#scholvin

[remindingpersephone]

Forever grateful for @scholvin, for his humor and his integrity and his guitar skills.  But most of all, for introducing me to Dawes.

[lafix]

John Mayer Suffers from Adult Acne

Happy Birthday, Scholvin. You're top drawer humanity. ❤️💚💜💙💛

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scholvin replied to your link: Kevin O’Leary says ‘I’m in’ for Conservative...

I blame the UK. They started it.

Fair enough.

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scholvin replied to your post “Twenty-Five Pieces of Basic Sartorial Knowledge So You Don't Look Dumb”

This is all very intimidating.

Admittedly, I don’t like the title of that article.  It isn’t about avoiding looking dumb, in my view, it’s more about looking competent.  Like you know what the details are that need attention, and you see to them.

I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few years living a very different life than I did when I first came to tumblr.  I don’t talk about it much, but my life circumstances are much more ... shall we say simple?  It’s probably easiest if we just say I live a much simpler life.

And I am often faced with the task of trying to appear as if I’ve got my shit together, when the reality may be entirely different.  Interviews.  Working where I do.  Trying to have a social life of some sort.  It all requires going out into the world and interacting with others, and trying to be heard for one reason or another.  

Often I am heard to say that I don’t give shit what people think of me personally, and I really, really don’t.   I like to think that my actions speak louder for me than anything else, and that they bear out my own claims to forthrightness, fairness, kindness, capability.  However, I find myself caring very much about what they think about what I do.  How I behave.  Whether or not they can depend on me to do a job, to complete a task, to keep a secret, to be a fair opponent if we’re going to be in opposition, to support them through difficult circumstances, to tell them the truth when they need to hear it.  I care that I am heard, when asked.

Fact is, how we look impacts how we’re heard.  Not fair?  In some ways.  Nonetheless, fact.   I won’t include commentary here about societal expectations and how obnoxious fashion rules as a whole are and compare women v men.  It is an undeniable fact throughout the ages: how you look matters.

And so, I am careful about how I present myself to the world.  I am careful about how I am seen, which helps to ensure I am heard.

Thankfully, I have always had simple, classic taste.  I am using a purse I’ve had since before my mother died in 2012.  I have a trenchcoat that is, quite literally, 25 years old.  When I buy things, they are fine, they are simple and classic, and I use them forever, because I can, because they last.  That fact alone has carried me through the last 5 years, during which I have not spent any more than $50 on clothing or outfitting myself in any one sitting.

But I like to think that one of the things that has allowed me to slide through this time period with minimal damage to my ~ what?  Image?  Reputation?  The impression I make? ~  is that I keep to the classic fashion rules.  I stick to the basics, I see to the details, it’s comforting and says that I’ve got my shit locked down.  My hose match my shoes.  I’ll use a basic neutral and add a gorgeous pop of colour.  My hands are neat and tidy at the very least, at best a demure but tasteful manicure colour. I dress my age; certainly not younger, but not older, either.  I don’t dress like anyone’s Nana.

I’ve got the added layer of dressing for my size, which is always fun. (read: not fun.)  So I do the whole accentuating my strengths and camouflaging my weaknesses, and I do that externally as well as internally.

One of my strengths is that I am a big ideas person, but I am the one you want on your team to make sure the details are locked down.  I plan, and I research, and I anticipate.  I have the contingencies covered.  That also means that I have my own pen when I interview ~ a good one ~ and a backup tucked in my purse.  My scarf and gloves and purse and boots may not be a perfectly manufactured match, but they all work well together and with my coat.  I smell nice but my scent is not overwhelming and you have to get quite close to me to be able to detect it.  My breath is fresh, my teeth are clean, there are no poppy seeds from my morning bagel tucked in my smile.  You get where I’m going; what you see is actually what you get.

That list is a decent list of the basic men’s fashion standards or rules, and I don’t care if you’re wearing a $100 suit or a $1000 suit, your bottom button ought to be undone.  You need to be able to put your hand in your pocket, and take the damn sleeve tag off; I can tell if it’s wool or not.  Slight break in the crease in your pants; anything more and it looks like you borrowed your pants from your dad.  Tie meets belt line.  Etc etc.  Basic, basic stuff.

The guy whose belt is black but his shoes are tan?  Has to work harder to be heard by me.  I’m not sorry, John; it’s true.  He’s sloppy, he doesn’t care about the details, or perhaps he’s never been interested enough to learn. That’s not to say I’ll never hear him, but why would he want to put himself at a disadvantage right off the hop, before he’s spoken a word?

Are some of the things open for some interpretation?  Well, for me, no, but I get it if someone wants to argue where they should be allowed to wear flip flops.  And there are some polyester blend golf shirts that I absolutely adore, so I’d open that rule up a little, too.  But honestly, it isn’t an overlong list.  It’s foundational men’s fashion knowledge.  It’s knowledge, to be shared, and learned, and applied, and proliferated. 

I’m not trying to shame anyone, but I am trying to be helpful.