#scrumpy bitches

[scrumpylikesthings]

Am I legally allowed to call myself a horror writer if I haven't written least one fucked up deer?

[scrumpylikesthings]

I’ve been sitting with my feelings on this for a couple of days now and think I wanna talk about it. 

I tried out SudoWrite. I was curious so I just poked around for 10 minutes or so. I put in a paragraph of Meat Cute and had it do a predictive next sentence. Then variations on a sentence. I put in a rough outline of Meat Cute, rough descriptions of David and Micah, and let it run a full outline, full character descriptions, all the way to writing the first chapter. 

It was bad. It was cringey bad. It was so gawd awful bad. 

And yeah it did make me feel a little better about my own writing, but it really bothered me. It hurt. It really upset me. I went in thinking it would be funny haha or maybe even a little helpful, mostly expecting just a waste of time, but damn. I was not expecting that gut punch. 

I can’t quite place it either. Maybe it was seeing my characters get skewed or seeing them written so horribly. Maybe it was looking at this bastardization of my own work. Maybe the cringe was just that cringey.

Maybe it was bigger. Maybe it was looking at a brand new way to pump out swill and drivel for mass production and publication and turning my craft into another consumerist vehicle. Another tool for contrepreneurs to exploit and cut out the underpaid ghost writer entirely. 

Or maybe it was the way it felt like a mathematic formula. It felt exactly how it was: feeding my raw materials into a machine, pulling the lever, and getting the distilled grey cube at the end of the conveyor belt; like a Looney Tunes. That it took the magic out of writing, the romanticism of crafting prose, the feeling of learning and growing and creating and evolving as an artist. It was sterile. Maybe seeing these characters that I’m invested in (probably way too invested in) get turned into these antiseptic cardboard cutouts hurt on an irrational and personal level. 

I had these kind of feelings years ago (before I started writing fic) when I knew I wouldn’t be able to sell the stories I was writing, that I would never make money as a writer, that the stories I was working so hard on weren’t up to snuff with the market. I HATED thinking like that. It hurt to think like that. That while I was creating stories I wanted to be writing, I was still thinking about other people. And this AI bullshit feels exactly like that: making stuff for other people. 

I can see a way it’d be useful for someone; someone who might be stuck in writer’s block or need help with their outline or can’t figure out how to word a sentence. But I have the shower for that. I have long walks and music and friends I can talk things out with. 

I’m still upset and shook and riled about this. I think I’m just going to avoid AI generators and news about them. Just not think about it unless it forces me to.

I recommend avoiding SudoWrite. Its not worth it. 

Anyways, cringe under the cut:

I cannot tell you how much I HAAAAAATE mirror descriptions. . . buzz cut 42 year old. 

I . . . I just. . . 

im dead  Weirdly enough, it got that it takes place in Ohio right. Guess you can take out the art, but you can’t take out the Ohio. 

[scrumpylikesthings]

I still have lingering edits for Meat Cute and Jersey Boys that I need to poke at and love this simple task I’ve plonked on myself 

LOOOOOOVE rewriting from scratch  the best great perfect 10 outta 10  but it needs to happen o|-<

[scrumpylikesthings]

Recently got a (somewhat passive aggressive) comment on Psychopomp about how it's not finished and. . .

Look man I dunno what to tell ya. I want to finish it. I have some of that chapter written. I just. . . don't.

My brain is fixed on my OCs (and smut really only one (1) other person is ever gonna read).

On the plus side, the last chapter is just a breather. All the big dramatic stuff is wrapped up. I should just mark it 10/10 complete, but uuurrggghhhhh

BUT (and this is a big Hermes sized ass of a but) maybe. MAYBE. One day. I'd like to, but don't hold your breath.

[scrumpylikesthings]

The spontaneous research I did while writing tonight include:

what mechanical sirens sounded like in 1905

how moose antlers are attached to the skull and their shedding

BDSM blindfolds

[scrumpylikesthings]

finished fourth edit of Meat Cute o|-<