hello! welcome to THE parkour civilization confessions blog!! you can submit basically anything, just don't be weird and do not sexualize the real people behind said characters, respect their boundaries first and foremost, thank you!
this blog doesn't have a set dni since most confessions will likely be anonymous and that means i don't know who's actually sending them. that being said, please no pro / neutral contact. also DSMP fans who support the problematic creators (aka tylercatastrophe adjacent) explode and die i genuinely do not care
although this is a blog mainly dedicated to parkour civilization, feel free to send in thing's about pvp civilization, vault civilization, minecraft simulation, and tabis show!
NSFW: okay, perhaps even encouraged... #Pervert👀
limits explained more HERE ,, these will likely be edited OVER TIME so make sure to check them out !
TAGS: non-civ ask, freaky civ (NSFW tag), ON THE FRIDGE!! (my personal favorites), fic share (for fanfics you send in!), civ arts (for artworks based on previous asks!), voidplay (EXACTLY what it sounds like)
AU TAGS: abo civilization (pkciv / other's in the omegaverse), stage civilization (pkciv but ailen stage), squid civ (pkciv but squid games)
* this blog will have personalized tags onwards from dec 3 2024 !
(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) about me ...
fun fact: the reason why i never went by an actual name for so long was because i was genuinely SO INDECISIVE about it and figured it didn't really matter all too much since we're all having a collective jerk circle over mavbo cannibalism
more people must invest in precanon emf and seawatt dynamics especially in the context of them working together under the champion... for our evil wants ^_^
DROOOOLLLLSSSS yes yes yesss.... emf would definitely stomp on seawatts foot and watch him writhe with a shit eating grin bro
Pvpciv evbo is literally a teenager to me im sorry he is 16 at most and tabi is 16 at least and deffinetly much older than him like at least 2 years but probly more and also his adoptive older sister also i hate straight people im sorry
i personally think he's a young adult but this hc is Cute
EMF is actually a star being. (And is sick because of the astrophage)
Rocky is still there and is even meaner to Evbo than he was to Grace in the book.
Seawatt is a scientist back on earth, or in Stratt’s position.
is this....heaven? FUCK YESSS😭😭😭😭😭 PHM X PKCIV MY TWO MAIN INTERESTS ATM IM TWEAKINGGFF . imagine jumperwho is rocky because she's like an engineer. A Thought.
For the past week I've had an idea spinning around in my head of an au where Parkour Evbo meets Pvpbo and goes "wow shits fucked out there huh" and just starts seeking out other Evbo's to adopt them from shitty universes.... idk if this counts as a confession but it's been stuck in my brain so Yay
pkcivbo and his maternal instincts 🤧🤧 let's be evbo with mama
I cannot for the life of me get a grasp on EMF's character. Maybe it's bc they have a collective total of half a minute of screentime over both movies but like. They're just so hard to characterize. Slippery like an eel or whatever
genuinely they're just so mysterious. little specimen i keep in a jar. we know more about JUMPER than emf. i really hope we get a mini movie or something that tells us who emf is, maybe even their name if we're lucky
The reason I headcanon Evbo the way I do is because I'm straight up just projecting onto his ass. I headcanon him with the same exhaustion issues I have and I give him ADHD not just because of how he acts but also because I have it. I am him he is me
au where pkcivbo makes a deal with the mace on the basis that 'You will not stop me. You kill me, and then what? I reform. I come back. The universe will right this imbalance, and it will do so through me. You'll grow weak, the both of you. Death takes its toll, and then when I come back, what will you do?'
pkcivbo helping pvpbo with the 360 with a weight of dread in his gut, knowing that the plan won't work because of him.
pkcivbo watching back pvpbo's old video journals to find out ways to convince pvpbo either to give up being a martyr or to come to pkciv with him in order to rebalance the universe...
Pvpbo needs whack him on the head with its sword
— 🎬
DUDE YES. pvpbo kills him and fixes everything and pkcivbo just feels like an actual dumbass
Oh actually alpha/alpha Seamf is going to make me scream now that I think about it hold onnnnnnn....... me and Evbo the same in that we both are jorkin it to a/a Seamf
WE yes WE are jerking it to alpha4alpha seamf hatesex (feat. cuck omegabo)
haven't been here in a hot minute... ahh the good old days
anyways
omegaverse au scents
evbo originally didn't smell like anything and assumed he was a beta bc he was so malnourished that his body shut off all "unnecessary" functions like scents and mating cycles to focus on survival, but after allat he smells like key lime pie and lemon zest, plus a hint of freshly baked cookies after becoming parkour god. he seems like a citrusy guy.
seawatt smells STRONGLY like iron but w a gentle overlying scent of milk and honey bc he bathes in it like he's some aristocratic princess or wtv. idk why but he just seems like he'd smell like iron yknow???? also chainmail and blood yadayadayada
emf has a pretty faint scent compared to most alphas but i'd imagine they smell likeee green tea. green tea and wet rocks. idk. just fits em. anyways yeah alpha/alpha seamf hatefucking where they fight n claw at each other to force each other into submission while omega evbo watches bc he's suuuper into alpha on alpha (me too twin)
i haven't even thought abt parkciv in like so long so im not too sure abt these hcs but oh wellll fuck it we ballll
anyways hi and bye
-🪽
the Renaissance is Here. i think evbo originally just smelled like B.O straight up and everyone knew that was 100% NOT his scent 😢😢 like god you're a stinky ass “beta”!! OVERLY FUNKY!!
UGH. alpha emf calls to me like the goblin mask don't even get me started on them. i actually think seawatt would be a VERY aggressive omega and everyone is just Unaware (including emf because i don't think he's that smart) of it... but alpha4alpha is TOO GOOD TO PASS UPPP OMFG 🤧🤧
thinking about the emf and pvpbo ask again...... might write a fic ouhh them...
we feel like pkcivbo would have a scar on his face from the whole explosion thing that happened maybe and that pvpbo would similiarly have a scar from the mace, and that pvpbo would feel conflicted about tthat (he has not a lot of scars curtosy of respawn o7 we thinks)
also emf would bring up birthmarks pkcivbo has lying style to have an excuse for pvpbo to show them more of itself hashtag f in emf stands for freak
OUGH. OUGH. pvp and pkciv evbo having it on opposite sides too... FUCK. and emf why are you the biggest pervert Ever? can he stop doing that he keeps trying to get both of them NAKED!