#scotmun2014

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Daily Mail EXCLUSIVE: African Horn vs Al-Shabab Crisis: Red Rover, Red Rover

"Red rover, red rover, send [name of player on opposite team] right over."

Jingxuan, Crisis Coordinator, has recently given an exclusive insight into the crisis to the Daily Mail.

"We've had triple agents and a few defections are being negotiated now."

We then had a follow-up interview with the whole team of Crisis Coordinators:

"Issa Osman Issa (played by Gavin) killed approximately one child per hour."

"2500 died from Marburg outbreaks, the largest Marburg outbreak in history. Also the smallest response from authorities in history. It makes you ooze."

"There were massive riots."

We asked them what happened to the various children's hospitals:

"We killed a couple of them."

Lastly, "how do you feel about the lack of quarantines?"

"It's making me feel positively ill." - Jingxuan

"I'm sick with disgust." - Mandy

"I'm oozing unhappiness." - Pete

"The staff quarantined themselves more than the committees did." - Robbie

"@£$%!U$**$(@((!*£**$"- Aaron

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This article in no way reflects the views of ScotMUN as an organisation, any members of its Secretariat or the author of this article. Any similarities to real world newspapers like the “Daily Mail” are purely unintentional. Thanks for reading.

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The Rocky Road to Al-Maghreb Continues...

African Union- The second session commenced with a serious atmosphere and a number of countries bringing up different matters regarding the current draft resolution to the floor.

This draft resolution was undoubtedly a progressive step forward as it was the most comprehensive one to date and this fact was recognised by multiple delegations in the committee.

However there were a few considerations and concerns regarding certain clauses which were highlighted by the delegates.

The delegations of Tanzania and Niger were concerned with a clause that invited the use of natural resources from African countries. They pointed out that developing African nations would especially need these resources for their own growing economies.

In terms of funding, the draft resolution called for 1 to 2% of each country’s GDP to be donated to the cause. However Mali strongly felt that this was much too large to ask each country and that having such a massive budget would be difficult to handle. Similarly, Ethiopia questioned the methods by which the money would be distributed and cited varying country sizes to be an issue when it came to organising funding for border checks and control.

Djibouti was very open to the idea of bringing BRICS on board to provide funding and to provide assistance to the African Union.

These were a few of the many amendments that faced delegates this morning in the African Union and as the delegate of Tunisia aptly put, “We have come a long way, but there are still questions on what the African Union has done and has to still do to accomplish our goals.”

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Afghanistan Press Release:

Crimea's 1979

Op-ed by Jack Erans, Afghan Ambassador to UNSC

"The Soviet invasion of Afghanistan thirty-five years ago may seem an age away to much of the international community, a long forgotten war that closed the distant era of communism. But today, the same leaders of Moscow have unashamedly initiated an invasion of another free, independent neighbor state, bringing the democratizing nation of Ukraine to the threat of war.

Afghanistan met this same threat in its Soviet uniform in 1979 with a proud, patriotic, and stalwart defense of our homeland, and now wishes the people of Ukraine success in the same. 

Hopefully, this will be a peaceful process, with a show of Ukraine's intent to defend its sovereignty being sufficient. But if Russian troops continue to push into the country, and initiate violent action, proud Ukrainians will react with the moral support of the nation of Afghanistan at their backs."

Source: http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Observer/Columnist/Columnists/2011/3/8/1299585723745/soviets-007.jpg

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Official Chinese Press Statement

Security Council: The Chinese Government issued the following press statement in response to France’s suggestion of an intervention to Russia’s military action in the Ukraine region of Crimea: “Adding more troops will not solve the problem and goes against state sovereignty” 

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Responses to the Breaking News: Russian troops mobilized near the Ukrainian border in the Crimea

"Rwanda has expelled the Russian ambassador for the actions in the Ukraine."

Furthermore, "The Arab League condemns the aggressive attitude of Russia."- Jordan and Iraq

It is not unknown that Afghanistan has also deeply condemned Russia's actions. Afghanistan hopes that Ukraine will “crush the Russian Federation and kill the invaders.”

China hopes that the delegates will come to a peaceful conclusion. Meanwhile, Rwanda believes that this crisis could “lead to World War Three.” 

How does Russia defend itself? "The Russian Federation has a right to protect its citizens in the Ukraine.” They were “called on” by Russians living in the Crimea.

Perhaps Russia has forgotten that they persuaded Russians to move to the Ukraine to gain a stronger foothold in the Ukraine? Historically there are tensions that run deep between Ukraine and Russia.

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Further updates to come soon.

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Washington Post:

BREAKING NEWS-

The US has withdrawn from G8 in Sochi. The US congress will be voting on sanctions against Russia soon. 

The Washington Post is worried that this alarming news can lead to a new Cold War. Tensions rise and delegations are getting bolder with their threats and voices.  

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I hate people.

-Pragya, Secretariat

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I want to become a diplomat in the UN. I’m from Greece, but I could represent any country. I would love to also work in the EU.

-Bill, Greece