Jul 16, 2025
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the school board be like:
AH YES A SCHOOL TERM OF 50 DAYS, NOW WHEN TO PLACE THE CLASS EXAMS!
OH I KNOW!!!
PUT ALL OF THEM INTO TWO DAYS RIGHT BEFORE THE NATIONAL EXAMS.
NOT TO MENTION, LETS DO THAT WHILE HALF THE PEOPLE ARE UNABLE TO COME SINCE THEY ARE LITERALLY DROWNING DUE TO FLOODS
So in my school, egg Mayo is something like 72p, meanwhile egg mayonnaise is like 86p
University Logic
University: To help expand what you learn, you are required to take a subject from 5 fields of study, even if they aren’t your own. That means art students must take a science course.
Me, and art student: Ok I guess that makes sense. Can I take this science course?
University: HOW DARE YOU THAT IS A SCIENCE COURSE FOR SCIENCE STUDENTS! ONLY SCIENCE PEOPLE CAN LEARN THE SCIENCE OFFERED BY SCIENCE COURSES!
Me: Ok sorry. So do I not take a science course?
University: No, you need a science course. You’re an art student.
school “logic”
“Be yourself but not like that”
“Yes of course you can do whatever you want, as long as I approve”
“Music? Art? those aren’t real jobs”
“Don’t wear that we don’t want people to call you names”
“when I was in your age...”
“no you can’t smoke, yes I can”
“do you want to end up criminals??”
“you have a problem? solve it with your parents.”
“no there’s no way a teacher said that. You misunderstood”
“you will do everything i say without complain”
“teachers know better”
“don’t be dumb”
“No we aren’t bad in our jobs, you are just stupid. “
“I CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND MEAN, AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DEFEND YOURSELF”
“money is the most important thing in the world”
“everything we do, we do it for you”
“What do you mean you don’t like school?”
Just High School Things (UK Version)
- The boys’ toilets are never flushed, the ceiling is covered in wet toilet paper and because of this, there’s no toilet paper available while the girls’ stalls all seem to be well-kept and clean.
- Every time someone somehow passes out and is taken to hospital in an ambulance, everyone stops what they’re doing in class to watch that person be taken away.
- There’s a fire drill every couple months or so but never a fire.
- There’s that one class that eventually moves from the cosy classroom in the school to a “temporary” classroom in one of those bunkers outside because your usual room was “booked” for the day by another class but you end up never going back.
- The windows look like they were placed there in the 40s and haven’t been touched since.
- All you ever learn in IT is 1% programming, 10% making games (in Scratch) and 89% Microsoft Excel.
- The class starts watching a movie at the end of term. The teacher says it will continue when school starts again when the class ends but it never does.
- Friendships are mainly built on which console you have.
- You will always see a football on the roof of a tall building but because of it’s height, it is lost forever.
- Back when the computers still ran on Windows XP, you were considered the Chosen One if you logged into one during class that had a custom background.
- There was also always that one computer monitor that had been there since 2002 while all the other monitors were cheap, flat Dells.
- The computers were also only updated to the next OS every 10 years or so, were always slow, and the chairs seemed to come out of the factory already-broken.
- Every single website was blocked, including Google and the school’s own website.
- The back of the bus housed people from the same street who always played the same music that always started with a loud ringing, like a border-line dog whistle.
- If the bus was late or got stuck in traffic on the way to school, you got the blame.
- Homework overtime shortened to being one piece from one class a week. That was still too much work.
- You felt like a midget in Year 7 because of how tall the Year 10s and 11s were. You or your best mate’s older brother tended to be one of the giants but you hardly got to see them until after school.
- The bunsen burners in physics class looked unsafe as bits of the rubber tubing were torn off due to 50 years of wear and tear.
- You were promised that you’d be able to do whatever you wanted in art class but end up doing only what the teacher told you to do, which was usually stealing a dead man’s art style (still).
- There were rumours going around of two of the teachers dating but despite all the evidence, you never believed it.
- The worst teacher was usually the one to go on maternity leave and you felt sorry for the still unborn baby.
- 5 years since primary school, you’re now 15-16, and getting your shirt signed by your friends and the teachers was still fun to do. Unfortunately though, unlike primary school, you don’t have the day off classes so you have less time.
- Everyone got recognised for their hard work (even if they didn’t do much) except you.
- Every desk has 20 year old gum stuck on the underside while the top either had a swastika or a stickman on it. This was more noticeable in science or tech because of the different types of wood used.
- Your desk sometimes had that odd foul odour on it and you couldn’t explain why. It was there for weeks and it is only after you leave school that you start to have concerns about where that smell came from...
- Your bus used to be a brand-named one but one year randomly changed to just... a bus.
- You only learned 3 Shakespeare plays throughout your entire time there and was jealous of the other class because they got Macbeth and that seemed 10x more interesting than The Tempest.
- Your school obviously seemed to suck up to John Steinbeck, seeing as how you had to learn the same book for 3/4 of the year, one of the English teachers even making an audio-book for it, which you were forced to listen to. (I still get minor PTSD from hearing “George”...)
- Reading WWI poems were the only time you ever needed to know Latin. Learning about these poems turned the English classes into extra history.
- Watching Titanic in history class was a treat to everyone because of that one drawing scene.
How Grades Work
me: has a ‘B’ and does well on a test grades: STAYS 1% AWAY FROM AN ‘A’ UNTIL THE END OF THE QUARTER NO MATTER HOW MUCH WORK I DO