#sealtalk

[sealinredshoes]

getting to visit the hometown of my grandmother is truly a heartwarming experience because I finally understand where the fairy stories I had in my brain for so long but couldn't find the exact source comes from. My grandmother told them to her son and my father then told them to me AND HE FORGOT. BUT I DIDN'T. I REMEMBERED THOSE MOTHERFUCKING FAIRIES STEALING CHILDREN AND I REMEMBERED THE GREAT HUNTER AND HIS WIND CALVARY AND I WILL MAKE IT EVERYONE'S PROBLEM

[wakingfromthewater]

Alien lifeforms have landed

[wakingfromthewater]

Apparently seals in Aberdeen have learned to climb onto a branch and rest there

Arboreal seals

I AM LOSING! IT!!

ARBOREAL SEALS

[wakingfromthewater]

God I hope my horrible* daughter** is safe and well.

*aggressive, territorial, frequent biter

**symbolically adopted seal in rehabilitation

[wakingfromthewater]

Every day on the internet I'm like "DO NOT get within 300 feet of a seal, they are large predators with teeth designed to rip through scales and bone plus they are precious wild animals who deserve space and respect, also BTW if you're in the US getting too close to a marine mammal is a FEDERAL CRIME 😡" as if I don't go to the aquarium and fantasize about finding the hip height door on the seal tank miraculously left unlocked and just climbing in there with them.

[wakingfromthewater]

I just think it's incredible how humans all around the world looked at seals and said "those are definitely related to us"

[wakingfromthewater]

Me: (sees a seal)

Me: That's a predator 🥰 It evolved to kill 🥰🥰🥰

[wakingfromthewater]

So my fave local Vietnamese restaurant relocated a few months ago and I've been getting takeout from them every couple of weeks because I want them to survive. (I was actually their first customer when they reopened and got featured on their social media).

I came in today and the woman who usually works the counter on Saturdays asked my name twice, and then when she gave me the order she asked if I was usually the person who picks it up.

I said I am, and she gave me a Look for a moment before I realized and said "Yes. I do usually wear the hat."