#second pregnancy

[properplace]

Progress // 1st Trimester

[katieo1022]

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[lyn31]

Hi Hi! I love your writing so much!! Could I request Zayne&mc and their second pregnancy. Sorry if I got the age gaps wrong but it seems like mc gets pregnant shortly after “Seed Baby”. I’d love to see Rose’s smug reaction to the so called “careful couple” and then later when mc & Zayne discover it’s twins mc is convinced Rose cursed her.

Eyyy, I’m glad someone picked up on that! Ahahaha—because the twins definitely weren’t a planned pregnancy 😂 I actually had it planned out (another reason I gave that little nudge with the last bit in “Seed-baby”). I was going to write the smut for it too, but that can wait! It doesn’t happen right away from Seed-Baby, but the next year technically!

And this is helping me—I’m not procrastinating! Yay! Let me know what you think! 👀💕

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Little Surprises

Summary

A heartfelt and humorous story about a couple's unexpected surprise pregnancy, turning their lives upside down as they navigate the joys and challenges of this new chapter and the thought of adding new family member.

Ao3 link

My Masterlist ✨

Notes

Pairing: Zayne x MC/Reader Family fluff, pregnancy surprise, banter, silly, sweet, emotional!

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The mission’s long over, but you’re still at the base, running end-of-day reports while Tara complains about paperwork, Rose pokes at the vending machine, and Lara’s being overly generous with ginger tea distribution.

She walks up to your desk just as your stomach turns for the third time that today.

You blink at her, glance down at the steaming mug she sets near your elbow, and then everything lurches. You’re out of your seat in a heartbeat, bolting toward the office bathroom.

You barely make it in time.

Your knees hit the tile as you grip the sides of the toilet, gagging. It’s awful. And loud. You hear the door creak open behind you—soft steps.

A familiar hand gathers your hair.

Rose.

She doesn’t say anything at first, just holds your hair and rubs a slow, grounding line between your shoulder blades.

“You’ve been off for a while,” she murmurs. “You should probably get it checked.”

“I’m fine,” you croak, flushing the toilet and leaning back against the wall, eyes shut. “Probably something I caught on the trip.”

Footsteps creak in the hallway. Lara’s voice floats in. “Even if it’s just the flu, better safe than sorry.”

You don’t even lift your head. “Not you too.”

Tara leans in against the door frame, sipping from a coffee can. “You know your husband’s gonna check you anyway, right? If he see you, it’s over.”

You sigh, dragging your hand down your face.

Rose offers her hand and helps you up. You rinse your mouth, wash your hands, wipe the sweat off your forehead.

Then she says it, too casually.

“Speaking of the trip… are you sure you caught something from there and not brought something back instead?”

You blink. “Isn’t that the same thing?”

She just raises an eyebrow, glancing from your eyes to your stomach and back again.

You frown. “What—”

Your voice cuts off as your own eyes widen.

Tara’s the one who gasps. “Oh my god. Are you pregnant?!”

“What?! No! I’m on pills!”

Rose’s tone is maddeningly calm. “It’s not a hundred percent, sis.”

“And wasn’t the trip for your ten-year wedding anniversary?” Lara adds, too amused. “I doubt you two were holding back.”

You rub your forehead. “This is not happening. We weren’t planning to try again for another four years.”

There’s a beat of silence. Then Rose, gentle this time. “You don’t want them?”

“Of course I do!” you snap, too quickly. You exhale hard. “It’s just… not the plan. And besides, I’m not pregnant. You’re all being ridiculous.”

Rose hums, unfazed. “One way to find out.”

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your pulse and get your replu ready, when Tara suddenly claps her hands.

“Right! Stay put. I’ll be back in fifteen.”

You turn. “Tara—don’t you dare—” call after her, but she’s already halfway out the door, yelling something about a convenience store and how she’s buying the good brand.

You slump into Rose’s side as Lara hands you tissues and a water bottle like a war medic. “This is excessive,” you mutter.

“No,” Rose says dryly. “This is justice.”

Twenty minutes later, Tara returns triumphant—waving a plastic bag overhead like she just came back from a holy quest.

“Okay,” she says, dropping it on the desk. “We’ve got options. Pink box, digital one, and the one with the stupid little lines no one can ever read properly. You’re doing all three.”

“Why?” you deadpan.

“Because if I have to watch you puke your soul out, I deserve to confirm if you’re creating life.”

“I’m not!”

“You might be!”

With an exaggerated grumble, you snatch the bag from her and march back to the bathroom. You hear Lara mutter something like, “She’s definitely pregnant,” and Rose whisper, “I can already hear the existential spiral.”

You do the tests.

You sit on the closed toilet lid, arms crossed, eyes locked on the trio of plastic sticks lined up on the sink like tiny instruments of destiny.

Five minutes.

You glance once. Blink.

You lean in.

All three. Positive.

You stare at them in stunned silence.

Then you start laughing.

Loud. Unfiltered. A little hysterical.

The kind of laugh that bubbles up from deep in your chest—raw and unguarded. You laugh so hard it aches—until it doesn’t. Until it’s something else.

The sound fades, leaving only silence. Heavy. Humming.

You wipe at your eyes, not realizing they were wet.

And then you look at the tests again.

Three positive lines. Clear as day. No ambiguity. No denial.

You go still.

Like your whole body’s trying to catch up to the truth.

Your hand moves to your stomach, instinctive. There's no bump, no flutter, not yet—but the memory of that weight, of that fullness, is still in your bones. You remember.

You know.

Your chest tightens, not with panic, but with the kind of ache that carries echoes. Of swollen ankles and early mornings. Of doctor visits and sleepless nights. Of being stubborn, pushing through deadlines you didn’t need to meet, convincing yourself you could juggle everything without slowing down.

And then the first kick. The first cry. The way it all changed after.

You sink a little into the toilet lid, a breath leaving your lips in a slow exhale. Two years back at work. You’d just started to feel like yourself again—or at least, the version of yourself that knows how to juggle everything. But this time... this time, the thought of pausing doesn’t make your skin crawl. It doesn’t feel like a threat to your identity. It feels… almost like a relief.

You tilt your head back against the wall, eyes fluttering shut. Your fingers stay on your stomach, loose and still. You don’t know what’s coming. You’re still scared. That won’t change. But the fear doesn’t drown you this time. It doesn’t win.

A quiet smile tugs at your lips.

“Okay,” you murmur, just to yourself. “We’ll do it different this time.”

You open your eyes, a little watery, a little dazed—but certain.

And for the first time in minutes, maybe longer, you breathe in fully.

Deep and steady.

Because this time… you’re not afraid to slow down. Not afraid to rest.

The door swings open a second later—Rose, of course, but this time her brow furrowed in worry, probably from whatever she heard outside the stall. “Are you okay?”

You turn the sticks toward her like you’re displaying cursed evidence, but you can help the curve on your lips. “All three.”

Tara lets out a whoop from behind her. “Knew it! Knew it!”

Lara peeks in with a grin. “Guess your body's not great at waiting four years.”

You shake your head slowly, dazed and still grinning. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Rose nudges your knee with hers. “Do you want it to?”

You look at her, really look, then down at the three test results.

A wave washes over you—warm, slow, terrifyingly tender.

Your hand moves to your stomach, resting like it’s already real.

“…Yeah,” you murmur. “I think I do.”

Then louder. “I mean, I was hoping for more eventually. I just didn’t think eventually meant now.”

Lara smiles. “Well, the universe disagrees.”

“And so does your uterus,” Tara adds helpfully.

You throw a wad of toilet paper at her. She dodges it with a cheer. “So! How’re you telling Zayne?”

You blink. “I’m just gonna tell him?”

Rose snorts. “After what happened the first time, he might actually tie you to the bed.”

Without missing a beat, you shoot back. “He doesn’t need a reason to do that.”

Three overlapping “ew”s hit your ears. You roll your eyes.

“Oh, come on. We’re all married—don’t be dramatic. It’s not like Rose doesn’t overshare about her married life.”

“Yeah, but we’re used to Rose doing it. Not you too!” Tara protests.

Rose just rolls her eyes.

“Right. The hormones are definitely kicking in already,” she says, crossing her arms.

Lara leans in, more serious now. “But seriously. This time, you need to slow down.”

“I already plan to take a break, chill!”

That shuts them up.

You look at all three of them, confused by their silence—and then Tara gasps.

“Holy shit. It’s the miracle of parenthood. She actually wants to take a break from work!”

“I never thought I’d see the day,” Rose sighs, wiping away imaginary tears.

“Truly historic,” Lara adds, miming the same.

You roll your eyes. You’re too tired to argue. But then Rose nudges you again, and the glint in her eye tells you exactly what she’s about to say.

“Don’t you—”

“What did I say before?”

You groan and chuck a different roll of toilet paper at her.

“Please don’t destroy company property,” Lara says calmly, like this is just another Tuesday.

“Hey, what did I do? I’m not the one who bragged about being the ‘careful’ one,” Rose says, dodging the toilet paper.

“You jinxed us!”

“Nah, I predicted it. Honestly, I was more surprised when you two planned Serena and actually succeeded.”

“Hey!”

“Actually, same here,” Tara chimes in.

“Hey!!”

“To be fair,” Lara says, deadpan, “I thought you’d have kids right after the wedding.”

“Oh, screw you guys!”

You end up throwing every toilet paper roll at them. They shriek, dodge, and laugh—but so do you.

Three tests in one hand.

Your squad by your side.

And a quiet, undeniable bloom of disbelief turning into joy.

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It’s late afternoon when you arrive at Serena’s preschool. The moment the door opens, a wave of tiny voices bursts out.

“Bye, Serena!”

“See you tomorrow, Serenaaa!”

“Bring your cool star stickers tomorrow!”

She walks out slowly, her soft footsteps nearly lost in the chorus of chaos. One hand waves delicately, her expression calm despite the flurry of goodbye shouts. You swear her classmates treat her like the lead of a drama troupe heading off-stage.

You take her hand and squeeze. “Popular as always, huh?”

She glances up at you with a small smile, holding her snow rabbit in her other arm. “They talk a lot, but they nice.”

You laugh. “Yeah, they really do.”

As you walk down the sidewalk together, you give her hand another gentle squeeze. “Hey… remember when you and your cousins asked Daddy about where babies come from?”

Serena nods, expression thoughtful. “Willow’s still drawing baby trees.”

You chuckle. “Of course she is. But you… you understood it really well.”

She hums quietly.

“So…” you say lightly, “what would you think if we planted another baby seed sometime? Like… if you had a little sibling?”

She doesn’t answer right away. She frowns at the sky like she’s waiting for a cartoon idea bubble to pop up. Then she looks at you, asking, "In Mummy's belly?"

You stifle a laugh. “Yes. In my belly.”

“Hmm,” She hugs her little stuffed rabbit to her chest. “It might hurt you. But it’s very worth it.”

Your breath catches for a second. That was almost word-for-word what Zayne told her once, when she asked if it hurts. You remember the way he said it so gently. “Sometimes, yes. But the doctor and everyone around the mom help take care of her, so she’s not alone. And when the baby finally arrives, it’s… very worth it.”

You don’t say anything else about the baby for the rest of the way home. You just smile to yourself, asking how her day was, listening to her quiet little ramblings, and remembering all over again that yes, this will definitely be worth it.

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Dinner is done, the dishes are stacked, Serena’s belly is full, and your feet are finally up. Zayne’s just finished showering, fresh in a hoodie and sweatpants, hair still damp, trailing a faint scent of eucalyptus soap.

Serena is curled up on the rug with a picture book in her lap, giving each character a wildly different voice. You’re half-watching the TV, half-dozing, one arm slung lazily over the backrest.

Zayne sinks down next to you with a quiet sigh. He stretches his legs out, then turns to look at you properly. Not just glance—look.

“You okay?” he asks.

You blink at him, surprised by the softness in his voice. “Yeah. Just tired.”

His brow furrows slightly. “You’ve been quiet today.”

Before you can respond—before you can even begin to find the words—Serena pipes up from the floor, completely unbothered, completely unprompted.

“Mummy wants to plant seeds in her belly.”

You blink. Zayne blinks.

There’s a beat of pure silence.

Zayne turns to you, confused but processing fast. “I thought… we were going to wait?”

You lift a hand, half shrugging, half suppressing a laugh. “Apparently, the decision was made for us.”

His eyes widen slightly.

“Wait. Are you—? Now?”

You nod.

“Probably from our anniversary trip,” you say, a mischievous grin tugging at your lips. “Y’know. That romantic getaway where someone kept insisting on no distractions. I was on pills. Apparently that’s not enough.”

Zayne just stares at you.

For a second, there’s no calculation. No analysis. Just silence.

Then—the faintest breath escapes him. His eyes soften. And then the smallest smile curves at the corner of his lips—not the usual amused one, not the teasing kind. It’s quieter. A little stunned. A little awed.

“...Another—?”

You nod again.

He exhales, almost a laugh but gentler, and reaches for your hand. Like he needs to touch you just to make it real. His thumb brushes against your fingers, reverent, like you might disappear.

And then you see it. The math kicking in.

Anniversary trip. No distractions. No interruptions. No protection.

He blinks. “That... does make sense.”

You snort. “Took you a second.”

He rakes a hand through his hair. “I’m a doctor, not a psychic.”

You both laugh softly, and then his hand finds yours, fingers lacing with warm certainty.

“Are you okay with this?” he asks again, quieter this time.

You squeeze his hand. “Still a little shocked. But… yeah. I’m good.”

He leans in, presses a kiss to your temple. “Then I’m good too.”

“This time I’m going to take a break right away.”

You didn’t expect that to make him react, but you can practically see his eyes shining—watery, actually—so you lean in and kiss the corner of his eye, your thumb brushing lightly under the other.

“Don’t cry on me, dear.”

“You said I’m allowed to cry if I feel like it,” he murmurs, his voice suspiciously thick. He pulls you in closer, holding you tighter. And apparently, you taking care of yourself is included in that category.

You laugh softly and tuck your head against his chest. You can feel it—his heartbeat, steady and warm, his arms tightening just enough around you like he doesn’t want to let go. Like the future has started to take shape already, quietly wrapping itself around the two of you.

You raise a brow. “How couldn’t I? Even if I didn’t, my husband would do it for me anyway.”

He huffs a quiet laugh, nose brushing against yours. “Good. It only took ten years for you to surrender.”

“Mm. I’m in a good mood today, so I’ll let you have that.”

There’s a beat of soft silence. Your cheek rests against his, his hand over your belly even though there’s nothing to feel yet. Just the idea of it. The weightless beginning.

And then—

Serena flips her book shut with a dramatic thwack and scrambles onto the couch, wedging herself between you like she’s been summoned by the gods of mischief.

“Can I name the baby?” she asks brightly, eyes shining the same way as Zayne’s.

Zayne blinks. “Absolutely not.”

“Yes,” you say at the same time.

He sighs. “We're doomed.”

You smile into his shoulder, heart full.

Not exactly the plan.

But exactly right.

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Bonus

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The room is dim and cool, the hum of the monitor the only sound for a moment as the ultrasound tech moves the wand across your belly.

Zayne’s holding your hand, thumb brushing absent-mindedly over your knuckles. You’re focused on the screen, trying to make sense of the blur of black-and-white shapes when the tech tilts her head slightly, eyes narrowing.

“Hm.”

Your heart stutters. “Hm what?”

She smiles, calm. “I’m just adjusting the view... ah, there we go.”

She taps the screen.

“You see this? That’s the baby.”

You nod slowly, relief softening your breath.

Then she shifts the wand slightly. “And that… is baby number two.”

Your brain blanks.

Zayne blinks. “I’m sorry. Two?”

The doctor grins. “Congratulations. You’re having twins.”

There's a beat. Then Zayne turns to you, slow, like the movement is physically difficult.

You’re already staring straight ahead, mouth slightly open. “Rose cursed us.”

He lets out a stunned, breathless laugh. “Blessed,” he corrects automatically, dazed.

You turn to him with a look. “Yes… bless,” you echo flatly.

The doctor tries not to laugh, adjusting the image again. “They’re both looking healthy. Strong heartbeats. Congrats again, Mom and Dad.”

Zayne leans forward slightly, eyes locked on the screen now. You feel his hand squeeze yours tighter, but it’s not panic—just awe.

“…Two of them,” he murmurs.

“Double everything,” you whisper. “Double diapers. Double crying.”

He’s already smiling now. “Double the love.”

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too.

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Serena is lying on her stomach, coloring a lopsided rainbow on the living room floor. You and Zayne sit across from her, your phone ready with a grainy printout from the scan.

“Okay, sweetie,” you start carefully. “Remember how we said Mummy has a seed growing in her belly?”

She nods seriously. “It’s gonna be a baby. I know.”

“Well…” Zayne says, nudging the printout her way. “Turns out, there’s two seeds.”

Her eyes go wide.

You grin. “Which means two babies. Like Willow and Jace.”

She gasps dramatically, hands flying to her cheeks. She whispers. “Two fruit?”

Zayne chuckles. “Exactly.”

Serena stares at your belly like she’s trying to x-ray vision through your shirt. “Your belly gonna be extra big. Like what Auntie Rose say before?”

“Yes. And thanks, honey,” you mutter, patting her head while Zayne snorts.

She beams. “It’s okay. I’ll help take care of them. I’ll be a big sister times two!”

You smile, heart swelling, as she scoots closer and presses her ear against your stomach like she’s trying to hear a secret.

“They’re talking,” she says solemnly. “One said I want cookies.”

“That one’s definitely yours,” you tell Zayne.

He leans back, lips twitching. “Smart already.”

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Notes

Since I already did a planned pregnancy announcement before, I thought this angle would make sense—especially because, well, it is a surprise after all! Hope y’all enjoy! 💕

I was editing to add the rest of the series part but it was too long ahahaha so here's just the whole list: Parenthood AU Masterlist ✨

Although if you missed the Newlyweds series! Here How it all happen And also the Pregnancy series, starting with Try For Baby

[kate-royal-style-world]

A Royal Recycling (part 366)

Barbour

[moonflower91]

"One, or three or six more..."

sequel to "I have a wife?!" mentions of a difficult pregnancy and homophobic parents

You were released that same day in the early afternoon with a prescription for antibiotics, stool softeners, and Tylenol. Nat helped you hobble tot he car, and handed you the pillow she'd brought from home and held your thigh the entire way home.

She even helped you lay down in bed because your belly still felt like you'd been hit by a car. But, despite all that, you couldn't help but feel emotional, tears in your eyes and falling to trail into your hair as Natasha sat beside you in bed.

You were thankful when she wiped those tears away with a gentle hand.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay, I promise. You’ll be able to hold him again in a few weeks.”

"I know, it's just...I feel like I'm missing out on him already." You missed your squishy little baby with his sassy expressions and the way he always looked up at you and Nat when he ate. How could you do that now when you struggled holding a goddamn pillow against your middle?!

"It'll be okay. You're his momma, he can't ever forget you. You're his first memory."

“I’ve literally been stabbed, and you’re telling me it’s okay?!" You snapped, and then immediately regretted it when the pain flared hotly. You sniffled, and then you felt bad again for another reason. "I can’t hold my own baby and-and what if he starts crying and I can’t comfort him? And giving him a bath! And-and feeding him?!”

“The doctor said it was okay, and you can pump too. You’ll still be able to cuddle him.”

"And I-I cant even be a good wife. You're so busy and now you have to take care of an invalid and an infant."

"You are far from an invalid." She assured, once more brushing away the tears that fell. "And I married you. I vowed to take care of you, sickness and in health. This is that part. Let me do my part and take care of my family."

A long silence passed, and while that made you feel a little less guilty and useless, you couldn't help but grumble out, “This fuckin’ sucks.”

“I know. Fucking gallbladder.”

“Fucking gallbladder. Remember that bitch tech said I don’t fit any of the 4 F’s for gallbladder issues? While I was in literal agony.” It could almost be a compliment, but you had felt nothing but offended as the organ God gave every person in the world, acted like it hated you and wanted you dead.

“She was an asshole. What were they again?”

“Forty, fat and…well the other two were female and fertile. And I was definitely fertile.” At that time, you had been five months pregnant and had had to suffer an agonizing six more months because the doctor said she couldn’t operate and take the stupid organ out until 10 weeks after birth. She kept morphine orders in place for you to go up whenever the organ acted up.

“Yeah. I’ll take the next baby, okay?”

You couldn’t help but smile at her. Henry was more than enough for right now, but the promise still made you feel warm inside. She'd wanted this life with you, she'd assured you more than once, and wanted babies with you.

Sometimes, you couldn’t believe you were here. With Natasha, in this beautiful house with a nice yard and a nice green fence with a baby. And still idly planning for more babies one day.

“I love you so much. We could live in a cardboard box right now and I’d be the happiest woman alive. Just as long as you and Henry are with me.” You murmured, pressing the pillow a little more firmly into your healing middle. The nurse had been right about the pillow helping.

“I love you too." Nat's eyes were warm. "More than flying.”

With another smile, she leaned down and planted a lingering kiss to your lips.

But, that stupid lingering worry for your baby boy was ever present in your mind. And you were getting the sneaking suspicion this would be a permanent condition associated with motherhood. “Are you sure Bob’s okay with Henry right now?”

“Positive. Guy is having the time of his life at the cafe by the beach with him right now.” You opened your mouth, and Nat good naturedly cut you off. “He’s got his hat on, his socks on, those cute little gloves on so he doesn’t scratch himself and Bob knows to keep him in the shade. He’s his godfather for a good reason, sweetheart.”

“He’s not letting anyone touch him is he? C-cause you know, germs and all that.”

“Baby, they’re okay. I promise. We gotta focus on you, right now. You just had surgery.”

You hummed in agreement. “All things considered, compared to giving birth, this is a cakewalk.”

Natasha cringed, but her hand still found yours and you were struck again how perfectly they just...fit together. You’d met her three years ago after being ditched by your friends at a bar, and had been crazy about her ever since.

This hand had held yours across a scratched bar table. Held yours at the movies. Held yours when you introduced her to your parents--they hadn't known you were attracted to women, and had been frankly terrified of their reaction. It had been explosive, but Natasha had made that time manageable. You might not have had your parents for a while, but you had her.

And when the time came, she had held your hand when you asked her if she would marry you.

She had held yours in a church, and held yours when you found out about Henry’s existence.

This hand held yours a thousand times before, and would a thousand times again and you intended to never let go.

“Not looking forward to that part.” She admitted, remembering the screams, the grunts, the clink of medical instruments, the smell. But she remembered the first cry, too. The happiness that just burst out of her heart to look at her family’s new addition for the very first time.

“I know.”

“Henry should have a sibling one day, though.” Natasha was an only child, and you knew that she’d felt lonely after her parents cut her off when she’d come out to them. She'd been there when your parents said to get out and never come back, but your parents at least came around. Hers never did. She would never discard Henry as her parents had discarded her, but one day, the two of you would be gone and she never wanted her baby boy to feel alone in the world.

“One day, baby.” Suddenly, you grinned cheekily. “Oh my god, babe. Our kid is gonna be a terror to the other kids. You remember how he rolled his eyes at Bradley?”

“It’s because you call him ‘chicken boy’ when he’s not looking.”

“If anyone can handle being called that, it’s him. Henry is gonna be tough, but he’ll be protective and loyal. ‘Cause we’re protective any loyal. And loving, he's gonna-he's gonna be so full of love. I can already see it. And if we have one, three or six more kids, Henry will not ever be alone.”

[starmocha]

.....that ask about zaynemc having a girl too

imagine a chaotic morning, mc's had to leave on a mission at like 4 in the morning, zayne's in charge of getting the kids ready and dropped off at school and then has to be at the hospital

everything's a bit chaotic and they gotta leave soon and zayne still needs to braid his 6 year old's daughter's hair because he promised he would but he can't find her nor snowdrop until he eventually checks his bedroom and finds 9 year old snowdrop brushing his sister's hair, a hair tie hanging very loose on his wrist

snowdrop says he was trying to save them time, and his little girl nods and smiles at him, she's missing one of her baby tooth, and snowdrop sighs and says he couldn't braid her hair, too complicated

and they have absolutely no idea how much they've warmed his father's heart and who, very patiently, sits next to them and teaches his son how to do it properly in case of emergencies lol

i like to think if zaynemc were indeed to have two kids, then apart from the normal bickering and bantering, the kiddos would be very protective of each other.

and xiu, do you understand your snowdrop (the entire toddler series) universe is so loved that we come in here talking about it as if we were talking about cards from the game itself? 🩵🩵

🥹🥹🥹 ahhhhh, this is sooooo cute, too! 💖💖💖💖💖

Snowdrop would definitely try to take on a caregiver role for his little sister to ease his parents' burden. He understands how demanding both their jobs are, so if he could make things a little easier for them, he would 🥺

You guys are the cutest whenever you want to talk about the toddlers 🥰🥰🥰 it was actually my original hope when I wrote the first Snowdrop fic a year ago that people would like it enough for me to expand, but I would never imagine you guys love asking me for my own headcanons and sharing yours as well, or even how much you adore the toddlers themselves. 🥹 or how we spawned the Snowdrop Conception Fic tomfoolery...............................

Thank you for the continuous love and support~ You all make developing the toddler series so fun for me. I truly did not see how invested I would become for it in 2025, but I'm happy you all are joining me on the ride 🙂‍↕️🫶

[royalchildreneurope]

Princess Beatrice, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi and Christopher Woolf Mapelli Mozzi attend the Christmas Morning Service at St Mary Magdalene's Church in King's Lynn, England -December 25th 2024.

[tales-of-a-seahorse]

Last week, I asked my OB to lay out the differences between a planned csection and an emergency csection. I wanted to know what a planned csection would look like in comparison to the emergency one I had with my first baby. I've now spent almost a week trying to get my head around it.

Most of the process of a planned csection seems much better than my first. It's slower. They use a spinal block instead of an epidural. I'll have time to talk to the resident and my OB beforehand. All of that seems much better to me.

But the part I'm struggling with is how it happens. In the back of my head, I sort of knew that I wasn't going to be in labor to have a planned csection. It's just scheduled on or around the due date, no induction of labor, no spontaneous labor. I'd just go in and they'd cut me open and pull out my baby. I don't think I like that. I think that might put a planned csection back on the level of awfulness as an emergency one.

Something I struggled with after my first csection was feeling like I didn't "give birth". Emphasis on the "give". I couldn't (and in a lot of ways still can't) articulate what it felt like instead. I'd go around and around trying on different words and the closest I ever got was it felt like my baby was taken from my body. I didn't give them birth. But at the same time take felt too strong- like my OB took my baby from my body without my consent. She didn't. I put my complete trust in her and her recommendation. I know it was the right thing to do... logically. Emotionally, on the other hand, I feel like I failed giving birth to my baby so someone else had to do it for me. Someone else had to take my baby from my body because I couldn't. I failed the first test of parenthood: my body could not safely give birth to my baby.

So, now, here I sit, knowing all the facts about how a planned csection will go and feeling worse about that potential outcome. At least with my first pregnancy my body did some work to try to birth my baby. At least I was in labor the first time around and I felt something. I put in some work to give birth to my baby before it became necessary to let someone else take over. This time, if it turns out I have to plan a csection, none of that will be true. If I have to have a planned csection, I'll just be numbed from the belly down and then my baby will be cut from my body. I'll feel nothing. Which really feels like I won't be "giving birth". Birth really will be taken from me. I don't know how to get my mind around that. I don't know how I'll get past that feeling. How will I ever get over feeling like I failed this baby worse than I failed my first?