It happens to me that these people should be dead because so many are still loyal to Negan! It happens to me that that son of a bitch should be dead!"
"Daryl..."
"No! He's taken everything from us! Food! Our home! He's killed our people!" he continues to yell loudly. "And Rick has left him alive!"
"Rick did what I thought he did..."
"No, don't tell me he did it 'cause it was the right thing to do... That we're here is the right thing to do too?"
"Rick trusts you, he knows you'll help these people, I'll help you..."
"Rick doesn't know shit! I don't care about these people!"
"Don't say that... Daryl, I know you, I know..."
"Ya dunno me!" He bursts out again and closes the distance between you. "Ya dunno shit about me!"
"That's not true, we've traveled together for a long time, Daryl I know what you're like."
"Y'know what I've wanted ya to know about me. just like everyone else! But ya dun know anything about me, NOTHING! I'm ain't a good person, never have been, we all play save our asses, that's all that matters."
"That's not..."
"What, that's not true? Yain't have a clue. I shouldn't be here, this place... everything that's happened here... Rick brought me here without asking me, ordering me around, because I'm the good guy, because I'm the one who always helps, the leader next to the leader. Bullshit! I didn't ask for any of this!"
"Daryl, calm down..."
"Or what? Yer afraid I'll hit ya again?" Daryl is breathing heavily through his nose, you can see his chest rise and fall rapidly. "Y'think I didn't know? I really thought ya'd tell me it was me hoping for an apology, but ya told me that shit." You don't know if he's more angry at you for lying to him or at himself.
"It was nothing, you didn't hit me on purpose." You shrug. "It doesn't hurt."
"It wasn't on purpose, so it's okay?"
"For God's sake, Daryl, stop it! What's really wrong with you!" You grab him by the shoulders to make him look at you.
"It's this damn place! It all reminds me of what I've been through here! And that guy this afternoon I was making my rounds and all of a sudden he started singing that damn song and I..." He falls silent and lowers his head.
There it is again, that song, you have no idea what he's talking about, but it's clear that something very strong has happened to him and that song, whatever it is, is the key to everything. You caress his cheek, you feel him struggle a little against you, but he still doesn't lift his head, it's evident that all the rage he had inside has vanished and he has lost all his strength.
"They played it over and over again... non-stop, every time they came to my cell, no matter the time, no matter the moment. It was always there... they tortured me, they treated me like a dog... they even gave me dog food, they kept my clothes, they made me look at Glenn's picture every day..."
He's speaking in whispers, but you hear it all, still holding him by the shoulders, his hair brushes your cheek and you feel his body tremble under your touch, it's almost imperceptibly, but you know what's happening to him.
"That guy started singing and suddenly I saw myself back in that cell, with nothing, eating dog food, letting Negan fuck me over, watching you all die and I..." His voice sounds broken and you feel tears fall down your cheeks.
You shush him and embrace him, pressing his head against your chest, stroking his hair as if he were a small child, Daryl hesitates for a second but his arms wrap around your body, his hands dig into your back and he presses you against him so hard you're afraid he'll break you, but you don't hesitate, you rock him in your arms letting him cry silently, his face hidden in your neck.
You don't say anything, you let him unburden himself, let him release everything he has been accumulating during all this time. It is clear that Rick has made a mistake taking Daryl there, that place is bad for the archer, it is poison for those wounds that have not yet finished healing completely. You feel that his grip is weaker now, surely recovering little by little, but still unable to face you, now it is shame that dominates him. He has shown himself to you vulnerable and hurt, it's too embarrassing and uncomfortable for him, you could never make fun of something like that, but some things about Daryl never change.
"I'm sorry..." You hear him say and he slowly breaks away. You smile pushing his hair away from his face. All the anger in his gaze is gone, the stormy sea that was his blue irises are now calm again. You shrug your shoulders shaking your head.
"Why?"
"I shouldn't have hit ya... I didn't mean to, it was..."
"An accident, Daryl, I told you, you have nothing to worry about."
"An accident I could have avoided..."
"Stop torturing yourself, please. If you had hit me on purpose, I would have kicked you in the balls and we'd be having a completely different conversation right now." You joke, you see him a smile falter on his mouth and snort through his nose.
"Of course..."
"We'll talk to Rick, okay? We'll figure something out, we'll get away from this place, you'll never have to come back..."
"It's not just that..."
"I know, but we'll figure it out, little by little." You smile and hold his hand tightly. "You're not alone, Daryl."
His gaze bores into you, intense, heavy, your body shudders because you've never felt the man examine you with such intensity. He nods and grunts low, giving his approval to your plan. Your smile widens further if possible and this time it is you who embraces him. The two of you stand there in silence, on the catwalk, the night inside the Sanctuary watching over you.
The End...
≈≈≈
I know you said a drabble but I couldn't stop writing I really liked the idea.
#project hail mary
#the amazing digital circus
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