Sleep and sticking to my mealplan have been the last priorities lately idek how I'm still functioning properly lol.. This is just a post to document the goings ons of late and how it has affected my eating-disorder mindset. Ignore it if you want.
Friday the 17th.
Went to see The Minions movie with three friends. Smuggled candy in and ate popcorn and pretzels and shared a huge soda. Got home late, didn't eat any sort of nutritional dinner. Was an awesome time.
Saturday the 18th.
Went to a graduation party of a family friend. Ate tons of food.
Monday the 20th.
My horse had a hooftrim right after work (AND SHE DID WONDERFUL YAYYY!!) After a quick shower, I treated myself to Jurassic World (free movie ticket that's what's up). Epic fuckin movie. Smuggled candy in. Didn't eat dinner again.
Tuesday the 21st.
Made it to the gym after work. Killed it. Ate protein bar and dinner. Felt great.
Wednesday the 22nd.
Went out for a drink at a bar (first time at one yo) with this guy I've been talking to. After that we basically went for a drive and explored the city and had some deep conversations. After thatttt.. well hehe.. lets just say I haven't had a makeout session like that in a looong time. Hoo boy. I didn't get back home until 3:30 in the morning. Had to get up for work at 6:30. Was a zombie that day, but jesus it was worth it. Yolo. Oh and because we were so.. busy, we forgot to eat dinner.
Thursday the 23rd.
My lack of sleep didn't stop me from going out to Tropical Smoothie with a bestie after work. Got home around 10 already half asleep and what do I discover? In my hair on the back of my neck. Small piece of gum. Takes 45 minutes just to get tiny pieces of it out and in so tired, I end up just saying fuck it. I cut it out. At least its at the base of my neck so you can't even tell. Where did the gum come from? Lol pretty sure it was the guy from Wednesday... told you it was a good makeout session..
Saturday the 25th.
Went to a state park with a friend and relaxed on the man-made lake-side beach for several hours. I got tan lines. Yay.
After that, went to movie night at another friend's house. Made it through two and a half movies and pie and ice cream before I crashed. Ended up just staying on her couch all night. Ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breaky then headed home around 9am.
Which leads me to yesterday.
Sunday the 26th.
All this staying out late and skipping dinners and eating fuckloads of candy had started getting to me mentally. I definitely could feel drained of energy. But I also started picking at my flaws more and hating my stomach and wanting to sit around and binge on all the chocolate I could get. But also skip meals as if that would make a difference. So Sunday was my "take a deep breath" day. I cleaned and did laundry and mealprepped with loads of veggies. Back on my mealplan, meeting my caloric goals and not binging on a pint of ice cream. I already feel better. I have to keep in mind that my demons are still around the corner waiting for a weak spot to get me. One bad day of eating wont ruin anything. One week of bad eating won't ruin anything. I woke up this morning with abs again.
I love my friends and this past week has been awesome. I'll be ok.
