SORRY
I'm sorry is a statement, I won't do it again is a promise, How do I make it up to you is a responsibility.
An apology is not a punishment, it's a demonstration of accountability for the hurt caused to another. To take accountability and avoid causing that pain again, we need to understand why it hurt them, why we really did it and take responsibility for correcting our behaviors by growing in our understanding and then acting out of love, respect and kindness. If you don't take responsibility for your actions then you are actually placing the responsibility of the relationship on the other person. You are expecting them to do the work by accepting your behavior and trying to cope with it while focusing on YOUR happiness. You may not be able to change or take back whatever it is that you did, but you can do everything that you can to make amends and learn from your mistakes. Guilt serves as a tool to keep us from doing something hurtful to someone else but it shouldn't control our lives. Inappropriate guilt or guilt that no longer serves it's purpose but rather only makes us suffer, needs to be let go of. It can actually cause us to become selfish. How? Because when we are suffering from guilt then we are not emotionally available to our loved ones, we are withholding the love and joy that we could be sharing with them by being absorbed in our feelings and misery. Inappropriate guilt leads to unnecessary suffering, anger, resentment and feeling victimized. The lesson for us needs to be that we learned what not to do, how to make it right and how to be able to show more love now. The only way to have real connection is by creating a foundation of mutual trust and respect.