#sb personal

[strangebeautiful]

been thinking lately about how wild it is to be the One Person in your family with upward mobility, and how much fucking effort it took to learn all of the nuance and social bits that you do not learn when you grow up poor. most people talk about how they're impressed that i put myself through college because my parents didn't want me to go, and how i worked two jobs and went to school full time, but i think the hardest part was honestly the social stuff.

i spent so much of my 20s embarrassing myself because i just didn't know that you weren't supposed to do x, y, z! i still get nervous around glass dishes. i'll tell a story that i think is funny and someone will be like "oh no that was child neglect." yikes! never thought about it that way! i've never been able to ask my family for advice because my lived experience is so out of their realm of understanding. i'm grateful that i'm able to do the things i do and there is a powerful degree of privilege in that (being white, passport country, etc), but there is always a part of me that will feel like i'm just dressed up white trash in a nice outfit. it's just an interesting way to feel when i am basically a mercenary hired by rich people.

[strangebeautiful]

less than a week until the big move and i am crawling out of my skin!!! eternally feeling like i'm forgetting something!!! can't believe i'm doing this AGAIN but the new job is good vibes and the city is sooooo gay compared to my current one

(also, my cat is my family and she goes where i go, but i cannot express to you the amount of stress i am carrying over this cat's international moving paperwork. PLS LET HER IN)

[strangebeautiful]

very grateful for the ability to fly across the world but dear god it's diabolical how major airlines cram you like sardines into economy for approximately a bazillion dollars

[strangebeautiful]

i would love to know your favourite spots please share with us ^^

Disclaimer before I start: I am a white American, so your mileage may vary compared to my personal experience! However, these are my top three so far, in no particular order:

Taiwan: I absolutely love Taiwan! There's something so charming about it, and I get so nostalgic thinking about Taipei and the night markets (Ningxia Night Market, I long for you) and sooooo much milk tea. I'm a museum nerd, and the Taipei Fine Arts Museum is one of the best museums I've ever been to. (Also, the admission is literally $1 USD.) The National Palace Museum was also worth the trip! If you can get outside of Taipei, the country itself is so lush and green and beautiful. One night, I went to a random show at a feminist bookstore that was entirely in Mandarin and the performers asked me mid-show if I knew Chinese. I was like oh, don't worry about me! They thought it was hilarious and we're friends on IG now.

Brazil: Okay, I have to admit that I wasn't immune to fear-mongering, and I was pretty nervous leading up to visiting Brazil. BUT. What a beautiful country! I was only helping my friend move, but I loved the hills and the trees and the city. I think I became a pão de queijo. My coffee consumption was through the roof. The only word I knew was obrigada and I used it constantly. Every Brazilian I met was so warm and kind! I can't wait to go back again when I'm not running on 12 seconds of sleep. I did not get enough cool pictures of Brazil to do it justice, so you'll just have to trust me.

Thailand: I don't think anything prepares you for a SE Asian megacity like Bangkok. I had my head on a swivel for two days straight when I arrived! The traffic is insane, people are everywhere, and the city really never sleeps. There's no shortage of markets and cafes and 7/11s and bars. There was always something to do. THE FRESH FRUIT. God. I think about the mangoes every day of my life. We took a bus down to one of the islands and the bus was running late, so the bus driver stopped and got everyone McChickens along the way? It was chaotic and delicious. Chaotic and delicious describes so much of my experience in Thailand.

Honorable mentions: - Japan (shoutout to Fukuoka, which I found incredibly charming and rarely gets mentioned) - Malaysia (the food and diversity of food was insane) - China (I only went to Beijing, and it was at its dreariest, but I was pleasantly surprised by China as a whole)

My hopeful destinations within the next year: - Chiang Mai, Thailand - Hanoi, Vietnam - Luang Prabang, Laos

[strangebeautiful]

i'm on a fuckton of cold medication so i apologize in advance but,

sometimes it's super fucking surreal to look at my life. my sister is the only person besides me to even have a passport. i had left the country Once before i moved, and in the last four years, i've gone to ten different countries. i used to be scared shitless going to new places, and now i live for it. i've made so many friends and i've seen so many things and tried so many foods and i've seen so much of the world i used to dream about when i spun my grandpa's globe around as a kid. i cried the first time i saw the ocean! i speak a functional amount of another language i learned in my 30s! i've ridden on the back of a motorcycle super unsafely! a butch lesbian poured beer into my mouth at a club on an island!

it was a running joke with my friends in undergrad that i didn't think i'd make it to 30. but now i'm past that and i have two degrees? financial stability? the cutest cat in WORLD??? and i get to just fly places whenever i want because i have money and free will and a strong passport? man, this life is so fucking cool. i'm so lucky.

[strangebeautiful]

new tattoo is so cool. i can't stop looking at it. i want 4000 more

[strangebeautiful]

so excited and nervous for my tattoo on saturday!!! i'm such a baby with the pain but it'll be worth it for the cool new tattoo 🥹

[strangebeautiful]

okay i don't want to speak too soon, but i think the worst is over??? i think sb gets a break now??? creative juices return?