An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Merry Christmas y’all! Please enjoy some idiots enjoying their Christmas afternoon together. The headcanon that Kakuzu is an old man who just wants a nap and wears way too many socks has been brought to you by the bestest of beans, @akatzombie ilu dear
Pairing: Kakuzu/Hidan/Sasori
¹ (verb) (past-p) to soften an old, greedy geezer’s heart by reminding him of the true meaning of Christmas
Crystal clear coldness smothered the town like a blanket, snuffing out the sound of footsteps and foraging, and Kakuzu was looking forward to a nap.
It was Christmas Eve and he had left his office early, ready to enjoy the peace and quiet of the late afternoon. He had just put on a second pair of socks, a third already within reach for later, and taken up residence on their couch, tea in one hand and War and Peace in the other, when –
the door to their apartment was slammed open, probably leaving a dent in the wall, as Hidan burst into the room.
“Huh, you’re home early, old man,” he stated, pleasantly surprised. Behind him, the door was still vibrating from the force of the impact.
Kakuzu did not respond and instead continued to stare at Hidan. “You look ridiculous.”
The young man was only wearing a pair of jeans, braving the freezing cold outside with decidedly too much exposed skin, and a Santa hat that crowned his white hair. While a cheap-looking Santa beard covered half his face, Kakuzu had his doubts that it helped keep him warm in any way or form.
“Just getting into the Christmas spirit!”
“It’s cold, Hidan. Wear a jacket. Or at the very least a shirt.” There wasn’t even a need for the costume, Kakuzu thought to himself. With that hair and those eyes, Hidan fit right in with the Christmas decoration beside him.
“No, YOU are cold. That’s why you think that IT is cold. It is actually quite nice out,” Hidan assessed while freeing his head from that tacky hat and beard, running a hand through his for once unkept hair.
Kakuzu wanted to argue, but as he followed Hidan’s eyes which were mustering the third pair of socks he had been planning to put on, he had to admit that he had very little room to do so. Instead he just sighed. So much for tranquillity of an early day at home.
As if to emphasise his point, Hidan threw himself on the couch, the two of them bouncing from the force of it, and nearly caused Kakuzu to spill his tea. But the younger man had no regard for the mayhem he had introduced into his partner’s life, snuggling up to him instead.
“I don’t mind, though. It means you’re warm to the touch.”
Even though Hidan had claimed that it was ‘actually quite nice out’, he was freezing, and burrowed into the older man like some small, furry animal would into its nest to survive the winter.
“Aren’t you supposed to have your cuddling needs met by Sasori?” Kakuzu complained, unhappy that the hardly acquired warmth was stolen from him in the elaborate heist that was this cuddling session but unwilling to do anything about it.
Hidan just snorted in response.
“Both of you absolutely hate cuddling. That’s why I’m forcing either one of you to cuddle a little bit so none of you has to have a heart attack just because someone held your hand for more than two minutes.”
Grumbling good-heartedly, Kakuzu brought his large hand to a rest in the tuft of white hair in his lap, continuing to read his book with a faint smile on his lips. Hidan, having chosen his den for hibernation, quickly fell asleep. Neither of them rose for the next hour, too warm and comfortable to move.
You can read the rest here on AO3!
