Hey, friends. I know I haven't been on lately but I haven't gone anywhere. Just been dealing with a lot at the moment. I wanted to take a moment, though, to educate some people about cruelty and toxicity in fandoms as a public service reminder.
I have a good friend whom I met through our shared love of BTS and here recently she was targeted by multiple fandoms for posting reactionary videos to our favorite kpop idols. Someone commented on her video reacting to a Seonghwa photo, saying that she was clearly sexualizing him and how "disgusting" and "creepy" it was for a 37 year old woman to act that way towards an idol. They have come up with excuse after excuse as to why they targeted her, attacking her for any and everything they could imagine, saying things like:
"It's not your age, but the fact that you sexualize them"
"It's just a joke among POC ARMYs, you're overreacting"
"Taehyung hates white people, so you should know your place"
"You're sexualizing minors and that's not okay"
"The legal age in Korea is 20, and he's now 22. He's a new adult, so he's basically still a minor"
And that's not even the half of the things she's been told. People would post their own videos of her, making her look like some pedophile, getting THEIR friends to join in the onslaught of bullying and tear her down.
So, if you have heard or seen anything to do with a TikTok creator by the name of SatinSilver, please check twice regarding what you've heard.
Thus, I give you a few things that everyone should know about my dear friend:
She served in the war against Afganistan, only to protect her country and family
She has four amazing kids, all of whom she takes such great care of and who cherish her more than any teenager loves their parents
She is 37 and all of her fellow kpop friends refer to her as "kpop mama" because she takes such good care of them and looks after each of them
She loves all of her followers and even those who just reach out to her like they were her family
If you have ever mentioned your name to her she will remember and go out of her way to acknowledge you at any point in time
She will stand up for any injustice in a mature manner
She isn't afraid to tell someone like it is if they've done something unacceptable
She is one of the kindest, most supporting, most philanthropic individuals I have ever had the pleasure of knowing
She, AND HER FAMILY, have been the victims of cyber bullying and no matter who you are or where you come from that is unequivocally unacceptable. My dear friend was thrown to the ground and stoned for being attracted to an idol younger than herself. Now, these bullies will say that her age has nothing to do with it, and yet she will still recieve messages and hate speech telling her to look elsewhere because she's so "old".
And here are a few things we should remember as a kpop fan community:
Treat others with respect
We are all joined together by something much bigger than us
We are all important, especially to our idols
There is no room for bullying within our kpop fandoms
There is a difference between standing up for your idols and throwing accusations around like confetti for no apparent reason, other than to cause strife
You are more than allowed to express your indifference for something or someone but that does not give you the right to punish them because they don't agree with you
Just because our skin color may be different, if we are from different countries, when we may not be close to the same age does not give anyone the right to harass you, tease you or make jokes at your expense
When you make a joke be considerate and remember that if the other person isn't laughing can it really be considered a joke?
It simply blows me away that as a community of individuals who love and support groups that stand for equality, friendship, justice and the race to end violence, some of us are still able to and exclusively make it their jobs to pushing others around and directly assaulting them without hearing their story. So please, think twice before accusing someone of something or standing by when someone does just that. We need to remember that words can hurt, and if you're the only one laughing at some joke you made at someone else's expense it is NOT a joke. Let's spread love, support, hope and appreciation, not degradation, spite or hate.
