Jan 14
SNOWY PROMISE ALERT SNOWY PROMISE ALERRTTTTT
CRISPIA HASN'T FALLEN, FAITH IN COOKIE KIND IS RESTORED, BILLIONS MUST PROMISE RAAAAAAAGHHHHHH
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SNOWY PROMISE ALERT SNOWY PROMISE ALERRTTTTT
CRISPIA HASN'T FALLEN, FAITH IN COOKIE KIND IS RESTORED, BILLIONS MUST PROMISE RAAAAAAAGHHHHHH
when a ship you like is lowk IRRELEVANT , RARELY has fan art, people keep MISINTERPRETING them, the source material does NOT care about the characters or their relationship in the SLIGHTEST, most people HATE the ship, you DON'T have the time or energy to draw all the cool fan arts that you think about, and the source keeps THROWING A WRENCH into their dynamic so you have to headcannon your way out like crazy
Drawing cookies as humans is kinda scary when you think about the lore because this is what White Lily saw at the witches' banquet
Now that I think about it, Burningcacao is just tfp Megop...
Shout out to the 5 other Purple Yam Cookie fans out there 🍠😊
(All things here are made for entertainment. This is a cookie literally becoming drunk and slapping another cookie. I do not condone this.)
Dark Cacao was happily snoozing in bed, resting until the sun was setting.
The warm, soft, and fluffy sheets were very comfortable for the cookie.
However, something was bugging him.
What did he have to do again?
Eh, screw it. It's not like he has a wife that LITERALLY THROWS HIM LIKE A RAGDOLL AND GIVES HIM THE MIKE TYSON TREATMENT IF HE DOESN'T HAVE DINNER READY WHEN SHE COMES HOME!
Dark Cacao's thoughts were bugging so much, that his fat ass actually got out of bed.
He put on his purple robes and slippers and went towards the door.
Dark Cacao opened the door, somewhat ready for another day, but that's probably because his head was still ringing after Golden Cheese literally used him like a punching bag.
He carefully went down the stairs, not to cause another "EUGH! I'M FALLING!" Incident again.
After Dark Cacao went down the stairs like a drunk person trying to get more beer, he made the best breakfast ever.
It was fucking Cinnamon Toast Crunch
He went to get milk from the fridge, when he thought of something.
Where tf is the milk?
He scratched his jawline, it made a itching sound every time he did. I wanted to shoot myself after hearing it, but due to the fact I have no weapons, I was unable to succeed in my quest.
He soon realized: there was no milk!
Wait, wasn't his dusty, musty, Krusty Krab wife suppose to get some?
What time is it anyway-
Oh, 6:00 PM.
OH, SHIT! 6:00 PM!
HE THREW THE BOWL ACROSS THE ROOM! HE CHUCKED THAT SHIT LIKE HE WAS A BASEBALL THROWER!
HE TOOK WHATEVER INGREDIENTS THERE WERE IN THE FRIDGE
TOMATOES? FISH? FUCKING IDK MEXICAN BLACK TAR HEROIN? YOU NAME IT
HE GRABBED THE NEAREST POT AND FILLED UP WITH WATER FROM THE SINK
HE DUMPED ALL THE "questionable stuff" (which I mean drugs.) INTO THE GODDAMN POT
I THINK THERE WAS EVEN SOME STUFF SPILLING BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW (I'm very unreliable.)
DARK CACAO THOUGHT THE STEW LOOKED EDIBLE SO HE GRABBED A COUPLE OF BOWLS
But, before he could, he heard the garage door open.
Oh, shit.
Soon, the Golden Goddess busted the door open.
"Eurgh. W-where's dinner?" Golden Cheese said while holding an half-empty beer bottle.
"U-uh. W-well, it's almost ready." Dark Cacao stuttered.
"ALMOST?"
Soon, Golden Cheese aimed her bottle directly at Dark Cacao's big ahh forehead. She could almost go pro with that aim
The glass bottle shattered when it hitted Dark Cacao and he fell onto the ground.
"W-what the hell i-is this s-shit?" Golden Cheese slurred.
"It's supposed to be-" Dark Cacao could not even finish his sentence before another bottle came at him.
"I WANTED CHEESEBURGERS! DAMNIT!"
Golden Cheese slammed her hands on the counter when she saw the supposed dinner.
"I-I'm sorry-" Golden Cheese gave Dark Cacao a Black Flash and sent him through the wall.
Dark Cacao was still alive, barely, but alive.
He was crawling away from his wife.
Soon, Golden Cheese instantly teleported to Dark Cacao.
"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO DEFY ME!"
Golden Cheese gave him the 1A treatment.
Dark Cacao's ears were ringing, but he swore he heard "1A! 1A! 1A!" Every time she landed a punch on him.
Golden Cheese stopped her actions for a split second.
Dark Cacao tried to use this opportunity to get away, but was unable to.
"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, FUCKER!"
Golden Cheese's hands were on Dark Cacao's knees. She gripped her hands tightly on his limbs.
She then CHUCKED HIM TOWARDS THEIR BEDROOM
Dark Cacao hitted another wall before landing on his bed that he woke up in.
He literally couldn't move. Like, he was actually paralyzed.
He started to hear footsteps climb up the stairs. He started to sweat and shiver at what she's gonna do to him.
The Golden Goddess was standing in the doorframe, holding a bottle of whiskey.
Dark Cacao wanted to crawl away. He wanted to plead. But, alas, his vocal chords were broken and all his limbs were literally shattered.
But, instead of giving him the "Hey, it's me, Goku!" Treatment for like the billionth time, she just stood there.
She leaned her head down and gave Dark Cacao the most sloppiest make out session you've ever seen. I'm not even gonna list the details, because I'm lazy as hell
She layed down in the soft bed Dark Cacao was in, and put her arms around him, cuddling him like a teddy bear.
Dark Cacao could almost smile.
Keyword: almost.
He still almost fucking died by the way
(This is like almost 4 times the amount of words of Chapter 4 from my other fanfiction. By the way, this was inspired by another fanfiction I saw on AO3. It was literally White Lily being an Alpha while Pure Vanilla was an omega, and he got pregnant, then White Lily accused him of cheating. Don't ask.)
???
School: Graduated