I feel like Gojo and Geto both confessed at the same time. They said each other's names at the same time while hanging out, and decided they'd say their thoughts at the same time. Then they both said "I like you," before Gojo jinxed Geto
(I'm literally only using as many tags as I am because of how much I love this headcanon I just thought of)
✼pairing: hogwarts au - slytherin!gojo x ravenclaw!reader
✼summary: gojo satoru, the golden boy of a famous family lineage of wizards sets his sights on you, a half blood defying his pureblood morals. he makes it a goal in his life to make yours a living hell. years of endless pestering, teasing and rivalry stretching out between you. as time goes on, he finds himself thinking about you more than he isn’t while the world descends towards potential evil. he grows torn between his family’s beliefs and the forbidden ache tickling his chest whenever he sees you.
✼meaning: wonderwall - the person you cannot stop thinking about (song by oasis)
✼genre/tags: hogwarts au, female reader, strangers to enemies/sort of academic rivals to forbidden lovers, slow burn, angst, eventual smut, pining and yearning (mostly gojo), built up tension, teasing, bickering and pestering, jealousy, slightly spoiled gojo, obsessed and lovesick gojo, both are pretty oblivious to their feelings
✼warnings: discrimination, death, grief, shitty parents, light bullying, mentions of hook ups, sexual topics, family pressure and trauma, mentions of injuries and violence, degradation, mentions of political views, escalating political situation, lgbtq representation, cheating
✼word count: 8.2k
✼chapter: 10/?
a/n: hey guys, it's been a while and I'm so excited to share where this story is heading. hopefully there are some of you who still enjoy the story!:)
based on this // previous chapter // next chapter (pending…)
˚⟡˖ ࣪: link to playlist
˚⟡˖ ࣪: link to vision-board
Present, January 29th 2010
You've been out of Hogwarts for so long now you barely recall the ease of your youth, though, you miss it dearly, knowing where has your life taken a turn. No, where did the corruption of the wizard world force you to take a turn.
It gets to you in moments like these, walking in the outskirts of London with the wind blowing through your clothes and making you shiver under its chilly embrace. Your hands work quickly to button up your coat, tucking your scarf gently inside the fabric of it to keep yourself warm enough to concentrate. The empty streets are illuminated by the lamp's yellowy streak of light, and it's dead quiet. Only the occasional rustle of rats and passing vehicles can be heard in the background, however, you still keep looking over your shoulder every now and then. Not able to help yourself with the nausea settled in the pit of your stomach as you silently wonder, wonder and wonder all over again.
Your boots thump against the pavement, hurriedly steps striding your body down the street you're supposed to, fairly nervous due to the fact getting caught at this moment could lead you to a bitter end.
Once you reach the house labelled with the number 1408, you pause in your tracks to recall what instructions you've been given.
Knock two times, pause, knock another three.
As you do so flawlessly, something rumbles behind the garage door, and before you know it —you're being teleported. Even though you deem yourself to be somewhat of a master at this, it manages to catch you so off guard that you end falling flat on your behind. You wince lowly, and blink your eyes open.
''My, my. Took you long enough,'' Devin pulls you out of your initial shock, urging you to look up at him while a small frown laces your features. He laughs in the warm way just he can muster up in times like these, getting you up to your feet with the help of his hand. Seeing him in full flesh, and most importantly, hearing his voice puts you at ease despite his teasing. Devin doesn't let go of your hand immediately once you're up on your feet, instead, he pulls you closer by it. Straight into his arms.
''Gosh, I'm so glad you're okay,'' you muffle into the fabric of his sweater in spite of your brief annoyance, your nose picking up on his familiar cinnamony scent lingering in the wool. Your arms wrap around his torso, holding him intimately close. So close you can in fact heart the thumping and stumbling of his heart. The movements of his palm against your back are a soothing gesture that brings you a passing peace of mind. With the missions they’re all doing, you can never be sure if one is to come back any time soon, or ever. Meaning moments like these are always special.
''Bells here yet?'' you pull away a couple of inches, arms still resting against him as you look up at his face. The furrowing of your brows is a clear indication of your concern for your best friend, praying she and everyone else made it back safely.
''Yeah, she was here first actually,'' he nods as stares down at you, his eyes flickering between your features as if trying to burn them to his memory, just in case this might be the last time he gets to do this. Your hands slide from his back over to his sides, squeezing them in an attempt to provide reassurance before you let go of each other.
The thundering of your heart eases down with the new information, already working on undoing your coat and unwrapping the scarf from around your neck. You kick off your boots and quietly tip toe dow the dark hallway, which is only illuminated by the dim light coming from where you're headed — the living room. Your head peaks inside to see at least a dozen of figures. As you watch them for a moment, Devin's warmth envelopes you from behind, mimicking your actions. Both of you drink in the calm atmosphere, not what’s your new setting. You can't help yourself to not lift your gaze up to him again, looking over your shoulder. He faintly smiles down at you, scanning your cheeks that are tinted by a dusty pink colour from the cold.
Then, your orbs then rake over your comrades one more time. The ones you shared your school years with and those you have come to know in favour of the world coming undone. Some you know for weeks, some for months, but only a handful for years. Nonetheless, the circumstances which brought you together paint it out to be like you've known each other since birth. You care for one another in these darker times, forming what one could describe as a second family by now.
Arabella eventually notices your figure leaning against the wall with Devin just behind you, her spirits lifting up as she measures her steps to your location. A genuine smile forces its way onto your lips, widening your mouth with a small dose of softness. Neither of you speak because your expressions and the simple way you hug each other tightly speaks volumes, volumes words could never compare to.
''Is anyone missing?'' you whisper after a long minute into her strawberry blond hair, which has ben cut short into a bob recently — her curls not as prominent. The words are hard to mouth out aloud, knowing what sort of heaving weight the answer could bring. Yet, you ask it anyway, braced to hear the news. You have already lost many in the past, so this wouldn't be anything unfamiliar.
''Beatrice isn't here, she hasn't left a message since Tuesday,'' Arabella takes a moment to speak and you know something's wrong instantly. A sigh escapes your lips involuntarily while the ache settles in your chest. The thought of loosing someone whom you know since the very first year of Hogwarts is terrifying. One that might have just become trus.
''How's Dorothy holding up?'' you mummer instead to ask about the older sisters’ whereabouts, pulling away from her homely embrace.
''Yeah, not good,'' your best friend shakes her head, fidgeting with her hands. And it comes to your attention Beatrice’s not in the room, probably somewhere off where no one can see her.
''We have go look for her,'' you suddenly blurt out, starring into the distance. Both Arabella and Devin go still, hearing your words doesn't shock them, but rather concerns them due to your circumstances.
''Yes, we, but not you. Not with the bounty on your head,'' Devin reminds you of the guillotine sparkling above your head, placed by none other than Gojo's father. The money reward hangs around like a painful label of the reality you're in, and what you received it for is certainly not your proudest moment. It has been months, yet it still feels as if it were yesterday you spoke that damn spell aloud.
''He's right, as much as you hate it, we can't afford to put you at such a risk,'' a hand of Arabella's lands on your shoulder, squeezing it in hopes of pressing some sense into you. In spite of your affect, you're aware they're in the right here. That you're being unreasonable, therefore, you don't protest.
''Let's leave the conversation for tomorrow then, everyone's probably exhausted,'' you mumble in substitute, casting your attention away from the both of them as you head fully into the living room to greet everybody who made it back.
Seeing the faces of your comrades makes you temporarily forget everything, shoving off the cannibalistic anxiety you are submerged in nearly every fraction of a moment. Meaning, you relish in the calm, bath in it and stretch it out for as long as you're capable of while fully aware tomorrow morning the cycle begins all new.
''There's our star, how have you been?'' one of the older members called Inez welcomes you first, pulling you into a side hug.
She’s what one could call a leader of your group.
''Oh you know, lurking in the streets per usual, waiting around for you guys,'' you respond in a teasing manner, sliding straight into the playful banter you have build over the last couple of months. She tightens her grip on you momentarily before letting you go, chuckling with a small grin in the process.
''I presume Arabella told you about Beatrice,'' she breaks straight into the unspoken tension, not dancing around it. Immediately, your smile falters in a flicker.
''Yeah, she has,'' you confirm with a heavy sigh, nodding your head and taking a step away from her.
''Did she also ask you the question?'' the woman in her early forties presses carefully as if she's unsure, probably right to be due to the fact you have no idea what's being addressed here. Your brows fall down into a confused crease, mouth opening to ask for clarification, however, you're cut off by Arabella's sudden arrival.
''Inez, no. I told you I'm against the idea,'' your best friend doesn't bother to peak into your direction, straightforward with Inez, which causes you to spiral furthermore into your inability to grasp your surroundings.
''Can either of you tell me what's going on?'' the sound of your voice breaks them apart, their attention and heads snapping into your direction — taking in the emotions swirling in your expression.
''Inez, no'' Arabella insists, her gaze uncharacteristically firm.
''I'm sorry, Bellie,'' Inez's nickname for her rolls of her tongue in an apologetically sounding way before she finally turns to you with answers.
''With Beatrice gone, there's no one to complete her mission. And I have to selfishly ask you if you'd consider taking it, despite your disadvantage,'' she proceeds to explain, picking her words with no desire to sugarcoat things, which is clearly upsetting Arabella judging by her act of clenching and unclenching her fists.
''Though, it wouldn't play much of a role. You'd be disguised as Eleanor Dawlish,'' she adds.
''This is so stupid, you cannot possibly have her be the right hand of the older Gojo, sending her straight into the dragon’s nest,'' once again, the strawberry blonde leaves no space for you to express your thoughts, fiercely taking into account the possibility of you being arrested and sent into Azkaban. Or worse.
''I'll do it, just tell me what to do. I'll do it,'' you mumble under your nose, looking at Inez rather than at your friend who had been defending you. This stunts both of them, each for a different set of reasons.
To be fair, your willingness baffles you too.
''Y/N, you can't be serious right now,'' Arabella continues to filter her disagreement aloud, shooting you down with concern and irritation. The recent years had roughened her soft edges, sometimes it's for the better and sometimes you find yourself cursing the life you're living.
''It sounds important, we also can't afford to lose more time,'' you keep your ground and respond, prepared to hear your friend's share of thoughts.
''See? That's the spirit,'' Inez mumbles proudly, encouraging you in your foolish display of bravery. Although, deep down you know she would never ask you if this wasn't significantly important.
''So, when's it taking place?'' you breath out, attempting to hide the strain in your voice. Not precisely keen on the idea of being seen as weak for backing out in front of everyone. For this particular reason, you swallow your fears and brace yourself.
''Tomorrow,''
Oh, for fuck's sake, perhaps you should have dwell on it some more before agreeing to it so carelessly.
By the time Inez and everyone else finishes explaining the details about your upcoming mission, which became your out of the blue, and the information their own missions throughout the week allowed them to obtain — it's way past midnight. And considering a long day is ahead of you tomorrow, you head to bed after bidding everyone a good night and scattering little ''see you in the morning'' back pats.
Your stomach's already churning with disapproval, mind filling with the countless possible outcomes of tomorrow. But you keep telling yourself you desperately need what's in the vault to play out your long planned mission to take the Gojos down.
Silence heaves in the atmosphere as your steps lead you up the staircase, the wood creaking eerily beneath feet. Everyone's either down in the living room still, or already in their rooms, hence the lack of sound. Your insides feel incredibly crushing as you rise, the aftermath of your reckless decision settling at last.
''Hey,'' you call out to Devin the moment you reach the top of the staircase, he has just walked out of his room at the opposite side of the dimly lit hallway, the yellowish lights giving the illusion of warmth.
''Hey, before you head to bed, I uhh... Bella told me what you agreed to,'' he quickly closes the distance separating you, now only a handful of inches away.
''Okay? Are you about to scold me some more?'' there's no way to suppress the irritation lacing your tone, thinking you're about to get scolded for everything all over again by another person.
''No, I've grown used to you being so stubborn,'' Devin's response takes you by a surprise, not an unpleasant one. As a result, your features soften up.
''What else brought you to me?'' your head tilts to the side in suggestion, tone altered into a casual one.
''I guess I simply wanted to see you one more time. I won't be here in the morning, gotta run errands early,'' he utters quietly, his statement meant for your ears only. Devin proceeds to look over his shoulder, surveying the surroundings for any passerby before his hands ultimately reach for your face in order to cradle it. He searches your eyes for permission, which you sense instantly and then nod. This small gesture is the reassurance he needs, wasting no more time in bringing your mouth over to his. He kisses you with no rush, savouring the sensation of being able to sense the press of them against his. Your hands act on instinct, sliding up his upper arms to wrap around his neck in hopes of deepening the kiss.
''Mhm, I'm glad you stopped by then,'' you speak after breaking the interlocking of your mouths with eyes barely open, breath still fanning over his parted lips due to your close proximity.
''Yeah, me too,'' he whispers back, barely sucking in a dose of air as he takes the initiative to seize another kiss from you. Another, and then one more.
''I promise we will find Beatrice,'' he mumbles into your skin, both of your chests heaving with the heat of the moment.
''We have to,'' Devin adds once this kiss comes to an end, pulling away a reasonable distance while his hands move down to the sides of your neck.
''Don't go around doing something stupid out there,'' you gulp down, composing yourself.
''Almost sounds like you care about me,'' he snickers with a lazy grin, drawing his thumb over your pulse point.
''Don't be an idiot,'' your face furrow gently, though there's a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. This expression of yours causes him to softly chuckle, your failed attempt to present yourself as something you're not amusing to him.
''Till next time?'' you mouth the words you tell one another every time you're about to part ways, your ritual of promises to meet again.
''Till next time,' he repeats.
The last time you saw the white-haired prodigy was at the graduation ceremony in May, over two years ago. In a few months, when spring pierces through winter, it will be three. Even then, the world was already teetering on the edge of corruption, and you stood there, watching it unfold with no power. Nearly three years have passed since you last saw the interior of your second home, yet you can still vividly recall the chill running through your bones as you stood atop the Astronomy Tower, betrayal coursing through your core.
You didn’t return home that May, ignoring every attempt your mother made to schedule a meeting, and carefully avoiding every place where you might run into her. Strangely, she never sought you out, though she must have known where you were staying. Arabella offered you a smaller room at her parents' house in the countryside, far from the bustling centre of London. That summer, you spent the last days of your childhood there — both you and Arabella filled to the brim with hopes for a better future, though neither of you would admit what was quietly blossoming beneath the surface.
To ease your mind, you kept yourself busy. Arabella’s parents assigned countless tasks to pass the summer months. You picked all sorts of fruits in the garden. Ranging from berries, cherries, and peaches to watermelons. The sun burned down at your back with a severe desperation, leaving your skin wore down. You cared for the animals, baked pies with Arabella’s mother, and walked long kilometres to stock up on essentials at the nearest shop. For reasons you couldn’t quite explain, you had an aversion against using magic and refused to cast any sort of spell for weeks on end.
Looking back at it now, you only recall climbing trees, laughing at Muggle TV shows, and the calm simplicity of that summer.
The quiet before the storm.
But with autumn came a shift, still caught up in trying to process the summer's passing. The government, led by Gojo’s father and surrounded by former Death Eaters, seized full power over the wizarding world. Suppression of wizards born to Muggle families accelerated. By winter, a season meant for warmth and celebration, the nightmare had taken a real form. Wizards from non-magical families were banned from Hogwarts, high-ranking positions were reassigned purely on bloodline, and even half-bloods like you were no longer safe. You truly began to grow worried for your best friend when letters informing her of her restrictions regarding usage of magic came to her house.
What made your cup of wrath spill was seeing Gojo Satoru on the front page of The Daily Prophet, crowned as the head of the primary magical law enforcement — seeing his lazy smirk in a moving photograph made you rip the paper into tiny bits. Of course he would be the one enforcing the oppression. However, anger wasn't the only sensation suffocating you. Whether you liked it or not, there was a major hint of disappointment as well, because for a godforsaken reason you wanted him to be different.
Shortly after New Year’s, a mysterious letter arrived, inviting you to an unknown address. You don’t know what compelled you to take the risk, but you went alone, unwilling to put Arabella in danger.
What awaited you there exceeded all expectation. It was Inez, a woman whose name was unfamiliar at the time but whose connection to your mother was undeniable. Both had once been members of the Starry Knights, the organization your mother led against conservative pure-bloods. Trust was slow to form, so you didn’t involve Arabella for a long while, only bringing her once suspicion had subsided.
By spring, the group had grown to over a dozen members. You all agreed it wouldn’t be fair to endanger Arabella’s parents, so you moved out of their house. The new headquarters became a house infested with magic, molding itself to your wishes. It could accommodate everyone, shifting location every few days to remain untraceable. Together, you strategised to restore rights to wizards born into Muggle families, planning missions to gather information.
The missions came quickly after that. Each one more dangerous than the last. You learned to move in shadows, to speak in code, to trust your instincts and the few people who’d proven themselves worthy of it. In the face of constant risk, bonds were forged. Not shallow alliances, but something far deeper. You relied on one another for survival, shared secrets in candlelight, laughed in order to keep each other sane. In the dark hallways of the house in between missions, small comforts turned into family.
And in that natural closeness, old flames began to stir. There were glances that lingered too long, touches that said more than words dared to. You can't say it's exactly love what you share with Devin, but the fact it's happening is achingly undeniable. Perhaps an affection born out of fear and adrenaline would be a better fit to describe what's going on.
You lived for the missions back then, pouring your entire life's purpose into them — intercepting Ministry communications, stealing information from Gojo’s networks, sabotaging shipments of mails, freeing wizards born into a human family from being sent to Azkaban and offering them a place in your group. Each success made Gojo's father's grip on the world tighten, article after article published about a mysterious organisation sabotaging the government filled the wizarding world.
But each failure came at a cost, you buried names as often as you celebrated them.
Everything was still going well though, almost too well. You began to believe that perhaps, finally, the darkness could be undone. But then came the mission that shattered everything. What began as a a quick extraction and a quiet escape turned into pure chaos. The air had been thick with the scent of smoke and charms when you saw them. Your mother and Gojo’s father, standing together in the wreckage like phantoms from a life you no longer claim.
Their faces were calm, untouched by the destruction around them as they grew used to that over the course of recent months. Nonetheless, it must have been a slap to their faces to see you out all people. Gojo's father portrayed a clear sign of disapproval, but he most definitely wasn't too taken back. Your mother’s voice was almost gentle when she spoke, pleading as she urged you to stop, to let it all go, to come home. And the older man with that same smug composure his son had perfected, echoed her words.
The words made your blood boil.
Years of grief, betrayal, and silence manifested into one reckless motion. You acted before thought could intervene — wand raised, voice trembling with fury. The spell leapt from you like lightning, bright and violent, aiming straight for his chest. He deflected it easily, smirk briefly fading as his own spell cracked through the air in reply. Sparks collided midair, painting the room in a blinding mixture of light streaks fighting for dominance.
And before you even realised what you were doing, the words of the unforgivable curse slipped from your lips. Avada Kedavra, raw and instinctive, an act born of rage and pain as well as too many sleepless nights.
The flash of green light illuminated your mother’s horrified face. And if Gojo’s father hadn’t moved, if he had hesitated for even a breath, he would be dead.
The silence that followed was defeating. You had crossed a line that could never be uncrossed, and for the first time in years, you saw the look in your mother’s eyes — not anger, not even disappointment, just fear.
You turned and ran for your life.
A spell screamed past your ear, close enough that you felt the heat of it fizzle past your hair. Another shattered against the stone wall beside you, showering you with dust and sparks and making you stumble. Your pulse thundered in your ears as you tore through the hallway, almost tripping on a broken tile. Every sound, every flicker of a spell flying past you could have been the death itself chasing you, targeting you.
You ducked behind a fallen beam, breath uneven to the point you forgot how to even breath manually, wand slick in your shaking hand. For a heartbeat, you hesitated out of shame.
What have you done?
Footsteps echoed closer, quickly reminding you there was no time left to think.
You gripped your wand tighter and forced yourself to focus, drawing every shred of strength you had left. You pictured the meeting point, the narrow alley beneath Blackfriars Bridge.
“Apparate,'' you mouthed shakily, sucking in a sharp dose of air.
Your world imploded then, pressure crushing your lungs as if being dragged through the eye of a storm. Wind roared in your ears while the colours of the world merged into a single, blinding streak — until you slammed into reality again with a defeating crack. You landed hard on wet cobblestone, the cold instantly biting into your palms and your knees. A smell coming from the river water attacked your nose immediately. For a moment, you couldn’t breathe nor move. You just laid there beneath the bridge, your body trembling from the force of both the Apparition and what you just endured.
Your chest was practically heaving, each breath shallow and uneven. You wanted to vomit, to rewind time back five minutes. To scrub that curse from your memory, from your soul. But there was no undoing it. The words had left your mouth, the spell had lived because of you and even though it hadn’t struck its target, it had left something rotten inside you. Meanwhile the city above you was quiet, untouched by the chaos unraveling in its hidden corners. You had escaped, but as the light coming from the lamps crept over the Thames, you felt no relief.
Only a hollow, sick dread.
After that, you relocated to the outskirts of London, dedicating yourself to fully live in the Muggle world in disguise, trying to blend in while keeping one eye on the upcoming war you are preparing to fight. As a result of your actions, there was no chance for you to safely continue to take upon missions.
Not when it's the Gojos primary focus to locate you and make you pay.
The marble floor of The Gringotts Bank gleams in polish beneath your shoes, every step echoes a little too loudly for your liking through the early morning hour. The Polyjuice Potion still burns faintly in your throat, its bitter aftertaste clinging to your tongue as you try to keep your breathing even. Your reflection in the glass door isn't your own, it's the face of Eleanor Dawlish. The right hand of Gojo's father who leads the secret agenda along with Gojo.
Someone powerful, someone the goblins would never dare to question. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.
Inside, the air is cold and still. Rows of goblins hunch over ledgers, their sharp eyes flicking up briefly as you pass. You force your chin higher, imitating the brisk confidence of a woman whose form you're wearing. Nonetheless, your pulse is thundering even under the illusion. It's quick, ringing in your ears as you attempt to portray the aloofness of the woman whose skin you're wearing — wondering if the sound in your ears alone could give you away.
Every shadow in the high-arched hall feels like a pair of eyes, scanning its prey and waiting to spring. Inside these walls, your real identity carries a price, a bounty fat enough to make even the not ill-fated look twice. But you can't be thinking about that now, you need to focus on the mission ahead of you.
It’s been so long since you’ve done that you’ve fallen out of it.
''Vault inspection,'' you speak, sliding the forged key across the counter, keeping your voice steady and monotone. The goblin’s eyes narrow into an emotion that's impossible to read. For one dreadful heartbeat, the disguise seems paper-thin. The potion might have changed your face, but it can't quiet the truth beneath your ribs.
You're a wanted wizard, walking straight into the dragon’s den.
Literally.
The goblin’s stare hold yours for a moment longer than necessary. His gaze is peculiar like he's boring straight to look through flesh and fabric all at once. His nostrils twitch as if sensing decievement, feeding into your paranoia. If the goblin so much as blinks the wrong way, if he senses who you truly are for whatever reason, you'd never make it to the vault and neither out.
''This way,'' he huffs out, climbing off his ridiculously tall chair. The moment stretching out between you felt like eternity.
You follow his footsteps without a second thought, grabbing the key from his table.
The marble hall behind you now filled with the rhythmic clack of his shoes on the stone along with yours. The further you go, the darker it becomes. Torches burn in iron sconces along the walls as you descend, their flames thin — doing little to illuminate the space properly.
Your pulse steadies, no longer making its presence known in your ears. You tell yourself that the worst part has come to an end. Now, just keep walking, don’t falter, don’t breathe too loud.
You pass other goblins along the way, bend over their scrolls, murmuring in low miserable tones. Some give you the time of their day by flickering their eyes up briefly, their orbs glittering like coins under torchlight. You make sure to carry yourself in a way you suppose someone of high rank would, finding yourself reminiscing and mimicking what Gojo used to do — chin high, shoulders square, a faint scowl of impatience carved onto a face that doesn't belong to you. Despite the calming of your heart, your palms are slick with anxious sweat, and beneath the woman's clothes, your entire body is dipped in chaos.
Every glance feels like a knife sliding in between your ribs.
The goblin leads you to an eerie-iron gate and snaps his fingers. The sound roams throughout the hollow space, chains uncoiling with a sound of serpents hissing, and the gate swings open to reveal a rail track plunging into darkness. The cart waits, a worn out thing of black metal.
You hesitate then, barely for a second before you climb in carefully.
''Keep your arms inside, no rocking to the side,'' the goblin instructs you with disinterest of someone who has said this thousand of times while he takes the front of the cart, gripping the controller. The metal on wheels jolts forward just then, causing your heart to nearly leap out of your chest.
The wind howls through the tunnel, sharp and cold enough to sting your eyes. The walls blur past you in streaks of passing abstract of bricks and darkness. Sparks fly from the rails as the cart manoeuvres around bends so hastily they seem impossible. Rustling of water rumbles somewhere in the dark, meanwhile, the goblin’s robes flap from the impact of the air into your face. Your clothes cling to your borrowed skin, silently thankful your hair is put up.
With each twist of the track, the Polyjuice churns in your gut — a reminder of the transformation back to your usual self is prickling faintly under the surface of your skin, like pins pressing from the inside out. You grasp the metal edge of the cart so hard your knuckles turn white, desperate to not let out a wince.
The cart screeches to a halt, spitting out another wave of flaring sparks that dimly lit the wall. You almost loose your balance as you step out of it, your breath hitching in the process.
You do your best not to think of the posters plastered across alleys, the ones bearing your real face, throughout the long walk down the endless hallway filled with humongous vaults.
“Vault six-hundred and thirteen,” the goblin points his finger to one of the doors, forcing your head to tilt in the direction. Before you rises the vault's door, ancient and carved with symbols that appear to have a life of their own in the faint light. Symbols with carved dragons intertwining across the metal, dragons whose eyes glitter with trace of gemstones.
''Your key, Madam Dawlish,'' the goblin breaks the silence yet again, his expression still just as unreadable.
Your hand finds it in the pocket of your skirt — that small heavy piece of metal tucked away. When you withdraw it, your fingers tremble. He takes it without a word and slides it into the lock, unsure whether he’s aware of your nervousness or not.
For a heartbeat, nothing happens. Then the symbols begin to twitch and turn, lines of light dance across the door like veins awakening after centuries of sleep. Deep inside, the mechanism shifts, unlocking with a simple click. The vault busts open, releasing a gust of dust and revealing the secrets locked behind it. A sliver of torchlight spills inside, reflecting golden attire of treasure that blinds you for a split second. Heaps of goods pile high, containing coins, goblets, jewelled daggers, and artefacts.
The Polyjuice flickers through you again — a faint twitch along your jaw, a tightening at the base of your throat. You can practically feel your time running out, minute by minute, slipping away like sand between fingers. The goblin glances at you, without a doubt sensing something off. You met his gaze with all the cold disdain you can muster.
You stand frozen at the threshold, chest tight, wishing this would already come to an end. Regardless of that, turning back right now isn't an option, not when you're so close to the map.
You step forward, crossing into the vault. The vault door seals behind you with a sound like thunder rolling through stone. It eventually ripples into silence, leaving you alone with in the dark. You instantly panic, reaching for your wand to charm at least a little bit of light while the weight of this woman's history heaves down on you in form of glittering piles around you.
For a moment, you just stand there. Breathing in the dusty air, head twitching into every direction. Light from your wand spilling across the chamber in pale stripes, catching flashes of unique metals.
The map of The Gojo Manor.
Not treasure, not artifacts — not the thousand temptations gleaming from every corner.
Just a single piece of parchment, you remind yourself.
You begin to move then, careful not to touch anything you don't have to. Gold coins shift softly under your feet, their clinks echoing like thousands of whispers. Your panic hasn't dissolved since you had entered the bank, not even here. If anything, it chokes you even harder now. Your face shifts again, earning a groan from you. This makes you reach into your purse, seizing the second dose of the PollyJuice, and pulling it out. The smell of it is nauseating, causing you to gag. Though you have no other option available beside pushing your pride aside and swallowing the rotten like liquid, its power shaping you back into a perfect state.
The vault sprawls deeper than you had expected. Past the piles of coin are shelves filled with folders, chests with gems seeping out of them, and relics. You stride pass a goblet that shimmers like quicksilver, a dagger whose blade seems to absorb the light from your wand, your steps guiding you from it rather swiftly.
“Focus,” you mutter under your nose, voice coming back to you in a whisper you don't recognise — the borrowed voice still foreign on your tongue.
Then, tucked between two stacks of ledgers bound in leather, you see it. A chest smaller than the rest, no larger than a shoebox. Its lid sealed with three separate locks. The first opens easily with a whispered Alohomora. The second as well yet the third one resists.
For a moment, doubt flutters in your stomach.
What if this won't budge?
What if you’ve come all this way, risked everything, for nothing?
But then the lock falls open with soft sound too.
Inside, nestled in a deep forest green silk, is not one parchment but two.
The first is unmistakable. Its edged are yellowed, folded in careful manner. The family crest at the top confirms it. Gojo Manor sprawled across the page in neat handwriting. A wave of relief surges through your blood system, you shove the map into your purse. Beneath it lies a smaller paper, sealed with wax so dark it’s almost black. No markings, no crest, no clue to its purpose. You lift it into the air carefully to examine it, the wax not tearing from the paper no matter how hard you try.
You stuff the second parchments into the purse too, tucking both of them away. The light coming from your wand jitters as your hand trembles. And in that moment, hidden in the dark, with a stolen face fading and lingering questions pressed your my chest, a realisation of something terrible crushes onto you. There must be something of great value sealed beneath the wax, and you know you aren't supposed to have it.
You don’t remember the journey back up.
The world is a blur of motion and noise, the rattle of the cart on iron rails, the cold wind cutting and slapping your face, the goblin’s indifferent muttering as you dance through the tunnel like a lightning bolt. Your hands won't stop trembling, even after retrieving the parchments from the vault.
Nonetheless, it's done.
The map is yours.
You made it.
The marble hall of Gringotts opens before you again, this time like a promise. It's bright, almost blinding and unreal after the darkness below. Each step you take towards the doors feels lighter, your breath calming down into a regular motion. The Polyjuice is fading, yes, but slowly now due to the second dose you gulped down inside the vault. Just a couple of more meters and you'll be outside. Simply another face in the crowd, another shadow lost in Diagon Alley.
Freedom.
You make it to the door, the morning light spilling across the space of the polished bank. As you reach for the handle, parchment stuffed tightly in your purse — a voice calls out the name that doesn't belong to you. The name of the woman you are pretending to be. It echoes down the marble hall. Too sharp, too loud. And yet, undoubtedly familiar. If it weren't for that, you doubt you'd register it.
Even though it had been nearly three years, three years of distance, of deliberate pretending his voice didn’t echo in the back of your mind when things got too quiet — you can still recognise it.
You had told yourself you were over it. Over what he did to you, over the mess you had been tangled in. But then fate, or whatever cruel greater force that likes to spite you, decided that today of all days, you’d see him again. Completely caught off guard.
You aren’t even yourself, not really. The Polyjuice shimmers its last traces of warmth through your veins. Still shaping your face, shifting your voice, erasing every trace of who you truly are as your eyes meet as you’re momentarily taken by the sight of him. It's ridiculous. He shouldn’t be here seeing you. Not with this face, this borrowed voice.
Hw shouldn’t be seeing you at all.
''Eleanor, you're here quite early, something urgent?'' Gojo says the name again, testing it like he doesn't believe it. Like he can taste the lie. However, this is most definitely your paranoia getting the better out of you yet again.
And in that instant, your pulse stutters the moment you look up. Not only due to being nervous. It's silly how one glance can undo every coherent thought in your head. The room tilts towards him, as if gravity itself had chosen a new center. The one person you sworn to work against, the one whose family you built an entire secret organisation to dismantle, the one you used to absentmindedly dream about when you should’ve been plotting his downfall back at Hogwarts, is standing here — eyes locked on you, or well, at Eleanor.
The faint scent of his cologne lingers in the air. Not sweet, not floral, something more fresh. It hits you as a memory, immediate and impossible to ignore. He still smells the same as he did in school.
''Vault inspection,'' you choke out, the sound of voice not your own. The grip you have on your purse becomes visibly tighter, poorly attempting to shove all of your inner emotions somewhere they can't reach you.
''Oh, that time of the month again huh? I thought you'd do it tomorrow like you said yesterday,'' his voice is calm like water on a summer day, strangely familiar yet so foreign. Your orbs flicker across his features, unable to stop yourself from doing so. He's the same as he always was and it fills you with dread, the fact it seems like nothing affected him at all while your whole life turned upside down. Yet here he is, flawless as ever. He towers over you impossibly, perhaps he has gained some inches and muscles as his frame is not as lean anymore. Dressed in the most presentable outfit consisting of crisp navy robes with subtle embroidering, a white shirt stretched over his muscles beneath, and a black slack pants. His white hair neatly combed, glistening with a trace of gel.
''Rather do it now than bother tomorrow. I had uh.. some time off,'' you swallow the lump in your throat, completely in the blind of how they usually interact so you give into your intuition.
''Is that so?'' Gojo lets out in amusement, cocking his head to the side a bit. He knows something's off, you can sense the shift in the atmosphere and the slight twitch of his brows.
Just then the potion surges in your veins, the tremor of change beginning in your fingertips again. You look over to your right, starring at your reflection in the polished glass door nearby. Your borrowed face flickers at the edges, needles pinching into your flesh.
Panic claws up your throat, because your time has run out, and there's no doubt he noticed the beginning of your transformation.
You turn before he can muster up something. At no cost can he see you for real. Your movements are not considered fast enough for running, nonetheless, it's clear you're bolting from the scene. Instantly, his presence follows you out, hurried footsteps chasing after yours. Gojo's voice calls out to you, ordering you to stop, but you manage to slip into the sea of bodies walking into all sorts of direction through the Diagon Alley. This is your only chance without drawing any more unwanted attention to yourself, to shake him off in the crowd. You push through the people without hesitation, mumbling small apologies as they turn to gaze at you in disapproval. But it doesn't matter, you're not thinking. You're acting purely on your survival instinct, frustrated that you're unable to simply cast a spell to get yourself out of this mess. You need to find a secured place off the main street, surge of fear squashing you at the though that you're going to be you in public.
Eventually, you abruptly take a turn into a small alley, hurriedly opening your purse to catch a grip on your wand. About to finally vanish from here. At this point, you're sure you shook him off in the crowd, though your hands are still trembling. Therefore, it’s incredibly difficult to retrieve the piece of wood from your purse.
Before you know it, your back is roughly pressed into a brick wall, the sharp edges digging into your skin even through the thick fabric of your coat. You blink your eyes open, shaken by the impact of the force he used against you.
''Think you can run from me?'' the white haired wizard mumbles with a blank expression, irritation bubbling inside of him as he moves the point of his wand to dig into the sensitive flesh of your neck, into the delicate place where your life pulses underneath. His other hand coming to press down onto your chest, making it significantly harder to breathe properly.
And then the real pain hits.
It begins behind your eyes as a sharp, blinding pressure. Like your skull is too small to contain you. Your vision blurs, leaving you only with the outline of Gojo and the colour of his hair. Heat rushes through your veins, it feels molten and violent. Your borrowed features ripple as if splitting your face open — skin tightening and bones shifting within your body, gasps falling from your mouth.
Whether you like it or not, Gojo's grip on you currently serves as pilar, which keeps you on your toes. Otherwise you'd probably stumble down to your knees due to the way your shoulders snap. Your eyes flutter shut in defeat, trying to put yourself together before he'll face the real you.
The final shift comes like the snap of a whip, your face falling back into its rightful shape.
The wizard's expression changes, recognition flaring through him first, then horror, then something colder.
Your disguise is gone. And one of your deepest, darkest scenarios has become a reality.
''Y/N?'' he mumbles under his nose, iridescent orbs widening with shock at the reveal of your true identity. The sound of your first name falling from his lips stirs something, you were never on first name basis. His eyes quietly flicker over the frame of your face while your features settle into your real appearance, the effects of the potion fully dissolving. Your expression remains neutral, his mirrors it but not with such precision as yours does. Being this incredibly close to him after everything strikes you in a way you haven't expected, not that you expected bumping into him at all.
''Are you crazy? Coming here with the reward hanging around your neck, you're one ticket away from Azkaban,'' his voice is still low, but not as strained as when he spoke your name aloud — as if to reassure himself you aren't such some sick and twisted creation of his consciousness. You can't bring yourself to answer him, not with so many emotions bubbling beneath your surface.
Not with so much remorse for what happened with his father.
''Talk to me goddamn it,'' Gojo curses, his expression breaking into something between a plea and a frown. He slowly pulls his wand from your neck, the pointy end no longer digging into the delicate skin of your neck, and softens the force with which he's pressing you into the brick wall.
''From beyond the grave, Gojo,''' is all you can manage, voice uneven due to you still trying to catch your breath from all the running and from processing. Your brows curled into a furrow, face blank otherwise.
''You haven't changed a bit, still so damn difficult,'' he utters in amusement, not capable of keeping it out of his voice. It's a habit with you at this point.
''Why did you come here? You must been out of your mind,'' his expression breaks into a serious one again, and seeing him from up this close makes you realise that you might've assumed the wrong thing. There's something different about him after all, yet it's hard to read him, because he obviously doesn't want you to. Still, the crease of the unknown in his expression betray the shift in him.
''I have to take you with me, I'm sure you understand,'' a mumble comes in addition, making your heart sink. He doesn't move despite his words, silently contemplating what to do as a next step.
''Why didn't you answer any of my letters?'' Gojo sighs out in surrender to his own nagging urge to ask. At that, your initial anger twists into pure confusion.
Letters? What letters?
Your lips part to answer, his question cracking you open. Unfortunately, before you can collect a coherent answer, another voice cuts through the air.
''Expelliarmus,'' the words rip from the throat of Devin who had just appeared, loud and furious. Magic surges before you're even finished with processing Gojo's question. One so simple, yet so deep. A streak of red light explodes from the tip of his wand, searing across the air in a sharp arc. It lits the entire alley in a crimson flash — bright enough to momentarily freeze you. The beam hits Gojo's hair wand midair with a sound like thunder snapping, instantly flying from his grip as he stumbles away from you. Just as baffled.
For a silent moment, no one moves. The scent of burned wood hangs in the air, red sparks still shimmering faintly along the floor where the spell had struck. Your entire body shakes, the aftershock buzzing through you, heart hammering in rhythm with the fading glow. And then you run into the direction of your saviour.
Your hand reaches out for Devin's without a second thought as he prepares to mouth the teleportation spell, and what occurs within the next fraction of a moment urges you to hold your breath. Gojo's back to his senses, wand too far for him to reach before you disappear. His mind is reckless, lacking in reasoning as his brain puts his feet to motion. The white haired wizard launches at you both, eyes finding yours admits the chaos.
✼pairing: hogwarts au - slytherin!gojo x ravenclaw!reader
✼summary: gojo satoru, the golden boy of a famous family lineage of wizards sets his sights on you, a half blood defying his pureblood morals. he makes it a goal in his life to make yours a living hell. years of endless pestering, teasing and rivalry stretching out between you. as time goes on, he finds himself thinking about you more than he isn’t while the world descends towards potential evil. he grows torn between his family’s beliefs and the forbidden ache tickling his chest whenever he sees you.
✼meaning: wonderwall - the person you cannot stop thinking about (song by oasis)
✼genre/tags: hogwarts au, female reader, strangers to enemies/sort of academic rivals to forbidden lovers, slow burn, angst, eventual smut, pining and yearning (mostly gojo), built up tension, teasing, bickering and pestering, jealousy, slightly spoiled gojo, obsessed and lovesick gojo, both are pretty oblivious to their feelings
✼warnings: discrimination, death, grief, shitty parents, light bullying, mentions of hook ups, sexual topics, family pressure and trauma, mentions of injuries and violence, degradation, mentions of political views, escalating political situation, lgbtq representation, cheating
✼word count: 10.4k
✼chapter: 9/?
a/n: what’s upp, it’s been forever and i’m so excited to share another chapter with you. i never realised how much i missed writing till i dived back into this story. it has such a special place in my heart and i can’t wait for you to see where it’s heading since this is the last chapter before a time skip. i managed to finally come up with something and i’m not too sure if it’s any good lmao. hopefully you’ll enjoy anyway.
buut how are we feeling about tay tay announcing another album and tsitp?:0
based on this // previous chapter // next chapter
˚⟡˖ ࣪: link to playlist
˚⟡˖ ࣪: link to vision-board
The rules were bad even before you broke into the headmaster’s office. Yet now, after your little act swarmed the school, it obviously resulted in an addition to those already dehumanising demands. Whispers echoed through corridors on your way to classes, small mumblings of speculation and spreading of your crimes. Though nobody exactly knew it was your doing, you couldn’t help to not feel guilty and responsible for how the situation has escalated.
These so called rules were usually issued as “Educational Decrees” by the headmaster, and they’re posted on the walls of the Great Hall. Serving as a reminder of the new age. Each time you pass by, new ones appear and every time it feels like a stab to your gut. Part of you can’t grasp how quickly things changed, and that the life you thought so fondly of has perished.
At the start, there only were a couple of the rules hanging on the wall. Nobody took them seriously. Until the new headmaster gather a meeting to inform all the students there would be consequences if one was to break either of them. To make sure things would go smoothly, he formed a squad of Slytherins, and he had given them one simple task — report everything suspicious. And so started the spiralling.
Many figured they could get away with breaking the rules, because the squad was consisting of other students only. And who in their right mind would snitch on their fellow classmates?
Well, they probably never properly interacted with the members of the Slytherin, because a complete opposite happened, and so the house earned itself far greater reputation of wrong doings as the school became a place to fear.
Firstly, the rules consisted of simple tasks, though it didn’t make them less dehumanising.
Decree No. 4 – banned all student organisations, including clubs, societies, and teams unless approved by the headmaster.
Decree No. 6 – allowed the headmaster to fire teachers.
Decree No. 8 – banned various behaviors such as laughing loudly, questioning authority, or wandering the corridors without good reason.
Decree No. 11 – prohibited students from gathering in groups of three or more.
Decree No. 16 – banned students from reading The Quibbler.
Then it came down to one which left most speechless.
Decree No. 31 - muggleborn students must have their wands confiscated outside of classes.
And those punishments for breaking any of the rules were far crueler than you’d imagine. You could be sent to detention, be banned from playing Quidditch, be forced to use the blood quill, or it could go as far as to getting expelled or sent to the ministry for questioning.
Plus, muggleborn students started disappearing only to be found later, stripped of their memory.
You knew then, your suspicions turned out to be correct — they’re truly after forcing wizards born into human families out. Not only from Hogwarts, but from the wizard world. In a subtle way so far.
However, that’s always how it starts.
It’s going to get so much worse.
And what for? To stop mixing? Love?
So in spite of your hazy promise to your mother, you did quite the opposite of what you’ve vowed to avoid, because the sight of her name on the stolen map riled you up beyond recognition, waking up ambers of betrayal to swell inside your ribcage. A string of something you can’t name snapped, causing unrepairable damage, and therefore forcing you to take action. You couldn’t stomach laying low, sitting around and silently observing while the situation took a turn for the worse. Each when it concerned your best friend, and even though you might be talking right now, she’s still special to you.
Laying low with everything that’s simply isn’t in your nature.
On a random morning you remembered that one time you stumbled upon that strange room — the Room of Requirement, though you had only guessed what it was then. You were strolling through an empty hallway from the library on the seventh floor, frustrated and exhausted from studying too much. And then suddenly, there it was. A door that hadn’t been there before, leading into a cozy, firelit space filled with old cushions and mismatched chairs. It was like the castle had read your thoughts. And perhaps it did.
That moment stayed with you. It felt like magic in its rawest form for a second before Gojo crashed it down with his presence. You don’t think he saw the door, otherwise he would’ve definitely asked.
And an idea bubbled up just that morning.
You began gathering a few younger students you trusted, ones who looked nervous when the new headmaster banned certain books and newspapers, or who whispered to each other when someone tried to shut a classmate for asking too many questions in class.
You’d meet in the Room of Requirement at odd hours, whenever the castle would let you in.
The room gave you exactly what you needed, just as it was meant to. Shelves full of books confiscated from the library, old Daily Prophets and The Quibbler rolled up in dusty piles, practice dummies for dueling, and even a chalkboard where you wrote down the spells you’d be practicing that week. You practiced defensive spells and shielding charms, and even debriefed what’s happening in the wizard world.
More and more people kept joining, until there was at least a dozen students from each house.
Arabella showed up eventually as well, along with the twins. And even though you still weren’t on talking terms, you made it work and their help with guiding the younger students was much appreciated.
The Silver Circle is what you ended up calling yourself.
And right now, you’re seated in the dinning hall at your house’s table. You’re deep in thought, thinking of ways to help the younger members with overcoming their fears and barriers when it came to casting spells. You’re so absorbed within yourself you don’t immediately notice a shadow lurking your way through the entirety of the dinning hall. You notice only when the white haired menace is standing right in front of you, hovering.
“This is not your table, Gojo,” your brows instantly furrow at the sight of him in his school robes which he’s wearing way more these past weeks, his white hair dazzling and smirk dashing as ever. You tighten your grip at the cutlery, plate untouched yet. It’s the first time you’re speaking to him since that peculiar night of you two sneaking through the dark halls of the castle under the same piece of clothing. The memory of his body brushing against yours still able to send a shiver down your spine.
“Just wanted to remind ya you’re the reason these rules are getting tougher and kids are getting in trouble,” he snickers innocently, pushing past his robes to swing his legs over the bench so he could sit down opposite you. He places his tray down, digging into his food while you blink at him, choking on your own words. There’s an unspoken tension with him sitting opposite you, the action feeling casual and carefree like you’ve been friends for years and it’s utterly normal.
“You literally helped me break in, you could’ve refused. Instead, you used your own will to take part, and I’m hundred percent sure this cloak of yours has nothing to do at school,” a scoff slips past your lips, eyes lowering down to stare at your place to put a stop to your wandering thoughts and quickened heartbeat.
“I don’t back down from fun,” you can practically hear the smugness in his voice while you move the food around on your plate, sensing people turning to look in your direction. You pick up a piece of vegetable with your fork, bringing it to your mouth and your gaze lifts. Your eyes immediately land on the patch lingering on the right side of his chest, reminding you he was one of the members of the Inquisitorial squad. Also known as Imprefects among the students, mocking the whole point.
“That’s why you became a snitch?” your eyes narrow at him, fingers pointing the fork at him and the patch.
“Hey, you’re hurting my feelings. I finally took upon being good, thought you’d be happy,” he pitches in, faux hurt lacing his tone.
“As if,” you let out a heavy breath, knowing his remark was sarcastic but you have no energy left in your body to pretend it doesn’t bother you the way it does.
“Ah, this might make me even happier,” he adds after a moment of just observing you, an amusing look painting his features as he drinks in your lack of defence.
“I don’t understand why you’re doing this, but I know you’re up to something and I’ll figure it out,” you keep pointing your fork at him, leaning slightly onto the table with your body in an attempt to appear more serious. As if to awaken some sort of anxiety in him, fully aware that’s not gonna happen anyway.
His face shifts with surprise, eyebrows arching and lips turning upwards. Just as you expected, he’s ready to mock you with humour. However, as he opens his mouth to speak he’s interrupted by a voice belonging to a girl who’s none other than his girlfriend.
“You coming?” a delicate hand sneaks up to his shoulder, your eyes flickering to the affectionate gesture before meeting her gaze — two emerald gems looking you up and down like a cat preparing to launch at its pray. You can’t help but feel small under her intimidating gaze, but you don’t budge or force yourself to greet her, knowing she wouldn’t bother to appreciate your kindness. Though it’s hard to focus on anything else when she burns holes through your body, her mouth quirking in disgust. And nothing in that very moment can stop you from rolling your eyes at her, shaking your head and digging into your food to appear busy even though your appetite is non existent for the past couple of days — not expecting any further conversation.
“Gotta get going, be good,” he winks at you from where he’s sitting, and the next second he’s moving away. Grabbing his half eaten tray with hand and his girlfriend with the other one.
You’re the last person in the Room of Requirement, everyone has left for bed. It’s late, way past your bedtime. You can already sense the ache in your bones which will turn into soreness by the morning, but it doesn’t stop you from moving the furniture into its place and wiping the chalk from the boards. Eager to prepare the room for the next meeting. You feel bad for leaving it messy, because there’s a strange pull you feel towards the room. You can’t help but feel like it’s alive, bubbling with its own mind and soul.
You sigh once everything seems to be completed, turning your head to take a last look at the room before heading out as well. The time you’ve spent in this particular room these past few weeks is ridiculous, by far more than your time anywhere else as you often stay behind, desperate to find ways to better the younger members, to protect them from the gathering evil. A fair part of the students come from muggle families which brings you to fight harder — your mind still spinning with the fact your mother’s name appeared on the map, mingling with the Gojo family. You have to figure it out, it truly seems like there’s one crucial piece missing in the whole puzzle.
You then proceed to turn to leave, picking up your wand and robe. As you near the exit, you pick up on a figure leaning against the wooden door staring right at you. He’s probably been here all this time, waiting for you to finish.
“Devin? You’re still here?” you question, a hint of surprise in your voice. You close the distance between you, staring into his amber orbs. Those eyes you used to pray would cherish you forever.
“Yeah, thought I’d wait to walk you to your dorm,” he shrugs nonchalantly, hiding his hands into the pockets of his pants. Uncertainty lingering in his voice, it’s clear he’s hesitant and trying to pick the right words to not cause any misinterpretation.
You haven’t spoken to him since the party either, and it partially feels like you’re living a completely different life. And you suppose you’re, it feels pretty lonely too. Arabella and the twins don’t talk to you, your mother keeps brushing you off with every idea you come to her with, and if she knew what you’re doing, she’d be livid that you’re foolish enough to put yourself into danger. Not to forget, your father is dead, and it’s been a while yet the wound keeps reopening. Time is stitching it up for you, however, you keep retouching the wound and causing the stitches to rip.
Strangely, the one solid thing in your life that hasn’t changed much is Gojo.
“I appreciate it, but I don’t need you looking out for me,” you huff out, but your voice isn’t holding any bite to it. It’s rather softened up by the long day of overworking yourself yet again.
“Some has to,” the corner of his mouth turns upward into a small smile, making you tense up as he keeps maintaining the eye contact. It’s sweet he has, though you overthink it and doubt it the more you dig into the hidden meaning — if there even is one.
“You don’t need to help me,” you shake your head, gesturing with your hands. Unable to push aside the nagging feeling that this’s wrong, you shouldn’t be talking to him for what he’s done to you. On the other hand, it’s been a long time and much has happened. People change, don’t they?
“I want to,” Devin states firmly, fishing something out of his pocket. A sandwich. You open your mouth to protest, to hush him for caring enough to bring you something. In the end, you don’t. He’s right, you’ve barely eaten since breakfast and your stomach is growling, forcing you to reach out your hand and take the food. You mumble a small thank you filled with sincere gratitude, unwrapping the foil and taking a bite instantly.
He used to this all the time when you were together, bringing you snacks and water to make sure you’re properly fed, because anyone who knew you would pick up on your bad habit of stressing when focused on a certain goal, and forgetting to fuel your body.
You munch on the sandwich and Devin laughs quietly under his breath before opening the door for you, letting you out into the dark hallway first. Once he slides out of the room as well and the door falls shut, the room itself disappears in the blink of an eye.
“Arabella and you still not talking?” Devins decides to break the silence, whispering a question while he remains on high alert for a sign of another presence, leaving you to enjoy your sandwich in peace.
“Not yet, how’d you know?” you mumble in between bites, heart beating a little faster due to the exposure in the hallways. The walks back to your room are always the worst part.
“Come on, I’m not blind. It’s tense between you,” he snickers, obviously hinting that it’s not hard for anyone to pick up on the change in your friendship. You were practically inseparable, therefore it’s hard to miss. And without addressing anything, the tension between you two is palpable.
“Right,” you sigh once more, nodding your head as you keep your sights glued to the remains of the sandwich.
“I’m not gonna ask what happened cause’ that’s none of my business really, but if you wish to speak about it then I’m all ears,” he offers with ease as he walks by your side, your bodies close enough to allow you to feel his warmth.
“It’s complicated, it involves the Slytherins,” you state the obvious, hoping he doesn’t press for more information.
“Ha, let me guess. The one and only golden boy, Gojo Satoru,” his voice takes on a bitter tone, the shift justified. Especially since the white haired menace became a imprefect, his streak of reports growing each passing day. And each morning you wake with a crippling anxiety that you’re gonna get called into headmaster’s office, that it’s gonna be you to make sure his streak lives through another day. All because of the damn cloak, and who knows — he could be sneaking nearby even now and you’d be totally unaware.
However, that day hasn’t come and you wonder why, or when it’ll.
“No surprises there, huh?” you allow yourself to relax next to him, hands mashing the foil from the sandwich into a small ball that you keep fidgeting with as you head on.
“I’ve got no clue what he’s done this time, but hopefully things will resolve between you and Arabella,” he says instead of trying to get more out of you, probably sensing your disconnect.
And you’re glad.
“Me too, too much is happening lately,” you agree, nodding your head.
“Mhm, I know. It’s sort of crazy we’re graduating in just handful of weeks though, isn’t it?” his words strike a soft spot, you’ve been too busy with The Silver Circle to even acknowledge these weeks are your last weeks at the castle till now. The school which shaped you, glued you together over your teenage years. The one which became your second home at one point. Your mother’s stories from her time at Hogwarts come rushing in, recalling the tenderness they were embroidered with. And it hits you, these moments of your life are about to become stories you’ll be telling on. The nostalgic ache your mother must have felt now suffocating you.
It’s strange how you went from talking about the future, wondering how your life would be after finishing school, and finding your place in the wizard world, to actually having to do so. You remember it all too well, the way you used to stride down the path around the castle down to the lake. Scarf wrapped around your neck to keep you warm, head and heart filled with countless scenarios of how life could be. You begin to think that maybe you took it for granted back then when you had all the time in the world, desperately wishing it away. It’s so silly, now you’d give anything for one more day when things were still so bright for you. You haven’t even left yet and Devin’s words awakened a dread of what will it be like.
So now, as you walk through the hallway, you do your best to take in the surrounding, because regardless of how ugly, meaningless, small or unconventionally important some parts of your life were here — it’ll forever be your home, sparkling with memories you’ve made along the way. It’ll hold the silhouettes of your youth, dozens of years later too.
“Mhhm, it went by too quickly,” you hum in agreement, hoping the shift in your thoughts isn’t as noticeable on your face nor in your voice as you think it is.
“Feels like yesterday when we were dancing at the Yule Ball,” he chimes in casually, causing you to freeze because this is exactly why there was tension in the first place. You were silently praying he wouldn’t bring this up, not with everything else going on.
“Yes, it does,” is all you bring yourself to say.
Truthfully, you don’t recall many details from the ball. At least not with Devin since you’ve worked so hard on moving on. The process made your brain shut down all of the nice moments with him. So the mention of it doesn’t hurt you any longer, the spot is now numb. However, you could even now recall how Gojo’s eyes stayed glued to you the entirety of the night, making you self conscious and nervous. It sends a shiver down your spine, even a mere memory of it.
“You looked very beautiful that night,”
“You’re beautiful,” he adds, softening up and peaking at you from the corner of his eye.
“Devin,” you say his name firmly as if to scold him for daring to speak such a thing, not aware of any other appropriate response.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry for both being a jerk and bringing it up again,” his hands shoot up in defence as you walk along side him, small laugh escaping his mouth as if to cover the fact he made things a tad more awkward now.
“I’m also sorry about that night at the party, I was drunk and seeing you there made my last bits of sanity slip out,” he continues, reminding you of the party. And you know he didn’t do it on purpose, he has no clue how much your life altered since then, it still proceeds to awaken a light bitterness.
“You hurt me,” you let yourself be vulnerable, fingers still playing with ball you made out of the foil.
“Back then, I mean,” you specify.
“And I hate myself for it, but you didn’t have to send Gojo at me,” his voice is serious and sincere until it reaches the second part of the sentence where it turns into more of a playful jab that makes you furrow your brows in pure confusion.
“What?” your head snaps to look at him, not quite sure why is Gojo being brought up.
“You know, he sort of targeted me on the field and beat me up in front of everyone,” he remains playful while you blink in surprise that he thinks you’ve somehow convinced the Slytherin’s menace to come to your rescue. So many questions pop up in your head.
Who in their right mind would think you’d go to him out of all people?
“Yeah, I remember very vividly. What I don’t understand is what I have to do with it,” your brows stay furrowed, suddenly feeling defensive for absolutely no reason.
“You didn’t send him at me?” he tilts his head to look at you as well, Devin now being the one who’s confused.
“I’m telling you I didn’t, why would I? He’s Gojo,” disbelief swallows you whole as you answer him.
“But that doesn’t make any sense, he kept mumbling something about you the whole time he was punching me,” your heart leaps in your chest. There’s no point in denying that you first initially thought Gojo’s outburst of anger on the field towards Devin had something to do with you, nonetheless, you quickly pushed the idea away when you confronted him and he once more reminded you just who he’s.
Was there a hidden motive to it after all?
“Are you sure you weren’t having a concussion?” you decide to not act on any of your inner thoughts by laughing at his words briefly.
“Pretty sure I heard him right. That was practically the whole reason I didn’t come near you until recently,” he insists, leaving you to wonder — your mind flashing to the interaction you had with him after the game, and how he brushed you off as if you were a nuisance.
“You got it all wrong,” you insist, regardless of your uncertainty.
“So all this time, you didn’t know?”
“No,” you mumble, not sounding as convincing as before. Thankfully Devin doesn’t question that.
Your conversation falls dead as you drift off to your own worlds, neither of you digging for more information. And you don’t mind. Actually, you prefer the silence which leaves you alone with your spiralling thoughts, making up all sorts of what ifs.
Eventually, you reach a crosswalk, meaning it’s time for your paths to part. You gratefully thank Devin for walking you, because even though you didn’t want it at first, it caused you to feel less anxious and on edge — not that you’d ever admit it aloud. And with that, you turn around on your heal to head for your secret passage that saves you a lot of time and trouble getting you to the common room.
“Y/N, wait up,” Devins calls out before you’re able to disappear behind the corner, urging you to stop in your tracks and to turn around.
“Would you perhaps consider going out this summer? You know, after the whole graduation thing is over,” there’s this awkward edge to him again and you can tell this is taking a lot out of him. That makes your heart swell up a bit, considering just how much he has changed over the past few years you haven’t really had the chance to speak.
“Purely as friends, of course,” Devin adds which puts you at ease, though it doesn’t entirely convinces you, but you cave in — not giving a full promise, but increasing his hopes nonetheless.
“I’ll consider,”
And he nods, pleased with getting you to at least think about it. It leaves you wondering as your steps lead you to your secret passage, a shimmer swirling through your stomach. A feeling all too familiar.
Is this feeling truly a rekindled flame from the past, or merely an old habit that refuses to die?
As you step out of your passage, the common room is mostly dark. The only light being the moonlight spilling from the high windows, and the embers in the fireplace still glowing faintly red. You tiptoe past the armchairs, careful not to knock into the low table where someone’s left a half-finished chess match. The dorm stairs creak in that particular way you always try to avoid as you clumsily stumble. You wince, pausing on the landing, but the room above is still.
When you carefully push the door to your room open, the space feels heavy. Almost like the last few weeks have seeped into the very walls. Moonlight cuts across the room in pale stripes, illuminating the shape of your best friend’s figure lying down, tucked beneath the duvets. She’s on her side, her eyes reflecting the light just enough to let you know she’s awake.
For a moment you just stand there like a thief caught in its act, regardless of the fact she’s a part of your grand secret. It’s the kind of moment where words seem like they’d clatter to the floor if you tried to speak them. So you don’t.
You look away first, slipping past to your own bed, the soft sound of your sheets the only thing in the silence between you. And even lying down on the bed with your eyes closed, you can still feel her eyes boring into your side profile.
“Sit?” a mere whisper rumbles through the space of your shared room, sheets rustling as her body moves into a sitting position. Your head turns to look at her, just in time to catch her hand patting the space beside her.
And you do as she asks you without any doubts or questioning, dipping the mattress of her bed with your weight.
There’s a pause long enough to make you think maybe you’ll sit there in silence, but then—
“I apologise—“
“I’m sorry for—“
You both start at the same time.
“You go first,” you mumble softly before Arabella has the chance to offer you the same, and to your surprise she only nods. Not trying to convince you to speak first as she normally would.
At first her words are careful, like she’s testing the waters. But then the words tumble, faster and faster, her voice unravelling everything she’s been carrying. She tells you about classes, who’s been asking after you, the stupid thing that happened in the library, how she sat through dinner alone the first night and absolutely hated it, how she thought you might hate her after the heated conversation. She describes the cold mornings and the times she nearly reached out, the things she saw and wanted to share but didn’t because you were fighting.
It’s messy. She jumps from one thing to the next without warning, circling back, doubling over herself like she’s afraid if she stops, the silence will swallow you both.
And underneath every word is that raw, aching truth of how terribly she’s missed you.
“I’m sorry for letting Margaret talk to you like that. I know damn well what you’re going through and I should’ve been there for you,” she sighs at last, the memory of that evening sending a chill down your spine. However, you’re grateful for Arabella taking your side.
“No, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter, I was the one who also could’ve avoid the misunderstanding if I had told you sooner,” you pitch in, admitting if both of you worked in a different way everything could’ve been different.
“We all make mistakes, lately we’ve been doing plenty of them, but I suppose that’s the growing up part,” her tone is still hesitant as there’s a hint of awkwardness between you two still.
“Don’t even speak of that,” you scoff, but there’s no bite in it. It’s rather playful and dismissive, reflecting the nostalgic feeling that has taken over you when you were talking walking with Devin.
Arabella seems to ease at your words.
“We’re good then? Oh, please say that we’re,” her tone rises with hope, and it’s not hard to depict the nervousness flowing in her expression.
“We indeed are, Arabella,” you nod with a fond smile and open your arms. She wastes no second in submerging herself in your embrace, and damn it feels good to be able to feel her warmth and smell her familiar scent.
“I want to come out clear on what more thing. Margaret, she doesn’t know about any of this. I haven’t spoken to her either,” she confesses.
“Ah, I’m sorry. I thought you had reconciled,” you mumble sincerely as you wished for things to be okay between them. However, with the current situation you’re not surprised.
“We haven’t and we might never,“
“I’m not sure it could ever work out for us again,”
“Let’s do no more of the Margaret and Gojo stuff,” she breathes out before you manage to put together a response. A small yet heavy breath escapes your mouth at her statement, as much as you’d like to agree and move on, there’s no chance.
“Eh, probably not yet,”
“What is it this time?” Arabella arches her brow, shoulders slumping.
And it all rushes out before you can organize it. You tell her about the party in the Slytherin common room, how you ducked into the wrong corridor as you were looking for her and the twins and accidentally overheard the golden boys of the house itself talking. The kind of things that made your skin prickle because they weren’t meant for your ears. You tell her how that night you couldn’t sleep, how you kept replaying every word, wondering if you’d imagined it. Wondering what kind of a plan they were talking about. How a fortnight ago you ended up, completely against your better judgment, teaming up with the person you swore to never trust. And how breaking into the Headmaster’s office with him under the invisibility cloak felt like walking a tightrope over an endless pit. How tense, dangerous, but weirdly exhilarating it was.
You describe the sweatiness of your palm as you held the doorknob in your hand, the dust in the lamplight, the ringing of your heart racing as you rifled through drawers looking for proof. You mention what you found — the crest, the folders, the banned books. It was all there, even her name. She had no idea what that meant. You bring up the map you took. And finally, the moment you almost got caught, the shadow chasing you through the hallway.
For an unknown reason, you don’t confine in her about how Gojo’s frame pressed against yours and how his hot breath fanned over the swell of your cheek. And certainly, you don’t dare to mention the moment sparked with tension when he caged you into the wall as you were being chased, too close for your liking.
Instead, you tell her about the nights after — the quiet, the constant looking over your shoulder. And how every time you thought about telling her, you convinced yourself it wasn’t safe. That maybe she’d think you’d gone completely mad.
And for the first time in weeks, you’re both looking right at each other. No wall between you.
“Say you’re kidding,” Arabella mumbles out of breath. Here she was thinking you were sulking, drowning in your own thoughts. Meanwhile you were actually behind the breaking into the headmaster’s office, aligning your path with the one on the opposite side of all of this.
“I wish I was,” you admit truthfully, sighing at how reckless your actions sound spoken aloud.
“I thought you were finished with him,” she chips in a moment later, looking at you suggestively.
“Look, it’s not my intention to get into these situations with him and it’s certainly not my fault he’s there at the most inconvenient times,” you defend yourself, your eyes avoiding hers because it’s there again. That strange heaviness weighting down on your chest as you speak about him, and you can’t bring yourself to face it or your friend.
“So you keep telling me,” she mumbles to which you remain silent, fingers fidgeting with her duvet covers.
“Can I see the map?” she asks carefully to divert the conversation away from the topic, and looks around your dorm room, guessing you must have hide it somewhere in there.
You nod without thinking, and head back to your bed where you drop to your knees. The old wood creaks under your weight. Your hand slides in beneath your bed, fingers tapping the wooden planks in search of the one. And when you find the hollowed space, you slide a nail under the corner and lift it to pry it open. You’ve done this countless of times so you do it with ease. However, when you reach inside your hand brushes only empty wood. No folded paper.
The map is gone.
For a moment, the silence presses in. You blink, head peaking in only to stare into an empty space as if the map might materialize if you look hard enough. But there’s nothing. Just an echo of absence where it should be, which causes a sharp prickle of dread crawl up your spine.
“It’s not here,” you mumble under your nose in disbelief, hand desperately mapping out the small space which was supposed to keep your secrets tucked safely away. You turn to look at Arabella and speak the words one more time, a bit louder.
“You sure you just didn’t put it somewhere else?” Arabella drops to her knees as well, ducking her head under your bed to look for herself. While you stare ahead, eyes tracing the moonlight window. Panic seizes your entire being, tons of scenarios spinning in your head — thinking you’re doomed.
“No, it was precisely here when I left,” your voice comes out a little strained.
“Who could’ve taken it?” Arabella questions as she now sits on her knees in front of you. And as your eyes bore into hers in the dark, it all clicks.
“The one person who saw me taking it,” you scoff, brows furrowing in the process as a crushing wave of wrath washes over you while you stare at the spot where the map once stayed hidden. And you know you have to seek him out yet again, tired of being tangled in this mess with him, but unable to let the things be the way they’re.
You keep your eyes primarily focused on Satoru Gojo the second half of the next day, not wanting to jump him randomly in a hallway, but not wanting him to slip away either. Especially not when he owns the invisibility cloak, or when he’s busy spying on the other students. So you patiently wait throughout the day, mixture of anger and anticipation rumbling within you and leaving you on edge. Your head somewhere else entirely, Arabella by your side who’s anxious about this whole confrontation a whole great deal than you’re.
As you watch him through the course of the day, you notice there’s something off about him. Something you’ve never picked up on, so you can’t tell if it’s a recent issue, or if it’s been there for a while now. It’s in the way he carries himself when he thinks no one is paying attention to him. And against all odds, it catches your attention and causes you to wonder if you’re the only one noticing. And when anyone approaches him, he’s back to being the him you and everybody else around knows him for.
His shoulders are slumped when he sits in potions class later in the day, seated in the right corner of your vision. He sits alone with a bored expression decorating his face, none of his partners in crime taking the same class. Perhaps a punishment for picking it all those years ago as a way of getting under your skin, fortunately for you it has backfired at him.
Though your brows furrow lightly in confusion as he rests his chin on his palm he’s propping up. He looks different. You can’t exactly point in which way. Your head tilts to his direction slightly in an attempt to figure out what it is. The voice of the professor standing in the front, rambling about ridiculously difficult mixtures, becoming muffled as your attention focuses elsewhere. Your eyes survey his entire frame, noticing the way his eyelids fight to stay open.
He suddenly picks up his quill pen, jaw clenching in the process. You absentmindedly pick up your pen as well, fiddling with it as your gaze remains fixed on him. Well, till he stretches his back and his orbs seem to catch you in your act of ogling him. You manage to capture the glint of surprise in his now gleaming eyes, nonetheless, you quickly turn your head back into place. Immediately feeling embarrassed due to being caught, which results in training your attention onto the professor for the rest of the lesson without any exception.
By the end of your fourty five minute torture, Gojo gathers his stuff and is the first one to leave. You nervously try to be as quick as possible in hopes of catching up to him, still a little flustered at the memory of your eyes meeting.
And as you run out into the hallway, you’re contemplating whether to do this or let it go for once. You shake your head to get rid of your doubts — and before you can change your mind, you call out his last name to grab his attention as you rush in his direction. Hand already fisting your pocket to pull out your wand. He stops at the sound of your voice and rushed steps, turning around to look at you.
“Geez, what’s got you in such a twist,” Gojo yelps out, clearly not expecting you to threaten him with your wand even though it’s more for effect than actual harm. He lifts his hands up in a surrounding gesture, the corner of your mouth lifting up slightly due to the fact you’ve managed to catch him off guard.
“You stole my map,” you huff out to address him, daring to poke his skin gently with the tip of your wand, not really digging into it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he flatters his eyelashes at you in an innocent way, pouting lightly.
“Don’t play dumb with me right now, I dare you,” your eyes roll in irritation at his stupid act.
“Could you perhaps lower your wand down? I appreciate your habit, but it’s making me all anxious,” he scoffs like dramatically, pushing your wand away with his hand. You don’t allow him to force it away though, you keep it outstretched in the air near his neck — eyes briefly flickering down to peak at the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.
You’re scared he might mention the accident of your eyes meeting, but to your relief, he doesn’t.
“I know you saw me take it,” you quickly compose yourself, scolding yourself innerly for letting your thoughts linger somewhere they shouldn’t.
“It’s not your map, it doesn’t belong to you,” the white haired menace finally seems to drop the act of playing coy, his face turning somewhat serious.
“It doesn’t belong to you either,” you point out the obvious.
“It does now,” he wiggles his brows down at you as you lower your wand, because you see no point in holding him accountable like that when he’s utterly shameless.
“I could go ahead and report you right now,” your brows fall into a serious tilt, not the same light way used in the years stretching out between you.
“What for?” you resist the urge to groan as he continues to play dumb with you, driving you insane as he dances around the elephant in the room, and you know he’s doing on purpose.
“I saw you at the tower with your father and my mother,” you specify anyway with a bitter undertone, the sight of your mother’s name on the extraordinary map still haunting you.
“What difference would it make if you did, precious?” he chuckles with a lazy grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, and you’d do anything to wipe it off — just for the sake of stopping him from calling you stupid names. His rhetorical questions stunts you though, what does he mean? Wouldn’t he get punished as anyone else would?
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” the Slytherin can read you like a book, guessing what’s running through your mind just about right. And his another statement grabs you by surprise too, as if you lagged in place. He knows about The Silver Circle, yet he hasn’t reported you.
Why? Is he waiting to use as the card up his sleeve?
“Didn’t your mother tell you to keep low profile anyway? Why don’t you ever listen, Y/N?” his voice drops, suddenly carefull to keep the conversation between you as other students start leaving the classroom.
“How do you-?” you’re unable to get all of your words out, frozen in place as he strikes up a soft spot yet again. You begin get sense of just how much he’s in this, and it terrifies you.
“Your mother didn’t care enough to share the details?” he’s towering over you, not only with his height but with everything he knows and you don’t.
“Explains a lot then,” he snicker playfully and then proceeds to turn around and walk away. His steps are slow, as if they’re inviting you to join him. You watch him rooted into place, his figure distancing from yours. Your brain doesn’t form a coherent thought until he disappears behind the corner.
You put your wand back into your pocket, breath shaky and uneven. The world outside is nothing but white when you dare to gaze out of the window. Winter was supposed to have loosened its grip weeks ago, but here it is again. Storm rolling in thick and merciless. The sun should be setting in gold, but instead its light is smothered by clouds. A dull, silvery glow bleeds through the storm, making the landscape look eerie.
You continue to stand there. Torn. To chase after him and get your answers, to step into whatever waits. Or stay, don’t follow.
And yet your chest tightens at the thought of letting him just go.
So the choice is clear.
You’re probably making a mistake and you know it as you begin to move, running after him. As you reach the corner, he’s already turning another one which makes you quicken your movements. You don’t know what you’re expecting, you have no clue what it is you want to get out of this. You simply follow.
At first, you wonder if he’s heading back to his common room and you’re only making a fool out of yourself. But yoy throw that thought out of a window when he turns left instead of right, the one and only thing waiting at the end of this particular hallway is the Astronomy tower.
It’s almost comical, all your paths lead you back there.
You’re practically behind him as he starts to climb the spiral staircase, the atmosphere turning chilly as you rise up. He doesn’t turn his head nor does he say anything, but there’s no doubt that he knows you’re a mere step behind.
When you reach the top, the air carries a biting chill that cuts sharper than expected for this time of year. Snow begins to fall down, flakes swirling and dancing like phantoms in the harsh wind. It’s not the kind of snow that settles quietly, instead, it stings your cheeks and your skin flushes raw from the cold as the wind howls. It tugs at your robes and your hair, the force of it chilling your bones. The sky is colourless, thick and grey — the setting sun not able to peak through. And the world below feels impossibly distant, blurred by the haze of the snowfall. Yet here, above it all, time seems to hold its breath as you await the unraveling.
And across from you, he stands as still as a statues that is about to crumble under time’s grasp. He’s close to the railing now, seemingly carved from the same winter that surrounds you. His hair is as pure and striking as always, carrying the same cold brilliance as the snow itself. It’s so bright it almost glows in the dull light. Those icy orbs lock onto yours, the luminous blue is the kind you could find yourself drowning in. He doesn’t look at you with anger, but something more guttural. It hums through his body like a ragging storm barely holding back, a tremble that isn’t fear or cold, but unspoken resignation. The wind catches his hair too, throwing it into his face, but he doesn’t move an inch. He simply burns his gaze into yours, drinking you in.
The snow thickens, heaving down onto you both as the wind blows it your way. And the stone beneath your boots becomes colder, slick with the whispers of snow.
“You know, you had me scared due to how clever you’re. I knew you were suspicious of me from the beginning and your eyes were peeled on me, I had to find something that would keep you occupied. So when the stag stumbled into my path, I took the chance and led you into a dead end,” the white haired Slytherin is the one to speak first, practically sensing the endless questions spinning in your head as you stand in silence with the wind blowing your hair.
“What are you saying?” you mumble out hesitantly because you don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but your heart is picking up at its pace.
“The tournament, the Death Eaters escaping from Azkaban, the other attacks, the new headmaster, and these short disappearances of students. Come on, you’re smarter than that,” it feels like a slap that disorients you and leaves a print on your cheek from how harsh it was. Your body reacts before your mind fully processes what has been said. Your stomach knots up violently as if it’s trying to reject the words you just heard, loathing your suspicions were probably correct. There’s a flush of cold that surges through your chest and it spreads quickly.
You don’t want to believe it just yet, he be must bluffing.
“Why help me to break into the headmaster’s office? Why tell me this then? Why bother?” you breath out in disbelief, sarcastic chuckle echoing through the wind. Stupidest part of you simply refuses, not wanting your suspicions to be truly confirmed.
“It was all an act,” the white haired wizard speaks without a pause this time, his words definite and firm as they trail off to probably think of how to elucidate further “I had to keep you busy, had to make you feel like you could trust me. Besides, I already knew what you were heading for in the office.”
“Your friend just appeared in the wrong place at the wrong time,” he adds with a little shrug as if she were a nuisance to be rid of. Your face goes numb at the realisation that he might have been the one to use the spell on her, blood pressure rises in your veins at the possibility.
“And as for why I’m telling you. You deserve to know what your mother has been hiding from you,” Gojo continues when he gathers that there isn’t any response incoming from you, that he has you utterly stunned. However, your face is blank with nothing written over it. Not even a crinkle he could depict to guess what you’re thinking. It doesn’t budge when he mentions your mother either. It’s like your mind has disconnected from your body, losing all will to portray any emotion.
You’re staring at him, but it’s as if you’re not really there anymore. The words replay in your head like a broken record, impossible to tune out. There’s a pounding in your chest that drowns out all other noises while the wind keeps painting your cheeks flushed. You nearly feel lightheaded.
“My mother would never hide anything from me,” your voice finally cuts through the colourless sky, choosing to trust your mother with no doubt in your tone, meanwhile your hands begin to tremble without you realizing. And it’s not due to the cold.
“Oh? But your sweet mother gave my father an unbreakable vow,” and even before he finishes, your head turns from right to left and back to reject what he has to say. Your mother would never switch sides, not when she married your father in the first place.
“I refuse to believe that, she’d have no absolute reason to do so,” your hands turn into fists, squeezing tightly till your knuckles become white by your sides. And for the first tike you’re conflicted whether to lift your wand at him in a serious manner for the first time in your life, but you can’t bring yourself to move to pull it out of your pocket.
“There are things she owns,” he quotes the words which seem to send you into a cardiac arrest. The words echo in your ears, you replay them to find a crack that could give you hope that this all a joke. But your gut already knows the truth, and it turns you sour. Nausea swirls through your stomach, an actual physical rejection of the emotional blow. Your mouth dries up, left speechless. And mentally, it’s even more shattering. You feel exposed and foolish. The person you trusted your entire life pulled off your one and only defence in front of the Slytherin you no longer recognise, and you’re left scrambling to make sense of a reality that changed due to a sentence.
“It all started with your father, the treatment didn’t find itself on its own. Hell, it was especially hard to find a specialist, but it doesn’t end there. No, that was simply the start,” an amusing edge is added to his voice as he speaks, and it’s unlike anything you’ve ever heard from him. It’s not carefree, nor playfully jabbing. It’s low, cold and distant.
“She got into contact with my mother, begging pathetically to lend her a helping her. Which certainly doesn’t come for free, not from my family,” he pauses then, looking over at you again, and there’s a glint in his eyes which dissolves a second later but you catch it.
“But your mother, she’s an interesting woman. No wonder she and my mother were such good friends back in their years, though I never would’ve guessed your mother was leading a secret organisation against my father’s movement while also depending on my family?”
“I gotta give it to her, playing two sides,” a malicious laugh fills your ears, and your grip in your fists tightens once more at that. You think of reaching for your wand yet again, still there’s no force strong enough to make your hands truly reach out.
“But she’s still a pureblood, regardless of her mistakes. So she was given a chance to do what’s right. And you’re going against her right now. Don’t think she was spared out of pity. She swore to leave the office, hand it to my father and never plan against any member of our family. She’s my father’s pet who has as much part in this as I do,” your stomach knots up in an agonising way and you can’t no longer keep up with the numb outlook you vowed to use as your facade to not give him the satisfaction of breaking you. However, the new information is too much for you to bear and the way it heaves down on you projects in your expression— softening up into what’s going on inside you.
“And as much as you dislike it, you can’t do anything. Otherwise, your mother is going to die,” Gojo reminds you of the part you’ve nearly forgot about. Once you give an unbreakable vow, you must live by it. If you don’t, the punishment is merciless. And who knows what exactly your mother willingly bounded herself to do.
“You-!” your crack, unable to finish your thought as you bend underneath his gaze, feeling how a burning sensation in the corners of your eyes is threatening to spill.
“You lied to me, you deceived me. And for what? Some sick plan to suppress the mixing of wizards and non wizards? To banish people born into human families from our world? Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds?” you don’t yell, but your voice isn’t at normal speaking rate either. It’s filled with countless cracks and shaky breaths in between words, blinking and fighting hard to keep the tears at bay as your expression hardens once more.
“It’s for the greater good,” the Slytherin answers nonchalantly, his voice sounding like a lullaby compared to yours. You scoff harshly, not entirely accepting his statements are coming from his right mind, and that they’re instead collision of what he’s been feed by his poisonous family.
“You don’t have to do this,” your last desperate resort is to convince him of having a way out of this. And you do believe he could find a way if he wanted you, that he could be good.
“You don’t know anything,” it’s he who shakes his head now in a slow motion, rejecting your suggestion, but you don’t cease at trying.
“You’re right, but it’s never too late,” you get lost in your own frustration, not caring how frustrated and desperate you might look.
“You’d be asking me to betray my blood, and we both know that’s never gonna happen,” his eyebrows twist with what almost looks like sorrow, the snowflakes falling down like pieces into place — making the scenery devastatingly beautiful, his haunting beauty twinkling like a jewel in a storm of frozen water.
“Besides, it is far too late,” Gojo speaks up hesitantly after letting out a puff of air, his hot breath visible. And as you’re about to protest, but he cuts you off as he continues.
“I had to take matters into my own hands,” he begins to rolls up the sleeve of his jumper with a kind of quiet finality. His movements are not rushed, they’re almost deliberate as though the act itself is a kind of surrender. His fingers tremble, but they don’t stop pushing the fabric until it bunches at his elbow, and then it’s there.
The mark.
The black serpent and skull, inked like it was burned into him, glints faintly in the cold light. It’s real. And it’s embroidered in his skin.
“No, you can’t be one of them,” you shake your head frantically as you whisper under your nose, a lump forming in your throat as your wide eyes look up to his face from where the mark is inked into his fair skin.
He doesn’t say anything at first. He just stands there with his sleeve rolled up, eyes staring you down with a kind of quiet challenge, or maybe regret. It’s hard to tell.
The wind howls louder. The snow keeps falling. And you remain frozen, both from the cold and the information. All the noise of the world is muffled under the weight of what you see in front and of you.
A second wave of disillusionment hits you, completely ending your innocence.
You’ve known him for years. Not as a friend, there’s always been space between you. A distance filled with sharp words, stolen glances, and the unspoken awareness of standing on opposite sides. But he was always there, orbiting your world like something inevitable. You never let yourself look too closely, never asked too many questions about the strange calm in his gaze or the way he always seemed to know more than he said. Maybe you should’ve, because everything was right under your nose.
You should feel anger, fear, repulsion.
Perhaps even pity.
However, what rises instead is something foreign, something tangled. A slow ache in your chest, like your heart is reacting to something your mind hasn’t caught up with yet. There’s a crack opening somewhere inside you, and it’s not just because of the mark.
It’s because it’s him.
Because you care. Somehow, against every reason, you always have. And now that care tastes like ashes.
You knew he wasn’t good, that he was wicked and tainted by the poison running through his family lineage. You saw all the horrible things he has done to people around you, you remember all the times he had made your life a living hell. And yet. Yet you hoped he wasn’t rotten at his core, all the times he showed you just how ordinary he could be running through your head. But seeing him in front you now, gripping his wand, erupts disgust and proper hatred tinged with a hint of wrenching disappointment within your being — the opinion and partial trust you had for him shattering into tons of tiny pieces, something that can never be put back together. At least not entirely.
A gleam in your eyes perishes, leaving your expression uncharacteristically cold and empty. You should’ve know this was coming, and perhaps you did. Safe to say hope is a dangerous thing, and there’s no logical way to explain why your chest physically hurts as if someone was pulling on your heartstrings.
Still, he doesn’t look away. And neither do you.
What pulls you out of the trance is a sound of footsteps against the stone floor coming from behind you. Your head snaps in the direction instantly, and as you’re met with the sight of his father — a crippling sense of animalistic fear dismembers you. The fact he was possibly lurking in the shadows all this time to listen to your conversation makes your skin crawl. His father doesn’t speak, both of you silently recognising one another. He stops by the side of his son, the image of them now standing side to side making your senses spin.
The rumours about their family, they’re all true. There’s no doubt his father is marked as well beneath the fabric of his fine tailored coat. It wouldn’t surprise you if your mother’s best friend from Hogwarts, Gojo’s mother was one of them too.
“Don’t get in our way again,” the boy you thought you knew spits out, pointing his wand at you for the first time since you’ve come to meet him. A threat posing in his expression, and you know this isn’t a joke. The grip he has on the small piece of wood causes you to lightly flinch and take a step back, because it truly looks like he’s about to cast a spell at you.
“Come on, let’s go,” your mother’s voice rings from behind you, meaning she had to arrive with Gojo’s father. You recognise her voice immediately, but it only serves to crush your heart into a mosaic. Your eyes stay highly focused on the white haired wizard who’s still aiming at you, strands of wet hair tangling in the air and slapping you straight into your face, not that you could be bothered enough to push them out of your eyesight.
Your lips turn downward in disgust and that’s when you can move after what feels like eternity, feet taking you straight to the curved staircase of the Astronomy Tower. Your pace is fast, skimming down step after step with your eyes glued down to not trip due to how dizzy you’re. You hear your mother’s voice calling out your name, begging you to slow down and let her elucidate the situation. Nonetheless, you don’t have it in you to face her. To look into her face, to allow her to see you so broken. Therefore you keep up with your pace, now strolling through the hallways to your room.
You quicken your steps, the echo of your name left unrecognised by you as there’s nothing beside the ringing in your ears and a lump in your throat which threatens to break. You pick up your robes and run, hot, heavy and wet tears streaming down the swell of your cheeks — staining you and wrenching you utterly.
With that you disappear into the drapes of the night, leaving your mother to deal with it on your own. You don’t look back at her over your shoulder, and you’re not sorry.
Your mother doesn’t chase you by that point.
And as for Satoru Gojo.
He never sought after being marked by the sigil depicting evil. However, the course of his sailing shifted towards his inescapable fate, almost involuntarily. And it’s far too late to turn away from it, because once you dip your feet into these waters you can’t never get fully clean again. His feet are in too deep now, the mark bounding him to it for evermore and forbidding him to ever pick a different path. He’ll forever be defined by it, regardless of how many years are to come or how many good deed he has yet to preform — the mark will undoubtedly erase or corrupt each step, sending him three back.
And he himself is slowly coming to face the consequences of his decisions, that look in your face awakening a sense of unbearable reeling. And for the first time in his life, he felt a twinge of true regret.
➷summary: a princess betrothed to a roman emperor whom she despises for his cruelty, sets her sights upon an ethereal looking arrival into the arena and is struck with an overpowering curiosity. the gladiator’s skilfulness earns him the emperor’s favour, keeping him alive for now, while the princess sneaks through the silence of the night to meet with him in secret — blooming with something the emperor could never bring to life
➷genre/tags: gladiator au, forbidden romance, sneaking in the night, historical au, the roman empire, strangers to lovers, female princess reader, gladiator gojo, smut (in the second part), angst with a happy ending, bit of fluff, smitten gojo, lots of yearning
➷warnings: implied misogyny and sexual harassment, description of violence and injuries/death, mentions of blood and vital organs, weapons, reader called princess a lot (cause she’s one, like literally)
➷word count: 11.3k
a/n: hello lovelies, it’s been so long since i last posted! i am genuinely finding myself in the biggest writer slump i’ve ever experienced, hopefully that’s past me now. here’s the promised gladiator au. in the end I decided to separate it into two parts, otherwise it’d be way too long and i doubt that anyone would actually read it. be sure to let me know if you’d also like the second part as well. no more yapping, enjoy!
The Colosseum is filled to the brim with people, standing and cheering loudly as the fight unfolds in front of them right down in the arena. The sun rays down at the circle shaped creation with no mercy, its strength wearing you down. Eager and bloodthirsty roars echo through your ears as swords clash, the sound of metal blended with the overwhelming buzzing of people. You fight the disgust lacing into your features as you sit in the area reserved for royalty, seated inches behind the emperor himself as his bride to be. Your fingers grip onto the handles of your seat, causing the gold jewellery you’re draped in to shackle. You blink, and blood seems to gush out, spilling on the ground due to the merciless slash of a sword blownwed by the winner — piercing through the flesh of the loser. Screams pinch through the air, earning frantic chants from the audience.
The sight hurls your insides, causing a nauseous feeling to take over you as the intestines of the fighter flee out of his dismembered body, falling to the ground without any trace of life. Even more aversion swallows you as you catch the grin tugging at the ruler’s lips from your angle. He’s quick to stand up and clap, the whole arena dying down into pure silence in response.
“You have fought well my champion, though today’s fight is not yet to be finished,” his deep voice spills through the Colosseum, the audience remains quiet as you continue to be on the edge in your seat.
“Rise,” the Emperor tilts his head in your direction, commanding you. You don’t dare to defy him in any slightest as you know any of your slip up could resolve in one of his episodes. You delicately lift your body from the wooden throne, quick to close the distance between you, and to step under the weight of the burning sun which paints the sand floor in golden fury. You create a shield with your palm, blinking away the sunlight before locking your gaze with the man you’re promised to.
The man’s hand sneaks around your waist, bringing your side to his. Your hands fly out to rest at the railing made out of stone, feeling a piece of security. The emperor looks down at you with a twisted smile, deliberately crafted golden crown consisting of laurels resting at the top of his head.
“Bring out the prisoners,” his other hand gripping a golden cup is lifted into the air, a gesture of bidding. As soon as he speaks those words out, large gate opens up. The guards push dozen of men inside the arena — their hands buckled together in one iron chain, bringing their rate of survival against the champion to absolute zero. With spears pointed at their figures, they have no other option than to step on the battlefield under the eyes of hundreds.
Most importantly, the emperor himself.
“My lord, you are going to have them fight in chains?” your soft voice breaks out into the open, questioning the outlook of the situation. The men are offered a weapon against all odds, but being connected to one another is seemingly putting all of them into a disadvantage. From their filthy and bruised appearance it’s clear these men are mere prisoners or slaves. Trapped souls dragged into the arena, not as warriors but as bait for the amusement of the citizens.
“Yes, is it not exciting? It is all for you, my future bride,” from the tone of his voice it’s absolutely clear this man who is yet to be your husband is serious, assuming he’s pleasing you with this dehumanising act. It awakes a terrifying and electrifying wave of anxiety within you. The emperor is known for his cruel ruling and rational punishments, regardless of it, it never ceases to shock you just how merciless he can be.
You don’t protest, only smiling at him and moving your hand to rest at his chest in gratitude. All of it a scene, an act you feel you’re bound to preform in exchange for your safety. You have no power to do anything but watch, your eyes squinting upward at the sea of spectators before falling on the muscular figure standing across the arena in chains. The champion covered in bronzed armor that glimmers with polish, he stands with the casual grace of a justified killer. He’s armed with a simple curved blade which is still dipped in blood from its previous encounter, and a round shield, bearing the imperial crest. The champion is a living legend among the audience — undefeated and unscathed.
They chant the name of the gladiator as if it’s a sacred prayer to the gods.
It sickens you.
The dozen men murmur among themselves, panic rising in their expressions as they throw their sword from hand to hand. A nervous gesture signalling their rising worries as the undefeated gladiator makes his way towards them.
“We cannot fight him head-on. But if we use the chain together as our weapon, then we might have a chance,” a man placed at the end of the chain mumbles to the other men, but panic has already taken its hold. A few men scream and rush forward, dragging the rest behind them. The chain becomes chaos, jerking bodies in every direction and dragging some of them to the ground while The champion moves.
He’s swift, a blur of lightning speed as there’s no baggage holding him back.
The first man falls, his chest opened with a single slash of metal. Another tries to keep away, unfortunately he’s yanked back by the chain, straight into the champion’s killing stroke — keeping his streak of robbed lives. A third decapitates himself by bringing the weapon to his throat, ending his misery before he’s killed by the hands of others. Blood paints the sand, pooling on the floor. The survivors stumble back, heaving with eyes wide open as sweat drenches their bodies and are left bereft of oxygen. Four lie dead now, perhaps five. It’s hard to keep a track.
The crowd is screaming, drunk on the violence and the man who spoke before forces himself between the others, grabbing the chain and snarling something which goes unheard by the audience. Leaving you to guess whenever they listen or lead themselves towards death.
And indeed, they hear him. Out of fear, if nothing else.
A man with unusual ball of white hair directs them to move in a circle, to feint and pull in coordinated tugs. They spread out, using their own bindings as both weapon and trap. When the champion charges, confident. They act. One man dives in sacrifice, drawing the champion’s first swing. Another yanks the chain, unbalancing the warrior.
Like a tide, they shift, loop, and bind.
In moments, the champion is tangled into the chains with no room to move his body, imprisoned just like them.
Without a scratch, not hurt, but humiliated and bested.
The crowd holds its breath. The emperor whose face is painted with neutral expression as he stands beside you, raises a hand to give his final judgment.
His thumb points downward.
Death.
The champion’s eyes shift into utter panic, unable to move.
“Kill the man, drive a blade through his throat and you may live another day,” The emperor calls out to the six men who survived the bloodbath. Your head jerks towards him, brows lifted in surprise at the punishment to his favoured champion. The man captured by the chained prisoners breathes hard, unable to mask his fear.
“Your majesty, with all due respect, spare the man’s life,” you wrap your arms around his bare biceps, closing the distance between you before anyone else can interfere to kill.
“What was that, princess?” his cold gaze falls down at you and you tense up with a swirling cannibalistic terror that you might have overstepped your set limits.
“He is your champion, let him have at least a gracious death,” you modify your words, offering a kind hint of a smile in contrast to his calculation gaze.
The crowd awaits his answer in silence, your words not audible to any one else.
“You are quite right, dear,” his palm pats your shoulders, his proximity distancing and you loosen up in quiet relief. From both his words and his action of leaving your personal space.
“You,” the emperor’s finger points down at the man who strategically brought his champion to defeat “you will face the champion one on one. Battle for either life or death,”
Not exactly what you had in mind when you pleaded for the man’s life to be spared.
Your gaze follows the direction of his finger, landing on the clever prisoner who saved five other lives along with his own. The man’s hair is coloured pure white, the exact shade of your delicate tunic — unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. His features are quite a mess from the distance you’re facing him, the details tucked away. The blinding white of his locks and a reflection of his iridescent eyes are the only two things to be mapped out.
“I do not kill for amusement, your highness,” the prisoner is fast to decline, bowing down to his knee. The other men mimicking his motion, which only appears to anger the ruler further. You stand unmoving, frozen in fear of what’s coming.
“You are brave to defy my orders,”
“Do it, or else you and your men are doomed for the same fate,” the madman demands with a crazed smirk, turning his gaze to glance at you briefly. From below, the victorious prisoner looks up towards the royal box as the emperor announces his decision, breathing heavily with sweat and blood running down his face. His eyes dart to you standing next to him, noticing you for the first time. Seeing you look down at him, the man's exhausted gaze meets yours fleetingly, but his attention is quickly called back to your soon to be husband.
“As you wish, your highness,”
He has no other choice but to fight.
The sun blazes higher than moments ago as it reaches its highest peak, casting long shadows of the Colosseum. The crowd roars once more like a tidal wave of bloodlust and anticipation. At one side stands Valerian, the undefeated champion who’s been gifted a second chance, armour glinting like a god’s wrath in the sweltering weather, though there’s a certain hesitation in his movements now.
At the other side stands the white haired prisoner— no title, no name, no armor, just chains recently broken and scars scattered across his body. The crowd jeers, expecting slaughter. But there's something in his eyes — calm like the sea before a storm, it creates a pit in your stomach.
The horn rings and Valerian moves forward like a warhorse, his massive blade cutting through the air. The unknown white haired man dodges with impossible grace, grabbing a fallen shield from the sand, and ducking under the swing. The wind coming from the blow nearly taking his head.
He answers with a broken spear, driving it into Valerian’s knee.
Gasps echo through the arena, painting an amusing grin on the emperor’s lips as the giant falters.
From now on it’s a dance — brutal and desperate. Valerian attacks with the fury of a man defending his honour, but the unfamiliar prisoner slips through his reach again and again, turning every mistake into an advantage. He moves like a ghost with precise strike.
Another drops of blood stain the sand, leaving marks of the battle.
The prisoner’s shoulder is cut.
Valerian’s leg wobbles.
They circle around each other, crowd no longer cheering as the fight leaves them breathless.
Then, in a haze of a motion, the prisoner feints left, ducking from a wide swing. Only to drive a dagger which was stolen mid-fight into Valerian’s side. The champion instantly drops to his knees, meeting the gaze of his opponent one last time before collapsing to the ground like a house of cards, unmoving. The arena erupts while the bloodied prisoner stands and towers over the champion’s dead body, collecting himself from the overwhelming adrenaline of the fight.
“What do you think of him, my dearest?” it pulls you of the awing trance, sending you back to present. Not knowing whenever you should be disgusted or pleased with how the fight had turned out. Your hands soothe down your tunic, eyes fleeting between the victor and the man you’re betrothed to.
“He has proven himself worthy,” you shakily breathe out near the shell of his ear, orbs still unknowingly flickering down to sneak glances at the extraordinarily looking man with fur of white hair. Meanwhile you’re held by the one who’s been letting the empire to starve and suffer under his reign.
One thumb pointed up, mercy.
The marble halls of the palace glisten under torchlight. Silent and still as though the night itself holds its breath at your bravery. Somewhere beyond the columns and guarded doors, Rome sleeps — drunk on the violence performed in the arena earlier that day.
You move like a shadow. A princess, betrothed to an emperor you neither love nor trust, slipping through a hidden passage behind your chamber’s tapestry. Feet tapping against cold stone. A hood drawn over your head to conceal your face as a secret from passersby, draped in your silken robes.
Every creak of wood, every echo of footsteps sets your heart pounding incredibly fast in your ribcage. The guard’s numbers are smaller at this hour, their concentration dulled by routine and drinking too much wine throughout the day. You time your movements with the changing of the watch, slipping behind statues, darting through moonlit courtyards, where a loyal servant from your home waits at a forgotten gate meant for deliveries, holding a satchel and a stolen dagger.
Your eyes meet briefly, both of you know what’s at stake if your soon to be husband was to find out about your whereabouts.
He’d have your head.
You carefully step out into the open, beneath the night sky that belongs to no ruler. The city looms ahead. The streets dangerous, filthy and still alive. You inhale its scent which consists of smoke and liquor. Behind you, the palace glows like a gilded cage. A cage where you’ll harbour by the end of the night anyway.
You don’t look back again, despite the guilt and fright nibbling at you.
As you stroll through the alleys of the city that’s drifting off to sleep, you no longer feel like a locked up princess who’s been sent off into enemy territory to play out a pack of marriage to attempt for peace.
The Colosseum spreads out before you, vast and silent beneath the cloak of the night sky decorated with small lights of the stars — towering arches of the architectonic building looming like a massive beast, the roar of the crowd now just a ghost echo in the stone. You approach it with no hesitation, heading for a narrow side gate. One not meant for nobles like yourself, but for the lowest layers of the society.
A man scouts the entrance. Old, bend, one eye milky with age. He doesn’t speak and neither do you. He simply nods and lifts the iron latch with a screeching sound. A debt repaid, nothing more. One’s coins you never deemed to recollect til now.
Inside, the air shifts as you descend underneath the huge arena. It’s surprisingly cold and damp, your silky robe not providing enough of warmth. The flicker of torches guides you down the narrow stone stairs, the further you go, the more of death hangs in the air. You move quietly like a mouse through the corridors, hood drown low to keep your identity a secret, robes brushing the filthy floor. The cells appear, row opposite to another row, dark iron bars separating men from the world above and from each other. Some sleep. Others sit in silence, eyes distant. Barely acknowledging your wandering gaze. Your attention peaks all over the place, glancing in all directions to not miss the glimpse of white hair.
You have no idea what force urged you to hurry down here, risking your life for a stranger — as if the gods poisoned you, rushing you in here.
You freeze in motion.
He sits before you like a god carved from war itself. The torchlight dances across his skin which is faintly burned by the overwhelming force of the sun, tracing outlines of his defined muscles. His chest rises and falls with a slow, steady rhythm, broad and unyielding. You could see the trail of old battles on him, pale scars that curl across his shoulders, a jagged line down his side.
They should repell you.
They don’t.
There he sits in the shadows, head of white hair bowed, arms resting on his knees. No chains this time, but he’s caged nonetheless. You clear your throat, gentle enough to not scare him, and it works like a charm. He instantly snaps his gaze in your direction, straightening his posture — arms hang heavy at his sides now, thick with strength, veins popping like vines winding over stone. Even at rest, there was a quiet violence to him, mixed with ethereal features of those worthy of being a prince. You had seen marble statues with less perfection, but none with heat of a real man.
“Who is there?” he asks, his voice a low growl as he tries to make out your figure in the darkness which perfectly helps you mask your identity as well.
“It matters not,” you respond firmly in the dark, keeping a reasonable distance between you and the bars. Partially out of fear, who knows what else he’s capable of after what you saw in the arena. The newly crowned gladiator looks at you, his expression guarded with suspicion but also curiosity. A scoff escapes past his lips.
“You are hurt, are you not?” worry embodies your tone, not sure why as this is the first time you’re ever directly speaking to the gladiator.
“What is it to you?”he mumbles, sounding tough and unaffected by your mysterious presence. The man's hand moves to his upper body, carefully touching the slashed area of his shoulder, and wincing slightly at the lightest of touch.
“Nothing. Still, takes this,” you mumble with all the politeness you were raised to offer, regardless of the strange circumstances you’re finding yourself in and bend down to slide a numbing cream in between the bars. In a quick motion, not wanting to risk anything.
“It is a numbing cream, for your slash,” the gladiator gazes up at you with narrowed eyes after he scans the cream, a mix of confusion painting his face. He reaches out for the box you slid in, only then noticing the intensity of his penetrating orbs. The colour of them is darkened by the dim lighting, nevertheless, they still shine like they’re crashing waves of sea water splashing against the rocks at shore.
“How did you get your hands on this?” he questions gruffly, though there's a note of gratitude in his voice, while he looks between the cream in his hand and your cloaked presence.
“That is unimportant,” you breathe out softly, swinging your hand in the air to brush it off. You tug your hood lower as you feel it sliding upwards, revealing parts of you.
“If you are not here to mock me, what for then?”he utters neutrally, his voice less rough than the first time. His hand hesitates for a moment, dipping his fingers to gather the cream so he can apply it on his injured shoulder. He’s wincing lowly as soon as the cool substance touches his raw wound. A soft sigh follows, his nostrils flaring.
“To help you, I know it is something you are not used to. I simply thought you fought well,” you mumble back with a hint of nervousness, hands soothing down your silky robes — the hems layered with dirt from your outing. The white haired gladiator listens to your words, his expression hardening at the mention of his performance in the arena. His digits finish massaging the cream into his injury, treating it.
“I fought well, so what? Not that it matters. I will just have to fight again tomorrow, and the day after, and then the day after,” he rises to his feet, startling you a little with the swiftness of his movement. You retrieve a step, tilting your head up to somehow catch a glimpse of him — the hood blocking your view.
“You fought unlike anyone I have ever seen before. I am sure you will earn your place here. Temporarily, of course, before you are freed,” you whisper into the dead of the night while his hands reach for the bars, knuckles turning white from his tight grip. It makes you swallow a lump forming in your throat, this is probably the longest you’ve ever talked to a man alone. It doesn’t help he’s practically stripped of his garments, muscular chest to your display.
And most of all, he’s a vicious killer.
“Freed? You either must be delusional or naive if you think that will happen,” the gladiator can't help but snort at your words as he retorts, skepticism returning to paint his sharply defined features. Desperately trying to see past the hood covering your face.
“You simply have to be good, keep winning and charm the audience,” you advise him with all you’ve come to know over the months you spent here, even though he seems to find your behaviour naive. He falls silent at your statement, contemplating your advice.
“And how do you know that, huh?” he hums, still wary — letting out a long sigh and leaning against the chilly wall of the cell, gaze fixated on your masked figure.
“I have lived in city for a long time to see,” what you say is not hundred percent right, however, your time spent in the city is great enough to know how things work around here.
“Why not stop walking around the bush and tell me who you are?” he leans forward into the bars again while still fixating his somewhat cold orbs at you, demanding to drop the mysterious act.
“Trust me, it is safer for you if you remain unaware of my identity,” you chuckle quietly to yourself at his pressing demand, finding his presence shockingly welcoming. The gladiator listens to your words, his expression hardening at your chuckle. He lets out a low huff of annoyance, but curiosity pierces his system.
Just who exactly are you?
“You someone of importance? Someone with power?” he goes on, pushing you to give him answers.
“No one has power in city expect for the emperor,” you frown automatically at the harsh reality of being in the hands of someone so cruel. His expression mirrors yours, your truthful declaration resigning with him.
“You got a point there, mysterious stranger,” he mutters, his hand mindlessly touching his shoulder where the injury is. As if out of habit. There's a moment of silence between the two of you in which you step closer, hand reaching for the bar — your gold ring illuminated by the moonlight revealed to him, unbeknownst to you.
“I will bring you food the tomorrow, if you live, that is,” his eyes linger on the gleaming gold of your ring, processing your words, expression conflicted. Part of him wants to know more about you, to uncover the mystery that shrouds you, but he also understands your sense for secrecy.
“Alright," he finally responds, his voice gruff but with a hint of resignation.
“What is your name?” you keep standing by the cell, less afraid of what he’s to do. Curiosity gets the better out of you and since you’re half hidden in the safe embrace of your robes and hood, you ask. Otherwise you wouldn’t be as brave.
“Two can play the game,” he curves his lips into a lazy grin, huffing out and refusing to provide you with it.
“See you tomorrow, oh saviour,”
Days stretch out into weeks and each night, you slip past the velvet-draped guards and silent marble corridors due to the help of your loyal servant. Your heart pounds louder than anyone’s footsteps as you sneak through the palace each night, crippled with fear that you may be caught. One would expect a practiced ease due to how often you preform, however, it seems to make an opposite effect. You’re worried your luck of being unnoticed will run out. Though you can’t bring yourself to sleep peacefully without paying the white haired man a visit.
The gladiator. Your gladiator.
At first you told yourself you were doing him a favour, treating his slash. That you have no reason of coming back here.
And yet, here you are.
Time and time again.
He waits for you in the shadows of the cell below the training pits, always stiff at first, as if unsure if you’ll come. As if each time might be the last and you wonder if someday, it might truly be.
His body is bruised and bandaged from battles played out earlier in the daylight in front of hundreds, but you never him voice his complains out loud, regardless of how roughed up he ends up.
You silently admire that.
Meanwhile you’re betrothed to the emperor, unbeknownst to your gladiator, weak and forced to follow his orders. You’re the empire’s prize, it’s what they call you. A future empress, beautiful and admirable. Expected to bring prosperity and sense into the crazed mind of the ruler. Bring children to continue the lineage. But they don’t see how your hands tremble when you hear the crowd roar, how you flinch at each touch of your soon to be husband, how you perk your ears each night — hoping you’ll hear silence and not his footsteps.
What frightens you perhaps the most out of all is each time the gladiator steps into the arena. It feels like a piece of you goes out with him. You’re on the edge of your seat, nervously gripping at layers of your tunic as metal clashes in the arena. Each time he fights to live another day.
He might have earned the favours of people effortlessly and the emperor himself, nonetheless, how long can you steal moments in the dark with him before the light of the world finds out? Before the emperor learns that his bride’s heart doesn’t belong to him, that it never did nor never will. That instead, it belongs to a man with blood coating his sword at the end of each day?
Who knows what would happen then, in the best scenario — he’d have you both killed.
Despite all the risks, you don’t regret coming to him every night like a prayer and leaving each morning, feeling like a sinner. Though every day, you fear the gods are listening, judging and plotting against your odds.
“You are Greek, I can tell from your accent,” you finally let out what you’ve been meaning to for the past few days, from the moment you picked up on his light accent. It wasn’t noticeable at first and those not born on greek lands would overlook it entirely.
“I was born there, yes,“
“I was leading an army into a battle. Lost, got captured, travelled miles without knowing where we are headed. I stopped hoping after endless days of walking, and by a miracle landed here —into an arena in the capital of the empire,” he shares his story with you, glazing you with a form of vulnerability and the simple reality behind his path leading him to you. It leaves you feeling sorry for him, but you don’t wish to shower the gladiator in pity. You’re sure he’s had enough of time to do that himself.
“No wonder you are as skilled,” you point out instead, tone tender as ever. He snickers in response, watching your cloaked figure from the corner of his eye.
“Where from Greece are you?” you investigate, since there’s not much you know about the man and he’s the closest thing to home in months. He’s cautious, only offering what you’re offering. So you’re afraid he’ll brush you off like you usually do with him.
“I was born on Mykonos, however, my time there was short lived as I was quickly transported to Athens for training,” the mention of his home sparks a memory of your own island within you — shimmering in the late afternoon sun, its walls and painted columns casting long shadows. The sea breathing quietly in the distance, and the scent of salt and thyme carried on in the breeze. Bells echoing from the high towers, marking time. You’d walk alone, past frescoes of dancing bulls and gods with lion eyes, your sandals gliding over mosaic floors. A child of Crete, promised to an emperor across the great body of water. One you barely knew, but whose ships brought you to the heart of the empire. Your home might not be your home anymore, though your heart will remain anchored on the island forever.
How you dread being separated from it.
Knowing the foreign gladiator was brought from the southeast, thrown to the beasts just like you were, brings you a sense of comfort.
You’re about to answer, opening your mouth to spill something of your own, but the interruption of footsteps prevents you from it. You’re quick to stand to your feet, brushing dust off your silky robes. Panic seizes you, heart thundering in your chest as the sound circles closer and closer, until you’re met with the face of the gatekeeper.
Relief fast to embrace you.
“I am incredibly sorry to interrupt, but here is what you asked of me, princess,” the gatekeeper bows a little as he hands you the list of all the gladiators in the Colosseum, eager to depart from the both of you. Your efforts to keep your identity hidden are crushed in a fraction of seconds, by one word. You grip the papers tightly, pushing it into your pocket without giving it a look. Papers which were meant to reveal his name to you.
The blue eyed warrior stops dead at the sound of the man's words, his thoughts racing as he processes your title spoken into the hollow walls of the Colosseum.
"Princess?" he whispers, stunned at the unexpected revelation from the gatekeeper. The white haired gladiator stares at you in disbelief, his gaze no longer curious, but now utterly shocked from your secret flattening. He takes a step closer to the bars, his expression bathing in disbelief while trying to make sense of the situation. You offer him nothing but overpowering silence, head tilted to stare down at the floor.
“You are royalty?” he ponders — hushed, needing to hear the words coming from you so he can be sure his mind isn’t playing any tricks on him. He takes yet another step towards the bars, reaching his hand out to wrap it around the metal bar.
“No, you must have misinterpreted the situation,” you attempt to play the doomed situation down, voice shaken up due to the unexpected reveal. The man on the other side of the cell certainly doesn’t buy it as he continues to tower over you.
“Do not take me for a fool, I heard him call you a princess,”
You remain unmoving, debating innerly on what should your next step be. He knows, there’s no turning back. You could run, never show up here ever again. Only watch him from the box, married to the brute.
No.
Without a word, you lift your head from the ground, letting out a deep and long breath. Your hood slides backwards, revealing the lower part of your face. The gladiator is left breathless as he watches the scene he fantasised about for so long playing out before him. He’ll finally be able to capture the face of the one who’s become his reason to keep fighting. In the faint light, he can make out the delicate curve of your cheek, the gentle slope of your nose, and the fulness of your lips.
He leans in closer, nearly coming into contact with the iron material. The beat of his heart quickens, crazily drumming against his ribs, mind struggling to reconcile the fact that royalty’s standing right in front of him.
The intensity of his icy blue globes suffocates you with anxiety, hand reaching into the air to brush away the hood entirely. Revealing your face, the one he’ll surely be certain to put a label to. And indeed, the gladiator’s breath hitches in his throat as you push away your hood fully, showing him your face in its full glory and offering vulnerability. In the soft light, your features are even more graceful and delicate than he could have imagined.
As he studies your face with great detail, the realisation dawns on him. He recognises you. You’re the woman who sits by the emperor's side everyday, watching each fight play out with a horrifying expression painting her beautifully sculptured features.
You’re basically forced to dart away your gaze, his eyes urging you to feel like you’re standing completely bare in front of him. You survey the long corridor, brushing a strands of your coloured hair behind the shell of your ear. Though his attention never entirely leaves your frame, eyes tracing every feature, studying the way you brush away your hair. He can't help but be captivated by your beauty — similar to the one gods posses — a wave of conflicting emotions swirls through him yet again. He should be respectful to you as a princess, bow down to you. Though there’s a part of him that simply sees you as this mysterious woman who visits him night after night. Nothing more, nothing less.
A mysterious woman whom he thought to be a commoner, turning out to be a princess betrothed to the emperor himself.
“I suppose it must be tad of a shock for you,” you huff out, continuing to look somewhere to the side. Successfully avoiding the gladiator’s eyes, not fully ready to capture them once more.
“You could say that,” he replies, still studying your averted gaze, the sight bringing him to chuckle softly in amusement. He’s baffled by the overflowing emotions you’re portraying, the way you’re unable to fully lock your eyes with him — he’s taken aback by it, even more so since you’re the closest he’s been to a member of a royal family.
He should be the one to be nervous, not you.
You lightly shake your head, in disbelief of the situation, which causes your hair to come undone from the clip that had been holding it together at the back of your head. A few front strands fall into your vision, urging you to blow them away with your mouth. The gladiator watches with a devoted look, the hair framing the shape of your face like you’re in an ethereal painting. He then fully presses his body into the metal forming the bars, face sticking out in between the space with the intention of wanting to reach out and touch you.
He’s so close, regardless of the barrier separating you. One brief movement and he’d be able to touch you, but he’s careful to respect your boundaries. A certain warmth radiates off him, luring you to give in as his breathing fanes across your face. Still, his orbs remain utterly glued to the sight of you — admiring the shape of you and your soft looking hair enveloping the sides of your hair.
His mind is clouded with confusing desires.
The gladiator can't help but be taken aback by your alluring presence, his heart skipping a beat as you leap closer. He watches you intently, his gaze locked on your face while his mind races with thousands of thoughts per second. He reaches out, fingers gently grasping one of the bars — touch tender despite the rough calluses on his hands, but rather swift in response to his own pleas.
Your body flinches away out of fear at his fast movements, a habit you harvested throughout your months at the palace. The emperor is unpredictable, you never know if he’s about to soothe your hair, pinch your skin or something far worse. You curse yourself innerly for your doubts, because you trust this caged man more than you ever would your soon to be husband.
“I didn’t mean to startle you, princess,” his voice is smooth as he makes out your fear, even if it appears for a mere second. He is quick to retrieve his hand from the bar, remorse filling him up to the brim. He shouldn’t have let himself go, shouldn’t have forgotten that you’re royalty and you’re not used to being sought after so casually.
The gladiator whose name you’re still unaware of steps back, creating distance between you in an apologetic manner.
“No,” you let out quietly, closing the distance again to seek out his proximity by sticking your hand in between the metal barrier, waiting for him to take it and scoot over to you once more. Your gesture shows him that you’re not afraid of him, though you perhaps should be as you see what he does to other men inside the arena. However, you can see it pains him. That he’d rather be anywhere else, he kills simply out of the need for survival. If he didn’t strike first, then he’d be dismembered. That made you grow fond of him in the first place.
He’s taken aback by your unexpected gesture of trust, mixture of awe and hesitation overtaking his being. With a slow movement, he reaches out and gently wraps his much larger hand around yours, holding it soothingly. His hands are rough and scarred while yours look like they’re made of porcelain, polished and well taken care of. Your own heart stops for a moment at the difference in the sizes and at how surprisingly gentle he is with you.
“How did you end up at the mercy of the madman?” he holds your hand delicately as he asks you, as if afraid he might hurt you, knowing the strength he possesses.
“I was born on Crete. My father is the king of the island, one well connected. The second the emperor’s mother announced that her son is to be wedded, I was brought to a ship as a candidate,” his touch electrifies you, not in the same way when you were near other men in your life. Not that you have ever been left alone with one like this before — in the night with only dim light illuminating your vision, tucked away from the sights of everyone.
When you compare it to polite gestures with your suitors, it failed to do such as his touch. It failed to do half of what this man stirs in your insides.
Your father would be furious, yet the simple thought of it excites you. The forbidding atmosphere excites and scares you at the same time.
“Sadly he took a liking to me. And although I loathe to breathe the same air as he does, I have no other choice,” you finish speaking, hesitant to lock your gaze with his again. Your tone picks up on a hint of sadness, lacing your expression as you retell him the simple story of how you became the target of the emperor.
“I’m sorry, it is horrible, and you do not deserve it,” he gently squeezes your hand, and it feels refreshing to hear someone voicing out their sympathies. All you’d get from the noble society is how ungrateful you’re for not being over the moon, that countless of women would throw themselves off a cliff for a chance to meet the ruler. How gladly you’d let them have him instead.
“Do not apologise, you do not deserve to be treated like this either,” your free hand flies to the air, gesturing at the darkened place where a metallic smell of blood hangs heavily in the air.
“No need to worry about me,” he mumbles to interrupt you, shaking his head to strip you of your worries.
“But I do, each time you step into the arena,” the words are simple, yet holding an immense power.
He bends down to your level.
It happens in a quick moment, away from the eyes of courtiers and the weight of your duties. In a place where the air smells of iron and stone. A princess of Crete, a bride promised to the emperor, raised in silks and showered in gold jewels. You’re meant to be wise, untouched and perfect — served on a silver platter for the empire. But when you look at him, the gladiator chained in these dungeons, all of your problems seem to unravel and dissolve like sea foam. He isn’t beautiful in the way noblemen are. There is nothing polished or rehearsed about him. He stands in front of you, inches separating you, bruised from the acts of the fight. His eyes holding no brutality when they met yours. And at this moment, you’d trade all of your life and all those noble men for a simple taste of a gladiator.
You truly didn’t know why you kept coming back. But you did at the same time. You told yourself it was curiosity, pity, maybe even rebellion —though standing in front of him now with little space between you and the atmosphere heavy with something unsaid, you know it’s far more than that. You reach out absentmindedly, fingers slipping between the bars, brushing the line of his jaw. He doesn’t flinch nor forces you away, he welcomes it. His skin is warm beneath the pillows of your fingers, rough with scars, real in a way nothing in your world had ever been.
And then you slowly lean in, eyes fluttering shut in the process. Resulting in the fact you can’t make out anything besides the ramping organ in your ribcage.
Your lips meet, just barely at first. More a breath shared than a kiss. Something in you shifts into place as it happens though. It’s soft, then urgent, and another second you’re trembling with all the things you were never allowed to want, but dreamt of in secret. The white haired warrior kisses you back like he knows this might be the only time he’s offered the opportunity, like the moment is slipping through his fingers even as he holds you close.
It’s your first kiss, and it strangely feels just as natural as breathing.
You liked to imagine you’d share your first kiss somewhere in a garden, smelling petals of roses or at the foot of a golden throne with a prince. Instead you’re here, in the shadows, with a man whose name is a mystery waiting to be discovered. And still, none of your scenarios could compare to the real thing, to the heat shared between you as your lips move in sync with his.
“Satoru,” he whispers into your mouth in between your shared kisses, his hands slipping further past the bars to pull you closer by your perfect silky robes. Pressing you into the metal cell, in hopes of feeling your body against his.
“Satoru?” you repeat in confusion.
“Oh, Satoru,” you coo in realisation of his name, and whisper your own in addition.
“Say it again,” he demands, fingers brushing past your robes.
And you do.
Again and again and again and again.
It tastes sweetly on your tongue, just right.
And when you finally pull away due to the lack of oxygen, your lips are still tingling with the taste of him and suddenly, all is different. Your cheeks are flushed with a tint of pink, silently praying he won’t speak of it out loud. And he doesn’t, he actually seems to ride the same wave of adrenaline as you.
He clumsily sneaks and twists his hand in order to be able to caress the swell of your cheek. Pushing strands of your hair to rest behind your ear, causing you to chuckle fondly as the featherlight touch tickles you.
“Is there anything you would like for me to bring tomorrow, before your fight?” you suggest, hoping to make his time in the cell more accommodating.
“Just your company,” he smiles down at you, turning it into a smirk only a moment later. The one which grabs you by your throat, robbing you of any common sense.
Isn’t it crazy how one person can make you feel what other never could nor would in such a short period of time?
“I appreciate your flattery, but in all seriousness, do you not need anything?”
“No, your presence will be enough of a fuel,” he goes on, refusing anything before you even offer it.
“Do you think differently of me, knowing I am a princess?” you mumble worriedly, looking to the side for a while. Not wanting to appear pretentious, hoping his outlook on you won’t change despite him knowing who you really are.
“A stupid title will not alter the way I think of you,” his voice drops an octave, meant only for your ears. The gesture seemingly intimate, causing an entire havoc in your stomach.
You hold his face in your palms, memorizing the lines carved by his skills and the spots where the sun attacked brutally — surveying the kindness etched onto his features that hides beneath his nonchalant armour throughout the day. And you kiss him full of gratitude like you can press your soul into his, because by dawn, you both return to your cages.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s the arena or the palace.
The sun rises like gold urns pouring water over the city of Rome, spilling light through the stained arches of windows straight into your chamber. Soft beams brush against your bedsheets and the heading of your bed. You awake slowly as it reflects into your face as well, breath catching in your throat — not from your disturbed sleep, but from a creeping dread you could no longer push away.
Your wedding is in a week from today.
The scent of jasmine and rose water fills the room, meanwhile maidens move quietly as they notice your awake state to draw open the heavy curtains and to sett out gowns the colours of twilight and fire. All for you to try later in the evening. They smile as they walk past you, greeting you and whispering of the day’s important schedule. Their cheeriness brings you sorrows as they surely must picture you as their future empress already — you’re their fraction of hope for a better life. You force yourself to smile back, no sign of real joy as the rmperor’s image doesn’t stir your heart with same admiration as they imagine it does.
You sit on the edge of the bed, the silk sheets falling around you like waves. Outside, the palace garden blooms unnaturally early, flowers coaxed into blossom by alchemists to match the emperor’s vision of a perfect wedding day, not that he cares as much. Trumpets call faintly in the distance, and you recognise the sound instantly. The city below is already alive with celebration for your upcoming wedding. But all you feel is the weight of your duty, heavy as the golden jewellery you’re putting on.
A soft knock at the door echos through the walls of your room, handmaiden entering with a polite bow.
“The emperor sends word, princess. He awaits you in the throne room and then you will be allowed to have a breakfast,” is all she says before she places an ivory stola on the edge of your bed, disappearing with yet another bow. The long gown she brought fails to bubble up any form of excitement. You don’t move, gaze fixed on the horizon beyond the window, where smoke swirls through the air. Too mesmerised by yesterday’s occurrence, the ghost of Satoru’s touch shimmering you, regardless of his absence. The mere fantasy of his proximity sets you on fire.
Your nightly encounters are the only thing pushing you to get up, letting the maidens do their magic on you and slipping into the long gown your soon to be husband picked out specifically for you. You're standing tall, wrapped in the clothing which drapes over your shoulders like liquid moonlight. It’s beautiful, not what you’d choose but it works. The fabric is soft and cool against your skin, flowing down in elegant folds. Every movement feels you’re drowning in fluid, effortless. A delicate golden belt rests at your waist, shaping your figure not too tightly.
The palace buzzes with preparations for your upcoming wedding day as you stroll through the corridors of the palace to reach the throne room — golden silks hung, rose petals thrown across marble floors, laurels placed on the columns, songs rehearsed to honour an empire’s union by perfecting hymns dedicated to Venus and Juno. The goddesses of love and marriage. The sound nearly sickens you, the mere thought of standing in front of the altar with your palms rested in his and giving him your youth for free wrenches your gut. And for a moment, it truly feels like you might throw up. Especially when you reach the throne room, your heart thundering against your ribs like it might give out any second.
The emperor sits on his tremendous throne decorated with reflecting gems at the far end of the room, draped in crimson and gold robes. His presence nothing compared to the vastness of the room — he looks like a boy, a fool pretending to be a ruler and yet, you’re at his mercy. The throne is a masterpiece on its own, carved out of the finest marble. Unlike the ruler, it seems to pulse with the weight of power.
“Ah, there’s my bride,” he coos, eyes sharp and calculating as usual. Fixated on your every move, inviting you closer.
“Come,” his monotone voice lures you in.
Your heart pounds unevenly, caught between the sight unraveled before you and the impossible secret you carry in form of love that belongs to another, to one not too far from this gilded cage. The silence feels heavy, broken only by the distant hushes of courtiers and the soft shuffle of your footsteps on polished stone. As you approach, the emperor’s gaze never ceases.
“Your highness,” you let out softly, bending your body to show him respect in hopes of pleasing to achieve a piece of security for yourself.
“Come here, sit,” he pats his thigh, fingers gesturing for you to take a seat.
His words hang in the air as murmurs of servants ripple softly, awkwardness flushing you. Still, you have no choice, so you walk forward to climb the stairs — each one drawing you closer to the throne and to the man who plays to be the ruler. He extends a hand, guiding you gently onto his lap and cradling you not just with power, but possession. As if he owns you. And in a way he does. You feel overly stiff, unable to loosen and the fact it’s being witnessed by every bowed head in the room adds a sting.
At first, he speaks of your wedding day which is hurrying your way. The tone of his voice low, only meant for your ear. It causes goosebumps to grace your skin, not in a pleasant intimate way your lover would make you feel, but rather in fear and disgust. From time to time, mere sight of him boils your blood and spins your head, therefore sitting in such a close proximity makes you want to tear your hair out.
You loathe him dedicatedly, overflowing with hatred for the one you’re supposed to be wedded to, but you can’t be bothered to feel guilty while you’re seated in his lap. His heinous acts can’t make you.
“I must say I am growing rather bored of the new champion,” a mush of his words reaches your ear, they come unexpectedly and it feels like a punch to the stomach. You instantly recognise who he’s directing his words to and what it could mean, knowing his corrupted ways of thinking.
“How so, my lord?” you speak up for the first time since you sat down onto his lap, voice careful and precise.
“Winning over and over gets repetitive, does it not?” he cocks his head to the side lightly, peaking at you from the corner of his eye, a smirk tugging his lips up. A glint of mischief in his gaze, nearly making you choke on paranoia. There’s no possibility he could somehow find out about my nightly outings, you keep repeating in your head.
“I suppose, your highness,” you agree, not wanting to rile him up beyond recognition, even though it takes everything within you to not push him away.
“I will fight the gladiator,” he announces as if it’s some grant gesture, expecting to earn an encouragement, yet all it does is wake up a raging storm of emotions in your chest. Thousands of thoughts running through your mind, all sort of scenarios overtaking your sense. Each one ending in the favour of your soon to be husband and not the man you’ve grown so fond of, because wealth and power win in the end. Not strength and bravery.
“You have seen how skillful the man is,” your spoken statement is an opposite of what he thought you’d say, earning yourself a tight squeeze on your hip. His fingers digging into the fabric of the gown he picked out for you, into your tender flesh.
“Do you trust the slave more than your own emperor?” you can see it then, the change in his mechanisms. It’s like someone flipped a switch and there’s a whole another person, the action urging you to bolt. Nonetheless, you stay, loyal to the one you’re promised to — discarding your own needs.
“I would not dare, I simply worry too much,” you breathe out shakily, trying to appear genuine. It brings you to hesitantly reach out your hand, the motion slow enough that he could slap it away if he wished to. He doesn’t, he welcomes your touch instead, taking you by a surprise the second your palm comes into contact with the swell of his cheekbone.
“I appreciate it, though suggest you keep your mouth shut, sweets. Worry doesn’t look too good on you,” his lips curve into a malicious smile, hand flying out to grip your wrist tightly. You almost whine aloud, not from the pain, but from how unexpected the action was. You swallow the dry lump building up in your throat, barely visibly nodding your hand. And with that, he jerks your arm away from his face.
“In five days, I will face the champion,”
Your world crashes down, ambers of horror turning into flames. You don’t try to convince him to do otherwise due to his stubbornness, regardless of how unlikely he’s to win honourably in the fight. Your mind only wanders to the white haired gladiator, the worry you feel now incomparable to the one you feel each time he goes out to fight in the arena. It’s far more devouring that he’s ought to be robbed of his life in such a disgusting manner.
His arms untangle from your body, hand patting the side of your thigh to show you you’re no longer welcomed in his lap. He dismisses you, finally. The gruesome time spent in his presence seeming overly time consuming. And as soon as that, you’re on the path to your room, you feel both at ease and horrified. The thought of having breakfast making you sick as reality of what is to come for your heartfelt warrior crashes down on you just, coming your way in full speed. Your footsteps pick speed, flying through the corridors of your new home.
When you reach the inside of your chamber, your words are quick to send the maids away, not caring whether they’re finished with their task or not. The one sensation you can focus on is the burning in the walls of your throat and on the entirety of your chest. You manage to breathe slowly in and our in order to keep your emotions at bay until every single one of your ladies exits the room.
Then it hits you, like an arrow to your heart.
He’s going to die by the hands of your monstrous future spouse.
Tears spill from the corners of your eyes, running down the swell of your cheeks and continuing their way down your neck. Meanwhile, your back remains pressed against the entrance door to the room. You close your orbs shut, thinking that maybe — just maybe — it’d go away if you tried hard enough. However, you can’t stop the reality from dragging you down. And you feel pathetic for allowing your emotions to get the better out of you, because of a man who’s always been bound to be taken away from you. Although, it never occurred to you it could be done by the man you’re betrothed to. It makes you hyperventilate, each cell in your body bursting while trying not to let out a single sound. It’s agonising, all you wish to do is let it out, but with the ladies still lingering behind the closed door to your room, it’s unimaginable.
“In five days, therefore before our wedding,” you mumble out inaudible and in disbelief, piece of hope swallowing you whole as an idea bubbles up to surface.
Seven days to your wedding ceremony, five till the fight.
You’ve still got time to try, try to either talk the emperor into stepping away from the fight or help the gladiator escape before it comes down to it. Either way, you’d then proceed to marry the emperor, be miserable and preform your duty as a princess — bringing the empire a slice of hope for the future. And as great as it sounds, you know you’d regret it till the end of your days. And then there’s the last option, which includes packing up your necessities and losing yourself in the city, sailing away on a boat with Satoru’s hand in your. The fantasy robbing you of any logical way of thinking.
It’s all you wish for, from the marrow in your bones to your fingertips — your whole being years for a chance at a new life, away from the madness of the empire.
Small pieces of ideas begin to form a unit in your mind, and the last thing you need is the agreement of the one you’re so eager to run away with.
It causes you to pick yourself up, each shattered piece, and smile. You smile your way through the day, trying out dresses and answering all the prying questions coming from your court ladies to appear as much in love with the idea of marrying the emperor as they do. You lunch with him in the gardens, you endure each time he picks on you with grace and dodge everything which leads to suggesting being in any shape or form intimate with him. He hasn’t tried anything, but with the wedding date nearing its expiration, he’s certainly growing rather bold with his words and it’s simply a matter of time before he does try. You play out your role of the low maintenance loyal princess who appears to be amazed by what’s happening in her life. All of it just to wake up in the dead of the night, filled with anticipation and anxiety, ready to take on yet another nightly outing. This time being different, tainted by a horrible sense that you’ll soon run out of time for good.
In the stillness of the night, the city transforms and gleams in a strange way under the light of the moon. Each step a defiance to your obligations, betraying your lineage and the ruler himself by plotting against his judgment. The air feels exceptionally thick as you reach the entrance leading to the gladiator’s cells. Your heart heaves with news that threaten to shatter your clandestine fantasy. The emperor, perhaps having caught whispers of your affections, had announced his participation in the upcoming games — not for sport, but for execution. And you’re soon going to be the one to deliver these news.
“I need the keys this time,” you demand, the old man guarding the entrance nearly choking on his own saliva.
“But princess—“
“I said I need the keys,” your voice cuts him off before he can finish, repeating your wish once more and empathising it while reaching into the pocket of your silky robe to pull out a leather sachet, packed with gold and denariuses.
The nameless man scans your hooded figure, arm hesitantly handing you the keys in exchange for your treasure, and then he lets you in without any other words — aware this might not end up well for him. But it doesn’t stop you either like it normally would, you can’t bring yourself to care as you descend down the stairs.
“You are late tonight,” his voice calls out from the darkness of his cell, collected and oh so soothing. Your shoulders loosen up and the speed of your racing heart comes to a halt. You pull your hood down, revealing yourself to him as you inch closer towards the metal bars.
“I am sorry, I had to wait a little longer tonight,” you whisper into the silence, keeping the keys hidden in your pocket as there’s a small uncertainty blooming in you about using them, about stepping inside and that he might run.
“You came, that is what matters,” he exhales with a low hum, stepping out of the darkness to close the overbearing distance between you. Your heart ceases to function at the sight of his beautiful face, each time you see him it grabs you by your throat like it’s the first time and it doesn’t cease to amuse you. The sharp cut of his jawline and cheeks-bones, the delicate curve of his nose and the light sunburn grazing his skin from working in the open sun, but most importantly, the gleam in his eyes — the softness that defies the rest of his muscular frame.
“I am afraid I am not a barer of good news,” you break the silence with a heavy heart, the reality coming together once again as the amusement goes on to pass. Satoru furrows his brows at that, arms sneaking through the metal to touch you.
“The emperor, he is out of his mind, and he wants to fight you before he is to be wedded to me, Satoru,” pure shock paints his face the moment your words make the situation real, his hand gently squeezes your side before his fingers play with the slippery fabric of your gown.
“Let him, then. I will crush him with ease,” he states with confidence and if it were anyone else facing him, you wouldn’t dare to question his skills.
“You are not reading me correctly,” you shake your head slightly, tone cracking, and part of you knew it wouldn’t be easy to convince him of what is building up outside of the walls of the Colosseum.
“He is not to let you win,” you speak slowly and deliberately, allowing him to digest the meaning behind it in hopes that he’ll listen to you.
“He does not need to, I will defeat him,” he copies your way of speaking, trying to convince you to put your faith in him. His palm slides up your body to rest upon your cheek, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.
“Do you truly think he is a man of honour? He will cheat his way out,” the words escape your lips in a quiet and desperate way, while you pool your eyes into his. Their shade almost dark blue in the darkness. Like the ocean that threatens to drown sailors on a stormy night.
It makes you realise that there are no torches lit this night which is suspicious.
“I will send him to his own grave, I promise you princess. That you will be free,” your face falls into frustration even though his thumb works in small sensual circles on your skin, it’s still not enough to soothe down the raging ache.
“You cannot possibly think they will let you kill the emperor in an arena full of guards. In front of hundreds, it will be a charade,” you continue, growing more desperate. So much that you might start pleading, it’s what your eyes are doing anyway and it seems to shake him up a little, because you take notice of the way his features soften up.
“They will take your life too, even if you by some miracle will succeed in killing him,” you add, leaning into the security of his touch.
“At least you will be free, I am to take the risk,”
And that is what utterly undoes you, so much you have to pull and step away.
“Please, I beg you to stop,” you plea, clasping your hands together.
“There is no other way,” his voice is calm in comparison to yours, as if he’s already reconciled with his fate and it only deepens the hurt burning through you.
“Satoru, listen,” you start off shakily, but you manage to form it into coherent sentences, “we could board a ship in four days, sail to Greece together at dawn and leave this behind.”
Your hands tremble as you reach for the gladiator before you, but he’s the one to step away now. Your eyes are wide with desperation, searching his face for traces of hope. He remains still, his muscular frame silhouetting against the stone walls of his cell — your lips quiver, breath hitching as you silently plead for escape.
“I cannot strip you off your titles, your birthright,” he speaks up, crushing your build up hope in a fraction of second, making you reel.
“None of it compares to you,”
“I have nothing to offer you,” the gladiator's expression is a tapestry of conflict. His brows knit together, eyes reflecting a storm of love, sorrows and resignation. He gently takes your hands in his, the touch both tender and firm as he slowly shakes his head.
“It matters not, you are worth more than all the jewels they bathe me in and it would be silly to marry someone I would never be able to love, would it not?” you chuckle lightly, expressing the doubts you haven’t spoken out loud before. You squeeze his hands, urging him to give into this.
“I would simply not be able to forgive myself for robbing you of your comfort,” his iridescent globes pierce yours and it’s admirable, the way he so easily gives up what he wants in order for you to be secured. Even as you’re begging him to do the complete opposite, even knowing the marriage would never fulfil you, but he would rather die than to rob you of everything, give you nothing and make you more miserable. It’s better to be miserable in a palace than somewhere God knows where, it’s what he tells himself as he fights to not do what you’re asking him.
“You are not listening to me,” your tone becomes more firm, demanding. And it irks you how much this affects you, nonetheless, you can’t phantom a reality where you stay with the emperor and leave him to die.
“You are not either,” he doesn’t pretend to be calm anymore, the expression on his face a mixture of remorse and frustration.
“I cannot watch you leave your life behind, and for what? A gladiator?” the echo of his sarcastic chuckle rings through the long dungeon, striking your heart right where it hurts the moment. And you realise just how crazy this is, what you’re asking him to do — to steal a princess under the nose of the emperor — but it doesn’t stop you.
For once in your life, you want to be selfish.
“And I cannot lose you, do you not understand? I have fallen in love with you,” you say exactly what you’re thinking, cheeks flushing in the process due to the simple fact you have never felt the need to say those word nor had anyone ever to say them to.
The gladiator looks just as surprised by your confession as you do which unsettles you.
“What?” he mumbles, barely audible as he implores you to repeat what has left your lips.
credits for dividers: [ @zaldritzosrose @cafekitsune @enchanthings ]
wonderwall ch.8 wings of invisibility and uncertainty
✼pairing: hogwarts au - slytherin!gojo x ravenclaw!reader
✼summary: gojo satoru, the golden boy of a famous family lineage of wizards sets his sights on you, a half blood defying his pureblood morals. he makes it a goal in his life to make yours a living hell. years of endless pestering, teasing and rivalry stretching out. as times goes on, he finds himself thinking about you more than he isn’t while the world descends towards potential evil. he grows torn between his family’s beliefs and the forbidden ache tickling his chest whenever he sees you.
✼meaning: wonderwall - the person you cannot stop thinking about (song by oasis)
✼genre/tags: hogwarts au, female reader, strangers to enemies/sort of academic rivals to forbidden lovers, slow burn, angst, eventual smut, pining and yearning (mostly gojo), built up tension, teasing, bickering and pestering, jealousy, slightly spoiled gojo, obsessed and lovesick gojo, both are pretty oblivious to their feelings
✼warnings: hook ups, sexual topics, family pressure and trauma, mentions of injuries and violence, degradation, mentions of political views, escalating political situation, lgbtq representation, cheating
✼word count: 13k
✼chapters: 8/?
a/n: was supposed to post yesterday, but i was too tired to edit so here it is now. it’s the longest chapter so far and it’s kinda angsty. lmaooo, hopefully you’ll enjoy it anyway. i was supper busy the past few weeks and i will be till the end of may, monday was also my last day of high-school. shit feels weird:d
based on this // previous chapter // next chapter
˚⟡˖ ࣪: link to playlist
˚⟡˖ ࣪: link to vision-board
Hogwarts, the place of your comfort, was never really the same after you returned back from your two week spiralling. It wasn’t something which you took notice of immediately due to your overpowering grief, it was rather a slow process of picking out the changes in your routine. Your schedule became loose as you dropped out of the quidditch team, it cleared out — leaving you with a great amount of free time you always longed for. Months ago it’d sound like dream, however, that impression seems to have perished. Instead, it’s more like a spiteful nightmare. And there you were, drowning in your sorrows, and with so much time on your hands, you had no clue what to do with it nor with yourself. That’s precisely when you started to become aware of the changes in your environment.
A handful of professors were fired along with the headmaster, charged guilty in the same way he was.
For plotting against the government.
Nobody was hundred percent sure of where the evidence for their plotting came from, it remains a mystery till now. It left you curious, because what if the resignation of your mother was the first step towards the worse?
The change of staff was painfully noticeable, your favourites were amongst those who were forced to take their leave. So school work became a chore, rather than something you enjoyed. And with the work pilling up for your graduating, you found yourself falling into your old habits. Into the hole you had managed to dig yourself up from, it feels dehumanising.
And due to all the new rules and assets of the headmaster, it feels good to be send off for personally picked out internship.
You had obviously chosen a two week internship at the ministry, getting easy access to it because of your mother’s position. Perks you’ll miss. It was her idea to have you by her side though, seizing the last opportunity to walk you through what you will be applying for later on, before her term is definitively over and so is her dedication to the ministry.
Plus, you knew being with her would ease the stinging pain you carry with yourself.
With your mother’s resignation, a sense of calmness washed over the usually busy departments of the ministry.
There doesn’t need to be a process of electing anymore with your mother out of the game. The future Head Auror of Magical Enforcement is named already. The paperwork is done, hanging at each corner of the hallway like a painful reminder — printed in all newspapers, the information leaking quicker than spilled ink.
Sato Gojo is to take upon your mother’s place.
The second you were told, your world shattered. It makes sense the head of the Gojo family is up to take upon your-mother’s role, however, you can’t help to not feel betrayed. Gojo’s father always kept to his social circle, refusing to involve himself in politics and rather focus on his family.
So what drove to a shift in his behaviour?
There’s many questions to which you have no answer to, but it certainly doesn’t fail to wake your previous suspicions back to life. All of this simply looks like too much of a coincidence, and no matter how my times you open yourself up to your mother about it, she always finds a way to brush it off, or reassure you it’s all in your head.
Overall, the head of the Gojo family becoming an Auror working for the ministry pleased the conservative community. Bringing them a period of harmony and peace.
For how long before they’re hungry for more power is an unknown fact.
“You’re packing already, huh?” you call out, eyeing the boxes in the corner of your mother’s office. Some of them empty, some half filled up with stacks of folders and trinkets she gathered during her many terms.
“Yes, my love. My term ends in two weeks, I better get the stuff out of here now,” your mother chuckles calmly while she browses through one of her last stacks of forms she has to fill in.
“Can I see?” you carefully point at the cardboard, requesting permission to peak and see what’s inside.
She hums in response, which sparks a wave of joy. You’ve always been fond of her position, admiring her for her strength to withstand such pressures. It’s no easy job, and the fact she as a woman managed to win over countless others candidates left you feeling proud. Making her someone you looked up to since long before you got your letter of acceptance into Hogwarts.
Therefore, it’s no wonder to feel sad as you scan all of the boxes carrying her story.
You kneel before the stack of worn cardboard, the brownish sides of the boxes are labeled in your mother’s tidy handwriting. The air smells faintly of parchment, dust, and something oddly comforting. She only just resigned, and yet this already feels like an artefact of archaeology.
You open the top box and are greeted by layers of folded robes, the fabric scuffed at the edges. Beneath them lies a cracked leather notebook with marks at the corners. Inside it, her handwriting flows steadily across the pages like deliberate poetry. It’s full of case notes, sketches of spell patterns, details of hexes encountered in the field. And so much more, it grips you in amusement. Some bylines are even scattered with personal remarks.
“Don’t trust Proudfoot with back up again,”
“Found the locket. It’s burning stronger this time.”
In another box, you find photos. Some still moving, others faded. There’s one of her where she’s much younger. It must be way before she had you. Her wand is raised mid-battle, hair wild with wind and adrenaline. Her eyes are alive in a way you haven’t seen lately. Another photo shows her, and two colleagues clinking mugs in the Auror Office, grinning in the way people do when they’ve survived something that should have strip them of their life.
A smaller box at the bottom holds her wand cases, a broken Time-Turner and a tiny box with a picture of you. You appear to be around six, perhaps seven. A lock of your hair is attached to the back of it — labeled with your name and birthdate. There's a small scribbled note under it as well, barely readable as it seems to have vanished with passing time.
She carried your picture with her into battles.
You sit back, hands in your lap, surrounded by the cardboard boxes. It’s a strange thing, learning who your mother was through what she gathered over the years. This woman in the photos is one you rarely got to meet, and you silently wish you knew more of her, not just from the pictures.
A hero to society, yes. But also just a woman who wanted to get back to her family the most at the end of each day.
You lift another folder from the depths of the box, thinner and more delicate than the rest. It isn't labeled like the others, just sealed with a faded string tie. Inside, tucked carefully between pieces of parchment, are photographs. Not official ones like the rest, but personal. Private.
The first photo shows two girls in Hogwarts robes standing near the Black Lake, grinning madly as the wind whips at their hair and ruins their photo. You recognize your mother instantly. Her coloured hair is put together into a braid, the slight squint in her eyes radiates a warm atmosphere. Perhaps due to the fact you know it only occurs when she genuinely smiles. Something which you don’t see much of these days.
But it’s the girl beside her that makes you pause.
She’s luminous.
Her hair is gold — like actual sunlight, and her eyes are a vivid emerald green that gleams even in the aging photograph. Comparable to the depths of the Forbidden Forest. There’s a joy in her expression as well, like she was on the verge of laughter. She’s got an arm slung around your mother’s shoulders, wand tucked behind one ear.
You can’t help but question who’s the girl, and why you never heard of her.
You find more photographs of them together: the two of them studying in the common room, caught mid-laugh in the library. There’s even one of them dancing at what looks like the Yule Ball —your mother is in deep blue robes, the other girl in green silk, spinning with such jubilation it blurs the image.
Then you find a letter tucked into the sleeve of one of the albums. The parchment is soft with age, but the ink is crisp and still bold enough to read properly.
You sit with your back facing your mother, afraid she might snap these out of your sight if she sees.
And right now, you’re desperate to get to know the girl she has once been.
You look back at the girl in the photo, this “Y.” Whoever she was, she mattered. Not just to your mother’s school days, but maybe to who she became when she joined the ministry, when she became an Auror, when she became your mother and a wife to your father.
She must matter a great deal to your mother still, for she has kept her letter all these years.
You wonder where she is now.
You wonder if your mother ever contacted her again.
You return the letter from "Y." carefully to its sleeve, your fingers trembling slightly, not from fear but from the heavy tenderness of it all. They’re not your memories, but it doesn’t really matter. Nostalgia welcomes you with open arms anyway. The box has become more than a collection of artefacts — it’s a map of your mother’s life, kept in parchment and photographs.
Looking into the boxes makes you realise that you might never actually get to know your mother in a way you wish you could.
There must be other countless things which remain unsaid.
And will stay that way for evermore.
Near the bottom of the cardboard, under a stack of old Daily Prophets folded, you find another set of photographs. These are different — crisper, more static and completely motionless. Photographs taken in the human world. The magic may not move them, but they hum with a different kind of atmosphere.
Your father is in them.
He stands next to your mother in a bright, sun-washed park, one hand resting over hers on the handle of a stroller. Where you’re presumably hidden under a blanket. His smile is cracked open and unguarded, nothing like the haunted eyes of Aurors in postwar photos. Your mother’s hair is loose in this one, curling over her shoulders and her work attire is traded for a simple trench coat. There’s another of your father lifting your toddler self into the air, while your mother laughs beside him. There are numbers of others as well, dating back to before you were brought into the world.
You sit with those for a while. They make the quiet around you feel significantly louder. Hot and heavy tears prickle the corners of your eyes, streaming down your cheeks. You’re quick to wipe them away, one by one, however, they keep coming back for some strange reason. You swallow the sobs bubbling in your throat, not wanting to alarm your mother of your discovery.
You hide the pictures back into the bottom of the box, away from the world and your eyes.
For a moment you thought about informing your mother of what you’ve stumbled upon and then it hit you. Your father’s no longer amongst the living, and it rips your soul to pieces all over again. As if no time has actually passed, causing you to nearly choke on the sobs you desperately try to push back beneath the surface.
You recall Arabella’s saying, that the time will pass anyway. Trying to comfort yourself, but failing miserably.
You simply miss him. And you can’t phantom how your mother must feel, losing both her best friend and life long partner in one.
And then, as you try to gather the things back into the box, something else falls out.
A letter. Unsent.
The handwriting is your mother’s, unmistakably — sharp, hurried, always pressing forward like she couldn’t write fast enough to keep up with herself.
Somehow, it feels like you’re overstepping the boundaries of her privacy, but you can’t bring yourself to put these memories of her away.
You still sit on the floor with your legs crossed, the letter open in your lap. For a long while, the only sound is the soft ticking of the old clock on the table and the sound of your mother’s scribbling ink-pen. The pieces click into place. The fierce girl in green, perhaps a Slytherin. The woman your mother was. The deep and unfinished friendship she shared.
It all shaped her into the woman sitting at the desk right now.
“Mom, I know you’re strictly against sharing any sort of information with me, but do tell me why you resigned. The people need you more than ever now,” you dare to speak up after cleaning your throat, rotating your body towards her. Your cheeks still wet, fingers brushing the remains away with your sleeve.
“They’d eventually force me out of here one way or another. And it might seem I hold majority of the power here, nonetheless, it’s quite the opposite. Despite my position, I’d be powerless here. Due to the conservative’s power rising,” she explains.
She’s right, you know it. Though you wish she still fought more and didn’t give in as easily, you wanted her to at least try in the elections. Instead, she gave in. She cleared the way for them, gave them easy access.
“And then there’s the petition,” you furrow your brows with confusion, still resting at the floor.
“A petition? For what?” you question, not piecing it together.
“For my resignation, dear. Countless of people working for the ministry signed it, it’s the conservatives doing,” she informs you calmly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the word and you’re just being dramatic.
“Why though? You’re incredible at your job,” you huff out, empathising the word incredible.
A long pause hangs in between you, your mother waits for you to come to a conclusion on your own.
“Right, dad,” you sigh out, a sting envelopes your chest as you recall the photographs kept in the boxes beside you. And the fact there’s enough hatred in the world to force your mother out of the office for such a stupid reason boils your blood.
“There’s other things involved, things I own,” she adds, her voice dropping a whole octave as her gaze remains focused on the folders. Her statement swirls a weird sensation within your stomach, an instinct begs you to persuade the topic, but you drop it. It’d do no good.
“Mom, if you ever need me, I’ll do anything,” you respond, supporting her instead of prying information out of her. You deem it to be better, given your situation.
“You’re sweet, but this isn’t your battle,” your mother chuckles warmly, lifting her gaze from the paperwork to look down at where you’re sitting — surrounded by cardboard.
“It is, it concerns me and my friends as well,” you plea, maintaining eye contact with her. Trying to be a shoulder for her to lean on once, just as she was always one for you.
“The one thing you should do now is to lay low,”
“Don’t we need to do something though? Stop the corruption, start before it’s too late?” your patience slips, casting out hopeless ideas to encourage the fire which once sparked in your mother, but now only lives in you.
“That’s the opposite of what we need right now, we will let them think they won and when the time’s right, we’ll strike,” she keeps on going with her idea of the situation, one which you’re not so fond of.
“Mom, I don’t know,” you object, looking to the side.
“Trust me, once you finish school, we’ll properly look into it, alright?” her voice isn’t pressuring, neither is her gaze. She’s truly simply trying her best to best to keep you safe and unscathed.
That only leaves you to give into her pleas.
“Okay, I’ll keep to myself,” you vow quietly, even though something’s telling you it’s not right.
Then another silence sets as she goes back to her paperwork.
Shortly after, knock cuts through the quiet lingering in the air like a misfired spell. You continue to sit cross-legged on the office floor, your hands resting on the boxes as you put everything back in place. The letter addressed to “Y.” once again lie at the bottom of the cardboard. Your mother sits by her desk, arms folded with eyes distant as she charms the papers away. She hasn’t said a word since your little promise.
The knock comes again. Three brushes of knuckles. Not urgent, but deliberate. Your mother doesn’t look at you. She doesn’t need to. You can sense the shift in her expression, the air around her goes still with tension. Her voice calls out loud enough for the other person to hear and move inside the office.
Soon enough, there’s three of you in the room.
The man entering is tall, easily over six feet, with a long and lean frame. He’s dressed in navy tailored suit. A black coat hangs open from his shoulders, lined with silk that catches the hallway light. His hair is a familiar shade of white — not the soft, aged kind. But the striking one, like freshly fallen snow on a chilly winter day. It's swept back loosely with gel, a few misbehaving strands falling across his forehead. His skin is pale, almost flawless in the dim light and his cheekbones cut sharp beneath the fall of his hair. You can feel the weight of his gaze, familiar pair of orbs staring down at your sitting form after acknowledging your mother.
He steps further inside before anyone says anything, while you watch him like someone staring at a ghost — the sight of the older man nearly makes you choke on your own saliva.
Your mother did briefly mention that Gojo’s father studied at Hogwarts around the same time as her, and if he was anything like his son — you felt sorry for her. You also stumbled across him multiple times in the newspapers, it’s possible you saw him at the train platform over the years too, and it’s simply been forgotten by you. Seeing him now though, in person, is completely something else. You didn’t expect their appearances to be as similar. It’s like your eyes are taking in the carbon copy of the younger version which pesters you in the castle.
“Ah, Sato. I’ve been expecting you,” your mother is fast to stand up, walking over to him to offer a handshake as a greeting gesture. You’re snapped back to reality and decide that getting on your feet is a better idea than lingering near the floor with such a honourable visit. Your hands brush away the dust from your trousers and then you straighten your back.
“M/N, always such a warm welcome from you,” Gojo’s father returns the offered handshake, adding a small charming smile out of politeness. The motion jabs at your ribs, the voice and the smile — it seems all too familiar. To the point where you wonder if you’re hallucinating.
“My wife will be here shortly, she has some errands to run,” he announces a second later as all three of you stand near the centre of the room, you inches behind your mother. And you swear you almost flinch, when the older man’s piercing blue eyes land on you. It’s a well known fact that those born into the Gojo family carry these extraordinary features, but seeing more than one member of the lineage in your life seems to knock the wind out of your lungs — wondering how it’s possible.
“And you must be Miss Y/N. I don’t believe we had the pleasure to meet officially,” the white haired man’s voice is honey like, welcoming you without any doubts as his hand reaches for yours. Waiting for you to take it. You swallow the lump building in your throat, the resemblance scaring and amusing you at the same time.
“No, sir. We haven’t, the pleasures all mine,” you of course mimic his gesture, lightly shaking his hand. You force out a smile, unsure of what else there’s to do.
“Ravenclaw, is it, young lady?” both of you retrieve your hands by the time he asks you the next question. It grabs you by surprise as you thought he’d simply sway the conversation back to your mother.
The gleam on older man’s face is undistinguishable, one you were convinced you’d see in no one else but his son.
“Indeed, it is,” you chuckle appropriately, nodding your head in agreement.
“Mhm, thought so, taking after your mother,” he responds with a hint of a laugh, sending shivers down your spine. Small part of you was convinced your Gojo the younger version of his father mentioned you, but then again, why would he?
“I presume that’s a compliment,” you hum, glancing at your mother who appears to be in the grasp of tension.
“You’d be right to think that,” Gojo’s father laughs louder this time, a hint of smirk decorating his lips.
And you thought they couldn’t be more alike.
“Y/N, dear, will you excuse us for a moment?” your mother’s voice breaks the trance you’ve been put to by your own wandering of mind.
“Of course,” is all you utter before you bid both of them a proper see you later kind of goodbye, closing the door shut after you.
You’ve been so baffled by the appearance of Gojo’s father, the resemblance he portrays to his son, to even question what it is that he went in there for. And his wife, the Slytherin’s mother, is on her way as well.
Strange.
What could possibly be of such importance for the both of them to come?
Surely, they aren’t here to pat your mother on the back for what a great job she has done.
Other things involved, things your mother owns — you debrief on your earlier conversation, the words settling in the pit of your stomach and creating a wrenching sensation.
You fully step out of your mother’s office, the weight of the conversation still clinging to your shoulders like a heavy burden. The hallway stretching out in front of you is its usual blend of dull marble. You move cautiously as you’re very aware of the fact you’re a mere intern — confident enough to walk without hesitating due to the badge pinned to your shirt, but aware of every polished shoe that echoes louder than it should.
Then, just as you round the corner past the auror division, you collide softly with someone. A breath, a scent like wild jasmine and clean peppermint — scent so expensive it leaves you breathless.
The woman you bumped into has golden hair, not blonde in the common way, but the color of sunlight reflecting against golden jewels. Her eyes stop you, leaving you cold. Green, like the forests in old paintings, full of calculations and surprises as she gazes back at you. There's something unnervingly excellent about her. The curve of her jaw, the tilt of her mouth. The paleness of her skin.
She’s ethereal looking.
It clicks slower than it should’ve.
You've seen her before.
In the photographs nestled in your mother’s boxes. The ones half-forgotten under folders of paperwork, labeled with a name that was no name at all. A nickname at best, perhaps a simple initial.
She smiles slowly and knowingly, as if she recognizes you too.
“An internship, young lady?” her voice is just as soft as you thought it to be, embroidered with a natural sweet tone — regardless of her sharp gaze and the suspicion in her practiced smile. Her appearance is meant to deceive. You sense your chest tightening as there’s something sorrowfully familiar to her as well. Not simply because of the pictures.
“Yes, an internship,” you breathe out unsteadily, like your breath got caught up somewhere on its way.
“I’m very sorry for bumping into you,” your apology is fast to follow as you regain your consciousness.
“I’ve seen you before, you’re in my son’s year if I’m not mistaken,” she chooses to discard your apology, focusing her energy elsewhere. Her expression is just as sweet, just as corrupted with a flash of cunningness. Her words connect your missing dots, the familiarities making sense now.
Right, she must be the wife.
You’re quick to recall your mother’s unsent letter as well — given who you married.
It all comes together like puzzle pieces, and you feel sort of stupid for not putting them together sooner.
“That would be correct,” you confirm her words, lightly nodding your head as you fidget with your fingers, unbeknownst to you. Her presence stirs nervousness within you, and the way her smile widens at your confirmation doesn’t seem to lighten it.
“You look quite awfully lot like your mother,” she hums, lost in deep thought as her globes survey your entire being.
“I get that a lot, thank you,”
“You have that kind of fire in you, I can tell,” she goes on, measuring you and ticking boxes in her head. You’re left unsure of what to do, whether to brush her off and get rid of the pit in your lower abdomen or engage in an interaction with her. To attempt at pulling some information out of her. But with that glint in her eyes, you doubt you’d be able.
Merlin’s beard, it’s as if she sees right through you and what you’re thinking.
That seems to run in their family.
“You know my mother?” you act as if you never heard of her, and you truly haven’t until today, only to see the shocked expression on her face.
It’s quick to flicker away.
“Briefly,” she slightly pouts, something which would go unnoticed by you if it weren’t for the letters and old photographs.
“Well, she’s inside with your husband. They’re waiting for you,” you look over your shoulder, eyeing out the office door you can barely see from around the corner. You offer her a kind smile, despite the fact she terrifies you.
“Thank you, have a nice day, dear,” her voice becomes even more delicate as she brushes past you, hand gently patting your shoulder In gratitude.
“You as well, Miss Gojo,” you manage to mumble out before she completely slips past you.
And what you don’t properly notice is the way she tilts her head to the side, sneaking one last look at you.
The greenhouse at Hogwarts in winter feels like a world apart from the cold stone corridors and snow-dusted grounds outside. The thick glass panels are frosted at the edges, softening the outlook winter gives. The patterns are delicate and detailed, unlike anything which could be drawn by hand. Inside, it's surprisingly humid and the air smells earthy. Warmth coming from the enchanted heaters mixes with the scent of soil and leaves. The atmosphere is strange, but nowhere near unpleasant — the magical plants rustle faintly on their own, their leaves twitch and bloom despite the season. Due to all the phenomenal spells of your Herbology professor.
You sit on a low bench near a row of puffapods, their pale purple buds pulsate with a gentle light. Your breath creates fog in the slight chill that still lingers, regardless of the heating, as you tap your fingers anxiously against your robes. The glass creaks faintly as wind blows into it. Every time a shadow passes outside, your heart jumps.
Is she finally coming?
When the door finally opens, the warmth rushes out in a wave, and Arabella steps inside. She pauses, taking in the humid haze to the contrast of the chilly weather outside. She’s enveloped in a thick blue scarf with white stripes and your house’s crest, her hands are set with gloves and a hat sits on top of her. All in the same colours. You’re actually looking the same, wrapped into thick layers of clothing that keep you safe from the creeping cold. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose is red, leaving you to wonder if your pink tint of rushing blood has passed already. And as Arabella’s eyes latch onto yours, the unspoken tension between you speaks louder. Even though it’s quiet enough to hear the subtle muffling of vines above your heads.
You don’t speak right away.
And neither does she.
When she does, her voice sounds smaller than you expected in the vast silence.
“I hate to do this given your… situation, but I’m afraid I have to. Did you tell anyone about me and Margaret?” the second she speaks out, it’s clear to you what this is about. This dates back to that godforsaken party you’ve managed to completely dissociate yourself from. Though she clearly didn’t, and you understand. The secret of her and Margaret’s relationship didn’t plague the school grounds, only selected ones accessed the information, but it’s fatal anyway. Most of the who know are Slytherins, which do shoot disgusted glances. It might have not ruined either of their reputation, nonetheless, their relationship on the other hand seems to be forever doomed. And you do feel somewhat responsible, for both not telling them upright to prepare them and for not correcting Gojo back at the world cup to avoid this miscalculation.
This is why you’re here, after all. To address the situation and put an end to the peculiar behaviour stretching in between you two.
All seems to have crumbled even more by the time you lost to gravity and fell off your broomstick, quitting quidditch.
“Of course not, I’d never do that to neither of you,” you utter, stomach twisting with guilt even though it’s not exactly a lie. But it’s definitely not the truth either. And seeing your best friend stand on the opposite side of the greenhouse, a table with plants separating you, creates an ache in your already hollow chest.
“I’m not entirely sure if I believe you, because Margaret’s brother knows about our relationship,” Arabella doesn’t let it go as easily as she usually would and she’s not to blame, you’d press for answers as well. Part of you wants to come out with the truth, but a bigger part of you is simply too terrified of the thought she could hate you for it.
For how you’ve left the situation to escalate.
“I figured, but it wasn’t me,” you remain seated, eyes glued to hers. Smiling lightly at how couple of her strawberry blonde locks poke out from under her hat, it’s a passing moment. The next second, you’re back to the guilt eating you from inside out.
“You promise?” she whispers, her words hanging above your head like a guillotine.
“I do,” the simple words taste bitter at the tip of your tongue as you speak them.
Outside, winter presses against the glass walls of the greenhouse. The sky is grey, smudged with heavy clouds. Some bare branches tap gently in the wind, ghosting over the greenhouse. Cold light filters through in weak gleams, throwing a gloomy atmosphere to your situation. The warmth in the greenhouse seems to have thinned, like it’s leaving too.
She stands across the table, her breath faintly caressing the air as she leans over the magical plants. They look tired too, their strange glows are dimming, their leaves are a little limp and their colours have dulled. Her hands move with kind and fragile grace, as if she’s going through the motions out of memory, mindlessly.
You don’t speak. You don’t move. You just watch her, this person you’ve known through every season and through all the years here at Hogwarts. And you can sense the distance between you like a blockage that wasn’t there before. The silence isn't gentle now. It lingers like the frost on the foggy windows. It’s heavy and cold, and you can feel it settling into the cracks.
You want to reach out, say something that will pull her back, keep her here. But she doesn’t look at you anymore. She just keeps tending the plants, like this is the last time, like she already knows where this is going.
And you just stand there now, rooted in place like the plants. Afraid that if you move, it will make it all that more real.
“Why have you been so distant, Arabella? I know I’m a wreck, but when we came back from the internships — you ditched me,” you suddenly gather last bits of courage to speak up, not wanting to risk losing her. So you try to communicate it, despite your own sense of heartache.
“It’s not like that, Y/N. You’re my best friend,” her voice is shaky and careful, but she doesn’t gaze up at you. Instead, she continues working and planting. Her tone brings you some sort of ease at least, it’s just as desperate as yours — indicating she doesn’t want to lose you either.
“Lately it doesn’t feel like it,” you voice what you’ve been thinking the whole time.
This makes her lift her eyes to meet yours.
“My head’s a mess too, believe it or not,” she objects, growing more defensive which isn’t at all where you were heading with the conversation.
“What’s bothering you? I’m still here to listen, even if it doesn’t seem like it,” you lean into the windowsill of the greenhouse, taking a second before talking further. This time your voice is softer as you offer, filled with concern. Hoping she’ll see how much she still matters to you.
Partially praying she feels the same way.
“That’s the trouble, I don’t know what or why I’m feeling the way I’m. It just feels like something’s missing and it’s hard to put into words,”
For the first time in a while, you feel like you’re finally acknowledging each other.
Seeing one another, bare and vulnerablez
“I think I understand,” you reassure, and you truly think you have it all figured out until she speaks up again, bringing more stirring conspiracies.
“It’s like there’s this haze clouding my mind ever since the headmaster-“ Arabella stops mid sentence, leaving you at a cliffhanger. Which earns her your blinking of puzzlement, mouth opening to encourage her to keep on with what she was about to say, but the sound of shoes crunching in the snow outside put your motions to a stop.
“Did you invite anyone else?”
“I might’ve told Margaret,” she whispers, nervous and smiling.
“Arabella!” you scold her quietly, reminding her of the fact this was supposed to be a two on two meeting.
Nonetheless, you can’t really be mad at her, can you now?
The greenhouse holds its breath and so do you as you impatiently await the arrival of Margaret. The faint rattle of the heater hums beneath the silence as you and your best friend stand, surrounded by the scent of soil and dirt. Your bodies are still, the warm blur of your intimate moment left behind. You’re close enough to feel each other’s presence, the unspoken suspended tension between you continues to tickle both.
Then, the door slams open like a gunshot.
A burst of icy wind punches through the space, scattering leaves and rattling the glass panels. The temperature drops. Snow swirls in behind Margaret’s frame. She stands in the doorway, silhouetted against the pale storm behind her. Her jaw is lightly clenched and her eyes burn with something unknown, while her chest rises and falls with depict-able fury. Her boots hit the floor hard, scattering melting snow around. The sound slices through the heavy stillness.
She storms forward, her presence cutting through the heat, dragging cold and chaos inside. The plants tremble on their stems along with you. Arabella draws in a soft breath, but doesn’t turn to face her past lover.
You feel Margaret’s anger before she even reaches you — it’s almost electric.
The quiet sacred moment is gone.
Now, it’s a battleground.
“Did you tell Gojo, Y/N?” she circles the point, straightforward. Not putting on any act to soften the blows.
“And don’t even try to lie your way out, my brother told me it was him who spoke of it,” Margaret cuts you off when she takes notice of your lips parting, ready to speak. Her actions shutting them closed again. From the look on her face and her attacking demeanour, it’s clear to you that you’re not walking out of here unscathed. She isn’t going to be as understanding as your redheaded best friend. Your palms become sweaty with anticipation as Margaret continues to burn holes through your figure, tapping her foot against the floor.
“No, listen,” you finally start, lifting your clothed hands in a defensive manner. Sadly, before you get to drag your point across, you’re abruptly put to a stop by the sound of her voice yet again.
“I want a straight and an honest answer,” she demands, your eyes briefly fleeting to Arabella who’s simply watching it unfold. Her gaze avoids yours when you sneak a glance her way, the motion causing a small flicker of pain.
“It’s worth more than just one word,” your voice is a calm contrast to the one of your friend’s beloved.
“Yes or no, it’s that simple,” Margaret doesn’t smooth down her antics, she does the exact opposite. Her words growing more threatening and harsh, on the verge of unleashing an avalanche you might get seriously caught up in.
“I didn’t, he figured on his own,” you admit after a haze of silence, your brows twitching along with the frantic beating of your heart.
This isn’t going to be easy. Telling the truth never is.
“Look, it was at the world cup. While you two were inside the tent, he kind of stumbled my way and he said he noticed,” you remain assertive, which sparks more anger in the Slytherin girl. One whom used to share laughs with you not so long ago.
“And it didn’t tick you to lie?” her sarcastic laugh coming along with her words cuts through you, causing your own irritation to build up.
“He promised he wouldn’t tell,” you respond slowly, eyes flickering between the two of them.
You don’t know why, but you thought Arabella would take your side. At the same time, this must be new information for her, so perhaps she’s learning how to hate you instead.
“And you believed that, could you be more naive? You out of all people should know what he’s capable of. He’s a Gojo,” she raises her voice, half yelling at you. Her labels of you waking up the crackling fire of anger within your chest, matching her own. The rotation of the white haired wizard in this conversation irks you, so much it drives you wild.
“I don’t need for you to remind me, Margaret. And he didn’t blow your cover on purpose, that’s what this is about,” you try to clear out the confusion, because there seems to be a misunderstanding involving her fellow Slytherin starlet.
“Oh, I think you do, because to me, it feels like you’re defending him,”
It’s a jarring moment. And it hits harder than you expect. Not because it’s utterly wrong, but because it might not be. Because deep down, there’s a sliver of truth in it you don’t want to acknowledge. Your instinct is to deflect, maybe even lash out. You tell yourself you’re just being fair. Using logic and objective thinking — anything but sympathising with him. However, it lingers. That uneasy awareness that you’ve might have stated something unnecessary and unrelated. It bothers you, so you double down to convince her and yourself as well.
“Then you clearly must be blind. I don’t know who here ghosted their friends and girlfriend,” you sent a hurtful arrow straight at her, launching with the intention to cause harm.
“Let it go, both of you,” Arabella steps in between you, waving her hands in a desperate attempt to pull you from each other’s necks.
“I was about to tell you all of the things that happened,” you add, looking at Arabella who’s shielding Margaret first. You depict the disappointment in her gaze, along with the hint of understanding.
“Yet you didn’t,” Margaret bites back, pushing past your friend’s body to face you fully.
This makes the swirl of emotions hanging on a thin rope snap, letting them loose.
“Well sorry that I was too busy with my father dying,” the loud declaration seems to put a stop to the whole shift of the planet, silence drumming through the greenhouse — Margaret’s anger easing up.
“Y/N,” is what breaks the silence.
A call out of your name, doused with empathy.
“Don’t Y/N me. What you did was unfair as well, I’m not saying I don’t understand, but you didn’t see the way you hurt all four of us. The way you hurt Arabella,” you continue to shoot, kicking and throwing hands in response to her previous aggression. Your words seem to hit a nerve, regret fleeting past her expression for a fraction of a moment. Meanwhile Arabella steps away, looking to the side.
It makes you feel good.
“What about your brother knowing is so bad if you’re not together anymore anyway? It’s not like he’d go against his own blood,” you go on with your attacks, knowing exactly which words to let out into the open to cut her open.
“This is a low blow, Y/N,” she manages barely, holding her emotions at bay.
“Whatever you did before was just as bad, if not worse,” is the last thing you voice out before you storm in the direction of the door.
You slam the greenhouse door open with a sharp crack, rattling the frame as you burst through it. Behind you, voices still echo — calling out your name in raised voices. The sounds familiar but suddenly distant. You don’t care what they have to say now. The fight had already sunk its teeth too deep.
The moment you step outside, winter hits you like a slap. Frigid cold slicing through the lingering warmth clinging to your robes. Snow drifts down in lazy spirals from the sky, settling in your hair and on your shoulders. The castle looms far ahead of you, dark stones blurred behind the falling duvet of snow, but you don’t head that way at first. You just walk, fast and without a picked out direction — needing distance more than shelter.
The snow crunches under your feet as your boots sink into it with each step. Your chest burns, not from the cold, but from the fight which had just occurred. Every word still rings in your mind, every look of betrayal carved into your memory. Your hands are clenched, nails digging into the flesh of your palms. The only thing grounding you as you head into the unknown, the falling snow disorienting you.
The anger begins to falter.
It always comes like this. Hot at first. Consuming your whole being and forcing you to channel it out, and then suddenly, you become cold. Hollow.
Your footsteps slow down. The fire behind your ribs hesitantly dying out, leaving behind a quiet ache, as if your body experiences something your heart hasn’t caught up to yet. The wind picks up, tugging at your robes, curling around you like another presence — making your now soaked hair a mess.
You stop near the edge of the lake, where the ice stretches out like cracked glass. The world around you is utterly still, the kind of silence that only comes with snow. No footsteps rushing after you. No voices calling your name. Just the soft hush of snow falling and the raw throb of emotion you can’t outrun no matter what you do.
Your shoulders shake with the upcoming tears that come without permission. They well up your eyes. Warm and blinding, streaming silently and staining your cheeks. You hug yourself with your arms, the snow soaking through the fabric of your robes as you stand in the eye of the snow storm. The whiteness in the air bites at your cheeks, numbing them as you spill your overwhelming emotions.
Your fury melts into something far more fragile. The kind of pain that doesn't roar, but lingers.
Needing to be felt.
And it’s not just the fight weighing you down, it’s all at once.
The castle is quieter than you’ve heard in a while. It’s right before curfew, and the air in the corridors is heavy, almost syrupy with stillness. You push open the great oak doors of the Hogwarts library, the scent of parchment and ink pushing through your nose for the last time. Your eyes are incredibly heavy with hours of studying for your upcoming graduation exams. Centuries of history still echoing faintly in your head, laced with a dry tone of Professor Binns’ lecture while your consciousness drifts.
You walk with slow, lazy steps — too tired to focus, barely aware of where your feet are taking you. Still too aware of the fight you experienced yesterday evening, the wound raw. Head filled with arguments you could’ve used instead, or the reason behind of Arabella’s behaviour. The sentence she didn’t get to finish. The dim candlelight lines the walls, their flames low and flickering. The halls stretch endlessly in both directions, twisted and familiar, even in the lucent light.
You distantly think to yourself that you must’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere near the staircase in spite of the exhaustion, because you’re out of your usual path.
You take a turn around the corner and pause.
Where there was only bare wall a moment ago, now stands a larger door. It’s tall, framed with a wooden arch. The wood is aged, not as polished. An odd feeling stirs within your insides, for a moment you consider if this is a mere dream or if your mind is playing tricks on you. However, it’s like the hallway itself is holding its breath with you. You notice carvings embroidering the doorframe, shifting ever so slightly as you stare, never settling on one shape. You recognize some of the symbols from your studies — protection symbols, things old and powerful.
You didn’t summon it.
At least, you don’t think you did.
Though something buried in the depths of your being feels drawn towards it. You reach out, fingers grazing the cool metallic handle. The moment you come to contact with it, the door creaks open with a soft whisper, like a sigh escaping into the night. Your breathing hitches with doubt, wand ready at your side as you try to make out a reasonable explanation to this.
It might be The Room Of Requirement which appears when a student is in need pf something — the room providing whatever is fit for the situation.
Why you, out of all people?
The chamber beyond radiates warmth, and is inviting, nearly comforting. The stone floor is gone, replaced by soft rugs that would muffle your footsteps. Cushioned chairs sit in a half-circle around a low crackling fire. The shelves are filled with books. You have to blink to adjust your vision, to convince yourself what you’re seeing is true.
Before you allow yourself to step inside, the heavy entrance falls shut and the wooden door melts back into a stone wall. You stare at the wall with confusion for a few moments, completely baffled by the gesture. Until something alters the air. It’s subtle at first. A sudden gust of breeze that seems to come from nowhere, causing goosebumps to appear all over your body. You straighten, the hairs on the back of your neck rising.
You’re alone when you rotate your body to glance at the laid out hallway, or well not quite. The atmosphere casts a strange glow. The surroundings appear to be heavier and much colder, while your head turns slowly, listening to the looming silence — gut screaming that something’s up.
“Who’s there?” you whisper out, more quietly than you anticipated as your breathing catches in your throat, wave of conspiracy seizing you.
You’re met with no answer, despite your acknowledgment of the gnarling sensation. You begin to consider yourself paranoid.
Just as you’re about to shake everything off, a sound echoes through the space, which puts you back in your spot, freezing you.
“I know someone’s there,” you voice out, loudly this time and with more confidence. You’re prepared to be met with yet another ripple of nothingness. However, you’re mistaken. As the sound of your voice jumps from wall to wall, a mop of white locks emerges from nowhere. Spilling into space, moulding from emptiness. Your jaw hangs ajar at the image, you see Gojo Satoru’s head floating in the air with no other body parts.
No limbs, no torso.
Just his head.
“Caught me redhanded,” he spills out meanwhile snickering, as if this was a normal situation to be caught up in, though his ways don’t really surprise you any longer. Knowing him for as long as you do, it’s not shocking news he’d lower himself to this level. He’s fast to strip himself of the invisibility shielding him, revealing his grand trick to be a piece of clothing.
So that must be what provided him with invisibility.
You wonder how many times he might have lurked along without your knowledge. Hell, he could’ve done anything with that cloak of his. The memory of the conversation you overheard at the party weeks back in time comes flooding back to you, laced with bitting suspicion.
Could this cloak be a part of their plan?
“Were you sneaking up on me?” you place your palm on the swell of your hip, demanding a clear response as you suspiciously look him up and down. A dark burgundy fabric set with tiny constellations and starts resting in his grip.
“I wouldn’t necessarily call it sneaking,” his eyes roll in a playful manner, careless, which isn’t uncommon for him.
“Don’t you know it’s sort of – I don’t know – creepy?” you point out, turning the corners of your lips downward. Pouting faintly at his smugness while you try to piece together the information, thinking of all the times he could’ve been there. And you wouldn’t know.
At least your friend’s accusations of your crazy behaviour weren’t true — you did capture his white hair in the hallway late at night countless of times.
He was there.
“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t know you were here, so relax,”
“Right, as if that changes anything,” you scoff, your mind racing with conspiracies.
“Were you expecting someone else?” you decide to prob, his expression growing more serious. However, you don’t entirely trust it, nor him.
“Doesn’t concern you,” he objects before you eye him one more time, and with that you turn on your heel — leaving him hanging without any further notice. Though a sense tugs at your heartstrings, an urge to speak out the ideas turmoiling in your mind.
With his cloak, you could slip into the headmaster’s office without being spotted and turn it inside out. Who knows what sort of information you could get your hands on. Perhaps it’d be able to explain Arabella’s strange behaviour, as well as her zoning out. She did mention the headmaster. But for that to happen, you’d have to bite down your pride and ask the Slytherin for his help. You tighten your fist, innerly debating if it’s worth it to you.
“Gojo?” you call out, a tryout — just in case he’s not on his way or draped in his invisibility already.
“Mhmm?” and he isn’t.
“I could use your help,” you breathe out, soft and laced with surrender — wholeheartedly prepared for his acts, and the possibility of being rejected.
“My, I thought I wouldn’t live long enough to see you asking me for help,” his voice seeps out with pure satisfaction, his tone scraping your nerves and skyrocketing your blood pressure. And as you finally turn to face him, his arrogant grin doesn’t ease you.
You decide to bear it instead of lashing out.
“I just need to borrow whatever you’re holding,” your hand points to the cloak thrown over his forearm, eyes scanning it.
“My invisibility cloak? Are you up for some mischief?” his palm slides over to his chest and your gaze follows, watching as his long digits spread across his robes.
As if he’s proud you’re suggesting something so forbidden.
“If so, I certainly am interested,” he adds, nodding his head.
“It doesn’t concern you,” you reply with the same indifference, giving him taste of his own medicine. Which he doesn’t seem be fond of, because the corners of his lips turn into a frown and his brows furrow lightly.
“No cloak for you then,” he huffs, turning his head to the side, keeping his nose high up.
Prideful bastard.
“Seriously?” your voice is full of disbelief while you absorb his words, thinking he surely must be joking.
“Seriously,” he repeats firmly, lips pouting. Eyes half-lidded.
Your blood boils at the action of his behaviour, however, you’re well aware you need his cloak for your plotting to work out. And if you share one simple information, he won’t be able to use it against you. As long as he isn’t aware of all the circumstances, he wouldn’t be able to turn you in, because at the end of the day it’d be his cloak you’d be wearing.
And you’re hundred percent sure things like these aren’t allowed on the school grounds.
“Fine,” you state, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at his pretentious antics, “I need to break into the headmaster’s office,”
As soon as those words fly out your mouth, his smirk is quick to return. And you mentally prepare for another set of his picking.
You remind yourself it’s for the greater good.
“And here I was thinking you’re too goody shoes to even consider such a thing,” the white haired menace teases and you loathe it, beyond explanation. Especially the way he’s slightly hinting at your label of the Head girl. It drives you insane, so much you wonder if what lies in the office is even that important, but you refuse to back down from the conversation now that you’ve actually asked. Though it’s safe to say if nothing new awaits you in there, you’ll be irritated for going such lengths to figure no information out.
“Will you lend me the cloak or not, Gojo?” you demand, not pacing around it and getting straight to the topic.
“Under what condition,” he lifts his point finger in the air, holding it in front of you as he drags his words out — painfully slow.
“Name it,” you declare, pushing down the need to snap.
“I’m coming too,” he cheekily announces, smiling from ear to ear.
It seems to knock the wind out of your sails again.
“What? Absolutely not,” you laugh out, shaking your head in both disagreement and shock at his audacity.
“Shame for you,” he shrugs, waving the cloak in your face to rile you up even more.
And it certainly seems to work on you.
Your heart drums against your ribs, anticipation flows through your veins like a drug intoxicating you. Your inner strength fails to withstand its demand as the need for a douse of what lies within the stone walls of the office devours you. No price seems big enough to not be paid, and you instantly scold yourself for even thinking about submitting to his condition. You take in deep breaths, staring at the young wizard in front you who’s quietly watching you back — not saying anything and waiting, because he can tell from the look on your face that you’re considering his offer.
Oh, you’re so going to regret this later on.
“Alright, alright, I’ll let you come,” you finally exhale, the action takes a lot of effort as there’s nothing you despise more than relying on him out of all people. And shamefully, you find yourself in these types of situations with him quite often.
More than you’d like.
You’re not met with an answer, only a chuckle, which speaks more than anything else at the moment.
Knew you would cave, that’s what it sounds like to you.
Gojo proceeds to spread out the cloak, throwing it over his broad shoulders and leaves his arm stretched out — inviting you to join him. In that moment you realise what you’ve truly gotten yourself into.
“What do you need in the office anyway?” he questions curiously, keeping his globes — the colour of water depths — intently peeled on your frame, which is closing the distance between you. It doesn’t slip your attention, and neither does the way they glow in the dark, the light of the moon casts reflections that are similar to sea foam in his dangerously iridescent eyes.
“Something of Arabella’s,” you mumble and it’s not entirely the truth, though it’s more than he deserves to know and you figured it’d speed things up if you’re somewhat co-working. Your body slides next to his, tucked safely under the blanket granting a power you never knew you needed. His fingers brush against yours as he hands you the end of the cloak for you to hold.
“Sure,” he hums, and you know he doesn’t completely trust you either.
The castle is a maze of silence by this hour. It’s little past curfew, past the hour when even the portraits begin to drift off to sleep. The walls are with no shadow of your reflection as you pass, the floor groaning ever so lightly beneath your careful steps. Each of them feels like small earthquakes due to your overconsuming anxiety. You know no one can see, yet it’s still there.
But that’s only your mind playing tricks on you, you’re safe beneath the thin layer of the cloak that provides you with an advantage.
There's barely any room for the two of beneath it as you clumsily walk, so close that your bodies are practically fitted together. Every shift, every breath, every brush of cloth or skin is shared between you. The closeness is unavoidable. Hip gently pressing into the length of his body, arm brushing against his as you motion forward. His shoulder bumping yours every few steps, but neither of you mention it to one another. It’s intimate and impossible to fight as there’s no space to distance yourself. And even though you know he feels your warmth and breathes the same air, he remains indifferent.
The silence between you is charged with everything that hasn’t been said and everything that perhaps never should be. You shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t even be here, shouldn’t be risking getting yourself expelled.
Nonetheless, here you are. Together. Covered by a cloak that hides you from everyone sights, but not from each other.
Your mind throws non audible insults your way, wondering how you managed to wind yourself up with him once more, when you exactly know what kind of a person he is.
A pretentious jerk who seems to find you annoying just much as you find him.
It’s all worth it in the end if it’s for your best friend, right?
His scent envelopes your senses — something which you’re weirdly familiar with, something that unmistakably screams him — and with every step toward the Headmaster’s office, it becomes harder to focus on why you're going there in the first place. His hand brushes past yours again, this time it lingering for half a heartbeat too long. Your heart rings in your ears, thudding against your ribs like it’s trying to be heard by him, while your senses are clouded with his proximity. You’re not sure if he can feel it, but it wouldn’t surprise you. That’s how close you are.
A stair creaks beneath your feet, urging you to both freeze, instinctively holding your breath. You notice his chest rising and falling back in its place before he leans in, whispering something barely audible
“Left, quickly,” his breath hits your ear, warm and deliberate, sending a shiver down your spine.
You move together, carefully and silently. Your movements seem to be more in synchrony now than when you marched forward for the first step, like dancers who’ve done this before countless of times.
Both of you are okay with taking a risk involving this sort of adrenaline, nonetheless, your closeness is alien. The feeling of being wrapped up in a piece of magic fabric with him, just on the edge of doing something wrong is unlike anything.
And as you near the stone spiral staircase that leads to the Headmaster’s office, your mind should be on the goal, the reason you’re sneaking through the halls. But all you can think about is the weight of his body pressed along yours, the way your knees crash when you pause at the top of the stairs, the way the cloak drapes around you — protecting you like a sacred mystery.
You’re almost there now, part of you can’t wait to arrive. Can’t wait to break the spell thrown at you, can’t wait to forget how the press of his body feels against yours. It’s a forbidden action to be so near him without anyone else’s presence, by you and everyone else due to your backgrounds and oh so many other things.
And tucked under the cloak, hidden from the world, you dare to hope he’s thinking the same thing.
“I’ll take the watch, you do whatever you need inside,” the white haired wizard declares with ease, his breathing a little heavier because of the stairs you had just climbed. You shoot to look up at him, nodding your head in confirmation.
Then you slip from the embrace of the cloak, feeling vulnerable. And when you look over your shoulder, you’re met with a simple image of the stairs. You know he’s still there, at least you hope he’s, nevertheless — it leaves you crippling with adrenaline.
You focus what’s ahead of you, meanwhile the pounding of your primer organ swallows you, it seems like there’s a second heartbeat in your chest as you face the door of the headmaster’s office made out of dark oak. There lies a little nameplate with letters carved into it, in bold letters. Your fingers eagerly raise your wand into the air, prepared to charm your way inside.
“Alohomora,” you faintly mumble, the tip of your wand sparkling with a ripple of silver light. The sound of it is sharp and heavy, meaning the lock gave away smoother than you had expected it’d. You hesitate then, it’s almost too easy.
With taking a last glance at the corridor, you push the door open just enough to sneak inside without letting it scrape. The air inside is dry, the kind that settles in rooms filled with too many books. It smells of old parchment, candle wax, and some burnt herbs. Arabella could surely decipher which herbs, a thought crosses your mind amidst your entrance. You quietly shut the door behind you with a soft thud.
Bookshelves tower along the walls, some overstuffed with dusty grimoires and overused scrolls, others perfectly organised — magical theory, forbidden transfigurations, ancient bloodlines and spells. Sorts of books you don’t get your hands on everyday, but that’s not why you’re here. Behind the desk stands an average sized cabinet of drawers, some hazily hanging half opened. And lastly, a wide desk dominates the center of the room — its surface a battlefield of papers, crystal vials, and half-burned candles.
You trace around the desk quietly, fingers grazing the surface as you search. Notes are scribbled in an unfamiliar handwriting, covered by opened books. Maps of the school grounds lay spread out, marked with strange, shifting ink. You can’t tell what it is for, so your gaze shifts directions, catching something out of place. A sheet of parchment half-buried under a pile of herbology formulas. You slid it free, mapping out the deep crimson wax its sealed in with your fingers. It’s stamped with a sigil you don’t recognise. Its curved lines form a circle, a serpent wrapped around a stylized eye. Not the school crest. Something remotely similar to Death Eaters.
Could it be Gojo’s family crest?
You examine the letter in all possible angles, cursing under your breath, because it’s still sealed and there’s no way you can just rip it open without anyone taking action. With frustrating blooming in your core, you place it where it was. Forcing yourself to browse further, even though seeing the crest already filled you with enough of worries.
We have a plan to follow, Robin’s words play in head once more.
A plan for what?
Your eyes sweep the room again, this time with organisation — steps leading you towards the tall bookshelves that lem the office walls. Looking for any irregularities. Most of the spines reveal expected titles of standard magical texts of history, but one stands out more than the others. A thin book with no title, kept between two enormous grimoires. It slides out due to your force and one flip through the book is enough to figure the pages are blank. Your nostrils are attacked with a sharp tinging.
It’s enchanted.
You tuck it under your arm with care and head back toward the average sized cabinet which is planted with rows of locked drawers. A soft whisper is all it takes to preform the unlocking charm once more, forcing the highest drawer open. This one resisted at first, but it eventually opened with a reluctant sigh.
Inside are documents sorted into neat folders, each labeled with a name. Some you recognise — professors, students, even a few graduates working for the ministry. Handful of the names are marked with a red underlining. You pick these out, browsing throughout them to look for any clues. It wasn’t hard to put together their similarities, all the students come from a muggle family. One of the names decorated with the red underlining belongs to Arabella.
Your heart sinks at the sight, not sure why as there’s no real reason to worry yet.
You flip it open, and the first page instantly has you in a chokehold.
“Caught near The Astronomy tower. First abomination. Memory charm applied to witnesses."
Something is happening at this school and whatever it is, the headmaster is not just aware of it. He’s involved in it. You swallow hard, frantically skimming over the bylines on other pages with your wand in hand — casting a bright light, but there’s no more trace of what occurred.
“Someone’s coming, hurry,” a warming comes from the direction of the door, Gojo’s hushed voice snapping you back to reality.
Panic seeps over you, choking you and pushing you to fly to your feet and close the drawer with all the folders, quickly mumbling a spell to lock it. The thin book tucked under your arm is a painful reminder that you’re nowhere near the finish of your investigation. You’re not stupid enough to keep it, steal it with you. So you place it back between the thick grimoires at the top shelf.
Your wide eyed gaze flickers in between the strange map and Gojo’s figure poking out of the cloak as he holds it high in the air, welcoming you to join him.
Conflict boils within you, take it? Don’t take it?
You can’t wait any longer as the footsteps coming down the stairs dangerously take upon volume, so you swiftly grab it and proceed it to slide into the waistband of your uniform while the Slytherin watches — growing with fear he’ll never let bubble to the surface.
Your mother must be turning in her sleep, because this certainly isn’t what she meant by keeping a low profile.
Both of you now stand by the doorway, wrapped in the protective layer and pressed close against each other’s side. The situation barely under your control.
The two of stand frozen, afraid to let the door fall closed.
You can feel his heartbeat, pounding in rhythm with yours. The gesture soothing you, knowing you’re not the only one affected by this.
“Flinch,” you mouth under the safety of the cloak, judging by the additional four legs tapping against the stairs.
Gojo’s the one to close the door with silent precision, charming the door to lock — you note he works calm, regardless of the pressuring nature of the situation.
The first sliver of lantern light spills from the stairs leading upwards. And you don’t look back as the two of you rush down the other direction. Not a full sprint, not with Flinch so close. Your feet nearly step on the cloak several times, almost tripping. That’s probably why your footsteps echo too much through the staircase. You wince silently with every step, sensing just how loud the two of you are in such a hurry.
Meanwhile behind you, Flinch's muttering turns sharper and more audible.
“Who's there?” he barks out, overflowing with suspicious.
“I heard you,” his raspy voice is followed by a scratching meow of his cat.
As soon as you reach the bottom of the stairs, you head left — pulling your partner in crime with you. Ducking down a narrow corridor which rests off the main hall. It’s one of the older, less-patrolled routes.
“Quick,” you hiss under your breath, the white haired wizard barely making your words out.
You grab his hand out of habit, mindlessly dragging him along with you. And together, you stumble through the side passage, turning randomly at each split hallway. Each turn feels too loud, every breath too sharp. You can basically sense Flinch being not far behind, you hear the wheezing effort of him moving faster than he’s fit for. You round the last corner and threw yourself against a wall — your bodies latching onto to it like lizards, gripping for dear life.
Footsteps close the distance between you, passing by your invisible frames just as quickly.
Flinch grunts while his lantern sways in the air. And then he moves on.
Silence.
Your limbs shake with adrenaline, letting go of his hand without any further up-due. And finally, it feels like you’re able to breathe freely again. The Slytherin looks at you from the corner of his eyes, which are wide. The fabric of the cloak shifts and creates a shimmer shared only between the two of you.
“That,” you whisper “was too close,”
“It was rather fun,” he jokes, breathing out heavily as if in relief. The gesture doesn’t rile you up, instead, you find it amusingly refreshing after what you’ve been through together. Huff of your laugh pierces the loud silence, taking him by a surprise as this is your way of actually agreeing with him on something.
It’s definitely the adrenaline talking out of you.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” the Slytherin draws out, and you’re certain he saw you showing the unknown map into your uniform. You feel it pressed against your skin, the material made you uncomfortable throughout your escape.
“Mostly, yeah,” you confirm, not thinking much about it and simply resting with back leaned into the wall.
You barely register the motion of his movement before he’s right in front of you, close.
Too close.
His hand comes up, resting itself firmly against the wall just beside your head. His fingers splay wide, veins visible beneath the fair shade of his skin. A second later, his other hand joins the other one on the opposite side — locking you in. Your mind ceases to function, the unexpected unfolding situation brings you shock. Not sure whether to push him away or to let it happen.
Your back presses into the wall even further, and you can feel the coolness of it chilling you through your robes. It anchors you in place while his body, just inches from yours, radiates a heat that prickles across your skin. Every breath you take feels shorter, more shallow.
Gojo’s face is close now, close enough that you can count his lashes if you dared to look long enough. His breath ghosts over the swell of your cheek, landing where it sends a racing shiver down your spine. You can’t move — not because of his proximity, but because his presence is so magnetising — it’s as if the very air around you bends to his will.
And his orbs are the worst of all, piercing and merciless. Seeing past your set up walls of protection, leaving you bare under his vision which is the last thing you need him to do.
“You felt it too, didn’t you?” is all he brings himself to speak out loud, baffling you even more as your eyes don’t know where to stop first. At how his strands of hair curl upward — resting near his sides, at how the bridge of his nose beams with the reflection of the moonlight. Or at the way his lashes kiss his cheeks each time he blinks. Perhaps at the slight twitch of his eyebrows due to his fleeting gaze, or at his lips. The way they’re parted while he stares down at you, his tongue sweeping over the bottom part.
So many options, so little time.
“At the party,” he mumbles gently to add precision, which is a rare sight. But you don’t appreciate the subtle reminder of the night, the last night where all felt like it should. Nonetheless, you phantom far too quickly what he means. It’s not something you could easily forget, no matter of your current life could wash away the pit of swirling emotions he caused to rise to life at the party.
And it hits you, this is the boy who swore to make your life a living hell. The one whom your friends loathe. Most of all, he has a girlfriend too.
Just exactly what are you letting him do?
Why?
And suddenly, while waiting for you to speak up, he puts his finger to his lips — signalling for you to be quiet.
A second later you understand what it means.
Flinch strolls the corridor again, your eyes following his movement. Gojo’s alerted frame blocking your full view. As your eyes follow Flinch walking right past you, you meet his iridescent globes which don’t leap away from yours.
“I’ll walk you to your dorm,” he mumbles under his nose when Flinch is at a reasonable distance. Away from where you stand. His hands falling back to his sides, freeing you.
You don’t answer, you chose to not address the awkwardness the question he asked earlier stired.
The journey to your dorm room is quiet, unspoken tension lingering in the air as you guide him to your house’s safe space. As you walk, close to each other as ever, it’s clear you’re both hanging onto what just went on. Busy with recalling the fleeting moment.
And when you part ways, briefly sparing one another a nod of acknowledgement and whispered farewell — you’re feeling even more odd.
You curl up under your bed covers after you slip past Arabella’s bed, knees pulled tight to your chest with heart thumping in your ears. The room is still, occasional snoring coming from Arabella spreads through your shared room. Everything is dark, expect for the glow of your wand which lightens up your space beneath the covers of your bed.
"Lumos,” is all it takes to conjure up light for you.
In your hands lies something old, something curious. The worn piece of parchment, folded so many times the edges are soft. With a breath held in your chest, you spread it open to be met with lines blooming across its surface like spiderwebs made out of ink. It depicts rooms, corridors, and tiny moving footprints. Names scribbled beside them. Flinch walks, pauses, turns and so on and on.
It’s alive, and suddenly the castle isn’t just stone.
You’re not alone in a way. In this small tent of bedsheets and wandlight, feeling like the map chose you because of the strong pull you feel towards it. Like the secrets it holds have waited patiently for your arrival.
You’ve never heard or seen anything of the sort, it’s extraordinary.
Your eyes trace Flinch’s footsteps before scanning the map further. There’s not many people wandering around, and it’s no wonder since the time is close to midnight by now.
Your breath catches just then.
There, just above the Great Hall, a name you never expected to see at this hour as you thought he returned to his room like you did. The tiny inked footsteps of him haunt the corridors you explored together moments ago. You blink once, twice, as if the name might change. Smallest part of you hoping it will, or that he’s taking a longer route to reach his dorm.
But it doesn’t disappear. It stays in place, impossibly real.
Your heart beats louder beneath the covers of your blanket now, closely watching him pause by the staircase leading to the west tower.
What’s he doing there?
You don’t know why you’re still watching, but wonder and dread fuel your curiosity so you keep on observing. Tips of your fingers shaking lightly at the thought of what you might figure out.
The glow from your wand casts long, trembling shadows as you watch the Slytherin’s footsteps finally stop — reaching his destination.
Astronomy tower.
He reachs the top. And he stands there, perhaps waiting. Not moving. Not pacing. Simply waiting.
You don’t know what you’re watching unfolding, but you can’t look away as your heart instantly sinks to the bottom when two other names appear on the map.