@tesseractingrey replied to your post “(1/2) Hi! I just read your fic “side by side,” and I loved it. It kind...”
1. Do you think fitzsimmons could’ve taken the 12 years they took in canon to get together if they had dæmons, or do you think being able to know themselves better would mean they’d always get together earlier? I know they did in your fic, but do you think there’s any way they could’ve followed the canon timeline with dæmons?
No, not in the way I conceive of either the ‘verse or the characters, that’s why I wrote them in the way that I did - one of both Simmons and Fitz’s greatest faults in canon early on is that they suppress their emotions so strongly. In the dæmon-verse, they each have a second being that is the embodiment of their inner selves and feelings, and as such I think that both of them would only be able to repress certain feelings for a certain amount of time.
The dæmons naturally bring certain parts of their relationship that were previously ignored or unnoticed to the fore, and so they can’t ignore them for twelve years the way they do in canon. Sarama and Caedmon won’t let it - although Sarama would always be the one who broke first, because Caedmon (being a facet of Jemma) has a tighter lock on his own responses than Sarama does. In this way, the two dæmons mirror how in canon Fitz came to a realization about his feelings before Simmons did.
2. How do you think writing about them with dæmons affected your ability to convey the characters’ views of themselves and their internal struggles?
It was a really fun challenge! Of course, Sarama and Caedmon, although derived from Fitz and Simmons respectively, actually have their own distinct personalities, so establishing that was important right at the outset. Although each human and dæmon might agree about many things, I had to figure out the types of things they might disagree about (etc.), and then also figure out how that’s even possible (it is) for two beings that are derived from the same soul.
The toughest part about writing about them with the dæmons is honestly just remembering that the dæmons are always there - there’s so much of Side By Side that, of course, features the dæmons, but there’s also almost just as much where the scenes revolve entirely around Simmons and Fitz interacting with each other. I had to always keep in mind what the dæmons were doing if they weren’t immediately being described at any moment. Sometimes, I didn’t realize I’d forgotten to do that until editing, lol, and I had to write the dæmons back in.
As for the characters’ views of themselves and their internal struggles specifically, in some ways, writing with the dæmons around is easier - Caedmon is more likely to call Jemma out on her own behavior, for example, than she might on her own. The dæmons sort of force this kind of self awareness that neither of them has in canon. And honestly, writing Jemma and Caedmon outright arguing is just a fun, straightforward way to dramatize her internal struggles about how to deal with her unpredictable, illogical, and unwanted romantic feelings towards Fitz. Having her shouting at a lion is a lot more enjoyable to write than just trying to elucidate an internal monologue!
3. Why do you think giving characters dæmons is such a popular AU to write?
I think it’s popular for 2 simple reasons, one of which I just described above - it’s so much easier to dramatize internal struggles when a person can literally talk it out with a being outside of themselves.
The second reason is the same as the reason why I think HDM is so popular as a universe in general: Humans don’t ever want to be alone. With a dæmon, we’re never alone - it’s like having a pet that is always around, and that is anthropomorphized so you can actually talk to them, and they talk back. What kid or teenager wouldn’t desperately want that? I know I did as a kid - I was also an only child, so I was drawn to any universe that provided the characters with a constant companion. The basic concept of course remains popular for millions of readers of all ages, so it’s often woven into fanfic.
I hope all this is helpful - good luck with your paper!
Thank you for answering all these SBS questions! It's very cool to get all these extra bits from a universe we love! And whilst I'm here, any more cute tidbits about their adorable baby and her adorable daemon? Thank you!
hey buddy! I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to answer this - tbh, I’d already written out all the headcanons I had for their family in this post, so it took me a while to come up with something else!
when their daughter’s five years old, their little nuclear family is spending the weekend day at a national park. Jemma, Fitz, and Sarama are reclining on a wooden bench while Caedmon gambols around the new grass with their daughter and her daemon.
Jemma catches Fitz making notes on his phone, but when she asks, he demurs. eventually, teasing him, she gets the phone away from him - and sees that he’s been taking detailed notes on the animals their daughter’s daemon is changing to. he shrugs, embarrassed, saying that he just wanted to know - he doesn’t say it, but she guesses (correctly) that he’s worried about both when her daemon is going to settle and whether or not she’ll be happy with the animal her daemon settles as. Jemma tries to comfort him, saying that no matter what form her daemon takes at last, she’ll grow to love him just the same - he did with Sarama’s skink form. she gives Sarama a fond nod where she’s reclining on Fitz’s leg.
Fitz looks up at her, surprised. he’s not worried about their daughter’s daemon because of him and Sarama - he pauses, looks away. Jemma scoots closer. reluctantly, he admits that he’s worried about their daughter’s daemon because of her and Caedmon. they spent so much time at odds with each other, he just… he just wants their daughter to be happy with herself.
silence hovers between them for a few minutes. Jemma can’t pretend that his words don’t hurt, because they do. while the silence stretches on, Sarama slinks over from Fitz’s lap on to Jemma’s, nosing her scaly snout against Jemma’s hand. the sensation of touching her husband’s daemon does feel nice, but it doesn’t really make her feel better. she reaches up to rest one hand on Sarama’s back anyway, out of habit.
hesitant, Fitz wraps his hands around hers, apologizes - he doesn’t mean to hurt her, and he loves her and Caedmon so deeply that he still doesn’t have the words to describe it. she sighs. she knows, she says, squeezing his hands back. she knows he loves her, and that he loves their daughter, and that’s why he’s worried. but she doesn’t think Margaret and her daemon would be like her and Caedmon. and if they are, well - Jemma and Caedmon will be there to advise them anyway. she gives Fitz a minute smile.
he leans forward and gives her a sweet, slow kiss. he really is very much in love with her, he tells her, and her smile grows into a real one.
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Now in light of this gifset: /post/159608654687 (the lion cubs!!!) which is just so freaking cute, how many kids do you imagine Fitzsimmons having in the SBS universe. And have you imagined anything else in terms of a Fitzsimmons family in this verse ;) I LOVE this universe and I love it that you frequently publish your HCs about it :D It's so awesome :D
hehehe no lie, I’ve been just waiting for someone to ask me about family/child headcanons for this universe. like, real talk, I basically don’t care about and am not interested in FitzSimmons baby headcanons in any normal AU or canon, but suddenly you mention the Side By Side ‘verse and my entire brain turns into mush. and wasn’t that post adorable?! I have so many misc animal (well, lion and lizard) posts in my Academy AU tag now, lol.
most of what I’ve imagined so far involves adorable new baby and daemon scenes - and most of them are Fitz-focused, lol. for example, I set one out in this post a while back (@eclecticmuses has been the sole victim of me occasionally having SBS!baby daemon feelings-attacks, lmao). they’re all snippets seen through rose-colored glasses that don’t take into account any of the difficult baby/kid stuff, but, y’know. I have a few little scene-lets that have popped into my head over the past few months that I just love.
I’ve really only ever headcanoned FitzSimmons as having one child of their own, Margaret (named after her), and so that continues in this universe. her daemon eventually settles as a monkey, to Fitz and Sarama’s pure and utter delight.
read on for so much tooth-rotting fluff you’re gonna need to floss after.
I just can’t resist the image of Jemma, exhausted but blissfully happy, sitting in a rocking chair in the baby’s room as she breastfeeds, with Fitz sitting on an ottoman nearby and holding the baby’s daemon in his two cupped hands, staring down at the tiny thing in awe. it shifts from a baby sloth to a baby lemur, and he just watches it in pure wonder, lifting one finger to stroke gently at its tiny side. the daemon mewps and twists around towards his finger, seeking out his touch. Caedmon is practically in Fitz’s lap, nose hovering centimeters from his hand. Sarama is busy watching the baby feed, having crawled off of Jemma’s lap to the sidetable for a better view.
“He turned to you,” Caedmon whispers excitedly, and Fitz just nods mutely. he doesn’t know how Jemma’s taking to motherhood so calmly, he can barely believe that these wonderful creatures came from them - that their DNA combined to make something so unique and fragile and magnificent! Fitz is quiet during a lot of early fatherhood, lol, observing in utter awe. (he can barely stop touching Jemma when they first get home from the hospital. he frets around her to such a degree that she has to remind him that she’s her own person and doesn’t need him to wait on her hand and foot. at least, not all the time. if he wants to be supportive, she teases, he can wake up with her when the baby needs feeding. he does this anyway, of course.)
at one point, he stands to stretch his legs while Jemma feeds the baby, taking the baby daemon with him and continuing to gently pet its side. but as he paces to the other side of the room, the daemon begins to squirm unhappily, and as Fitz nears the door, the daemon lets out small cries of distress. he freezes in complete panic, and then whips around as the baby bursts into (much louder) cries as well. Jemma waves him back over, reminding him that baby’s bonds with their daemons don’t stretch very far - he’s pulling at their bond. with all the speed he can muster while still carefully holding the baby lemur, Fitz zooms back over to the other side of the room, kneeling at Jemma’s feet and murmuring apology after apology. he’s sorry, sorry, sorry, he didn’t mean it, he won’t ever do it again, please don’t cry, papa’s here…
as soon as he’s back within range, both the baby and the daemon calm immediately, with the daemon shifting contently into a baby squirrel and turning so that he can hug onto Fitz’s thumb. Fitz nearly faints with relief, moving his hands so that Caedmon can snuffle affectionately at the baby daemon.
Fitz shuffles forward, cupping the baby daemon against his chest, and leans in to press scratchy kisses over Margaret’s forehead and tear-stained cheeks, apologizing over and over again until Jemma halts him.
“Don’t beat yourself up, Fitz,” she scolds gently, reaching over to smooth the fingers of her unoccupied hand over Sarama’s back. “We had to learn eventually how far their bond goes, it’s good we know.” Fitz feels guilty about that one brief moment for years, Jemma’s loving admonishment notwithstanding. (caring fathers are like that, you know.)
ah, and then one other headcanon that happened while I was watching Planet Earth II a few weeks back. there was a video segment about a baby monkey that nearly fell from the tops of the trees and got stuck, and its father had to come rescue it. so I couldn’t help picturing Fitz - in charge of both baby and daemon while Jemma and Caedmon rest - leaning over the edge of the crib while watching the episode. Sarama’s inside the crib with the baby; early on, she spends whole nights in the crib with them, to make sure everything’s okay. (Caedmon misses her while she’s in there, but all four of them agree that they feel more secure having her in the crib to watch over things - even if the crib isn’t very far away from where FitzSimmons are sleeping.)
so Fitz is leaning over the crib while the baby burbles happily away, TV on low volume, and is half-watching the story about the monkeys and half watching his daughter. the baby’s daemon is currently in the form of a baby capuchin climbing helter-skelter all over the crib’s slats. Fitz instinctively reaches out to hover his hand behind the monkey daemon as the one on TV slips, and blows out a relieved little puff of air when the TV monkey dad swoops in to save the day.
“You gotta promise me you won’t do that,” he says to the baby daemon. “I can’t climb trees.” the little capuchin just reaches up to grab onto Fitz’s hand in response, and happily hangs upside-down from his fingers. he sighs.
ok that got pretty long, lol. the other headcanon that I have off the top of my head is that this definitely happens, with Margaret dressing as Caedmon and Sarama at alternate years for Halloween. (as a baby, she looks a little more like a burrito than a lizard, but Sarama is pleased as punch anyway.)
oh, and, like I said, their daughter’s daemon definitely settles as a monkey - at a “normal age,” much to Fitz’s great relief - but he absolutely tries out being a lion cub and a shingleback skink as he goes through animals. for a long time, they think he’s going to settle as a horse, because in the summertime he often changes into one and goes galloping around their Perthshire yard. but when he settles as a spider monkey, Fitz and Sarama really couldn’t be more pleased - and Jemma is thrilled that after all that time of the two of them being so disappointed about Sarama not settling as a monkey, their daughter’s daemon was one instead. full circle. :-)
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Idk if you've addressed this yet, but in SBS, when did Fitz finally get around to proposing? I just read your answer about how they started thinking about marriage right before she gets taken by the monolith, so how much time passes before he pops the question? And how does he go about it? ;-) ❤❤❤
I haven’t addressed that yet, but - it happens during what’s 3x17 in canon. :-)
they’ve just survived yet another bomb - for Fitz and Sarama, this is far, far too similar to 8/8. so Fitz snaps unnecessarily at Lincoln, and moodily agrees with Coulson that they lie low for the time being.
once the four of them are in their room, Jemma gets right to work, leaning back against Caedmon at the end of the queen-sized bed and grumbling about how they should be in the lab. Fitz, agitated, just stands in the center of the room for a bit, trying to calm down from the horror of having seen a second bomb go off far too close to Jemma and Caedmon. what if next time the bomb hits its target? absent-mindedly, she reaches up to the edge of the bed to rub the backs of her fingers against Sarama’s scales, and that familiar feeling of her touching his soul just crashes over him. what would his life be without her? without knowing that at least she was somewhere?
and as Fitz is watching her do work, something he sees her do every day but now with cuts and bruises on her face, he just blurts it out:
“Will you marry me?”
Jemma blinks up at him, lips parting in shock. “What?”
Panic darting through his chest, Fitz sinks to his knees next to her on the floor, reaching forward and taking away the tablet that she was now only loosely holding. “Marry me, Jemma? I just - I know we sorta talked about it, and I was gonna plan a whole night, with roses and dinner and everything, but then with the bomb and Hive and I know you’re still recovering, and it doesn’t have to be right away, if it’s too soon, but I -”
She bursts into laughter, pushing herself up onto her knees so that their faces are even. “Too soon? Fitz, we’ve been together in some way for over ten years.”
“Eleven years and eight months,” he corrects, cheeks reddening. “Give or take a few days.”
Grinning, she stretches up to press their foreheads together, curling her fingers gently around the back of his neck. “Yes, I will marry you, Leopold James Fitz. As long as you marry me right back.”
“Deal,” he breathes, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and capturing her lips with his.
“Don’t I get any input?” comes Caedmon’s voice from behind them, and Fitz lets out a small chuckle against Jemma’s lips. She groans quietly, and twists around to look at her daemon. The lion must have moved up to the end of the bed at some point while they were distracted, and now lay with his head resting alongside Sarama’s body.
“Would you like Fitz to propose to you, too?” Jemma deadpans, curling her fingers into Fitz’s shirt.
“I think I’d like that, yes,” her daemon responds, and she lets out a small tsk. Forestalling any further bickering - the two of them had only recently made up, after all, and he doesn’t want them to regress - Fitz leans in to give his fiancée (fiancée!) a kiss on the cheek and then shuffles over to the bed.
“Caedmon,” Fitz says, leaning forward on the edge of the bed so he’s staring the lion head-on, “will you and Jemma marry me and Sarama?”
“Sarama and I,” Jemma corrects from beside him, and he shushes her.
“I’d like that,” Caedmon answers, and then scoots forward enough that Fitz can reach around his head for a hug.
Beside them, Jemma leans down to the edge of the bed, putting herself at eye-level with the lizard. “What do you think, Sarama?” she says, unable to fight the grin that tugs at the corner of her mouth. “Marry us, too?”
“About time,” Sarama teases in response, lifting up onto her front legs so that Jemma can scoop her up onto her arm.
With that, Jemma wraps her other arm around Fitz’s back, nuzzling into his neck. They stay like that for quite some time, giggling sporadically about their oddly shaped four-way hug but each of them knowing that this was exactly the way it was meant to be. Jemma and Caedmon with Fitz and Sarama - happiest together, no matter where that was.
(Fitz doesn’t have the ring yet - he has to call his mum and have his grandmother’s mailed over to them in the US. Jemma’s more than happy to wait.)
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Hello! I love Side by Side. Your writing is incredible. And not just for this, but in all your works. Two (unrelating) questions: 1) Are you published? I'd love to read your original works. 2)About the epilogue, why did Caedmon refuse to speak to Jemma? Does it have to do with Will?
my, what a flattering question!
I’m not published - in fact, the longest thing I’ve ever written and finished is my fanfic. (that is… not a fact I’m especially proud of, but there it is. plot is evil.) and tbh, even if I were published, I wouldn’t be able to talk about it on here in association with my username anyway - it’d ruin the whole “anonymity” thing I’ve got goin’ on. ;-) but I really appreciate the kind words and the vote of confidence - thank you!!
*sigh* ah, the Side By Side!dark planet. I’ve gotten a few questions about this on AO3 as well - I’ll get over there to answer them when I have time.
it sort of has to do with Will, although not in the same way as it was in canon (aka. no romance), but it mostly has to do with the way that the existence of daemons fundamentally changes the way the world works in that story. (and honestly, fixes half a dozen logic flaws in that entire canon Maveth storyline.) it does take a bit of explaining, however, so bear with me - lots of His Dark Materials in here.
In that ‘verse, Hive actually feeds off of daemons, or, more specifically, the Dust/Rusakov particles that connects humans and their daemons. While studying the Rusakov particles and in search of Hive, NASA sends Will and his team through the monolith. One by one, Hive rids the team members of their daemons, thereby killing them through torturous means. A human cannot survive once their daemon is dead - except in the following, extremely rare circumstance. The remaining team members go insane - partially because of the isolation/planet, and partially out of terror that their daemons will be next. During a struggle involving the advanced Hydra/NASA equipment they brought with them, somehow Will is severed from his daemon (a part-husky, part-terrier mix named Laika), who disappears just like daemons do when their humans die.
Because of the way “severing” happens, though, the human doesn’t die - it turns them into a “lifeless shell” of a person who has been separated permanently from their soul. Their survival instincts still exist, but almost everything else about them is just… gone. (This is from HDM; it has to do with how the separation happens and the equipment used, not anything from the SHIELD-verse.) As a result, Will outlasts the rest of his teammates, all of whom die as Hive finds them one by one on the planet and consumes their daemons. (They are not “severed,” which is a specific term used for what happens to Will.) Hive has no reason to kill Will because he no longer can feed off the Rusakov particles - Will is irrelevant to him. Without a soul and the need for more than basic sustenance, he manages to exist for 14 years just because he doesn’t quite know how to stop living. He’s empty in a way from which there is no coming back.
After 2 months of surviving on the planet alone, Jemma and Caedmon meet Will, but it’s difficult to befriend someone who no longer has a soul or a personality. He speaks, but barely, and spends a lot of time just sitting and staring at the walls of the cave. (I draw this from HDM directly, where Lyra tries to befriend a boy who has been severed from his daemon.) This, however, is why Jemma and Caedmon are confined to the cave while Will is not - Will has nothing to lose by going out into Hive’s storms, whereas Jemma could lose Caedmon (and, therefore, herself).
Much of the middle part of their time on the dark planet takes place similarly - trying to get home to Fitz and Sarama, and having their last chance go up in proverbial flames. They are inconsolable - not that their severed companion would know how to console them anyway. However, Caedmon wants to keep looking, while Jemma’s heart is just broken - she can’t see any way home again. One of the reasons he stops speaking to her is because she just gave up, and it takes him a long time to forgive her for that. (Which is, in effect, what I think happens in canon and makes her recovery process that much more difficult. Her relationship with Caedmon is a physical variation of her canonical depression and self-loathing, ca. 3x04.)
In the meantime, Jemma tries to make herself as much at home on the planet as she can, which includes her attempting to help return some of Will’s humanity. (A fool’s errand, she knows, but it gives her something to do.) She notices that sometimes Will’s eyes just follow Caedmon around - it’s been so long since he’s had a daemon, after all. (This kind of behavior by someone who has been severed is, again, drawn from HDM.) And Jemma misses having Fitz around to hold Caedmon. So eventually she tries to convince Caedmon to let Will touch him. She reminds him that she won’t ever love anyone like Fitz - let alone someone who is barely human at this point - but it would be the kind thing to do. How horrible must it be for him to live without his soul? They argue about it for a long time, and ultimately, Jemma wins out. Caedmon backs into a corner of the cave, a low growl in his throat as Will reaches over to pet his head.
Jemma tries to hold it in, tries to let it happen, but she retches, bursting into sobs immediately. It’s not the same when it’s not Fitz, and she can feel the revulsion and anger rolling off of her daemon through their bond. It doesn’t take long for Will to notice and withdraw his hand. Caedmon runs, escaping the cave and sprinting away. Jemma and Will follow him, Jemma calling for her daemon through the sand dunes, and the humans get separated. Just as she catches up, reaching forward to try to bring Caedmon back to safety, the flare explodes into the night sky.
Caedmon looks up and breathes: “Fitz.”
The two of them sprint into motion, running towards the flare as fast as they can. The next few minutes happen just like in canon - although here, Fitz has Sarama strapped to his shoulder in a peudo-tact gear holder. :-)
This takes place after she’s been on what she knows as the dark planet for a little over 4.5 months. Fitz never gets to the point of discovering the Maveth name, and thus her referring to it as the dark planet throughout the epilogue. It’s ultimately thanks to Skye’s weasel daemon that they get back sooner than in canon - he keeps sniffing around the monolith, sure he knows something about it, but it takes him a long time to figure that out, and then it takes them even longer to figure out how to tap into and manipulate those vibrations without killing Skye in the process. (Although I also definitely think that a big part of Fitz’s initial search involved him hunting for the Subtle Knife. :-) )
Once back home, Jemma curls into Fitz’s arms and won’t leave - if she’s not crying, she’s kissing him anywhere she can reach, and he doesn’t stop her. As if he would deny her anything, especially then. (The only time he isn’t holding her back is when he needs to exercise his left arm; ever since the pod, it continues to have tremors and gets stiff if it isn’t in motion for a long time.) She tells him everything - all of it - as soon as she’s able. But she feels guilty for not even thinking about Will as she escaped. His life is so horrible without his daemon, shouldn’t they try to rescue him? Fitz agrees without hesitation.
But when she finally separates from Fitz for any long period of time, Caedmon doesn’t follow her. If Fitz goes to shower, Caedmon goes with him. If he goes to the lab, Caedmon goes with him. The lion pretends that Jemma doesn’t exist. (During their first journey through the monolith, Jemma and Caedmon experience the same kind of bond stretching that Lyra and Pan experience when she goes to the land of the dead - rather than the 2-story bond that is elaborated in SBS, they can travel much further distances from each other from that point on.) For all intents and purposes, her daemon (her soul) abandons her in favor of staying with Fitz. It’s heartbreaking.
It’s also the final step in the story that really begins in SBS proper - the two of them are always more at odds than most people are with their daemons. That storyline is the final lesson that the two of them need to learn - Jemma can’t always rely on her logic, and Caedmon cannot ignore her and follow his instincts all the time. They have to learn how to work together, and it’s been something they’ve been learning their entire lives. This storyline - taking the form as an exploration of Jemma’s long journey to recovery from her PTSD - is the culmination of that.
So that’s that. I was giving serious thought in the fall to writing this out as a one shot post-SBS, but decided to scrap that idea. it’s too sad, and not at all in keeping with the tone of the original fic. and I’d rather be writing happy things. :-) but hopefully this adequately answers your question - sorry it got so long, lol. lots of explaining necessary.
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I really love reading through your SBS tidbits tag! How were Jemma's time undercover at Hydra and Fitz's recovering from the pod changed due to the nature of their relationship in that universe? Thanks!
oh boy. now that’s some heavy stuff. (and thank you! haha I’m glad!)
[the SBS ‘verse pod scene can be found here]
the main issue at hand is still Fitz’s self esteem after the brain injury. it’s easier in this ‘verse for Jemma to be caring and loving of Fitz during his recovery because she’s had years of practice of showing him affection throughout their relationship, and she has her own reference point this time - the way that Fitz helped her after the 8/8 bomb. she also doesn’t have to tiptoe around her own feelings for him (or his feelings for her) like canon Jemma did. unfortunately, none of that really ameliorates his own frustration with and (unwarranted) shame about his need for recovery and physical/other therapy.
what really guts Jemma and Caedmon, though, is Sarama’s behavior. not only does she stop speaking - as it says in the epilogue - she stops spending all of her time with the lion, instead preferring to stick to Fitz like glue. this hurts and worries both Jemma and Caedmon deeply - after all, Sarama had spent a full decade choosing to spend time with Caedmon rather than doing just about anything else. but they don’t say anything because if that’s what Fitz and Sarama need during their recovery, then that’s how things should be. but it causes Caedmon in particular a great amount of pain.
the lion tries to make up for this by being extra cuddly with Fitz, which actually sort of works. even though he has trouble speaking, Fitz still shows Caedmon affection, and some nights he falls asleep curled around the lion rather than Jemma. she doesn’t mind this at all; it brings her to happy tears on more than one occasion. even if Fitz is having trouble with his recovery, and they’ve been bickering, and he’s frustrated with how slow he is at relearning how to speak, at least he still wants to hold her daemon. it’s that memory that keeps her going once she leaves for Hydra.
which, yes, Jemma and Caedmon still make the decision to do. Fitz’s recovery is going slowly, both because he’s relying on Jemma and because half the time he’s ashamed to make mistakes around her (and mistakes, of course, are an important part of that kind of therapeutic process.) so they ask for the undercover position, and Coulson grants it to them. but they don’t lie to Fitz and Sarama about where they’re going - they say that they can’t give specifics, but that they’re going to be undercover for SHIELD for a long time. they don’t know when they’ll be back, or how often they’ll be able to write, but they love them, and they’ll return as soon as they can.
Fitz and Sarama don’t believe them. they still think, as in canon, that Jemma and Caedmon left because now they’re “useless.”
whenever Jemma meets with Coulson, she passes messages to him for Fitz, and he responds, also through Coulson. (fortunately for them, Papa!Coulson is more than happy to help.) in some ways, corresponding through writing is good for their relationship and for Fitz specifically, because it avoids the stuttering that he hates so much. when she eventually gets back, their relationship continues to heal slowly - they’re not good at sharing their feelings, and Fitz lets the resentment about her leaving when he needed her most build, until they eventually have a huge blow-out. the fight, though painful, actually manages to clear the air between them, letting Fitz finally express his feelings and giving Jemma the chance to make it abundantly clear that her father was wrong about why she fell in love with Fitz. she loves his mind, yes, but it was his heart that she so adores. and even if he is different now, she will love every version of his self that he chooses to share with her - if he actually allows her in. they’ve both made mistakes; but it’ll be better if they start making them together.
this happens not long after Skye and her daemon undergo terrigenesis, so mid-season 2. Sarama finds her voice again as she’s helping Skye’s daemon come to terms with his and Skye’s own new version of themselves. helping their friends, oddly enough, gives Sarama the courage to go back to Caedmon. (and in this ‘verse, there’s no hiding the results of Skye’s DNA test.)
FitzSimmons re-learn how to be in a relationship together as adults - they started dating at such a young age, the relationship itself never really grew as they did. they have a silly second “first date” in the mess hall, and the night that “Real SHIELD” takes over the base, they make love for the first time since the pod. in some ways, they’ve never been happier. Jemma makes an offhand remark about marriage as they lie together in bed one morning, and Fitz doesn’t shy away. she suddenly has the sense that he’d been thinking about it all on his own - and maybe it was about time they stopped taking each other for granted. maybe it was time they stopped always prioritizing their work and started prioritizing the life that they wanted to build together.
and then Jemma and Caedmon are taken by the monolith.
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Hey! I just finished Side By Side and I absolutely loved it! Thank you for writing it, I loved the HDM trilogy so daemon!fitzsimmons was a dream come true. I do have a question about your au, if you don't mind. I wondered what would have happened in "FZZT" in your AU? Did any of that happen in your universe? If so, how did it work? If Jemma jumped, did Caedmon fall too? Or was there some struggle/pull of their bond? It was just a question that came to me after reading and I'm curious, haha :)
aw what a sweet thing to say, buddy, thank you so much!! I had so much fun getting lost in Side By Side (I loved HDM too!), and it makes me so happy to hear when other people enjoyed it. :-)
FZZT in this universe is actually still a huge turning point for FitzSimmons, as it was in canon. it mostly happens the same - virus contraction, Fitz & Sarama breaking quarantine, Jemma & Fitz fighting as they work desperately to find a cure that they aren’t sure is coming, etc. although one different (well, new?) thing really does break my heart is something that happens right after Jemma knocks Fitz out with the fire extinguisher.
Jemma and Caedmon decide together to knock Fitz out - they don’t need to say anything, they look at each other behind his and Sarama’s backs and they know. it’s time.
(they don’t need to knock out Sarama, of course - she’s too small to be a hindrance to their plan. which, let me tell you, she does not like. it feeds into her own arc through current events, her self confidence issues.)
Caedmon can’t say goodbye to her - he just doesn’t know how - so he presses their noses together at the edge of the table just as Jemma runs for the door release. Sarama’s screams haunt both their dreams for weeks. once the door is closed and Jemma has the loading dock going, she turns back to her daemon. he asks if he can stay up here with them and, blinking back tears, she nods - snapping their bond might kill them faster, actually, and be less painful than crashing into the ocean at terminal velocity.
Jemma presses their foreheads together to say goodbye, scrunching her hands into his mane, and then quickly turns to step to the edge of the loading bay. by this point, Fitz has stood up again, and the first thing he sees is Caedmon sitting on his haunches by the glass doors, just watching Fitz - and Fitz realizes exactly what this means. he goes berserk, throwing himself against the doors. Caedmon, unable to see the moving mouse from where he is until the doors open, doesn’t know and can’t hear why Fitz is screaming - he assumes he just doesn’t want them to die (of course he doesn’t). Jemma turns to look at Fitz and their eyes meet just as the doors open and as the wind whooshes her away.
Fitz lunges for the parachutes and grabs one, but not for himself - he forces it onto Caedmon, pushing the lion bodily towards the end of the loading dock and just barely managing to get his legs through the arm holes. these parachutes aren’t made for lions, even small ones, but it’s better than nothing. Caedmon, for the record, is letting him do all of this - if he were resisting, Fitz wouldn’t be able to do it, lol. but Caedmon saw the mice heal, too, and so he lets Fitz put on the parachute and shove him off the plane - nearly falling over himself but stumbling back just in time. Fitz sprints to the parachutes again, and then trips when Sarama screams for him to come get her - and that’s when Ward finally arrives, tucking his daemon’s metal container into his pocket, grabbing the parachute from Fitz, and leaping out of the plane to save Jemma (and yank the parachute string on Caedmon on his way down).
in this universe, this event instigates the chasm between FitzSimmons that we don’t see until season 2 in canon - Fitz and Sarama are so bloody angry at Jemma and Caedmon for breaking their promise, for leaving them, for sacrificing themselves, for not believing that they could fix it together.
it takes them all a long time to heal that rift.
I hope that answers your question satisfactorily! I know a lot about the canon timeline of events, lmao. :-)
what was it like for fitz, having caed with him constantly and refusing to go back to jemma? did he try to talk to him about it, ask him to speak to her etc? also i know the bond had been stretched but did jemma still have to keep kinda near fitz or risk death or was she generally just near him anyway?
Fitz was devastated - but it’s such a complicated situation for both him and Sarama. normally, Sarama’s the one who would talk to Caedmon about something like this, but for the first time possibly ever, he flat-out refuses to talk about it to her at all. he doesn’t even ask Fitz if he can follow him around, he just… goes wherever he goes. if Fitz goes on a mission that Caedmon can’t worm his way into, he waits in the hangar until Fitz returns. when Fitz goes to shower or to the bathroom, Caedmon waits outside the door. Caedmon talks to Sarama as usual about everything else, and they still spend most of their time curled together, but with this thing hanging over them all, Sarama feels extremely anxious. as does Fitz.
and it’s hard because Fitz loves both Jemma and Caedmon equally - they’re the same being, after all. but now one of them has outright rejected the other, so what can Fitz do? generally, a person’s relationship with their daemon is the business of no one else, not even their spouse or partner. it’s something of the utmost privacy. but does that even apply anymore when the daemon is basically acting as someone else’s daemon?
then of course Fitz sees how Jemma is suffering, and it physically pains him to watch her be all alone like this. when she does make brief forays into the lab, she’s this diminished figure without her daemon by her side or nearby. Fitz and Jemma talk about Caedmon leaving her, but Jemma doesn’t have much to say about it - she’s already told Fitz everything. if Fitz brings it up, she usually struggles not to cry. (she misses her daemon so terribly, but she cannot really blame Caedmon for hating her. she doesn’t have a counterargument. in the end, this part of the storyline is effectively a parable about Jemma refusing to forgive herself.) and it’s a bit awkward for them to talk about it, because inevitably Caedmon is nearby - it’s sort of like gossiping about someone while they’re standing right there.
Sarama, in return, tries to spend as much time with Jemma as she can, but without the stretched bond that Jemma and Caedmon have, she can only be away from Fitz for so long. Jemma and Caedmon’s rift causes her immense distress, but she doesn’t know what to do - she’s only one lizard, and neither of them listen to her. well, Jemma does. when Sarama climbs onto her lap or arms, Jemma does take a lot of comfort from her presence. but it isn’t enough, of course.
as I conceive of it, Jemma and Caedmon’s unplanned trip through the monolith (as opposed to Fitz’s two planned trips, with Sarama strapped to him), stretched their bond in the same way that Lyra and Pan’s was - if I remember it correctly, it became nigh unbreakable after that particular traumatic event, and effectively limitless. but Jemma and Caedmon never test it past the edges of the expansive base’s borders, simply because it would be such a social taboo. that’s the only reason why Caedmon doesn’t insist on going with Fitz on missions to which Jemma hasn’t been assigned. he does try at first, but Fitz convinces him to stay at the base. as it is, Caedmon’s behavior has drawn the attention of most of their colleagues anyway.
Fitz does notice that Caedmon will nudge him throughout the day while he’s working for head scratches far more than he used to, far more than is normal around their colleagues. Fitz never refuses him, but he uses that as a jumping off point for starting a conversation about him and Jemma. but ultimately, this isn’t something Fitz and Sarama can help with - they can encourage Caedmon to talk to Jemma, and reassure them both of their unwavering love and support, but this is about Jemma and her daemon. the two of them need to work things out on their own. (and/or perhaps a little help from Andrew.)
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