── ❨ ⸝⸝ 𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑. ❩ he sneaked into your room during late nights!
ೀ 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔 - fluff, mentions of getting caught, fluff, mentions of being risky, yearning (?), made this while half asleep lmao, and really awkwarddddd affection.
⊹ ⸝⸝ .ᐟ rudo┆ enjin ┆tamsy┆zanka┆corvus ┆august┆ gris┆ follo┆fu ┆zodyl
୨୧ 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒’ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 - so like i realized i never posted this because i was so deep into playing tomodachi.. lmaoao
𝐑𝐔𝐃𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐂 -
the halls were quiet by the time you cracked your door open just a little, your heart beating fast like it always did on nights like this.
the lights were dim, most people already asleep, and you leaned out just enough to check both sides of the hallway.
no footsteps. no voices. good. you gave a small signal with your hand, barely visible in the dark.
a shadow moved from around the corner, quick and silent.
rudo slipped through the hallway like he belonged there, even though he definitely didn’t. he kept his hood low, eyes sharp, watching everything. when he reached your door, he didn’t say anything at first, just looked at you like he was making sure you were really okay.
“took you long enough,” he muttered, but his voice was quiet, softer than usual.
you rolled your eyes a little and grabbed his sleeve, pulling him inside before anyone could see. the door shut with a soft click, and for a second, everything felt still. safe.
rudo glanced around your room like he always did, checking every corner, every shadow, like danger might be hiding there. but once he was sure, his shoulders dropped just a bit.
he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
“you shouldn’t keep sneaking me in like this,” he said, but he was already stepping closer to you.
“then stop coming,” you whispered back, teasing, even though you both knew he wouldn’t.
he huffed under his breath, shaking his head. “yeah, not happening.”
you smiled, and that seemed to be all it took. the tension in him eased more, like just seeing you made everything else fade. he reached up, brushing his hand lightly against yours at first, like he was checking if it was okay.
when you didn’t pull away, his fingers slipped between yours, holding on tighter.
“it’s different here,” he admitted quietly. “with you.”
the room felt smaller when he stepped closer, the space between you disappearing. you could hear his breathing, a little uneven, like he wasn’t used to this kind of calm. like he didn’t trust it to last.
you squeezed his hand. “you can stay for a bit. just… not too loud.”
he let out a quiet laugh, almost surprised. “me? loud?”
you gave him a look, and he smirked just a little, the kind he only ever showed around you.
after that, he relaxed more, sitting on the edge of your bed like he’d done it a hundred times before. you sat beside him, close enough that your shoulders touched. neither of you said much for a while. you didn’t have to.
outside, everything stayed quiet. inside, it felt like time slowed down just for the two of you.
and when his hand found yours again, holding it a little tighter this time, it felt like he didn’t want to let go anytime soon.
𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍 -
the knock came out of nowhere—three quick taps that were way too loud for this time of night.
you froze.
another knock. louder this time.
“hey—open up,” enjin’s voice came through the door, not even trying to be quiet.
your heart dropped. “are you serious…” you whispered, rushing over and pressing your ear against the door. the hallway was silent, but that didn’t mean anything. anyone could walk out at any second.
“enjin,” you hissed through the door, barely opening it a crack. “lower your voice!”
he leaned against the frame like he had all the time in the world, giving you a lazy grin. “what? i missed you.”
“you’re going to get me in trouble,” you muttered, grabbing his sleeve and yanking him inside before anyone could see. you shut the door quickly, locking it, then turning back to him with a look.
he didn’t look worried at all.
if anything, he looked amused.
“you worry too much,” he said, stepping closer like the whole thing didn’t matter. his voice was still a little too loud, echoing just enough in the small room to make you nervous.
you immediately reached up and covered his mouth with your hand. “shh.”
he blinked, surprised for half a second… then smiled against your hand.
“seriously,” you whispered, leaning in a little, “people are sleeping.”
he gently pulled your hand away, but didn’t step back this time. “and? makes it more fun,” he murmured, quieter now—but there was still that playful edge in his voice.
you narrowed your eyes. “this isn’t a game.”
“maybe not for you,” he teased, glancing at the door like he was daring someone to hear. “but we didn’t get caught, did we?”
you hesitated.
the hallway stayed quiet. no footsteps, no voices. nothing. enjin noticed, and his grin widened just a little, like he’d just proved his point. “see?”
you shook your head, trying not to smile, but it was hard when he looked so pleased with himself.
“you’re impossible,” you muttered.
“yeah,” he said easily, stepping closer until there was barely any space left between you. “but you still let me in.”
your breath caught for a second, and he noticed that too. his expression softened just a little—not much, but enough.
“don’t worry,” he added, quieter now, leaning in just enough for only you to hear. “i’ll keep it down… mostly.”
you gave him a look, but didn’t push him away.
somehow, even with how loud he was, he still hadn’t gotten caught.
𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐒𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 -
the night felt softer this time, quieter, like everything was already on your side. you sat on your bed, glancing at the door every few seconds, waiting.
then—two light taps.
not loud. not rushed. just enough.
you slipped off the bed and walked over, opening the door just a crack. tamsy stood there, calm as ever, hands tucked in his sleeves, eyes flicking down the hallway before meeting yours.
“hi,” he whispered.
“hi,” you whispered back, already stepping aside to let him in.
he moved in smoothly, barely making a sound, and you shut the door behind him with a soft click. for a moment, neither of you said anything. the quiet wasn’t tense though—it felt easy.
tamsy glanced around your room, taking it in like he always did, then looked back at you with a small smile. “you weren’t asleep yet.”
you shook your head. “i was waiting.”
his smile grew just a little, softer at the edges. “i thought so.”
he stepped closer, slow and careful, like he didn’t want to break the calm. you noticed how quiet he was compared to… certain other people. no loud footsteps, no teasing voice echoing through the room. just him.
“no one saw me,” he added, almost like he knew you were thinking about it.
you let out a small breath, relaxing. “good.”
he reached out, gently brushing his fingers against yours first, giving you time to pull away if you wanted. when you didn’t, he laced your fingers together, holding your hand lightly.
“you’re always so careful,” you said quietly.
“i have to be,” tamsy replied, voice soft. “i don’t want to mess this up.”
the words hung there for a second, and something in your chest warmed. you squeezed his hand a little.
“you won’t,” you said.
he looked at you like he was checking if you really meant it, then nodded once, like that was enough.
instead of staying by the door, he let you guide him further in, sitting down on the edge of your bed. you sat beside him, shoulders brushing, the quiet wrapping around you both.
tamsy leaned slightly closer, his head tilting just enough to rest near yours. not heavy, not demanding—just there. his hand was still in yours, thumb moving slowly like he didn’t even realize he was doing it.
“see?” he murmured. “we’re fine.”
you smiled a little, leaning into him just enough to match.
𝐙𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐀 𝐍𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐊𝐔 -
you sat up in bed— hearing a knock, made ur heart racing as you stared at the door. no one ever knocked this late unless something was wrong… until another knock that was the same rhythm.
you rushed over, opening it just a crack, and there he was.
his eyes met yours the second the door moved, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. he just looked at you, like he needed to make sure you were really there.
“what are you doing here?” you whispered quickly, pulling him inside before anyone could see.
he stepped in without hesitation, and the second the door shut behind him, the tension around him snapped.
his hands found your arms almost instantly, gripping just enough to ground himself. “i missed you,” he said, voice low—but not as steady as he probably wanted it to be.
you blinked, a little caught off guard. zanka wasn’t usually this direct.
“you couldn’t wait until morning?” you asked softly, glancing at the door for a second.
“no.”
the answer came too fast. too honest.
your chest tightened a little at that.
he let out a breath, like he’d been holding it in the entire way here, then ran a hand through his hair. “i tried,” he added, quieter now. “didn’t work.”
you didn’t tease him this time. you could tell—he really meant it.
“you’re going to get caught,” you murmured, but your voice didn’t have much weight to it as you stepped a little closer.
“then i’ll deal with it,” he said, eyes locking onto yours again. “just… not before i see you.”
the hallway outside stayed silent, but neither of you were really paying attention to that anymore.
zanka’s grip softened, his hands sliding down to hold yours instead, but he didn’t put any distance between you. if anything, he stepped closer, like he was afraid you might disappear if he didn’t.
“i hate not being able to just come see you,” he muttered.
“you just did,” you pointed out quietly.
he huffed, a faint, almost frustrated sound. “yeah. sneaking around like this.”
you gave a small smile. “and you’re still here.”
that seemed to ease something in him.
his shoulders dropped a little, and he leaned his forehead against yours for a second, closing his eyes like he just needed that closeness.
“i’m not staying long,” he said, even though he didn’t move away. “just… needed this.”
you nodded softly, your hands tightening around his.
“okay.”
for a moment, everything slowed down. no noise from the hallway, no interruptions—just the quiet sound of both your breathing in the small space.
zanka exhaled slowly, like he could finally relax now that he was here.
𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐕𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐇𝐀 -
you heard a knock, but you hesitated before opening it.
corvus stood there in the dim hallway light, expression unreadable at first—like always. but his eyes shifted to you immediately, and that was the only sign he’d been looking for you.
“you’re late,” you whispered automatically.
“i was in my office,” he replied simply, like that explained everything.
you stepped aside to let him in, and he entered your room without a sound, closing the door behind him with careful control instead of rushing like some others would.
for a moment, the silence settled.
then you glanced toward the door again, nerves catching up. “we’re gonna get caught doing this.”
corvus followed your gaze, then looked back at you.
“no,” he said calmly.
you frowned a little. “you don’t know that.”
his expression didn’t change, but his voice lowered slightly. “i do. i’ve already made sure this doesn’t become a problem.”
that made you pause.
he moved closer, not invading your space, just close enough that you didn’t have to raise your voice anymore. “if anyone asks,” he added, “this is within my authority.”
you stared at him. “that’s your solution?”
“it’s the correct one,” he said, like it was obvious.
you let out a small, disbelieving breath, but there was something steady about him that made it hard to stay worried. like he wasn’t guessing—he was simply certain things would be handled.
corvus glanced at you then, softer for a second. “you don’t need to be anxious about it.”
you shook your head slightly. “you make it sound easy.”
you looked at him again, and for once, there wasn’t that cold distance people usually talked about with him. just someone who had decided he was going to stand here, in this moment, without letting anything else reach it.
𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐙𝐀 -
there was a really loud knock, like it was some urgency. then another one right after it, like whoever was outside couldn’t stand waiting.
you opened the door a crack and immediately saw august standing there with a folder pressed to his chest, eyes bright like he’d been holding something in all day.
“let me in, let me in,” he whispered, way too excited for someone trying to be quiet.
you blinked. “it’s literally midnight.”
“yes. perfect timing,” he said, like that explained everything.
you sighed but stepped aside, and the second he slipped inside your dorm room, he was already moving like he couldn’t contain himself. he shut the door carefully—at least he remembered that—but then turned back to you instantly, practically bouncing in place.
“okay,” he said, lowering his voice only slightly. “i finished it.”
you frowned. “finished what?”
he lifted the folder like it was the most important thing in the world. “the sketch.”
you paused. “you came all the way here… at night… to show me a sketch?”
he looked personally offended by your tone. “it’s not just a sketch.”
then he opened it.
inside were pages of designs—clean lines, careful details, fabric notes written in the margins. it was clearly something he’d been thinking about for a long time. his eyes flicked between you and the paper like he was waiting for your reaction before he could breathe normally again.
“this one,” he said, tapping a specific design, “i couldn’t get it out of my head until i fixed it.”
you leaned closer, studying it. “you snuck into my dorm for this.”
“i didn’t sneak,” he said immediately, then lowered his voice again. “i… strategically visited.”
you gave him a look.
he ignored it and stepped closer instead, pointing at another detail. “this part here—i changed it three times. three. do you know how annoying that is?”
“you’re smiling,” you pointed out.
“because it worked,” he said quickly.
the excitement in him was impossible to miss now. he wasn’t even thinking about being caught—just about showing you every detail like you were the only person whose opinion mattered right then.
he flipped the page again, leaning in closer. “and this version—this is the one i actually like. it feels right.”
you studied it for a moment, then nodded slowly. “it’s good.”
that was all it took.
his shoulders dropped like he’d been holding his breath all day, and he looked relieved in a way that made him even more energetic right after. “see? i knew it.”
you shook your head. “you could’ve waited until morning.”
he leaned back slightly, grinning now. “and risk forgetting how it felt right now? no chance.”
for a second, the room was quiet except for the rustle of paper as he flipped it shut again, still buzzing with excitement.
he looked at you then, softer but still bright. “i just needed you to see it first.”
𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐑𝐔𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐍 -
you heard a soft knock against your door.
you paused, already half-sitting up in bed, listening. another knock followed a few seconds later, like whoever it was wasn’t sure they should even be there.
you got up slowly and opened the door.
gris stood in the hallway, hands in his pockets, shoulders a little tense. he didn’t say anything at first. just looked at you like he was making sure you were real and not just something his tired mind made up.
“you’re up late,” you whispered.
he gave a small shrug. “couldn’t sleep.”
you studied him for a second, then stepped aside to let him in. he walked in quietly, like he didn’t want to disturb anything—not the room, not the night, not you.
the door clicked shut behind him. for a moment, he just stood there. then he exhaled, like he’d been holding that breath all the way here.
“i didn’t mean to come,” he admitted quietly.
you tilted your head. “but you did.”
he nodded once.
silence settled between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. it felt more like he was trying to find the right way to say something he didn’t usually say out loud.
gris looked away for a second, then back at you. “i just… missed you.”
your expression softened a little. “you could’ve waited until morning.”
“i tried,” he said. “didn’t work.”
he stepped closer, not too much, just enough that the distance between you felt smaller than before. like being here made him less restless than he’d been all night.
“it was quiet,” he added after a second. “too quiet.”
you let out a small breath, understanding more than he said.
you gave him a small nod toward your bed. “you can sit.”
he did, slowly, like he wasn’t sure he deserved the space but taking it anyway. his posture relaxed a bit once he was there, hands resting loosely between his knees.
you sat beside him.
for a while, neither of you spoke.
𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎 𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐎 -
you stirred in bed after hearing a knock on your door, confused, until it came again. softer this time, but more certain.
you got up slowly and opened the door just a little.
follo stood there in the hallway, hair a bit messy, eyes tired in a way you weren’t used to seeing. he looked like he’d been standing there for a while already, deciding whether to actually do this.
“can i come in?” he asked quietly.
you blinked. “it’s late.”
he nodded like he knew that already. “i can’t sleep.”
that made you pause.
he shifted slightly, glancing past you into your room, then back at you. “i tried. i really did. it’s just… not working.”
you sighed a little, but stepped aside anyway.
he walked in carefully, like he wasn’t sure how welcome he actually was, and you shut the door behind him. the click sounded louder than usual in the quiet room.
for a second, he just stood there again.
then he rubbed the back of his neck. “sorry. i know this is weird.”
“it’s fine,” you said, already heading back toward your bed. “just don’t make noise.”
that got a small, relieved breath out of him.
he followed you over but didn’t immediately sit. instead, he watched as you got comfortable again, like he was checking if this was really okay.
you lifted the blanket slightly. “you’re just standing there.”
“yeah, i know,” he muttered, then finally sat on the edge of the bed.
there was a pause.
then, quieter: “i just… couldn’t settle.”
you glanced at him. “why?”
he hesitated, like the answer was simple but still hard to say out loud. “everything’s louder when i’m alone.”
that made you go quiet for a second.
he leaned back a little, exhaling slowly, eyes half-lidded now like just being in the room was already helping. “it’s better like this,” he added.
you shifted over slightly. “you can lie down.”
he looked at you like he wasn’t sure he heard you right.
“just sleep,” you clarified, pulling the blanket open a bit more. “you’re not going to relax sitting like that.”
after a moment, he nodded and carefully lay down beside you, not too close at first. like he was still giving you space, even now.
but the quiet stretched between you in a different way now—softer, warmer.
he stared at the ceiling for a bit.
then, almost under his breath, “this is helping.”
you hummed softly. “good.”
𝐅𝐔 𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑 -
fu knocked so soft.. so soft you couldn’t tell at first.
you stayed still for a moment, listening. nothing. then—another knock. lighter this time, like whoever it was was about to change their mind and leave.
you got up quietly and opened the door just a crack.
fu stood there.
he looked like he’d already apologized in his head a hundred times before even speaking. hands close to his sides, shoulders slightly drawn in, eyes flicking up to meet yours and then away again just as fast.
“sorry,” he said immediately, voice low. “i… didn’t know if i should come.”
you blinked. “it’s late.”
he nodded quickly. “i know. i know, i’m sorry.”
another pause.
he swallowed, clearly trying to find words that didn’t feel like too much. “i couldn’t sleep,” he added, quieter. “and i kept… thinking.”
you tilted your head slightly. “about what?”
he hesitated so long you thought he might not answer.
then: “about you being awake and me not… wanting to be alone with it.”
his ears went a little red after that, like he regretted saying it the second it left his mouth.
you sighed softly, but not unkindly. “you could’ve just knocked normally.”
“i didn’t want to bother you,” he said quickly. then corrected himself even faster. “i mean—i didn’t want to bother you more than this already is.”
you gave him a look.
he shrank a little, like that look alone was enough to make him rethink everything.
“fu,” you said, softer now. “you’re already here.”
that made him go quiet.
he glanced at the doorframe, then back at you, still unsure. “is that… okay?”
there it was. the real question underneath everything.
you stepped back and opened the door wider. “come in.”
he hesitated for half a second—like even permission didn’t fully convince him he was allowed—then carefully stepped inside.
the door closed behind him with a soft click, and he stood just inside your room like he wasn’t sure where he was supposed to exist in it.
you motioned toward your bed. “sit.”
he did, slowly, still cautious.
fu kept his hands folded tightly in his lap, gaze lowered. even in silence, he looked like he was trying not to take up too much space.
you sat beside him.
that made him glance at you briefly, then away again, but he didn’t move farther back.
“you don’t have to apologize for coming,” you said quietly.
he shook his head once. “it feels like I should.”
“why?”
he paused.
then, even quieter; “because i wasn’t sure i was allowed to want to see you this much.”
the honesty in it made the room feel stiller.
you looked at him for a moment, then nudged his shoulder lightly with yours. “you are allowed.”
he didn’t answer right away.
but his shoulders eased just a little.
after a while, the tension in him started to fade—not all at once, but slowly, like he was learning the room wasn’t going to reject him for being there.
he finally leaned back slightly, resting his hands more loosely now.
𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐘𝐋 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐍 -
zodyl knocked like he didn’t know how too.
though you still you opened it.
zodyl stood there in the hallway, hands slightly stiff at his sides, eyes not quite meeting yours. he looked like he had something to say, but couldn’t figure out where to put it.
“what is it?” you asked gently.
he didn’t answer right away.
his gaze flicked past you into your room, then back again. like he was distracted by something he couldn’t explain.
“zodyl?” you tried again. softer.
he shifted slightly, then finally spoke, voice low. “i couldn’t stay there.”
you waited. “why?”
he hesitated, jaw tightening like he didn’t like the question.
no answer came.
just silence.
you studied him for a moment, then stepped aside anyway. “come in.”
that seemed to settle something in him. he walked in without another word, careful but direct, like once the decision was made, he didn’t need to think about it again.
you closed the door behind him.
for a few seconds, he just stood in the middle of your room, looking around like he was orienting himself.
then he moved toward your bed.
not in a way that felt careless—more like he’d decided that was the only place that made sense right now.
he sat down slowly, then lay back, staring up at the ceiling.
you blinked. “you’re not going to answer me?”
no response.
you walked over a little. “you came here in the middle of the night and you’re just—ignoring me?”
his eyes shifted slightly toward you, but he still didn’t speak.
another pause.
then, quieter than before: “i didn’t know what to say.”
that made you stop.
he turned his head just a little more, like it was easier to talk when he didn’t have to look directly at you. “everything i tried sounded wrong.”
you sat on the edge of the bed near him. “so you just… came here?”
a faint nod.
silence stretched again, but it felt different now—less empty, more full of things he wasn’t saying out loud.
you leaned back slightly, giving him space. “you could’ve just said you missed me.”
he went quiet for a long moment.
then, barely audible. “i didn’t know how.”
you let out a small breath, looking down at him. “you don’t have to say it perfectly.”
his eyes stayed on the ceiling, but his shoulders loosened just a bit.
after a while, he shifted slightly—just enough that he wasn’t rigid anymore, just existing there instead of fighting it.
“is this okay?” he finally asked, still not fully looking at you.
➷summary: a princess betrothed to a roman emperor whom she despises for his cruelty, sets her sights upon an ethereal looking arrival into the arena and is struck with an overpowering curiosity. the gladiator’s skilfulness earns him the emperor’s favour, keeping him alive for now, while the princess sneaks through the silence of the night to meet with him in secret — blooming with something the emperor could never bring to life
➷genre/tags: gladiator au, forbidden romance, sneaking in the night, historical au, the roman empire, strangers to lovers, female princess reader, gladiator gojo, smut (in the second part), angst with a happy ending, bit of fluff, smitten gojo, lots of yearning
➷warnings: implied misogyny and sexual harassment, description of violence and injuries/death, mentions of blood and vital organs, weapons, reader called princess a lot (cause she’s one, like literally)
➷word count: 11.3k
a/n: hello lovelies, it’s been so long since i last posted! i am genuinely finding myself in the biggest writer slump i’ve ever experienced, hopefully that’s past me now. here’s the promised gladiator au. in the end I decided to separate it into two parts, otherwise it’d be way too long and i doubt that anyone would actually read it. be sure to let me know if you’d also like the second part as well. no more yapping, enjoy!
The Colosseum is filled to the brim with people, standing and cheering loudly as the fight unfolds in front of them right down in the arena. The sun rays down at the circle shaped creation with no mercy, its strength wearing you down. Eager and bloodthirsty roars echo through your ears as swords clash, the sound of metal blended with the overwhelming buzzing of people. You fight the disgust lacing into your features as you sit in the area reserved for royalty, seated inches behind the emperor himself as his bride to be. Your fingers grip onto the handles of your seat, causing the gold jewellery you’re draped in to shackle. You blink, and blood seems to gush out, spilling on the ground due to the merciless slash of a sword blownwed by the winner — piercing through the flesh of the loser. Screams pinch through the air, earning frantic chants from the audience.
The sight hurls your insides, causing a nauseous feeling to take over you as the intestines of the fighter flee out of his dismembered body, falling to the ground without any trace of life. Even more aversion swallows you as you catch the grin tugging at the ruler’s lips from your angle. He’s quick to stand up and clap, the whole arena dying down into pure silence in response.
“You have fought well my champion, though today’s fight is not yet to be finished,” his deep voice spills through the Colosseum, the audience remains quiet as you continue to be on the edge in your seat.
“Rise,” the Emperor tilts his head in your direction, commanding you. You don’t dare to defy him in any slightest as you know any of your slip up could resolve in one of his episodes. You delicately lift your body from the wooden throne, quick to close the distance between you, and to step under the weight of the burning sun which paints the sand floor in golden fury. You create a shield with your palm, blinking away the sunlight before locking your gaze with the man you’re promised to.
The man’s hand sneaks around your waist, bringing your side to his. Your hands fly out to rest at the railing made out of stone, feeling a piece of security. The emperor looks down at you with a twisted smile, deliberately crafted golden crown consisting of laurels resting at the top of his head.
“Bring out the prisoners,” his other hand gripping a golden cup is lifted into the air, a gesture of bidding. As soon as he speaks those words out, large gate opens up. The guards push dozen of men inside the arena — their hands buckled together in one iron chain, bringing their rate of survival against the champion to absolute zero. With spears pointed at their figures, they have no other option than to step on the battlefield under the eyes of hundreds.
Most importantly, the emperor himself.
“My lord, you are going to have them fight in chains?” your soft voice breaks out into the open, questioning the outlook of the situation. The men are offered a weapon against all odds, but being connected to one another is seemingly putting all of them into a disadvantage. From their filthy and bruised appearance it’s clear these men are mere prisoners or slaves. Trapped souls dragged into the arena, not as warriors but as bait for the amusement of the citizens.
“Yes, is it not exciting? It is all for you, my future bride,” from the tone of his voice it’s absolutely clear this man who is yet to be your husband is serious, assuming he’s pleasing you with this dehumanising act. It awakes a terrifying and electrifying wave of anxiety within you. The emperor is known for his cruel ruling and rational punishments, regardless of it, it never ceases to shock you just how merciless he can be.
You don’t protest, only smiling at him and moving your hand to rest at his chest in gratitude. All of it a scene, an act you feel you’re bound to preform in exchange for your safety. You have no power to do anything but watch, your eyes squinting upward at the sea of spectators before falling on the muscular figure standing across the arena in chains. The champion covered in bronzed armor that glimmers with polish, he stands with the casual grace of a justified killer. He’s armed with a simple curved blade which is still dipped in blood from its previous encounter, and a round shield, bearing the imperial crest. The champion is a living legend among the audience — undefeated and unscathed.
They chant the name of the gladiator as if it’s a sacred prayer to the gods.
It sickens you.
The dozen men murmur among themselves, panic rising in their expressions as they throw their sword from hand to hand. A nervous gesture signalling their rising worries as the undefeated gladiator makes his way towards them.
“We cannot fight him head-on. But if we use the chain together as our weapon, then we might have a chance,” a man placed at the end of the chain mumbles to the other men, but panic has already taken its hold. A few men scream and rush forward, dragging the rest behind them. The chain becomes chaos, jerking bodies in every direction and dragging some of them to the ground while The champion moves.
He’s swift, a blur of lightning speed as there’s no baggage holding him back.
The first man falls, his chest opened with a single slash of metal. Another tries to keep away, unfortunately he’s yanked back by the chain, straight into the champion’s killing stroke — keeping his streak of robbed lives. A third decapitates himself by bringing the weapon to his throat, ending his misery before he’s killed by the hands of others. Blood paints the sand, pooling on the floor. The survivors stumble back, heaving with eyes wide open as sweat drenches their bodies and are left bereft of oxygen. Four lie dead now, perhaps five. It’s hard to keep a track.
The crowd is screaming, drunk on the violence and the man who spoke before forces himself between the others, grabbing the chain and snarling something which goes unheard by the audience. Leaving you to guess whenever they listen or lead themselves towards death.
And indeed, they hear him. Out of fear, if nothing else.
A man with unusual ball of white hair directs them to move in a circle, to feint and pull in coordinated tugs. They spread out, using their own bindings as both weapon and trap. When the champion charges, confident. They act. One man dives in sacrifice, drawing the champion’s first swing. Another yanks the chain, unbalancing the warrior.
Like a tide, they shift, loop, and bind.
In moments, the champion is tangled into the chains with no room to move his body, imprisoned just like them.
Without a scratch, not hurt, but humiliated and bested.
The crowd holds its breath. The emperor whose face is painted with neutral expression as he stands beside you, raises a hand to give his final judgment.
His thumb points downward.
Death.
The champion’s eyes shift into utter panic, unable to move.
“Kill the man, drive a blade through his throat and you may live another day,” The emperor calls out to the six men who survived the bloodbath. Your head jerks towards him, brows lifted in surprise at the punishment to his favoured champion. The man captured by the chained prisoners breathes hard, unable to mask his fear.
“Your majesty, with all due respect, spare the man’s life,” you wrap your arms around his bare biceps, closing the distance between you before anyone else can interfere to kill.
“What was that, princess?” his cold gaze falls down at you and you tense up with a swirling cannibalistic terror that you might have overstepped your set limits.
“He is your champion, let him have at least a gracious death,” you modify your words, offering a kind hint of a smile in contrast to his calculation gaze.
The crowd awaits his answer in silence, your words not audible to any one else.
“You are quite right, dear,” his palm pats your shoulders, his proximity distancing and you loosen up in quiet relief. From both his words and his action of leaving your personal space.
“You,” the emperor’s finger points down at the man who strategically brought his champion to defeat “you will face the champion one on one. Battle for either life or death,”
Not exactly what you had in mind when you pleaded for the man’s life to be spared.
Your gaze follows the direction of his finger, landing on the clever prisoner who saved five other lives along with his own. The man’s hair is coloured pure white, the exact shade of your delicate tunic — unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. His features are quite a mess from the distance you’re facing him, the details tucked away. The blinding white of his locks and a reflection of his iridescent eyes are the only two things to be mapped out.
“I do not kill for amusement, your highness,” the prisoner is fast to decline, bowing down to his knee. The other men mimicking his motion, which only appears to anger the ruler further. You stand unmoving, frozen in fear of what’s coming.
“You are brave to defy my orders,”
“Do it, or else you and your men are doomed for the same fate,” the madman demands with a crazed smirk, turning his gaze to glance at you briefly. From below, the victorious prisoner looks up towards the royal box as the emperor announces his decision, breathing heavily with sweat and blood running down his face. His eyes dart to you standing next to him, noticing you for the first time. Seeing you look down at him, the man's exhausted gaze meets yours fleetingly, but his attention is quickly called back to your soon to be husband.
“As you wish, your highness,”
He has no other choice but to fight.
The sun blazes higher than moments ago as it reaches its highest peak, casting long shadows of the Colosseum. The crowd roars once more like a tidal wave of bloodlust and anticipation. At one side stands Valerian, the undefeated champion who’s been gifted a second chance, armour glinting like a god’s wrath in the sweltering weather, though there’s a certain hesitation in his movements now.
At the other side stands the white haired prisoner— no title, no name, no armor, just chains recently broken and scars scattered across his body. The crowd jeers, expecting slaughter. But there's something in his eyes — calm like the sea before a storm, it creates a pit in your stomach.
The horn rings and Valerian moves forward like a warhorse, his massive blade cutting through the air. The unknown white haired man dodges with impossible grace, grabbing a fallen shield from the sand, and ducking under the swing. The wind coming from the blow nearly taking his head.
He answers with a broken spear, driving it into Valerian’s knee.
Gasps echo through the arena, painting an amusing grin on the emperor’s lips as the giant falters.
From now on it’s a dance — brutal and desperate. Valerian attacks with the fury of a man defending his honour, but the unfamiliar prisoner slips through his reach again and again, turning every mistake into an advantage. He moves like a ghost with precise strike.
Another drops of blood stain the sand, leaving marks of the battle.
The prisoner’s shoulder is cut.
Valerian’s leg wobbles.
They circle around each other, crowd no longer cheering as the fight leaves them breathless.
Then, in a haze of a motion, the prisoner feints left, ducking from a wide swing. Only to drive a dagger which was stolen mid-fight into Valerian’s side. The champion instantly drops to his knees, meeting the gaze of his opponent one last time before collapsing to the ground like a house of cards, unmoving. The arena erupts while the bloodied prisoner stands and towers over the champion’s dead body, collecting himself from the overwhelming adrenaline of the fight.
“What do you think of him, my dearest?” it pulls you of the awing trance, sending you back to present. Not knowing whenever you should be disgusted or pleased with how the fight had turned out. Your hands soothe down your tunic, eyes fleeting between the victor and the man you’re betrothed to.
“He has proven himself worthy,” you shakily breathe out near the shell of his ear, orbs still unknowingly flickering down to sneak glances at the extraordinarily looking man with fur of white hair. Meanwhile you’re held by the one who’s been letting the empire to starve and suffer under his reign.
One thumb pointed up, mercy.
The marble halls of the palace glisten under torchlight. Silent and still as though the night itself holds its breath at your bravery. Somewhere beyond the columns and guarded doors, Rome sleeps — drunk on the violence performed in the arena earlier that day.
You move like a shadow. A princess, betrothed to an emperor you neither love nor trust, slipping through a hidden passage behind your chamber’s tapestry. Feet tapping against cold stone. A hood drawn over your head to conceal your face as a secret from passersby, draped in your silken robes.
Every creak of wood, every echo of footsteps sets your heart pounding incredibly fast in your ribcage. The guard’s numbers are smaller at this hour, their concentration dulled by routine and drinking too much wine throughout the day. You time your movements with the changing of the watch, slipping behind statues, darting through moonlit courtyards, where a loyal servant from your home waits at a forgotten gate meant for deliveries, holding a satchel and a stolen dagger.
Your eyes meet briefly, both of you know what’s at stake if your soon to be husband was to find out about your whereabouts.
He’d have your head.
You carefully step out into the open, beneath the night sky that belongs to no ruler. The city looms ahead. The streets dangerous, filthy and still alive. You inhale its scent which consists of smoke and liquor. Behind you, the palace glows like a gilded cage. A cage where you’ll harbour by the end of the night anyway.
You don’t look back again, despite the guilt and fright nibbling at you.
As you stroll through the alleys of the city that’s drifting off to sleep, you no longer feel like a locked up princess who’s been sent off into enemy territory to play out a pack of marriage to attempt for peace.
The Colosseum spreads out before you, vast and silent beneath the cloak of the night sky decorated with small lights of the stars — towering arches of the architectonic building looming like a massive beast, the roar of the crowd now just a ghost echo in the stone. You approach it with no hesitation, heading for a narrow side gate. One not meant for nobles like yourself, but for the lowest layers of the society.
A man scouts the entrance. Old, bend, one eye milky with age. He doesn’t speak and neither do you. He simply nods and lifts the iron latch with a screeching sound. A debt repaid, nothing more. One’s coins you never deemed to recollect til now.
Inside, the air shifts as you descend underneath the huge arena. It’s surprisingly cold and damp, your silky robe not providing enough of warmth. The flicker of torches guides you down the narrow stone stairs, the further you go, the more of death hangs in the air. You move quietly like a mouse through the corridors, hood drown low to keep your identity a secret, robes brushing the filthy floor. The cells appear, row opposite to another row, dark iron bars separating men from the world above and from each other. Some sleep. Others sit in silence, eyes distant. Barely acknowledging your wandering gaze. Your attention peaks all over the place, glancing in all directions to not miss the glimpse of white hair.
You have no idea what force urged you to hurry down here, risking your life for a stranger — as if the gods poisoned you, rushing you in here.
You freeze in motion.
He sits before you like a god carved from war itself. The torchlight dances across his skin which is faintly burned by the overwhelming force of the sun, tracing outlines of his defined muscles. His chest rises and falls with a slow, steady rhythm, broad and unyielding. You could see the trail of old battles on him, pale scars that curl across his shoulders, a jagged line down his side.
They should repell you.
They don’t.
There he sits in the shadows, head of white hair bowed, arms resting on his knees. No chains this time, but he’s caged nonetheless. You clear your throat, gentle enough to not scare him, and it works like a charm. He instantly snaps his gaze in your direction, straightening his posture — arms hang heavy at his sides now, thick with strength, veins popping like vines winding over stone. Even at rest, there was a quiet violence to him, mixed with ethereal features of those worthy of being a prince. You had seen marble statues with less perfection, but none with heat of a real man.
“Who is there?” he asks, his voice a low growl as he tries to make out your figure in the darkness which perfectly helps you mask your identity as well.
“It matters not,” you respond firmly in the dark, keeping a reasonable distance between you and the bars. Partially out of fear, who knows what else he’s capable of after what you saw in the arena. The newly crowned gladiator looks at you, his expression guarded with suspicion but also curiosity. A scoff escapes past his lips.
“You are hurt, are you not?” worry embodies your tone, not sure why as this is the first time you’re ever directly speaking to the gladiator.
“What is it to you?”he mumbles, sounding tough and unaffected by your mysterious presence. The man's hand moves to his upper body, carefully touching the slashed area of his shoulder, and wincing slightly at the lightest of touch.
“Nothing. Still, takes this,” you mumble with all the politeness you were raised to offer, regardless of the strange circumstances you’re finding yourself in and bend down to slide a numbing cream in between the bars. In a quick motion, not wanting to risk anything.
“It is a numbing cream, for your slash,” the gladiator gazes up at you with narrowed eyes after he scans the cream, a mix of confusion painting his face. He reaches out for the box you slid in, only then noticing the intensity of his penetrating orbs. The colour of them is darkened by the dim lighting, nevertheless, they still shine like they’re crashing waves of sea water splashing against the rocks at shore.
“How did you get your hands on this?” he questions gruffly, though there's a note of gratitude in his voice, while he looks between the cream in his hand and your cloaked presence.
“That is unimportant,” you breathe out softly, swinging your hand in the air to brush it off. You tug your hood lower as you feel it sliding upwards, revealing parts of you.
“If you are not here to mock me, what for then?”he utters neutrally, his voice less rough than the first time. His hand hesitates for a moment, dipping his fingers to gather the cream so he can apply it on his injured shoulder. He’s wincing lowly as soon as the cool substance touches his raw wound. A soft sigh follows, his nostrils flaring.
“To help you, I know it is something you are not used to. I simply thought you fought well,” you mumble back with a hint of nervousness, hands soothing down your silky robes — the hems layered with dirt from your outing. The white haired gladiator listens to your words, his expression hardening at the mention of his performance in the arena. His digits finish massaging the cream into his injury, treating it.
“I fought well, so what? Not that it matters. I will just have to fight again tomorrow, and the day after, and then the day after,” he rises to his feet, startling you a little with the swiftness of his movement. You retrieve a step, tilting your head up to somehow catch a glimpse of him — the hood blocking your view.
“You fought unlike anyone I have ever seen before. I am sure you will earn your place here. Temporarily, of course, before you are freed,” you whisper into the dead of the night while his hands reach for the bars, knuckles turning white from his tight grip. It makes you swallow a lump forming in your throat, this is probably the longest you’ve ever talked to a man alone. It doesn’t help he’s practically stripped of his garments, muscular chest to your display.
And most of all, he’s a vicious killer.
“Freed? You either must be delusional or naive if you think that will happen,” the gladiator can't help but snort at your words as he retorts, skepticism returning to paint his sharply defined features. Desperately trying to see past the hood covering your face.
“You simply have to be good, keep winning and charm the audience,” you advise him with all you’ve come to know over the months you spent here, even though he seems to find your behaviour naive. He falls silent at your statement, contemplating your advice.
“And how do you know that, huh?” he hums, still wary — letting out a long sigh and leaning against the chilly wall of the cell, gaze fixated on your masked figure.
“I have lived in city for a long time to see,” what you say is not hundred percent right, however, your time spent in the city is great enough to know how things work around here.
“Why not stop walking around the bush and tell me who you are?” he leans forward into the bars again while still fixating his somewhat cold orbs at you, demanding to drop the mysterious act.
“Trust me, it is safer for you if you remain unaware of my identity,” you chuckle quietly to yourself at his pressing demand, finding his presence shockingly welcoming. The gladiator listens to your words, his expression hardening at your chuckle. He lets out a low huff of annoyance, but curiosity pierces his system.
Just who exactly are you?
“You someone of importance? Someone with power?” he goes on, pushing you to give him answers.
“No one has power in city expect for the emperor,” you frown automatically at the harsh reality of being in the hands of someone so cruel. His expression mirrors yours, your truthful declaration resigning with him.
“You got a point there, mysterious stranger,” he mutters, his hand mindlessly touching his shoulder where the injury is. As if out of habit. There's a moment of silence between the two of you in which you step closer, hand reaching for the bar — your gold ring illuminated by the moonlight revealed to him, unbeknownst to you.
“I will bring you food the tomorrow, if you live, that is,” his eyes linger on the gleaming gold of your ring, processing your words, expression conflicted. Part of him wants to know more about you, to uncover the mystery that shrouds you, but he also understands your sense for secrecy.
“Alright," he finally responds, his voice gruff but with a hint of resignation.
“What is your name?” you keep standing by the cell, less afraid of what he’s to do. Curiosity gets the better out of you and since you’re half hidden in the safe embrace of your robes and hood, you ask. Otherwise you wouldn’t be as brave.
“Two can play the game,” he curves his lips into a lazy grin, huffing out and refusing to provide you with it.
“See you tomorrow, oh saviour,”
Days stretch out into weeks and each night, you slip past the velvet-draped guards and silent marble corridors due to the help of your loyal servant. Your heart pounds louder than anyone’s footsteps as you sneak through the palace each night, crippled with fear that you may be caught. One would expect a practiced ease due to how often you preform, however, it seems to make an opposite effect. You’re worried your luck of being unnoticed will run out. Though you can’t bring yourself to sleep peacefully without paying the white haired man a visit.
The gladiator. Your gladiator.
At first you told yourself you were doing him a favour, treating his slash. That you have no reason of coming back here.
And yet, here you are.
Time and time again.
He waits for you in the shadows of the cell below the training pits, always stiff at first, as if unsure if you’ll come. As if each time might be the last and you wonder if someday, it might truly be.
His body is bruised and bandaged from battles played out earlier in the daylight in front of hundreds, but you never him voice his complains out loud, regardless of how roughed up he ends up.
You silently admire that.
Meanwhile you’re betrothed to the emperor, unbeknownst to your gladiator, weak and forced to follow his orders. You’re the empire’s prize, it’s what they call you. A future empress, beautiful and admirable. Expected to bring prosperity and sense into the crazed mind of the ruler. Bring children to continue the lineage. But they don’t see how your hands tremble when you hear the crowd roar, how you flinch at each touch of your soon to be husband, how you perk your ears each night — hoping you’ll hear silence and not his footsteps.
What frightens you perhaps the most out of all is each time the gladiator steps into the arena. It feels like a piece of you goes out with him. You’re on the edge of your seat, nervously gripping at layers of your tunic as metal clashes in the arena. Each time he fights to live another day.
He might have earned the favours of people effortlessly and the emperor himself, nonetheless, how long can you steal moments in the dark with him before the light of the world finds out? Before the emperor learns that his bride’s heart doesn’t belong to him, that it never did nor never will. That instead, it belongs to a man with blood coating his sword at the end of each day?
Who knows what would happen then, in the best scenario — he’d have you both killed.
Despite all the risks, you don’t regret coming to him every night like a prayer and leaving each morning, feeling like a sinner. Though every day, you fear the gods are listening, judging and plotting against your odds.
“You are Greek, I can tell from your accent,” you finally let out what you’ve been meaning to for the past few days, from the moment you picked up on his light accent. It wasn’t noticeable at first and those not born on greek lands would overlook it entirely.
“I was born there, yes,“
“I was leading an army into a battle. Lost, got captured, travelled miles without knowing where we are headed. I stopped hoping after endless days of walking, and by a miracle landed here —into an arena in the capital of the empire,” he shares his story with you, glazing you with a form of vulnerability and the simple reality behind his path leading him to you. It leaves you feeling sorry for him, but you don’t wish to shower the gladiator in pity. You’re sure he’s had enough of time to do that himself.
“No wonder you are as skilled,” you point out instead, tone tender as ever. He snickers in response, watching your cloaked figure from the corner of his eye.
“Where from Greece are you?” you investigate, since there’s not much you know about the man and he’s the closest thing to home in months. He’s cautious, only offering what you’re offering. So you’re afraid he’ll brush you off like you usually do with him.
“I was born on Mykonos, however, my time there was short lived as I was quickly transported to Athens for training,” the mention of his home sparks a memory of your own island within you — shimmering in the late afternoon sun, its walls and painted columns casting long shadows. The sea breathing quietly in the distance, and the scent of salt and thyme carried on in the breeze. Bells echoing from the high towers, marking time. You’d walk alone, past frescoes of dancing bulls and gods with lion eyes, your sandals gliding over mosaic floors. A child of Crete, promised to an emperor across the great body of water. One you barely knew, but whose ships brought you to the heart of the empire. Your home might not be your home anymore, though your heart will remain anchored on the island forever.
How you dread being separated from it.
Knowing the foreign gladiator was brought from the southeast, thrown to the beasts just like you were, brings you a sense of comfort.
You’re about to answer, opening your mouth to spill something of your own, but the interruption of footsteps prevents you from it. You’re quick to stand to your feet, brushing dust off your silky robes. Panic seizes you, heart thundering in your chest as the sound circles closer and closer, until you’re met with the face of the gatekeeper.
Relief fast to embrace you.
“I am incredibly sorry to interrupt, but here is what you asked of me, princess,” the gatekeeper bows a little as he hands you the list of all the gladiators in the Colosseum, eager to depart from the both of you. Your efforts to keep your identity hidden are crushed in a fraction of seconds, by one word. You grip the papers tightly, pushing it into your pocket without giving it a look. Papers which were meant to reveal his name to you.
The blue eyed warrior stops dead at the sound of the man's words, his thoughts racing as he processes your title spoken into the hollow walls of the Colosseum.
"Princess?" he whispers, stunned at the unexpected revelation from the gatekeeper. The white haired gladiator stares at you in disbelief, his gaze no longer curious, but now utterly shocked from your secret flattening. He takes a step closer to the bars, his expression bathing in disbelief while trying to make sense of the situation. You offer him nothing but overpowering silence, head tilted to stare down at the floor.
“You are royalty?” he ponders — hushed, needing to hear the words coming from you so he can be sure his mind isn’t playing any tricks on him. He takes yet another step towards the bars, reaching his hand out to wrap it around the metal bar.
“No, you must have misinterpreted the situation,” you attempt to play the doomed situation down, voice shaken up due to the unexpected reveal. The man on the other side of the cell certainly doesn’t buy it as he continues to tower over you.
“Do not take me for a fool, I heard him call you a princess,”
You remain unmoving, debating innerly on what should your next step be. He knows, there’s no turning back. You could run, never show up here ever again. Only watch him from the box, married to the brute.
No.
Without a word, you lift your head from the ground, letting out a deep and long breath. Your hood slides backwards, revealing the lower part of your face. The gladiator is left breathless as he watches the scene he fantasised about for so long playing out before him. He’ll finally be able to capture the face of the one who’s become his reason to keep fighting. In the faint light, he can make out the delicate curve of your cheek, the gentle slope of your nose, and the fulness of your lips.
He leans in closer, nearly coming into contact with the iron material. The beat of his heart quickens, crazily drumming against his ribs, mind struggling to reconcile the fact that royalty’s standing right in front of him.
The intensity of his icy blue globes suffocates you with anxiety, hand reaching into the air to brush away the hood entirely. Revealing your face, the one he’ll surely be certain to put a label to. And indeed, the gladiator’s breath hitches in his throat as you push away your hood fully, showing him your face in its full glory and offering vulnerability. In the soft light, your features are even more graceful and delicate than he could have imagined.
As he studies your face with great detail, the realisation dawns on him. He recognises you. You’re the woman who sits by the emperor's side everyday, watching each fight play out with a horrifying expression painting her beautifully sculptured features.
You’re basically forced to dart away your gaze, his eyes urging you to feel like you’re standing completely bare in front of him. You survey the long corridor, brushing a strands of your coloured hair behind the shell of your ear. Though his attention never entirely leaves your frame, eyes tracing every feature, studying the way you brush away your hair. He can't help but be captivated by your beauty — similar to the one gods posses — a wave of conflicting emotions swirls through him yet again. He should be respectful to you as a princess, bow down to you. Though there’s a part of him that simply sees you as this mysterious woman who visits him night after night. Nothing more, nothing less.
A mysterious woman whom he thought to be a commoner, turning out to be a princess betrothed to the emperor himself.
“I suppose it must be tad of a shock for you,” you huff out, continuing to look somewhere to the side. Successfully avoiding the gladiator’s eyes, not fully ready to capture them once more.
“You could say that,” he replies, still studying your averted gaze, the sight bringing him to chuckle softly in amusement. He’s baffled by the overflowing emotions you’re portraying, the way you’re unable to fully lock your eyes with him — he’s taken aback by it, even more so since you’re the closest he’s been to a member of a royal family.
He should be the one to be nervous, not you.
You lightly shake your head, in disbelief of the situation, which causes your hair to come undone from the clip that had been holding it together at the back of your head. A few front strands fall into your vision, urging you to blow them away with your mouth. The gladiator watches with a devoted look, the hair framing the shape of your face like you’re in an ethereal painting. He then fully presses his body into the metal forming the bars, face sticking out in between the space with the intention of wanting to reach out and touch you.
He’s so close, regardless of the barrier separating you. One brief movement and he’d be able to touch you, but he’s careful to respect your boundaries. A certain warmth radiates off him, luring you to give in as his breathing fanes across your face. Still, his orbs remain utterly glued to the sight of you — admiring the shape of you and your soft looking hair enveloping the sides of your hair.
His mind is clouded with confusing desires.
The gladiator can't help but be taken aback by your alluring presence, his heart skipping a beat as you leap closer. He watches you intently, his gaze locked on your face while his mind races with thousands of thoughts per second. He reaches out, fingers gently grasping one of the bars — touch tender despite the rough calluses on his hands, but rather swift in response to his own pleas.
Your body flinches away out of fear at his fast movements, a habit you harvested throughout your months at the palace. The emperor is unpredictable, you never know if he’s about to soothe your hair, pinch your skin or something far worse. You curse yourself innerly for your doubts, because you trust this caged man more than you ever would your soon to be husband.
“I didn’t mean to startle you, princess,” his voice is smooth as he makes out your fear, even if it appears for a mere second. He is quick to retrieve his hand from the bar, remorse filling him up to the brim. He shouldn’t have let himself go, shouldn’t have forgotten that you’re royalty and you’re not used to being sought after so casually.
The gladiator whose name you’re still unaware of steps back, creating distance between you in an apologetic manner.
“No,” you let out quietly, closing the distance again to seek out his proximity by sticking your hand in between the metal barrier, waiting for him to take it and scoot over to you once more. Your gesture shows him that you’re not afraid of him, though you perhaps should be as you see what he does to other men inside the arena. However, you can see it pains him. That he’d rather be anywhere else, he kills simply out of the need for survival. If he didn’t strike first, then he’d be dismembered. That made you grow fond of him in the first place.
He’s taken aback by your unexpected gesture of trust, mixture of awe and hesitation overtaking his being. With a slow movement, he reaches out and gently wraps his much larger hand around yours, holding it soothingly. His hands are rough and scarred while yours look like they’re made of porcelain, polished and well taken care of. Your own heart stops for a moment at the difference in the sizes and at how surprisingly gentle he is with you.
“How did you end up at the mercy of the madman?” he holds your hand delicately as he asks you, as if afraid he might hurt you, knowing the strength he possesses.
“I was born on Crete. My father is the king of the island, one well connected. The second the emperor’s mother announced that her son is to be wedded, I was brought to a ship as a candidate,” his touch electrifies you, not in the same way when you were near other men in your life. Not that you have ever been left alone with one like this before — in the night with only dim light illuminating your vision, tucked away from the sights of everyone.
When you compare it to polite gestures with your suitors, it failed to do such as his touch. It failed to do half of what this man stirs in your insides.
Your father would be furious, yet the simple thought of it excites you. The forbidding atmosphere excites and scares you at the same time.
“Sadly he took a liking to me. And although I loathe to breathe the same air as he does, I have no other choice,” you finish speaking, hesitant to lock your gaze with his again. Your tone picks up on a hint of sadness, lacing your expression as you retell him the simple story of how you became the target of the emperor.
“I’m sorry, it is horrible, and you do not deserve it,” he gently squeezes your hand, and it feels refreshing to hear someone voicing out their sympathies. All you’d get from the noble society is how ungrateful you’re for not being over the moon, that countless of women would throw themselves off a cliff for a chance to meet the ruler. How gladly you’d let them have him instead.
“Do not apologise, you do not deserve to be treated like this either,” your free hand flies to the air, gesturing at the darkened place where a metallic smell of blood hangs heavily in the air.
“No need to worry about me,” he mumbles to interrupt you, shaking his head to strip you of your worries.
“But I do, each time you step into the arena,” the words are simple, yet holding an immense power.
He bends down to your level.
It happens in a quick moment, away from the eyes of courtiers and the weight of your duties. In a place where the air smells of iron and stone. A princess of Crete, a bride promised to the emperor, raised in silks and showered in gold jewels. You’re meant to be wise, untouched and perfect — served on a silver platter for the empire. But when you look at him, the gladiator chained in these dungeons, all of your problems seem to unravel and dissolve like sea foam. He isn’t beautiful in the way noblemen are. There is nothing polished or rehearsed about him. He stands in front of you, inches separating you, bruised from the acts of the fight. His eyes holding no brutality when they met yours. And at this moment, you’d trade all of your life and all those noble men for a simple taste of a gladiator.
You truly didn’t know why you kept coming back. But you did at the same time. You told yourself it was curiosity, pity, maybe even rebellion —though standing in front of him now with little space between you and the atmosphere heavy with something unsaid, you know it’s far more than that. You reach out absentmindedly, fingers slipping between the bars, brushing the line of his jaw. He doesn’t flinch nor forces you away, he welcomes it. His skin is warm beneath the pillows of your fingers, rough with scars, real in a way nothing in your world had ever been.
And then you slowly lean in, eyes fluttering shut in the process. Resulting in the fact you can’t make out anything besides the ramping organ in your ribcage.
Your lips meet, just barely at first. More a breath shared than a kiss. Something in you shifts into place as it happens though. It’s soft, then urgent, and another second you’re trembling with all the things you were never allowed to want, but dreamt of in secret. The white haired warrior kisses you back like he knows this might be the only time he’s offered the opportunity, like the moment is slipping through his fingers even as he holds you close.
It’s your first kiss, and it strangely feels just as natural as breathing.
You liked to imagine you’d share your first kiss somewhere in a garden, smelling petals of roses or at the foot of a golden throne with a prince. Instead you’re here, in the shadows, with a man whose name is a mystery waiting to be discovered. And still, none of your scenarios could compare to the real thing, to the heat shared between you as your lips move in sync with his.
“Satoru,” he whispers into your mouth in between your shared kisses, his hands slipping further past the bars to pull you closer by your perfect silky robes. Pressing you into the metal cell, in hopes of feeling your body against his.
“Satoru?” you repeat in confusion.
“Oh, Satoru,” you coo in realisation of his name, and whisper your own in addition.
“Say it again,” he demands, fingers brushing past your robes.
And you do.
Again and again and again and again.
It tastes sweetly on your tongue, just right.
And when you finally pull away due to the lack of oxygen, your lips are still tingling with the taste of him and suddenly, all is different. Your cheeks are flushed with a tint of pink, silently praying he won’t speak of it out loud. And he doesn’t, he actually seems to ride the same wave of adrenaline as you.
He clumsily sneaks and twists his hand in order to be able to caress the swell of your cheek. Pushing strands of your hair to rest behind your ear, causing you to chuckle fondly as the featherlight touch tickles you.
“Is there anything you would like for me to bring tomorrow, before your fight?” you suggest, hoping to make his time in the cell more accommodating.
“Just your company,” he smiles down at you, turning it into a smirk only a moment later. The one which grabs you by your throat, robbing you of any common sense.
Isn’t it crazy how one person can make you feel what other never could nor would in such a short period of time?
“I appreciate your flattery, but in all seriousness, do you not need anything?”
“No, your presence will be enough of a fuel,” he goes on, refusing anything before you even offer it.
“Do you think differently of me, knowing I am a princess?” you mumble worriedly, looking to the side for a while. Not wanting to appear pretentious, hoping his outlook on you won’t change despite him knowing who you really are.
“A stupid title will not alter the way I think of you,” his voice drops an octave, meant only for your ears. The gesture seemingly intimate, causing an entire havoc in your stomach.
You hold his face in your palms, memorizing the lines carved by his skills and the spots where the sun attacked brutally — surveying the kindness etched onto his features that hides beneath his nonchalant armour throughout the day. And you kiss him full of gratitude like you can press your soul into his, because by dawn, you both return to your cages.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s the arena or the palace.
The sun rises like gold urns pouring water over the city of Rome, spilling light through the stained arches of windows straight into your chamber. Soft beams brush against your bedsheets and the heading of your bed. You awake slowly as it reflects into your face as well, breath catching in your throat — not from your disturbed sleep, but from a creeping dread you could no longer push away.
Your wedding is in a week from today.
The scent of jasmine and rose water fills the room, meanwhile maidens move quietly as they notice your awake state to draw open the heavy curtains and to sett out gowns the colours of twilight and fire. All for you to try later in the evening. They smile as they walk past you, greeting you and whispering of the day’s important schedule. Their cheeriness brings you sorrows as they surely must picture you as their future empress already — you’re their fraction of hope for a better life. You force yourself to smile back, no sign of real joy as the rmperor’s image doesn’t stir your heart with same admiration as they imagine it does.
You sit on the edge of the bed, the silk sheets falling around you like waves. Outside, the palace garden blooms unnaturally early, flowers coaxed into blossom by alchemists to match the emperor’s vision of a perfect wedding day, not that he cares as much. Trumpets call faintly in the distance, and you recognise the sound instantly. The city below is already alive with celebration for your upcoming wedding. But all you feel is the weight of your duty, heavy as the golden jewellery you’re putting on.
A soft knock at the door echos through the walls of your room, handmaiden entering with a polite bow.
“The emperor sends word, princess. He awaits you in the throne room and then you will be allowed to have a breakfast,” is all she says before she places an ivory stola on the edge of your bed, disappearing with yet another bow. The long gown she brought fails to bubble up any form of excitement. You don’t move, gaze fixed on the horizon beyond the window, where smoke swirls through the air. Too mesmerised by yesterday’s occurrence, the ghost of Satoru’s touch shimmering you, regardless of his absence. The mere fantasy of his proximity sets you on fire.
Your nightly encounters are the only thing pushing you to get up, letting the maidens do their magic on you and slipping into the long gown your soon to be husband picked out specifically for you. You're standing tall, wrapped in the clothing which drapes over your shoulders like liquid moonlight. It’s beautiful, not what you’d choose but it works. The fabric is soft and cool against your skin, flowing down in elegant folds. Every movement feels you’re drowning in fluid, effortless. A delicate golden belt rests at your waist, shaping your figure not too tightly.
The palace buzzes with preparations for your upcoming wedding day as you stroll through the corridors of the palace to reach the throne room — golden silks hung, rose petals thrown across marble floors, laurels placed on the columns, songs rehearsed to honour an empire’s union by perfecting hymns dedicated to Venus and Juno. The goddesses of love and marriage. The sound nearly sickens you, the mere thought of standing in front of the altar with your palms rested in his and giving him your youth for free wrenches your gut. And for a moment, it truly feels like you might throw up. Especially when you reach the throne room, your heart thundering against your ribs like it might give out any second.
The emperor sits on his tremendous throne decorated with reflecting gems at the far end of the room, draped in crimson and gold robes. His presence nothing compared to the vastness of the room — he looks like a boy, a fool pretending to be a ruler and yet, you’re at his mercy. The throne is a masterpiece on its own, carved out of the finest marble. Unlike the ruler, it seems to pulse with the weight of power.
“Ah, there’s my bride,” he coos, eyes sharp and calculating as usual. Fixated on your every move, inviting you closer.
“Come,” his monotone voice lures you in.
Your heart pounds unevenly, caught between the sight unraveled before you and the impossible secret you carry in form of love that belongs to another, to one not too far from this gilded cage. The silence feels heavy, broken only by the distant hushes of courtiers and the soft shuffle of your footsteps on polished stone. As you approach, the emperor’s gaze never ceases.
“Your highness,” you let out softly, bending your body to show him respect in hopes of pleasing to achieve a piece of security for yourself.
“Come here, sit,” he pats his thigh, fingers gesturing for you to take a seat.
His words hang in the air as murmurs of servants ripple softly, awkwardness flushing you. Still, you have no choice, so you walk forward to climb the stairs — each one drawing you closer to the throne and to the man who plays to be the ruler. He extends a hand, guiding you gently onto his lap and cradling you not just with power, but possession. As if he owns you. And in a way he does. You feel overly stiff, unable to loosen and the fact it’s being witnessed by every bowed head in the room adds a sting.
At first, he speaks of your wedding day which is hurrying your way. The tone of his voice low, only meant for your ear. It causes goosebumps to grace your skin, not in a pleasant intimate way your lover would make you feel, but rather in fear and disgust. From time to time, mere sight of him boils your blood and spins your head, therefore sitting in such a close proximity makes you want to tear your hair out.
You loathe him dedicatedly, overflowing with hatred for the one you’re supposed to be wedded to, but you can’t be bothered to feel guilty while you’re seated in his lap. His heinous acts can’t make you.
“I must say I am growing rather bored of the new champion,” a mush of his words reaches your ear, they come unexpectedly and it feels like a punch to the stomach. You instantly recognise who he’s directing his words to and what it could mean, knowing his corrupted ways of thinking.
“How so, my lord?” you speak up for the first time since you sat down onto his lap, voice careful and precise.
“Winning over and over gets repetitive, does it not?” he cocks his head to the side lightly, peaking at you from the corner of his eye, a smirk tugging his lips up. A glint of mischief in his gaze, nearly making you choke on paranoia. There’s no possibility he could somehow find out about my nightly outings, you keep repeating in your head.
“I suppose, your highness,” you agree, not wanting to rile him up beyond recognition, even though it takes everything within you to not push him away.
“I will fight the gladiator,” he announces as if it’s some grant gesture, expecting to earn an encouragement, yet all it does is wake up a raging storm of emotions in your chest. Thousands of thoughts running through your mind, all sort of scenarios overtaking your sense. Each one ending in the favour of your soon to be husband and not the man you’ve grown so fond of, because wealth and power win in the end. Not strength and bravery.
“You have seen how skillful the man is,” your spoken statement is an opposite of what he thought you’d say, earning yourself a tight squeeze on your hip. His fingers digging into the fabric of the gown he picked out for you, into your tender flesh.
“Do you trust the slave more than your own emperor?” you can see it then, the change in his mechanisms. It’s like someone flipped a switch and there’s a whole another person, the action urging you to bolt. Nonetheless, you stay, loyal to the one you’re promised to — discarding your own needs.
“I would not dare, I simply worry too much,” you breathe out shakily, trying to appear genuine. It brings you to hesitantly reach out your hand, the motion slow enough that he could slap it away if he wished to. He doesn’t, he welcomes your touch instead, taking you by a surprise the second your palm comes into contact with the swell of his cheekbone.
“I appreciate it, though suggest you keep your mouth shut, sweets. Worry doesn’t look too good on you,” his lips curve into a malicious smile, hand flying out to grip your wrist tightly. You almost whine aloud, not from the pain, but from how unexpected the action was. You swallow the dry lump building up in your throat, barely visibly nodding your hand. And with that, he jerks your arm away from his face.
“In five days, I will face the champion,”
Your world crashes down, ambers of horror turning into flames. You don’t try to convince him to do otherwise due to his stubbornness, regardless of how unlikely he’s to win honourably in the fight. Your mind only wanders to the white haired gladiator, the worry you feel now incomparable to the one you feel each time he goes out to fight in the arena. It’s far more devouring that he’s ought to be robbed of his life in such a disgusting manner.
His arms untangle from your body, hand patting the side of your thigh to show you you’re no longer welcomed in his lap. He dismisses you, finally. The gruesome time spent in his presence seeming overly time consuming. And as soon as that, you’re on the path to your room, you feel both at ease and horrified. The thought of having breakfast making you sick as reality of what is to come for your heartfelt warrior crashes down on you just, coming your way in full speed. Your footsteps pick speed, flying through the corridors of your new home.
When you reach the inside of your chamber, your words are quick to send the maids away, not caring whether they’re finished with their task or not. The one sensation you can focus on is the burning in the walls of your throat and on the entirety of your chest. You manage to breathe slowly in and our in order to keep your emotions at bay until every single one of your ladies exits the room.
Then it hits you, like an arrow to your heart.
He’s going to die by the hands of your monstrous future spouse.
Tears spill from the corners of your eyes, running down the swell of your cheeks and continuing their way down your neck. Meanwhile, your back remains pressed against the entrance door to the room. You close your orbs shut, thinking that maybe — just maybe — it’d go away if you tried hard enough. However, you can’t stop the reality from dragging you down. And you feel pathetic for allowing your emotions to get the better out of you, because of a man who’s always been bound to be taken away from you. Although, it never occurred to you it could be done by the man you’re betrothed to. It makes you hyperventilate, each cell in your body bursting while trying not to let out a single sound. It’s agonising, all you wish to do is let it out, but with the ladies still lingering behind the closed door to your room, it’s unimaginable.
“In five days, therefore before our wedding,” you mumble out inaudible and in disbelief, piece of hope swallowing you whole as an idea bubbles up to surface.
Seven days to your wedding ceremony, five till the fight.
You’ve still got time to try, try to either talk the emperor into stepping away from the fight or help the gladiator escape before it comes down to it. Either way, you’d then proceed to marry the emperor, be miserable and preform your duty as a princess — bringing the empire a slice of hope for the future. And as great as it sounds, you know you’d regret it till the end of your days. And then there’s the last option, which includes packing up your necessities and losing yourself in the city, sailing away on a boat with Satoru’s hand in your. The fantasy robbing you of any logical way of thinking.
It’s all you wish for, from the marrow in your bones to your fingertips — your whole being years for a chance at a new life, away from the madness of the empire.
Small pieces of ideas begin to form a unit in your mind, and the last thing you need is the agreement of the one you’re so eager to run away with.
It causes you to pick yourself up, each shattered piece, and smile. You smile your way through the day, trying out dresses and answering all the prying questions coming from your court ladies to appear as much in love with the idea of marrying the emperor as they do. You lunch with him in the gardens, you endure each time he picks on you with grace and dodge everything which leads to suggesting being in any shape or form intimate with him. He hasn’t tried anything, but with the wedding date nearing its expiration, he’s certainly growing rather bold with his words and it’s simply a matter of time before he does try. You play out your role of the low maintenance loyal princess who appears to be amazed by what’s happening in her life. All of it just to wake up in the dead of the night, filled with anticipation and anxiety, ready to take on yet another nightly outing. This time being different, tainted by a horrible sense that you’ll soon run out of time for good.
In the stillness of the night, the city transforms and gleams in a strange way under the light of the moon. Each step a defiance to your obligations, betraying your lineage and the ruler himself by plotting against his judgment. The air feels exceptionally thick as you reach the entrance leading to the gladiator’s cells. Your heart heaves with news that threaten to shatter your clandestine fantasy. The emperor, perhaps having caught whispers of your affections, had announced his participation in the upcoming games — not for sport, but for execution. And you’re soon going to be the one to deliver these news.
“I need the keys this time,” you demand, the old man guarding the entrance nearly choking on his own saliva.
“But princess—“
“I said I need the keys,” your voice cuts him off before he can finish, repeating your wish once more and empathising it while reaching into the pocket of your silky robe to pull out a leather sachet, packed with gold and denariuses.
The nameless man scans your hooded figure, arm hesitantly handing you the keys in exchange for your treasure, and then he lets you in without any other words — aware this might not end up well for him. But it doesn’t stop you either like it normally would, you can’t bring yourself to care as you descend down the stairs.
“You are late tonight,” his voice calls out from the darkness of his cell, collected and oh so soothing. Your shoulders loosen up and the speed of your racing heart comes to a halt. You pull your hood down, revealing yourself to him as you inch closer towards the metal bars.
“I am sorry, I had to wait a little longer tonight,” you whisper into the silence, keeping the keys hidden in your pocket as there’s a small uncertainty blooming in you about using them, about stepping inside and that he might run.
“You came, that is what matters,” he exhales with a low hum, stepping out of the darkness to close the overbearing distance between you. Your heart ceases to function at the sight of his beautiful face, each time you see him it grabs you by your throat like it’s the first time and it doesn’t cease to amuse you. The sharp cut of his jawline and cheeks-bones, the delicate curve of his nose and the light sunburn grazing his skin from working in the open sun, but most importantly, the gleam in his eyes — the softness that defies the rest of his muscular frame.
“I am afraid I am not a barer of good news,” you break the silence with a heavy heart, the reality coming together once again as the amusement goes on to pass. Satoru furrows his brows at that, arms sneaking through the metal to touch you.
“The emperor, he is out of his mind, and he wants to fight you before he is to be wedded to me, Satoru,” pure shock paints his face the moment your words make the situation real, his hand gently squeezes your side before his fingers play with the slippery fabric of your gown.
“Let him, then. I will crush him with ease,” he states with confidence and if it were anyone else facing him, you wouldn’t dare to question his skills.
“You are not reading me correctly,” you shake your head slightly, tone cracking, and part of you knew it wouldn’t be easy to convince him of what is building up outside of the walls of the Colosseum.
“He is not to let you win,” you speak slowly and deliberately, allowing him to digest the meaning behind it in hopes that he’ll listen to you.
“He does not need to, I will defeat him,” he copies your way of speaking, trying to convince you to put your faith in him. His palm slides up your body to rest upon your cheek, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.
“Do you truly think he is a man of honour? He will cheat his way out,” the words escape your lips in a quiet and desperate way, while you pool your eyes into his. Their shade almost dark blue in the darkness. Like the ocean that threatens to drown sailors on a stormy night.
It makes you realise that there are no torches lit this night which is suspicious.
“I will send him to his own grave, I promise you princess. That you will be free,” your face falls into frustration even though his thumb works in small sensual circles on your skin, it’s still not enough to soothe down the raging ache.
“You cannot possibly think they will let you kill the emperor in an arena full of guards. In front of hundreds, it will be a charade,” you continue, growing more desperate. So much that you might start pleading, it’s what your eyes are doing anyway and it seems to shake him up a little, because you take notice of the way his features soften up.
“They will take your life too, even if you by some miracle will succeed in killing him,” you add, leaning into the security of his touch.
“At least you will be free, I am to take the risk,”
And that is what utterly undoes you, so much you have to pull and step away.
“Please, I beg you to stop,” you plea, clasping your hands together.
“There is no other way,” his voice is calm in comparison to yours, as if he’s already reconciled with his fate and it only deepens the hurt burning through you.
“Satoru, listen,” you start off shakily, but you manage to form it into coherent sentences, “we could board a ship in four days, sail to Greece together at dawn and leave this behind.”
Your hands tremble as you reach for the gladiator before you, but he’s the one to step away now. Your eyes are wide with desperation, searching his face for traces of hope. He remains still, his muscular frame silhouetting against the stone walls of his cell — your lips quiver, breath hitching as you silently plead for escape.
“I cannot strip you off your titles, your birthright,” he speaks up, crushing your build up hope in a fraction of second, making you reel.
“None of it compares to you,”
“I have nothing to offer you,” the gladiator's expression is a tapestry of conflict. His brows knit together, eyes reflecting a storm of love, sorrows and resignation. He gently takes your hands in his, the touch both tender and firm as he slowly shakes his head.
“It matters not, you are worth more than all the jewels they bathe me in and it would be silly to marry someone I would never be able to love, would it not?” you chuckle lightly, expressing the doubts you haven’t spoken out loud before. You squeeze his hands, urging him to give into this.
“I would simply not be able to forgive myself for robbing you of your comfort,” his iridescent globes pierce yours and it’s admirable, the way he so easily gives up what he wants in order for you to be secured. Even as you’re begging him to do the complete opposite, even knowing the marriage would never fulfil you, but he would rather die than to rob you of everything, give you nothing and make you more miserable. It’s better to be miserable in a palace than somewhere God knows where, it’s what he tells himself as he fights to not do what you’re asking him.
“You are not listening to me,” your tone becomes more firm, demanding. And it irks you how much this affects you, nonetheless, you can’t phantom a reality where you stay with the emperor and leave him to die.
“You are not either,” he doesn’t pretend to be calm anymore, the expression on his face a mixture of remorse and frustration.
“I cannot watch you leave your life behind, and for what? A gladiator?” the echo of his sarcastic chuckle rings through the long dungeon, striking your heart right where it hurts the moment. And you realise just how crazy this is, what you’re asking him to do — to steal a princess under the nose of the emperor — but it doesn’t stop you.
For once in your life, you want to be selfish.
“And I cannot lose you, do you not understand? I have fallen in love with you,” you say exactly what you’re thinking, cheeks flushing in the process due to the simple fact you have never felt the need to say those word nor had anyone ever to say them to.
The gladiator looks just as surprised by your confession as you do which unsettles you.
“What?” he mumbles, barely audible as he implores you to repeat what has left your lips.
credits for dividers: [ @zaldritzosrose @cafekitsune @enchanthings ]
summary: just a quick little something something about crushing on Xie Wu...because I mean, who doesn't?
an: Im literally dying to make a POJ fic...but I have way too many ideas and not enough time. I make make this into a little scene series. Anyways...I cannot wait to read the fics that will come out for this drama. The casting ate down fr!
masterlist
She was supposed to be listening.
That had been the entire purpose of slipping away from the compound, of ducking past the watchful servants and the restless soldiers, of pressing herself into the rough bark of an old tree just beyond the training grounds where voices carried more clearly than they should. Changyu had asked her, no, trusted her to find out what General Xie Zheng was planning. There was someone to be saved, something urgent woven into the quiet tension of the camp, and Y/N had nodded with all the seriousness she could muster.
But now, crouched behind the tree with her breath held and her heart doing something entirely unhelpful she couldn’t remember a single word that had been said.
Because he was there.
Xie Wu stood just slightly behind General Xie Zheng, as he always did not quite in the center never drawing attention yet impossible to ignore once your eyes found him. His presence felt like something solid and unyielding, like a blade sheathed but never truly at rest. Even now, as the general spoke with Xie Shi Yu and Xie Qi, his posture remained perfectly composed. One hand resting near the hilt at his side the other loose but ready, as though the world might tilt into danger at any moment.
Y/N swallowed, pressing her fingers into the tree’s bark as if it might anchor her back to her senses.
It didn’t help.
Her gaze traced him without permission, lingering on the familiar lines of his armor. Dark steal and metal layered and significant and worn just enough to tell stories of battles she could barely imagine. She thought not for the first time that no one had ever looked as right in armor as he did. It didn’t swallow him like it did the others. It seemed to belong to him as if it had been forged with his shape in mind.
And the scarf.
Her lips pressed together in a small helpless smile as her eyes drifted to it. That deep black and red fabric wrapped around his neck no matter the season, no matter the weather. She had seen him in rain and heat alike, the cloth always there shifting slightly with the wind like a quiet declaration of something she didn’t yet understand. She loved it she loved the way it softened the sharpness of him just enough, loved how it drew her eyes back to his face every single time.
She remembered the first moment she had seen him, truly seen him.
She had met him a few times, under his false uidentiy when Yan Zheng was still hiding in Lin'an. But there was a particular moment when she saw Xie Wu for the first time that her heart fluttered.
It had been chaos in her villiage. Smoke, shouting, the panic of being displaced and unsure if safety even existed anymore. And then there he was, stepping through it like something carved from steadiness itself. Eyes sharp, movements precise. He hadn’t looked at her first. He had looked at everything else; the exits, the threats, the smallest movements others would miss.
He had a face born of iron and steel, almost like he was crafted by hand. Someone had to have deeply loved his soul before placing him into the body of one handsome man. His beauty was otherworldly and very hard to explain, her mind couldn't even put into words just who exactly she was looking at.
He possessed a very alluring look to himself. He looked as if he were a character from a story book.
She had thought, absurdly, that he was beautiful.
Not in the way of gentle things or easy smiles, but in something far more inexplicable. Something quiet and observant and utterly unshakable.
And now…
Now she couldn’t seem to look away.
A faint shift in his stance made her breath hitch. He tilted his head just slightly, eyes narrowing as Xie Zheng spoke as though weighing every word every possibility. He always listened like that. Like silence was his weapon, like understanding was his shield.
Y/N’s heart fluttered painfully in her chest. She wasn't sure if she was even breathing anymore.
He noticed everything.
She knew that.
Which meant...her stomach twisted slightly at the thought, but he had probably noticed her too.
The thought should have sent her scrambling back toward the compound it should have reminded her of the task she was failing at so spectacularly. But instead, she stayed where she was barely daring to breathe as she watched him, as if the simple act of observing him was something fragile she didn’t want to break.
Because he hovered.
Not just here not just in formations and strategy discussions, but around her. It had started subtly, so subtly she thought she imagined it. A step closer when the path grew uneven. A quiet shift to stand between her and a passing group of soldiers. The way he would appear at her side or just behind her whenever tension crept into the air.
Like now.
Even here, even in conversation he had positioned himself just slightly angled. Not fully facing the general, not fully facing the others…but enough that if something happened..if something moved he would be the first to react.
The first to protect.
Her chest tightened.
She thought of Changning, small and frightened clinging to her when they had found them again when the Sui clan took them hostage. It had been Xie Wu who carried Changning. Xie Wu who had cut down the last of the men who dared touch either of them. Xie Wu who had stood there, silent and blood streaked, holding a trembling child and coaxing her not to panic with a gentleness that had undone something in Y/N she hadn’t known existed.
That had been the moment.
Not the first sight, not the armor or the scarf or the sharpness of his gaze.
That moment.
And now her feelings had grown into something she didn’t know how to name.
A crush felt too small.
Admiration felt too distant.
This was something deeper, something that settled into her chest and refused to leave; something that made her notice the smallest things. The way his shoulders relaxed just slightly when he thought no one was looking, the way his gaze flicked toward her even in crowded spaces, the way his silence never felt empty when he stood near.
He spoke to her as if she had always been there.
Not awkward, not distant, not formal in the way others sometimes were. Just…steady. Familiar. As though her presence required no adjustment.
Her fingers curled tighter against the tree.
She had never had this before.
Never felt this strange pull, this constant awareness of someone else. This quiet hope that lingered in the back of her mind no matter how much she tried to ignore it.
And sometimes..only sometimes, she thought...
Maybe he felt something too.
A sudden shift snapped her attention back. Xie Wu’s head turned slightly, his gaze sweeping the area with a precision that made her heart leap straight into her throat. She froze, pressing herself flatter against the tree, barely daring to blink as she ducked behind the tree as quick as she could.
His eyes lingered.
Not directly on her not enough to expose her but close enough that she felt seen anyway.
And then, just as quickly he looked away.
Her breath left her in a shaky exhale.
A faint, almost embarrassed smile tugged at her lips as she relaxed again, her gaze drifting back to him without resistance.
She was supposed to be listening.
She was supposed to remember every word for Changyu.
Instead, she remained hidden behind the tree completely and hopelessly distracted, watching Xie Wu as though he were the only thing in the world that mattered.