I complain a lot about being single but I believe it has so much to do with the fact everyone makes me feel horrible for finally being at peace with it. I finally feel free and can love myself while also feeling myself always searching for profound pieces of myself that need improvement. It's no longee forcing myself to keep going for the sake of faking it til I make it. The brokenness is still there but it's not as hard to put the pieces together when the pieces of my heart are hit with the sheer force of a bat of mental illness or unpredictable circumstances. I look forward to the day the universe decides that I am ready for love but until then... I have myself and the people I have chosen to be apart of all circles of my universe. I know it's so much easier said than done especially on days when it's so hard to pick yourself up after falling down into a tunnel that seems never ending... just needing the momentium from someone else to keep your feet going. It's a balance. It's so hard to see the light but I can feel the heat of it. It's enough to provide a direction even when I truly don't want to keep going. When I want to be erased... I instead I lean against the wall of the tunnel I am wandering aimlessly, I focus on feeling the heat of the light, taking a minute to remember that without pushing through the darkness, we would never know what the light is. It sounds like a cheesy quote you'd find on your mom's Facebook but it's true. Find your heat and understand that the balance between light and dark is necessary so we continue to be grateful for what we have.
