translation of my horrible handwriting - "i'm not calling you a "good captain" Red, you almost got our entire crew killed!"

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translation of my horrible handwriting - "i'm not calling you a "good captain" Red, you almost got our entire crew killed!"
puuurrrplllleee whats it like kissing someone with such sharp pretty fangs?
"PFFFFT- I-I mean, who's really paying attention to their fangs anyway? That's dumb. But- But I mean if you're really curious, they're nice I guess. But again, who's really counting?"