scientistredacted
Her touch is instantly grounding, and Gaster exhales slightly in relief. She’s here, and he’s here. He’s not just watching this through the haze of void, not interacting without actually being here. This is real. He wants very much to hold that hand, but he resists that urge, and fidgets with the end of his scarf to keep his hands busy. Left behind. He didn’t even have to actually say it. She just… knew. She has a remarkable way of figuring out how he feels before he could even begin to articulate it. ❝THE LACK OF CLOSURE IN MY LIFE,❞ he mutters bitterly, ❝DIDN’T EXACTLY START WITH THE VOID. THERE’S SO MUCH I’LL NEVER REALLY KNOW ABOUT FROM THE WAR…❞ Then again, did he ever move on past the war? While he managed to recontextualize Alex’s status as a mage to his feelings (he DID know kind mages in the past too; Asgore’s friend and…), and has managed to keep anxiety at work over being surrounded by so many humans to a minimum … has he ever left that tense, frightened mindset it instilled in him? Did he ever stop grieving what was? ❝I DON’T THINK I’M VERY GOOD AT LETTING GO.❞ The hug is a surprise, but one that he returns gratefully and immediately. He tries not to show his disappointment as she quickly pulls back, remarking on how tired he must be. ❝I DON’T KNOW THAT I SLEPT MORE THAN AN HOUR BEFORE…❞ he trails off, ❝I’M NOT REALLY FEELING IT YET THOUGH…GONE MUCH LONGER WITHOUT ANY…❞ He’s not even trying to make excuses this time. He’s still reorienting himself with feeling like this is real, and he’s all too used to being sleep deprived. So whilst he objectively knows he’s in dire need of some rest, it’s not registering for the way he feels. More than rest, more than something to eat, Gaster just wants to hold onto Alex and not let her go until every trace of the way the void makes him feel is gone. He follows her inside, nervously fiddling with his scarf again. ❝I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE JUST WOKEN YOU UP AFTER ALL,❞ he says attempting some levity, but a slight tremble to his voice gives his remaining… whatever this feeling is away, ❝IT WAS A VOID NIGHTMARE; I HADN’T WANTED TO DISTURB YOU, SO I WENT ON A WALK INSTEAD…❞
The returned hug prompted a soft sigh, relief flooding her that she hadn't further upset her friend with the unexpected touch. Then again, with the way he seemed to cling back almost immediately, perhaps it had been more welcomed than she'd feared?
That thought in mind, she offered her hand to Gaster, giving him another concerned frown.
“You haven't talked a lot about the war,” She observed quietly. “Outside of the fact that you were in it, and the fact that you have trauma regarding human mages because of it. Well, and also what happened prior to the war actually breaking out.” Mistral's death, in other words, though she was trying to put it more delicately.
Shaking her head, she glanced side-long at Gaster even as she gently guided him up the porch steps and towards the house. “I always assumed it had to have been pretty traumatic for you, so I didn't want to pry. I'm… I'm sorry that you were forced to endure that kind of thing, though. You didn't deserve it, I'm sure. None of you who lived through it did.”
How could they have, given the Monsters' reputation as being made of love, hope, and compassion?
Sighing, Alex guided Gaster to the living room, instead of dragging him up the stairs like she normally would have. “I know you say you don't feel like sleeping, but you should at least let yourself rest for a bit. I don't want to see you wear yourself out again.“
Her expression softened at Gaster's joke, and on impulse she reached out for another hug. “In that case,” she said even through the embrace, “you officially have my permission to come in and wake me in the future, should you have another nightmare, void or otherwise,” She assured him, giving him a small squeeze. “I promise not to get upset with you if you do. I'd rather be woken up so I can help, than for you to have to suffer alone.”
Caught by the earnestness of her own words, Alex cleared her throat, ignoring the heat rising to her face as she pulled back again. “Is… there anything I can do to help right now, at least?” she asked, hoping to help Gaster get more settled so that getting food and rest hopefully didn't seem so daunting a task.








