Writing dark au at 5 am again. Weeeee
“I’m confused,” Mr. LD (Life and death) said. “Are you guys dead or...?”
“We are,” Mr. Lie said.
“Yet we are not.” Mr. Stripes continued. “We are here,”
“Yet we are not.” Mr. Lie said.
“Just answer the question already.” LD sighed. “I need to pay for rent, you know.”
“We just answered your question.” the twins said as if they were one person.
LD rolled his eyes, sick of his brothers’ “stuck between universes” bullcrap. The last time he met someone like this was Klaus. Now he’s dead and his dead body is possessed by some plant. Yet... the twins are a different case. Nobody truly knows how did they got stuck in the middle of everywhere and nowhere, but here they are, now more annoying than ever.
“Have you two heard about the whole ‘collector’ thing?” LD asked them. “I’ve heard Lost mentioning this guy a few times but I never understood.”
“Mr. Collector is one wicked scum.” Stripes said. “Wishing to take revenge on each and every one of us.”
“He was supposed to be one of us, but...” Lie said. “Things didn’t work out as he planned.”
“But that’s all we know.” they said at the same time.
“Collector is a piece of shit and I’ll handle him as well.” a familiar voice came from behind LD.
“Oh, god.” Lie said.
“Brass, stop.” Stripes said.
“You two should shut the fuck up!” Brass yelled at them. “You three were dad’s favorites, and I’ll handle you as well!”
“Last time you tried, you fell off the roof.” LD said. “The one before that, it was raining and you didn’t want your cape to be ruined.”
“Not to mention that Lie and I aren’t really here.” Stripes said.
“So basically, you’re an idiot.” Lie said.
“I’ve killed many.” Brass said. “I killed Redd, I killed Mad...”
Lie couldn’t resist letting out a small laugh. Not the “my evil plan succeeded” laugh, but rather the “Wow, this guy doesn’t know anything” laugh.
“Why the fuck are you laughing?” Brass asked.
“No reason.” Lie said, putting on a smile. “Carry on. You’ve killed them, yes...”
“I could kill you too if I want to.” Brass said.
“Again, we’re not here.” the twins said.
“And you definitely don’t want to fight death.” LD said. “Remember, Brass. I don’t go easy on anyone. Not even my siblings.”
“Is that a fucking threat?” Brass asked.
“It’s a warning.” LD smirked. “Just remember that the faith of poor little Mikey is in our hands.”
“And if you’ll take the wrong steps,” Lie said.
“Or if you’ll try to do something stupid,” Striped continued.
“Then I’ll make sure your son’s pain is finally over.” LD said, tapping Brass’ shoulder as he passed near him, only to disappear into smoke.
“Think wisely, Brass.” Striped said. “We all know you still have some good left in you.”
The twins disappeared, leaving the automaton all by himself.
“One day...” he told to himself. “One day I’ll save him...”
---
The small robot sat on the cold floor of his room at the new church, drawing on a piece of papers with crayons almost bigger than his body. Pesterbot sat beside him, watching over in case of any danger.
“Pesterbot,” Mikey said. “You’re my best friend here, you know that right?”
“Thanks.” Pesterbot said.
“Do you mind if I’ll tell you my secret?” Mikey asked.
“I don’t mind at all.” Pesterbot replied. “Spill.”
Mikey kept smiling, as he stared happily into his friend’s eyes and whispered.
“Don’t tell dad, but I know I won’t be able to see the end of this year.”