This is my buddy Kyle who is my friend from college.
Picture 1: Kyle
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Containment Procedures:
You can't contain him, he is always out there doing wild shit.
Picture 2: Photo Kyle Posted of Him Balancing a Banana on His Head at Last Week's BBQ Which Made Us All Laugh I Was There
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Incident Report 1:
Kyle Anomalously remembered my birthday and said happy birthday to me and gifted me a game on steam that I never heard of but ended up really really liking.
Picture 3: The Game Kyle Gifted Me on Steam. It Is Like Mario With Roguelike Elements.
WARNING!! LONG POST!! Somebody already made an SCP Entry for The Professor on Ao3, but hey, I wanted to do my own! So! Without further ado, by request of @moth-yknowtheartist, my own version/interpretation:
(click on then zoom out and in from the top of each image to read in full) (ALSO NOTE THAT IT DIDN'T CROP THAT WELL AT ALL BUT THE PART MISSING BASICALLY JUST SAYS "Professor got mad and said the Genie made his life a living hell")
Scp-7380 is a small LEGO minifigure, self-identified as 'Rex Dangervest.' Although confirmed to be made of plastic, SCP-7380 is able to move and speak of its own ability. SCP-7380 also claims ownership of a large, fist-shaped LEGO Spaceship (SCP-7380-2). When SCP-7380 enters SCP-7380-2 to pilot it, SCP-7380-2 can fly around on its own, apparently as piloted.
SCP-7380 apparently was purchased as a LEGO "The Rexcelsior" set in the town of [DATA EXPUNGED] in 20xx, and was reported not to exhibit any anomalous properties within the first week of being built. SCP-7380 was reported to have begun moving without being touched sometime after that first week. When discovered by the foundation, SCP-7380 was originally assumed to have been a missing part of SCP-387, and an attempt to reunite SCP-7380 with SCP-387 was made.
When a community of SCP-387 attempted to welcome SCP-7380, it reacted violently, lashing out at the legomen, yelling furiously about 'refusing to be brainwashed.' After injuring some of the legomen attempting to restrain it, SCP-7380 locked itself in SCP-7380-2 and refused to exit.
Conclusion: SCP-7380 is still possibly a part of SCP-387, but further attempts to unite the two are ill-advised, for the safety of SCP-387.
SCP-7380 is to be contained in a storage unit in Site 19. No further security is required, as any weapons used by SCP-7380 or fired from SCP-7380-2 are composed of LEGO pieces and cannot be used to escape.
Although SCP-7380 has successfully breached containment multiple times due to its small size and intelligence, it is easy to retrieve, as it cannot open doors on its own due to its size, and attempting to use SCP-7380-2 makes it too conspicuous.
SCP-7380-2 has the properties of a self-contained mini-universe. SCP-7380 requested a cat LEGO piece, and when granted, took the inanimate cat piece into SCP-7380-2. A few hours later, SCP-7380 requested a replica of a can of cat food. When questioned again, SCP-7380 seemed irritated, reported to have stated, "For my new cat, duh."
When given a LEGO camera and computer, and instructed to video call with researchers from inside SCP-7380-2, SCP-7380 complied, reportedly amused that researchers had taken such an interest in it. When on camera from within SCP-7380-2, SCP-7380 no longer appeared to be a LEGO minifigure, but a human being of flesh and blood. It was happy to show the cat as well while inside the ship, and the feline also appeared to be a living, breathing creature.
Whenever in a call with researchers from inside the ship, this supposed illusion remains. Once outside SCP-7380-2, SCP-7380 once again appears to be a LEGO minifigure, though retains limited animation. The same goes for any objects brought onto SCP-7380-2, returning to plastic once outside the bounds of the ship. Unlike SCP-7380, however, no other objects retain life or animation once removed from the ship.
The illusion is also shattered if any part of SCP-7380-2 is removed to show the interior, with the call immediately being dropped as the camera returns to plastic. Opening SCP-7380-2 in this manner shows everything inside to just be objecrs. SCP-7380 reacts angrily if this is done however, and will attempt to attack any 'intruders,' though the LEGO weapons it weilds to not do any damage to humans.
Document-7380-EXP: Interview
Interviewer: Are you aware that you are a toy?
SCP-7380: Well, yeah. Kinda hard not to be when you researchers are poking and prodding and studying me like this.
Interviewer: How are you alive? Do you control the illusion of being flesh and blood?
SCP-7380: I don't know how I'm alive, honestly. Probably 'the magic of a child's imagination' or some shit. And no, I don't make the illusion, it's just how it is.
Interviewer: Are you familiar with SCP-387? Is that where you're from?
SCP-7380: That weird LEGO city you guys have here?? FUCK no!! Never seen those things in my life and I don't want to ever again, thanks!!
Interviewer: Are you alone, then?
SCP-7380: Well... I did have one companion, Emmet. He left a while ago though. Why, have you guys found him? I really want to see him again.
Interviewer: No, we don't have any other living minifigures aside from those within SCP-387.
SCP-7380 is reported to have looked sad at this information. SCP-7380-A now believed to exist and must be located and contained.
Entry #575: The Snake God of Mercy
Rating: Safe; only stays in its cave hidden deep in the Antarctic.
Instructions: Provide regular animals for it to take care of; it will need them regularly, as it does not know how to actually keep something else alive.
Bio: A strange human/snake/bird hybrid creature, this entity stands at at most ten feet tall, radiating warmth in its freezing Antarctic habitat. Despite its intimidating appearance, this entity is rather friendly, eager to assist whatever life comes passing by. Researchers were able to hold a coherent conversation with it, but the entity always seemed more interested in them than itself. When asked its name, the entity only replies, ‘I am the small god of Mercy.” Sadly, this entity does not seem to actually know how to take care of other creatures, though it certainly wouldn’t let you know that fact.
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I accidentally turned this into more of an SCP than I originally intended, whoops. Still came out interestingly!
Addendum: When questioned about American actor Chris Pratt, SCP-7380 went silent, then walked away from the camera and entered a despondent state, refusing to answer any further questions until researchers terminated the call. Its only response was reportedly to have muttered 'f*ck the guy' softly to itself when the question was repeated.
Details: SCP 7380 was given a small bin of ordinary classic LEGO bricks bought from a non-anomalous toy store, and then left to its own devices.
Results: SCP-7380 proceeded to pull out all of the blue and green pieces and, in impressive time (considering SCP-7380's size), constructed a dinosaur over five times its height. SCP-7380 sat and watched the dinosaur creation for about three minutes, then gave a furious cry and appeared to punch the leg of the dinosaur construction. Instantly the entire construction fell to pieces, as if they were never connected in the first place. SCP-7380 then retreated into SCP-7380-2 and refused to respond to any further communication for the rest of the day. The bin was removed once determined to still be non-anomalous.
Document-7380-EXP: Interview
Interviewer: Do things you construct usually animate in a similar fashion to SCP-7380-2?
SCP-7380: What, my ship? I mean, where I'm from, they did, yeah.
Interviewer: Implying the house we removed you from?
SCP-7380: No, not that house, uh... I mean I know that I came from some random chick's house but I have memories from before that. They're probably part of my programming or whatever.
Interviewer: Implying you are a robot of some kind?
SCP-7380: What? No, I mean... You ever seen Toy Story? How Buzz has memories of things that never really happened to him? It's like that.
Interviewer: I see. So you have memories of a place where your constructions animated despite never having been there yourself. May I ask, why a dinosaur?
SCP-7380: ... More memories.
SCP-7380 then seemed to retreat into its mind and responded to no further questions.
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the unpredictable nature of SCP-4536′s manifestation times, SCP-4536 is considered to be uncontainable; however, most cases appear to take place either during a disaster of a large scale, or just moments before said disaster occurs. Such disasters include, natural disasters such as, Hurricanes, Earthquakes, Tornadoes and wild fires, to other devastating events such as Mass Shootings, construction accidents, traffic accidents, and any other terrorist event that results in massive casualties. Massive population centers are to be monitored closely in the event of an SCP-4536 manifestation; if an instance of SCP-4536 is detected within the vicinity, all civilians are to be evacuated immediately.
AC-89 satellite reconnaissance system has been designed to detect all instances of SCP-4536 and issue automatic alerts to all earth-based Foundation Sites. the Site Security Director(s) of all earth based Foundation sites has access to this system and should dispatch personnel accordingly if SCP-4427 is detected nearby. If Foundation personnel are out of range of the anomaly and cannot respond within a reasonable time frame, city and state emergency departments are authorized to respond if provided with only the information necessary to maintain security and issue evacuation orders until qualified personnel arrive on-site. After an instance has demanifested, evacuated civilians are to given class B Amnestics and any video footage or photos of SCP-4427 is to be confiscated by Foundation Personnel and destroyed.
Description: SCP-4536 is a series of entities, designated SCP-4536-1, SCP-4536-2 and SCP-4536-3; These entities will manifest whenever a great disaster has occured or is about to occur within areas with larger numbers of people, such as schools, malls, cities and public events. SCP-4536-1is a nine-foot tall humanoid entity garbed in tattered black robes, with disproportionately elongated arms and pale skin. because of the hood it wears, any facial features it has, if any cannot be seen; however, long white hair is visible from within the hood, suggesting that the entity may be female in gender. SCP-4536-1 is typically known to manifest within crowds of large people or appear in the background of photos and video footage with its head bowed and its arms concealed within its long sleeves. SCP-4536-2 is a canine that is approximately 7 feet in height, with black fur and golden eyes with slit pupil irises. This instance is known to manifest about 70 meters west of the disaster zone, on rooftops or other elevated areas, looking down on the civilians caught in the disaster it manifests in. SCP-4536-3 takes the appearance of a gold, ring-like construct roughly around 700 meters in length with no other apparent features. It area of manifestation is approximately 50,000 in the air, directly above the disaster zone.
Approximately one (1) hour after the disaster has passed, all instances of SCP-4536 will demanifest from their respective locations in the exact same moment. If however, any instance of SCP-4536 is viewed between the start of the disaster event and after, those who view them will become an instance known as SCP-4536-A and display destructive anomalous behavior and traits twenty four (24) hours after exposure to SCP-4536. Instances of SCP-4536-A has been known to develop erratic behavior which includes, unprovoked violence, self harm, suicide attempts, unintelligible rambling, preaching about the end times, and displaying actions and behavior commonly found within wild animals, particularly that of the Black Bear.
Other instances of SCP-4536-A will start to develop other abnormal traits ranging in effect from spontaneous combustion, rapid aging until expiration, sudden impalement via multiple blades from inside the body, to having the body of the subject turned inside out, being turned into a mass of water, and small scale manipulation of matter, all resulting in death. Effects developed are never controllable by the individual affected.
SCP-4536 was first discovered on September 3rd, 2005, when news footage recorded Hurricane Katrina making landfall in New Orleans, in which the silhouette of SCP-4536-2 was briefly seen in the distance, on the roof of a small building. The camera man who recorded said footage had met an untimely death via spontaneous combustion upon reviewing the aforementioned footage.
