#schoolzardous

[schazardous]

Let’s practice relative pronouns, with Those Two Gals

N-san is a woman who is a crazy girl and is annoying and isn’t good at cleaning but is good at cooking.

O-san is a woman who has a soft chin like an Umeboshi, and is good at using moisturizer and has a flat head. But boyfriends she has a beautiful smile

[schazardous]

There’s two girls who sit at the back of one class who write about each other at every opportunity in my English lessons......

One of them has committed the word “annoying” to memory after I offered it as a translation for “うざい”. BFFOTY right there

[schazardous]

I told some of my kids that the movie they know as <Uncle Carl’s Flying House> is called “Up” in English and they didn’t believe me

When I showed them movie posters to prove it they lost their shit

[schazardous]

I think chimera are the best animal. Because, chimera has the head of a lion and a Goat's body, venomous tail. Chimera can vomit fire. But, it is a fictitious animal. That is OK because if they were real humans would die.

Extension English, “which animal is the best?”

[schazardous]

On a school outing to the local sports park, sitting on top of a climbing frame with some students. Another student climbs up to join us and she exclaims, "wow, the people look like bits of trash from way up here." Her friend: "isn't it usually 'ants'?" With conviction: "trash."

[schazardous]

Conversation demonstrations

Second year students, getting to know someone: Our script starts with both students saying “nice to meet you”, then one person asks a bunch of questions to get to know someone and the other answers.

All pairs argued over who got the easy job of reading questions off the board and who got lumped with having to creatively use English. Most of them figured out their roles before they started, but then we got these two:

A: Nice to meet you. B: Nice to meet you. A: How are you? B: How are you? A: How are you? B: How are you?

The JTE intervenes at this point, they paper scissors rock it out.

A: Nice to meet you. B: Nice to meet you. A: How are you? B, with a deadpan expression: I’m angry.

[schazardous]

A student handed me back a used-up glue stick, struggling to find an English word for it. He went with "tired." Another student in response to "what did you do during spring break" answered "I battled flower powder" which has to be the second-best take I've heard, ever, on suffering from hayfever

[schazardous]

I would travel to the future and cut people's hair.

Student response to "If you had a time machine, what would you do?"