#school *

[ochtendstorm]

Ik kan er rationeel niet echt meer in geloven, in dat idee dat ik echt "anders" dan de rest ben. Maar elke keer als ik in een groep mensen ben voelt het wel zo. En ik kan spontaan en enthousiast en "normaal" doen, maar het is zo vermoeiend, want het is maskers en delen van mezelf verstoppen, want ik wil niet anders zijn en ik wil niet diegene zijn met al de mentale problemen, maar ik ben zo moe en zo niet oke deze maanden en het vraagt zoveel om er elke dag te staan en elke dag te zorgen dat ik niet uit de boot val en misschien moet ik meer vertrouwen hebben in de mensen om me heen, maar te duidelijke en te luide emotionele kwetsbaarheid met al z'n lelijke symptomen maakt geen vrienden. Dus ik moet er staan en ik moet maskers hebben en ik moet.

[blvpjeans]

All you studyblrs are out here with your amazingly designed notes and I’m just here like

[jockhunta-blog]

Where is your Claude muse now? Or do you not rp as her anymore?

           hello !   she’s  still  at  @risklove  but  I’ve  actually  been  taking  a  break  from  most  of  my  blogs  the  past  couple  weeks .   even  veronica  has  had  pretty  low  activity .   I  wish  I  could  say  I’d  be  back  to  claude  soon ,  because  I  absolutely  adore  her  and  definitely  still  want  to  write  her ,  but  I’m  actually  moving  into  my  new  apartment  on  the  19th  and  then  classes  are  starting  up  on  the  21st  and  I  really  need  to  buckle  down  this  year  so  I’ll  be  putting  all  of  my  blogs  except  veronica  on  a  hiatus  and  veronica  will  be  on  a  semi - hiatus  at  that  point .   I’ll  probably  return  to  claude  over  winter  break  unless  I’m  able  to  squeeze  her  in  before  then .   if  we’re  mutuals  though  I’m  happy  to  give  you  my  d/iscord  and  we  can  write  there  !   it’s  easier  and  quicker  since  I  don’t  have  to  format  anything  there .

[kawaiianimeredhead]

you know

I’m kinda annoyed by like... idk how expected and like I dunno, I don’t wanna say forced but like how kinda pushed you are in school (at least mine? maybe? I am at the very least pushed by my parents so) to take full credit hours which is about like 4-5 classes

because I get like

I get that that’s kinda like the way things are done up til that point, and I get people wanting to get through school like as quickly as possible

but that’s 

a lot of work

and it just seems so like... I dunno I just...

Just from me, even tho it probably just like I understand that I am making it worse and that I am litterally avoiding so much work that I should be doing and making it harder on myself and plenty of people do this fine with still quite a bit of stress and pressure of course

but I just kinda wish I didn’t have to do that, take so many classes because clearly I have piss poor time management skills and am getting so overwhelmed and  I know that I’d be there longer, but I honestly

like I LIKE taking classes and being in school it’s when I have long essays and tests all on the same day and novels that are expected to be read in a week or less (I’m a super slow reader and also just really shit at picking good times to read) that it just makes it so much worse and miserable

and I’d really love it if I could just take a class or two at a time...? and I feel like that should be prompted as an option more often? Like I guess within the school it kinda is, like I suppose from some of the peeps that matter I don’t recall feeling all the pressured to take full credit hours

but outside of it, I dunno

I guess that’s the feeling of college I get? Like yeah fill you’re time with four or more classes and stress yourself out as you try and simultaneously write essays and study for tests and read things and also somehow sleep eat and haave down time?

like I’m genuinely so blown away and admiring of people who can do that especially if they have kids and like full times jobs. That’s crazy! 

and I feel like I had more things to say and more of a point but I have just

gotten really tired of school lately

and it probably just seems and /is/ so ridiculous coming from me who clearly is seen not doing what she’s supposed as it’s documented that I’m on tumblr or youtube for most of the day

but I just...

I get like tastes of what not being in school is like, like with this weekend I tried to completely clear school from my mind because I wanted to have a birthday that felt good, and I know like moving on to the “real world” comes with it’s own problems and deadlines

but it also comes with a hell of a lot less essays and I have seriously... I haven’t likes essays since like 10th grade? and even then it was the one class because that was a really nice lit class I felt really good in there. and I just

am so tired

[lke-remade]

ok i jst finished my hw and now im going to bed gn!!!!!

[poetrykidz-blog]

tfw the new episode of naruto is coming out tomorrow but justin is making you go to an extra lesson because you're not caught up on all your credits but all you want is to see itachi

[poetrykidz-blog]

There was this girl at my school who helped me with some of my work and she just had a baby a few months ago and she was so sweet and patient and funny and she told me about how she was excited to graduate next month and we didn't even know each other's names but it was so nice I hope her and her boyfriend and their baby can all be happy