Hello! I love Side by Side. Your writing is incredible. And not just for this, but in all your works. Two (unrelating) questions: 1) Are you published? I'd love to read your original works. 2)About the epilogue, why did Caedmon refuse to speak to Jemma? Does it have to do with Will?
my, what a flattering question!
I’m not published - in fact, the longest thing I’ve ever written and finished is my fanfic. (that is… not a fact I’m especially proud of, but there it is. plot is evil.) and tbh, even if I were published, I wouldn’t be able to talk about it on here in association with my username anyway - it’d ruin the whole “anonymity” thing I’ve got goin’ on. ;-) but I really appreciate the kind words and the vote of confidence - thank you!!
*sigh* ah, the Side By Side!dark planet. I’ve gotten a few questions about this on AO3 as well - I’ll get over there to answer them when I have time.
it sort of has to do with Will, although not in the same way as it was in canon (aka. no romance), but it mostly has to do with the way that the existence of daemons fundamentally changes the way the world works in that story. (and honestly, fixes half a dozen logic flaws in that entire canon Maveth storyline.) it does take a bit of explaining, however, so bear with me - lots of His Dark Materials in here.
In that ‘verse, Hive actually feeds off of daemons, or, more specifically, the Dust/Rusakov particles that connects humans and their daemons. While studying the Rusakov particles and in search of Hive, NASA sends Will and his team through the monolith. One by one, Hive rids the team members of their daemons, thereby killing them through torturous means. A human cannot survive once their daemon is dead - except in the following, extremely rare circumstance. The remaining team members go insane - partially because of the isolation/planet, and partially out of terror that their daemons will be next. During a struggle involving the advanced Hydra/NASA equipment they brought with them, somehow Will is severed from his daemon (a part-husky, part-terrier mix named Laika), who disappears just like daemons do when their humans die.
Because of the way “severing” happens, though, the human doesn’t die - it turns them into a “lifeless shell” of a person who has been separated permanently from their soul. Their survival instincts still exist, but almost everything else about them is just… gone. (This is from HDM; it has to do with how the separation happens and the equipment used, not anything from the SHIELD-verse.) As a result, Will outlasts the rest of his teammates, all of whom die as Hive finds them one by one on the planet and consumes their daemons. (They are not “severed,” which is a specific term used for what happens to Will.) Hive has no reason to kill Will because he no longer can feed off the Rusakov particles - Will is irrelevant to him. Without a soul and the need for more than basic sustenance, he manages to exist for 14 years just because he doesn’t quite know how to stop living. He’s empty in a way from which there is no coming back.
After 2 months of surviving on the planet alone, Jemma and Caedmon meet Will, but it’s difficult to befriend someone who no longer has a soul or a personality. He speaks, but barely, and spends a lot of time just sitting and staring at the walls of the cave. (I draw this from HDM directly, where Lyra tries to befriend a boy who has been severed from his daemon.) This, however, is why Jemma and Caedmon are confined to the cave while Will is not - Will has nothing to lose by going out into Hive’s storms, whereas Jemma could lose Caedmon (and, therefore, herself).
Much of the middle part of their time on the dark planet takes place similarly - trying to get home to Fitz and Sarama, and having their last chance go up in proverbial flames. They are inconsolable - not that their severed companion would know how to console them anyway. However, Caedmon wants to keep looking, while Jemma’s heart is just broken - she can’t see any way home again. One of the reasons he stops speaking to her is because she just gave up, and it takes him a long time to forgive her for that. (Which is, in effect, what I think happens in canon and makes her recovery process that much more difficult. Her relationship with Caedmon is a physical variation of her canonical depression and self-loathing, ca. 3x04.)
In the meantime, Jemma tries to make herself as much at home on the planet as she can, which includes her attempting to help return some of Will’s humanity. (A fool’s errand, she knows, but it gives her something to do.) She notices that sometimes Will’s eyes just follow Caedmon around - it’s been so long since he’s had a daemon, after all. (This kind of behavior by someone who has been severed is, again, drawn from HDM.) And Jemma misses having Fitz around to hold Caedmon. So eventually she tries to convince Caedmon to let Will touch him. She reminds him that she won’t ever love anyone like Fitz - let alone someone who is barely human at this point - but it would be the kind thing to do. How horrible must it be for him to live without his soul? They argue about it for a long time, and ultimately, Jemma wins out. Caedmon backs into a corner of the cave, a low growl in his throat as Will reaches over to pet his head.
Jemma tries to hold it in, tries to let it happen, but she retches, bursting into sobs immediately. It’s not the same when it’s not Fitz, and she can feel the revulsion and anger rolling off of her daemon through their bond. It doesn’t take long for Will to notice and withdraw his hand. Caedmon runs, escaping the cave and sprinting away. Jemma and Will follow him, Jemma calling for her daemon through the sand dunes, and the humans get separated. Just as she catches up, reaching forward to try to bring Caedmon back to safety, the flare explodes into the night sky.
Caedmon looks up and breathes: “Fitz.”
The two of them sprint into motion, running towards the flare as fast as they can. The next few minutes happen just like in canon - although here, Fitz has Sarama strapped to his shoulder in a peudo-tact gear holder. :-)
This takes place after she’s been on what she knows as the dark planet for a little over 4.5 months. Fitz never gets to the point of discovering the Maveth name, and thus her referring to it as the dark planet throughout the epilogue. It’s ultimately thanks to Skye’s weasel daemon that they get back sooner than in canon - he keeps sniffing around the monolith, sure he knows something about it, but it takes him a long time to figure that out, and then it takes them even longer to figure out how to tap into and manipulate those vibrations without killing Skye in the process. (Although I also definitely think that a big part of Fitz’s initial search involved him hunting for the Subtle Knife. :-) )
Once back home, Jemma curls into Fitz’s arms and won’t leave - if she’s not crying, she’s kissing him anywhere she can reach, and he doesn’t stop her. As if he would deny her anything, especially then. (The only time he isn’t holding her back is when he needs to exercise his left arm; ever since the pod, it continues to have tremors and gets stiff if it isn’t in motion for a long time.) She tells him everything - all of it - as soon as she’s able. But she feels guilty for not even thinking about Will as she escaped. His life is so horrible without his daemon, shouldn’t they try to rescue him? Fitz agrees without hesitation.
But when she finally separates from Fitz for any long period of time, Caedmon doesn’t follow her. If Fitz goes to shower, Caedmon goes with him. If he goes to the lab, Caedmon goes with him. The lion pretends that Jemma doesn’t exist. (During their first journey through the monolith, Jemma and Caedmon experience the same kind of bond stretching that Lyra and Pan experience when she goes to the land of the dead - rather than the 2-story bond that is elaborated in SBS, they can travel much further distances from each other from that point on.) For all intents and purposes, her daemon (her soul) abandons her in favor of staying with Fitz. It’s heartbreaking.
It’s also the final step in the story that really begins in SBS proper - the two of them are always more at odds than most people are with their daemons. That storyline is the final lesson that the two of them need to learn - Jemma can’t always rely on her logic, and Caedmon cannot ignore her and follow his instincts all the time. They have to learn how to work together, and it’s been something they’ve been learning their entire lives. This storyline - taking the form as an exploration of Jemma’s long journey to recovery from her PTSD - is the culmination of that.
So that’s that. I was giving serious thought in the fall to writing this out as a one shot post-SBS, but decided to scrap that idea. it’s too sad, and not at all in keeping with the tone of the original fic. and I’d rather be writing happy things. :-) but hopefully this adequately answers your question - sorry it got so long, lol. lots of explaining necessary.
If you want to know more about post-Side By Side, click here!
More SbS questions. Hope you don't mind. I just can't enough of your universe. After rescuing Jemma from Maveth, did Fitz still rent out the entire restaurant? Was there still a 6-month+ reservation? If so, did Jemma break down in the middle of it? Also, how did Jemma break the news about Will, and how did Fitz react to it? Nothing romantic happened with Will, but she did allow another man to touch Caedmon. Thanks so much for answering all these SbS questions!
I don’t mind at all! thanks for asking, and for being interested in Side By Side! :-)
[a full account of Jemma’s time on the SBS!dark planet can be found here]
but, lol buddy, most of this ask implicitly attributes a lot of weight to a character who means very little in the long run. as it should be treated in the fandom as well as canon, Will in this ‘verse is little more than a point on the story board - not something or someone that drives either Jemma or Fitz’s behavior.
and “allow another man to” - that makes it sound like she let him touch her boob or something. you have to remember that Will in this universe does not have a soul (and hasn’t for 14 years). his gender and sexuality are a moot point. in thinking about it, I don’t believe Will could actually consent to anything romantic or sexual anyway, in addition to not having an interest in it himself. without a daemon, he was empty. the only thing he wanted in the world, pretty much, is to have his daemon back. getting back to earth doesn’t even really interest him - this is why severing/intercision is so horrific. it scoops the person’s soul right out of them. (hey, fun comparison - Hive in this universe kind of becomes like a Dementor.)
yes, Jemma did have Will touch Caedmon, but a) even if she did briefly think beforehand about how much she missed having Fitz touch Caedmon, she already knew it wouldn’t be the same - she has an acute self awareness that canon!Jemma did not, b) it made her feel physically ill, and c) the main reason was because she was living with someone who had no daemon.
imagine watching the person you live with day in and out, a friend who saved your life, exist as a shell of a human being. the only time you ever see them show real interest in anything, a flicker of life behind their soulless eyes, is when they look at your daemon. who could blame Jemma for wanting to alleviate that suffering? (even though it isn’t suffering as we know it, because without his daemon, Will can’t actually feel anything.)
Fitz certainly doesn’t blame Jemma. neither does he feel any jealousy about Will, frankly, because he understands instinctively the horror of being a human without a daemon. Fitz is empathetic enough that he relates to Jemma’s urge - he thinks that he might have offered the same thing to Will if he had been in that situation. what else could you do for someone whose soul would never return? there is no respite from something like that.
there isn’t any “news” for Jemma to “break” to Fitz about Will - it’s all about explaining her time on the planet, and most importantly, explaining why Caedmon is refusing to speak to her. although Jemma instigates the physical contact between Will and Caedmon that acts as the last straw between her and her daemon, Jemma giving up hope on ever seeing Fitz and Sarama again is the true crux of their rift. she gives up on them and tries to make the best of the life that they have on the dark planet, and Caedmon cannot forgive her for that.
see, in this universe, the emphasis is not on Will, who is barely even a person after Hydra destroyed him (not that he was ever a full character on the show anyway, zing), or even on Fitz - the story at that point in this ‘verse is about Jemma and her learning to live with all parts of herself, and her recovery from severe PTSD, as it should always have been.
Jemma’s trauma is severe, so she can’t quite verbalize everything to Fitz right after returning from the dark planet (it’s not Maveth, because after only 5 months Fitz never finds that scroll), but as soon as she’s able to tell him, she tells him about Will right away as just one important part in her story. she does so while curled up against Fitz’s chest in their bed, with him handing her tissues and water as needed. what really does need explaining is why Caedmon isn’t talking to her, but even she doesn’t understand that that’s happening at first. Jemma and Fitz spend so much time together in her first days of return and recovery that they don’t even notice Caedmon’s behavior. once they finally notice that Caedmon is ignoring her and following Fitz around instead, it takes Jemma a little bit longer to figure out why, and at that point she explains her last couple of hours on the dark planet to Fitz in greater detail - not because she was hiding it, but because it hadn’t yet come up. they had already talked about trying to go back and save Will, but Fitz was taking charge of the search while insisting that Jemma continue to rest and recuperate.
I hadn’t really thought about the dinner, but, you know what - I think there was one. Fitz was planning on proposing that night when Jemma gets swallowed up by the monolith, so he has the reservation held for the 5 months that she and Caedmon are gone. when they return, he’s worried about Jemma’s recovery, as well as being seriously concerned by Caedmon’s behavior (aka. sticking to Fitz like glue and abandoning his human). he decides to take them to dinner for the same reasons that he does in canon - but, unfortunately, it backfires. Jemma, trying to behave normally, points out to Caedmon that there’s filet mignon on the menu - he loves filet mignon. the lion - curled up halfway underneath Fitz’s chair - doesn’t answer her.
Fitz, looking worriedly at where Jemma’s starting to tear up, says that Caedmon probably just didn’t hear her, and bends over to get Caed’s attention. Caedmon answers Fitz straight away, and Jemma bursts into tears. unsure what else to do, Fitz comes around to her side of the table and lets her cry onto his shoulder, watching as Sarama whispers something he can’t hear to Caedmon, who keeps his head turned resolutely away from the other end of the table. as much as Fitz and Sarama want to help, this is something that Jemma and Caedmon have to learn to reconcile on their own.
If you want to know more about post-Side By Side, click here!
hi! just wanna ask a couple questions about SBS and daemon mythology: so does Will not die when his daemon is gone because of the Hive connection? did the other NASA members die because of the daemon severance?
hey buddy, answered those questions by editing the original post. :-) hope that helps!
Hey there! I checked the poll's link (best couples) and I noticed Jemma/Will had more votes than FitzSimmons WTF! I don't think there are actually more Jemma/Will shippers than FitzSimmons shippers..
*rubs temples* I’m sorry guys, but this is gonna be the last ask I answer about this poll because it’s driving me batty.
the poll is extremely easy to troll - all you have to do is use a few different devices to vote multiple times a day, so that is likely what’s happened with the numbers for a bunch of those entries. it’s also likely that someone trolled the Jemma x Will voting option (because seriously - no actual TV poll would include them on a couples listing, they were barely even together on screen) since they knew it would drive the FitzSimmons fandom up the wall. (and look - they’ve succeeded.) either that, or it’s one very fervent and deluded Jemma x Will shipper who is voting a ton of times.
either way, it’s seriously the *last* thing we need to be stressing about, okay? I promise. :-)
I don't care if you landed a spacecraft on a comet, your shirt is sexist and ostracizing
That's one small step for man, three steps back for humankind
By Chris Plante and Arielle Duhaime-Ross
on November 13, 2014 09:24 am
Email
@plante
Yesterday the European Space Agency landed the Philae spacecraft on a comet, a powerful step forward for humanity and science alike. However, slightly before the big moment, coverage of the event reminded us how much progress remains to be accomplished back on Earth.
A number of the scientists involved on this incredible project were interviewed in the hours leading to contact by Nature Newsteam. One of those Rosetta scientists was Matt Taylor, who chose to dress, for this special occasion, in a bowling shirt covered in scantly clad caricatures of sexy women in provocative poses.
"This is going to be a very long day but a very exciting day," said Taylor. "I think everyone should enjoy it because we're making history."
No one knows why Taylor chose to wear that shirt on television during a massive scientific mission. From what we can tell, a woman who goes by the name of Elly Prizeman on Twitter made the shirt for him, and is just as bewildered as he must be that anyone might be upset about her creation. But none of that actually matters. What matters is the fact that no one at ESA saw fit to stop him from representing the Space community with clothing that demeans 50 percent of the world's population. No one asked him to take it off, because presumably they didn't think about it. It wasn't worth worrying about.
This is the sort of casual misogyny that stops women from entering certain scientific fields. They see a guy like that on TV and they don't feel welcome. They see a poster of greased up women in a colleague's office and they know they aren't respected. They hear comments about "bitches" while out at a bar with fellow science students, and they decide to change majors. And those are the women who actually make it that far. Those are the few who persevered even when they were discouraged from pursuing degrees in physics, chemistry, and math throughout high school. These are the women who forged on despite the fact that they were told by elementary school classmates and the media at large that girls who like science are nerdy and unattractive. This is the climate women who dream of working at NASA or the ESA come up against, every single day. This shirt is representative of all of that, whether Taylor meant it to be or not.
The Atlantic journalist Rose Eveleth brilliantly captures what that shirt represents in a community that continues to struggle, if not outright fail, to respect women.
