#sbtips

[spoonfullasugaaa]

Hey guys so I think I’m gonna try to do like some semi-long blog posts about my experiences in the bowl since I’ve been gone from Tumblr. You guys already know about my whale daddy, so I’ll start with telling yall about the time he took me on this super amazing craaaazy luxurious vaca to the Caribbean. You guys can definitely appreciate the story or learn some things about my sb experience. I’ll definitely put up some story time pics and blur them out lmao. More deets to comeeee.

[sugarbowltips]

Support Small Businesses

Don’t sleep on Etsy y’all! honestly, I get makeup and even some clothes from there you can get pretty much anything from Etsy. you get good quality handmade products that aren’t even expensive and you’re supporting a small business like what’s not to love?

[sugarbowltips]

Sugaring on Tinder

If you’re gonna sugar on tinder hang around high end expensive “elite” places you’re more likely to meet a guy who has money to spend and if he doesn't mind paying $700 a night for hotel room he’s probably willing to drop some on you

[sugarbowltips]

Message him first!

Seriously if you wait around for a guy to message you, you might as well delete your account he’s probably not even gonna see your account there are way more girls looking for guys than vice versa! I get it you’re nervous but if you’re gonna let nerves get the best of you you won’t get anything if you’re too shy you can’t be shy here 

the worst that can happen is he turns you down don’t let one old sack of balls fuck with your self-esteem cast your net far and wide even if he says he doesn’t date AA or short girls or tall girls etc. carry yourself with enough confidence so you feel like you’re the “exception” 

you fail once or get no reply or get turned down so fucking what!

[sugarbowltips]

What do you usually do when freestyling?

depends where I am if I’m at a:

Bar- I order good size drink nothing big but not a shot something that I can sip (i like cosmos/kamikazes) while looking around (I’ll get into this next)

Hotel- I’ll go to a fancy expensive hotel sit in the lobby make a phone call pretend I got stood up (like I would at the bar) a guy comes over asks what’s wrong tell him that someone blew me off trade info etc.

Shopping- I use this one a lot I’ll usually go into an upscale store probably a men’s or unisex store checkout ties suits watches the whole shebang if all goes right a guy approaches me asks if I need help or if I’m shopping for someone I say yeah give him my business card (personal shopper) He knows I have a job and that my time is valuable and will probably want to hire me this is my favorite because I literally get paid to go shopping and do it all over again lol

[thepoliticalwhore]

Good Money After Bad

There’s a trap that everyone runs into at some point in their lives. Also known as Escalation of Commitment, it’s the idea that you have to keep chasing a bad idea, because you’ve already put so much into it. Businessmen do it with investments - they keep supporting bad deals because they don’t want to “lose” the money they put in. It happens all the time in casinos - people keep gambling, because they’ve lost so much money they have to keep going -they’ve committed so much eventually their luck has to turn around, right? And good lord, do we ever ALL do it with relationships. I know I have. Stayed in a project with a friend, because I felt like I had gone too far to back out without hurting their feelings, even though I knew pretty quick that working with them was a terrible idea. Stuck with a guy that was treating me like crap because I had already put so much love and support into him, and I didn’t want to face the fact that he was *never* going to return it. If I just stuck around a little bit longer, just demonstrated love and respect and communication more, better, he would finally get it and I would get back what I put in. And of course there’s the fear of admitting failure. Of owning the fact that you made a bad choice, that you misjudged someone, that you undervalued yourself. This is a major pitfall for people in both vanilla relationships and sugar. They don’t want to face the fact that they may have squandered the investment of their time and energy, so they stay in arrangements or relationships that aren’t serving them. They’re afraid to speak up, to state their needs, to set boundaries, because they’re afraid to risk the imaginary potential payoff after all they’ve put in.

The thing you need to realise about these bad deals is that They’re not going to get better. You don’t mortgage your house after losing a couple grand at the craps table. You cut your losses and walk away. Now, I’m not saying to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt, or to give up on things as soon as they get hard. Absolutely fight for what you believe in, put in work, and believe in the power of communication to make things better. I’m saying you need to listen to your gut, and when you know it’s bad, don’t let the illusion of sunk costs trap you. Learn how to admit failure, to recognize a bad pick or a bad fit, and to let it go out of your life, without shame. Muster up the courage to rip the band-aid, to make the uncomfortable short-term decision that will absolutely be better in the long term. It definitely sucks to feel like you’ve “lost” months, or even years of your time, but the solution isn’t to spend more of them. It’s to recognize that you spent them on a lesson, and the thing to do now is learn it, and move on.

[thepoliticalwhore]

Hi! What are your tips for searching for sugar on tinder? Are you totally upfront about wanting to be spoilt on your bio?

I’ve got a personal Tinder and a Sugar Tinder. and in my Sugar profile, I am absolutely up front about what I’m on there for. I’m a huge fan of directness, and honestly, I’m no good at the awkward dance of sussing out men for for POTness. It also takes a bunch of time and energy I really have no interest in investing if it’s not going to go anywhere.

[thepoliticalwhore]

Hi there. I'm a young, gay black guy starting a career in political comms with ambitions of making it to the White House (*waves* fellow politico junkie). Because DC is so expensive and student debt can be crippling, I'm looking to start sugaring so that I can comfortably focus my ambitions without financial. In a perfect world, I'd be happy with $1k/month from a nice relatively attractive SD to go toward my loans. I was hoping you could offer any advice. It's been hard to find gay SDs. Thx!

Aghhh this is what comes from taking a break, I end up missing connecting with cool people. Hopefully this wasn’t from too long ago!Unfortunately I don’t have any directly relevant experience, but this is my best stab at both specific and general advice from a bi, female Canadian ;-) :Given the American political climate, I would assume a lot of the men looking for men in DC are going to be very very closeted. Emphasize your discretion, and how well you can fit in with a political / business social group if you’re looking for an SD to take you out for dinner and whatnot. If you are able to have your own place, 100% emphasize that and your ability to give them an oasis where they can be themselves.Decide which things you’re willing to tweak about yourself to keep an SD happy, and which things will wear you out. Early on I made the mistake of trying to turn myself into what I thought was the quintessential SB. Keeping up a false front was painful, and I ended up fumbling good POTs because I couldn’t bear to put on the show.Figure out what your priorities are for an SD. While there are those very few unicorns out there, attractive, wealthy, kind and respectful SDs, the truth is more of a “pick two” situation. Personally, I will take a smaller allowance or a less attractive SD if it means I can be myself with an SD that respects me as a person. Other SBs are more business minded and are able to field a wider variety of personalities for a higher paycheck.Finally: Marshall your resources. Sugaring is *HARD WORK*. Think of it as all of the demands of a regular relationship, with none of the reciprocity or sit-around-in-your-sweats days. Make sure your mental health is decent. Get yourself a support network of people you can talk to about sugaring - Tumblr is SO good - because you *will* need to vent about stuff. And don’t live beyond your means. Think of Sugar as just that - sugar on top. The money you need to give yourself treats and luxuries and savings. If you end up needing to do it to pay rent, you will end up crossing boundaries and grinding yourself down. I’ve been there, and it’s awful.*Big Hugs* and best of luck! I love Washington and all of the smart ambitious people. I hope you’re having an absolute bast there!