Discover Top Posts Tagged with #scoreoneforme

Married Life

Willow the Yorkie Dog: *growling cutely from behind the couch*

Husband: What is she doing?

Me: Having a disagreement either with the couch or her stuffed monkey.

Husband: Huh?

Me: She could be mediating. It could be a disagreement between the couch and the monkey. Who knows. Stop asking me all these questions.

Married Life

Me: *eyes closed*

Husband: *whispers* I love yooouuuu

Me: *nothing*

Husband: *a little louder* I love yooouuu

Me: Oh, yes, sorry, I forgot my cue. *batting eyelashes* I love you *smiles cutely*

Married Life

Husband: *makes chicken clucking noises as he is being told to make son’s lunch tomorrow*

Me: Don’t cluck at me. I distinctly remember there being a ‘No Clucking’ clause in our marriage vows.

Married Life

Me: Here *hands over plastic baggie with ‘mildly’ squished cookie inside*. This is for you.

Husband: What is it?

Me: Squished cookie.

Husband: Where did you get it? *looks skeptical*

Me: I don’t know, the middle of the road somewhere. *deadpans*

Married Life

Husband: You’re wearing my socks.

Me: They wandered over to my clothing pile which made them fair game.

*references Mara Dyer to friends with out them knowing*

got the boyfriend to make a new tumblr, and he uses it.

Me: I love sherbert Mom: *snarky comment* well sherbert loves your hips Me: Everybody loves my hips

#scoreoneforme