#script:jgwi

[xm-iota]

(/starts making airplane noises to get Gayun to eat more but turns to grin at Selin) So ya admit, ya'd marry me if i asked? (/laughs and shakes his head) Come on Selin we both know you're more mommy material than i am. Right Gayun? (/she just blinks at him) Gayun between me and Selin oppa who would be the umma and appa? (/he grins victoriously when she points at him and says appa before waving her spoon around sending food bits flying) see?

Yeah, Kris. I admit it. In the unlikely event you ask me to marry you I’d say yes. {` If his tone were anymore deadpan it’d be six feet underground} We can invite all the Brotherhood except Fie, and Seven can use his terrorist leader authority to marry us, and then we’ll live happily ever after at the base with you as my sugar daddy 'til I leave you for someone hotter and more loaded. {` He turns to Kris with a brow raised in challenge} Oh, so that’s how it is, huh? Hey, Gayun-ah, between me and appa who’s got a stupid face? {` He grins right back when she laugh-screams and points at Kris again}

[xm-iota]

(/he's only half listening to Selin because Gayun has his full attention. she's actually pretty cute while eating even if she's dropped most of the food onto herself. now he knows why he had to make so much. he laughs as the spoonful of food hits his nose. he wipes it off with the back of his hand) of course ya won't be babysitter. ya won't need to, i hear being a mom is a full time job. (/he grins it's a totally lame attempt at getting a reaction out of Selin. he turns to feed her again) nomnom

{` He flops back onto the couch to watch the cartoon since Kris apparently has the feeding thing under control and-- oh, there's a yellow rabbit; Selin rests his chin on his knees and lets himself be slowly hypnotized by the TV, although he does take a second to roll his eyes at the guard's stupid joke} Uh huh. Still not seeing any ring on my hand, Fanny. {` He throws up his ring finger with the intent of a middle finger} And who says I'd be the mom anyway? Just 'cause I wore that skirt for you one time doesn't mean you can't be Mrs. Shin.

[xm-iota]

(/only stops himself from smacking Selin because Gayun turns to look at him once she realizes he has food) Don't be stupid. Hyosung noona would never let me touch her. She was one of those "pretty girls don't date poor guys" types (/moves her so that shes facing him now. grins. hands her a spoon and starts to feed her with another because she'll make a mess if he lets her feed herself) she just helped me out with cash once. sides if she was mine i'd be with her all the time. I actually want kids

{` He grins sarcastically} So basically you're saying she's got standards. {` A blop of food lands on his knee} Aw, c'mon. {` He shifts Gauyn off his lap onto the couch and stands up, side-stepping out of splash radius; he grabs a tissue and starts scrubbing at his pant leg, pausing to snicker as the kid tries to mimic Kris' actions with the spoon, only to miss and shove it into his nose} Yeah, you clearly got this dad thing on lock. FYI, assuming I even live that long, I'm calling "not babysitter" right now.

[xm-iota]

Whatever just hold her (/he relaxes a bit once she stops crying. he rereads through the instruction list his friend left him. really for someone who was so nit-picky with everything that involved her child, Kris figured she would have left her with someone more responsible. he forgot to add the honey. he sighs as he starts hunting for the bottle of honey in the baby's lunch bag) An old friend's. I doubt you've met her, but her name is Hyosung. (/he walks into the room) aight lets feed her

I am holding her, jizz wizard. {` He has to sit down on the couch with Gayun balanced on his lap, because hefting anything weighing more than a foot-long sub is not his style; reaching for the remote with his foot, he scrapes it over until he can pick it up and turn on the TV, channel-surfing as fast as the signal allows until he finds a cartoon with eye-bleedingly bright characters that seems kid-friendly enough; Gayun immediately fixates on it, so whatever} Is that code for “someone I accidentally knocked up”? Is this secretly your kid, Kris? Is that why we got screwed into babysitting???

[xm-iota]

Just hold the kid will ya (/kris calls out to Selin from the kitchen to the other who was actually in the room with the crying child. babysitting is not something the guard and the scout are known for doing but Kris owed someone a favor and so he couldn't say no. now the poor 3 year old had to deal with the worst babysitters ever) I'm almost done with her food, just pick her up, she's not gonna bite!

{` Selin rubs his temples before calling back towards the kitchen} You owe me, like, so many blowjobs for this. {` He's banking on the fact that little Gayun is too busy making puddles on the carpet to retain and thus repeat back any inappropriate language coming out of his mouth, not that it's really his problem if she does; flipping his snapback around, he reaches down and scoops up the child, knees bowing slightly under the added weight} Whose kid is this again?

[xm-iota]

(/he rolls his eyes) please, you threaten to call animal control on /people/, i'm can't take you seriously anymore. (/the capybara is starting to chew on the cushions. good thing they found that on the curb.) ok. ok. but look how cute it is? (/he pets it on the head, and it trills at him and drops down from the couch to smell the rest of the room.) so we can take turns taking it for walks, yeah?

{` He digs around in the fridge for anything passably resembling dinner} Yeah, but animal control can actually take away a giant fuckin’… that. {` His search yields a container of leftover japchae and two slices of pizza; considering they’re both salaried, their living conditions sure do resemble those of third year college students; he closes the door and makes his way to the chair-less ottoman, vodka tucked under his arm} I ain’t walking shit. The fuck did you even get thing up here without the landlord seeing? {` He watches the capybara warily, although he doesn’t pull away when it comes over to sniff at his feet, and then his japchae}

[xm-iota]

(/two weeks ago, soryong was kidding when he told selin he wanted to have a capybara as a pet. two hours ago, he was dead serious as his plane from busan landed, giant hamster safely stored in the cargo. and now, pacing the living room and waiting for selin to come home to their tiny apartment, and slowly realizing how ridiculously huge the animal looked on their couch, he couldn't help but regret his entire life.) surprise, (/he tries, weakly, as the door opens.)

{` For once in his life, Selin is at a loss for words, staring past the dark circles under his eyes at the… thing in his living room; this is the kind of shit he expects from Daeryong; Sol is supposed to be the practical, predictable one, which is why Selin moved in with him instead, despite having been friends with the older twin longer; if he’d known the idiocy ran in the family, he’d have put an ad on Craigslist, sexual solicitations or not} - {` He settles for heading to the kitchenette and grabbing the cherry vodka they were saving for this weekend, taking a straight pull from the bottle before turning to face his housemate} If it gets in my room, I’m fucking calling animal control.