not freaky (for once…) but i think red evbo has serious self hating problems. i bet he fucking despises parkciv evbo for being the creators favourite, for being the most popular because thats all HE ever wanted to be. i bet he despises pvpciv evbo for being the “chosen one” even if he knows its only in his simulation, thats what red evbo wanted to be his whole life. he just wants to be chosen by the creator.
do you think he made himself unable to have negative emotions, unable to cry or really ever be vulnerable with someone just to make himself more “perfect”. but he still feels everything. he’s not even human, he knows he’s not. he messes around in his own coding, trying to rewrite it and make it more like parkciv evbo’s but he just can’t. it never works, he still feels and acts the same like nothing ever happened.
what if he finally has a breakdown. he’s ruined his code so much he can’t even cry yet he still feels like he is. he feels every emotion ten times more even though he isn’t supposed to feel them at all. what if someone finds him like this, what if one of his EMPLOYEES finds him like this?? they’re going to think so lowly of him. all he wants is to be perfect but he can’t even be okay.
(((((what if seawatt finds him. the person he’s worked with the most, the person he’s known the longest. his favourite actor. evbo is terrified when he sees him walk through the door, even with that mask and uniform he recognizes seawatt instantly. he tries to seem fine, he tries to wipe away the glitched tears from his face but he fails at that too. like he does at everything. seawatt takes his mask off and evbo prepares to be degraded but all he can see on the other’s expression is worry. like seawatt actually cares about him. but surely it’s just pity. he really is pathetic, what is there not to pity? he lets seawatt try to comfort him only for a moment before coming to his senses. he kicks him out of his office before he could see new tears forming in his eyes.)))))
seawatt totally picked the lock and they had yaoi after...
OUHHHHH i love this. so much . it's beautiful