Apr 27
Sometimes just talking with someone can make a world of difference.
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Sometimes just talking with someone can make a world of difference.
some versions of you were only meant to exist long enough to get you here
Seeing Clearly - Chapter. 12 The Millers
Hi Everyone! This is the end of our main story. There will be an epilogue and maybe some follow up one shots, especially if anyone wants to request that. Thanks to everyone who has interacted, reblogged, liked, and commented. This is my first fan fiction and it's been such a joy to write and to post. Love you all! There is a character name reveal (it's pretty obvious sorry) and the fluff in this one is real. Unrealistic happy ending for Peepaw Joel and Ash.
Chapter Warnings: FLUFF (so much it'll make you sick), angst, cursing, smut, spanking, squirting, unprotected PIV, oral female and male receiving, all consensual - Minors - DNI
Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!OC Plus Size
Chapter Summary: The newest Miller is born. You and Joel finally get on the same page. 4.9K
Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11
Chapter 12. The Millers
“Shh, it’s okay little baby. Yeah, see, let me hand you to your big, strong Uncle Joel,” you coo and smile brightly as you pass the most perfect little baby girl you’ve ever held into Joel’s waiting arms. “Hi little angel, she looks just like Maria, thank God,” Joel says shooting you a wink and a smirk that says, ‘watch this’ as Tommy says, “HEY! I heard that,” from the kitchen.
It’s been a few days since the baby was born and you’ve been sleeping on the couch at Maria and Tommy’s taking shifts looking after their new little one. You and Joel hadn’t been able to be alone or talk much at all. Just exchanging glances and quick kisses in the hallway when no one was around.
“Hey,” Joel whisper shouts and then grabs your hand when you come out of the bathroom and pulls you to him. “Hi,” you whisper back, smiling up at him. He pulls you in for a kiss, its chaste and sweet but it still makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. Then he pulls you into a hug, his arms around your shoulders and yours around his middle. He hides his face in your neck and breathes you in. You’re certain you don’t smell great, no shower for a couple of days, dealing with newborn baby things you won’t mention by name, but Joel relaxes into the hug with a sigh of pure contentment. Tommy walks around the corner and you jump apart. “Well, don’t let me interrupt,” he says with a wink and Joel flips him the bird. Those moments are few and far between, always interrupted by someone in the Miller family and don’t lead to any talk of substance. Just stolen kisses and embraces that feel like you’re flying.
Back in the living room, Maria sits in the big cozy chair, smiling Joel holding the baby, while Ellie sits on the couch with her pad and colored pencils. Ellie says excitedly, “Okay, okay, I’ve waited long enough, what’s her name so I can draw this sign for her room!” Tommy walks into the room and stands next to Maria smiling down at her, encouraging her to tell everyone with a nod. Joel sits down next to Ellie with the baby in his arms and you stand next to the fireplace.
Maria finally speaks, “Okay, well, her name is Chloe…Sarah Miller.” The room goes quiet, your heart beats in your chest and tears form in your eyes, everyone looks to Joel, who is looking down at Chloe as a smile forms on his face, “Hey Chloe.” You want to run to him but this thing with you and he is all so new and so instead you’re frozen in place. “Your cousin, Sarah would have loved you so much, and now you share her name, little baby. And your other cousin, Ellie is gonna take good care of you your whole life, okay?” Ellie is holding tears back now too. Tommy and Maria look at each other with smiles. Joel looks up at you a tear streaming down his cheek but a big smile on his face as he says, “Chloe Sarah Miller, how about that? Thank you, Tommy, thank you, Maria. She’s perfect.” He wipes his cheek and laughs a little at himself. Tommy speaks then, “Well, Chloe, I think you’ve got your grumpy Uncle Joel wrapped around your finger, huh?” Joel takes the baby and passes her to Maria for a feeding, then Joel stands up and gives Tommy a bear hug and the two of them walk outside to the front porch all smiles.
Overwhelmed with all the emotion in the air, you retreat to the kitchen and sit down to get a moment to yourself. You think of all the things that have happened in the last few days. It’s all good stuff but it’s a lot. You feel like you have whiplash, and you’re afraid everything is going to come crashing down around you. Joel will decide he doesn’t want you and he’ll push you away. You’ll lose all this. Ellie, Maria, Tommy and Chloe. A family. You haven’t had a family in over 20 years, and when you were captured by the raiders you didn’t have time to think about what family would feel like anymore, you were living moment to moment trying to survive. For this to be taken from you now, you don’t think you could survive it.
You start to hear voices coming from the front porch, Joel and Tommy talking. “You two look mighty cozy, big brother,” Tommy says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. Joel scoffs, “Tommy, it’s early. You need to keep your mouth shut, I don’t even know what’s going on, so I don’t need you guessin’ and making assumptions.” Tommy sighs, “Joel, listen to me, you’ve got somethin’ good goin’ with her, don’t ruin this for yourself. You seem happy, different, it’s a good thing.” It’s quiet for a moment until Joel speaks again, “I wouldn’t go that far, but I heard what you said, now drop it. Focus on bein’ a father to that baby of yours.” You feel your heart lurch in your chest. He doesn’t know what’s going on? What the fuck? Just a few days ago he confessed his affections for you, he looked you in the eye, and you thought, he might have been about to tell you he, that he, fuck, you’re so stupid. You had to get out of there, as soon as Tommy walks in the front door you have your boots pulled on, still unlaced but you hightail it out of there towards your apartment.
Joel stands and calls out to you, “Hey, Ash, where the hell are you going?” When you don’t respond he looks at Tommy, who shakes his head, “She heard you, you asshole, you better go make it right. You can lie to me about how you feel but you better tell her the truth and soon.” Joel nods slowly and takes off after you. Before you can reach the main street, he’s caught up to you. Damn your short legs. You stop when he grabs your arm gently and turns you to him. “Joel, I don’t want to hear it. One second you want me, the next you’re not sure what’s going on with us. I don’t think you understand how much your words and actions affect me. It’s not worth it. It hurts too much. I can’t have you wake up one day and decide I don’t matter,” your voice breaks and tears flood your eyes.
Joel grabs your face in his hands. “Ash, stop, baby listen. I don’t want Tommy in my business, what you heard was just what I was sayin’ to him to get him off my back. With the baby comin’, you and I haven’t had a chance to talk about this,” he gestures between you and himself. “And I wanted you to know before Tommy. You need to hear it first.” He wipes the tears from your eyes with his thumbs and smiles at you. You smile back, hopeful, scared, excited. Joel swallows, takes a deep breath and continues, “I love you. I’m so sorry it took me this lo—.” You shush him putting your fingers to his lips and closing your eyes as you whisper, “Say that again, Joel.” You feel him smile under your fingers and he whispers, “I love you.” Then he says it again, “I love you,” with a kiss, “I love you.” He puts his forehead to yours and you open your eyes as you say, “I love you, Joel. I think I always have.” He smiles big this time and so do you, and you kiss him again.
After a moment of stillness, togetherness, he says, “Come with me.” He grabs your tiny hand in his and walks you back to Tommy and Maria’s. He opens the door and leads you in with a hand at the small of your back. When you enter the living room, Tommy holding baby Chloe, Ellie drawing her name on her pad of paper, Maria knitting a blanket, they all look up expectantly. Joel takes your hand again and clears his throat, you have no idea what the fuck is going on but you’re along for the ride, whatever it is. Ellie breaks the silence, “What the fuck, Joel?” Joel scowls at her, “Ellie, language. Um, okay. I’m in love with Ash. I needed to tell her before anyone else, but I need her to know that we’re all on the same page here. I’m in love with her and she’s going to move back in with us, Ellie, if that’s okay with you. Even if it’s not okay with you, we’ll talk about it till it is because it’s happening. Everyone clear on this?” Maria smirks into her knitting needles, Ellie’s mouth is basically on the floor, Tommy can’t help the laugh that escapes him, and your cheeks are red. Then he does something you would never expect, he grabs your face and kisses you and says, “I love you, baby. And now everyone who matters knows. Wanna move in with me?” Chloe pipes in now with an incredibly adorable coo/giggle. And then everyone laughs except you and Joel who can’t stop smiling and looking into each other’s eyes.
Joel speaks again since you don’t respond, driving the point home, “I want everyone to know because I’m not letting one more stupid thing I do stop us from bein’ together. I wanna make you happy; I wanna make you laugh; I wanna make you smile. I wanna make you feel safe, every day and every night.” Ellie wolf whistles at that and Tommy smacks her on the back of the head lightly. “I want everyone in this town to know you’re mine and I’m all yours. So, again, will you move in with me?” You look around at everyone, they’re all waiting with bated breath. Then you look back up at Joel, his eyes, they’re always the key to unlocking him and right now, they’re hopeful and nervous and joyful and so you say, “Yes, Joel. I’ll move in with you, if it’s okay with Ellie.” Ellie speaks up, “Fine by me, just don’t be so loud that I can hear you out back, barf.” Another swat from Tommy. Joel looks happier than you’ve ever seen him, he kisses you again and says, “Okay, let’s go get your stuff.” You laugh, “What, right now?” He looks at you confused, “Uh, yeah, now, what… you need to wait till your lease is up?” You smirk at him then direct your attention to the others in the room, “Okay, we’ll be back in a little while, I guess. Are you all gonna be fine without us?” Maria and Tommy look at each other and smirk then Maria speaks, “You two lovebirds take your time, we’ll be here.” She winks at you and your cheeks go red again. Ellie gets up and hugs you and you look at Joel shocked, he smiles at you and then brings you both into his arms. Ellie yelps, “Ugh, our first family hug, I may die of cheesiness.” She starts to push you both away, “Mom, Dad, let go! Go “move in” we all know that’s just code for doin’ it.” Joel smiles, winks at you and says, “Oh no, babe, she cracked the code.” A resounding boo comes from Maria, Tommy and Ellie chimes in, Joel puts his arm around your shoulder and walks you out the front door.
“Baby,” Joel whispers and you look up at his beautiful face, “we are gonna move your stuff, but it was also code because I’m gonna make love to you till you beg me to stop.” You feel slick pooling in between your legs just at his voice and his words. “Okay,” you say to him with a coy smile. He looks serious and says, “Okay, what?” “Okay…Daddy?” you respond. His eyes roll in the back of his head in pleasure, and he kisses your temple, with a grunt and sighs, “Good girl. Look, I love you, honey. I’m not going anywhere; I’ll prove it to you every day till you believe it.” You breathe in his perfect scent and look into his eyes again before saying, “I believe it, Joel. But you can keep proving it too me, that sounds nice.” “I’ll prove it to you in some not so nice ways too, baby,” he says with a growl. “I like the sound of that too, Mr. Miller,” you tell him with a wink. “Alright then, let’s get you home,” with that Joel puts his hand in your back right pocket and walks you back down to main street to your temporary home.
You put the last of your things in a box to carry back to Joel’s house. All that was left was the black wolf Joel gave to you. He holds it in his hands as you walk over to him. You wrap your arms around him and give him a squeeze, he puts an arm around your shoulders holding you close and says, “You know I knew I loved you the night I painted this. It only took a few days to figure it out.” You hummed in response and let him keep talking. “I thought I was done feelin’ this way, I didn’t think I could fall in love anymore. And then you upend my life, how dare you?” he says with a twinkle in his eyes. “You said you liked it and soon as you got upstairs, I painted it. I didn’t even think I’d ever give it to you. Didn’t think I could ever be enough for you. I still don’t think I am.” You smack him on the ass in irritation at the thought, but he continues, “That mornin’ that we kissed, I’ve never wanted anyone more in my life than in that moment. And that’s what scared me. I shouldn’t be allowed to want somethin’ so much. Certainly, shouldn’t be allowed to have it.” He sighs, “But…I couldn’t help puttin’ this wolf with your things before you left. Couldn’t watch you leave though, too painful.” He squeezes you a little tighter, touching your face with the wolf in his hands softly, “I will never stop being sorry for hurtin’ you, Ash. I, I thought I was doin’ what was best, but I know now that staying away from you just hurt you more. I swear to you, I’ll never do it again. I’m right here, by your side, till the end.”
You press a kiss to the wolf and look up at Joel, his eyes are wet, and so are yours. “Joel, I really do forgive you. And I love my wolf. Actually…,” your cheeks turn pink, “the night you came here to talk to me and then you heard me, you know,” Joel looks at you with a smirk and a questioning look in his eyes now, “I actually used the wolf… down there, I don’t know what came over me.” He closes his eyes and holds the wolf a little tighter biting his lip to hold in a groan of pleasure. “Well, baby, we might just have to use it again sometime. But for now,” he says while he puts the wolf away in the box on the dresser, “I want ya all to myself. One more time, in this bed, a goodbye to our temporary time apart.” Joel turns back to you and takes your face in his hands and presses his lips to yours in a perfectly slow kiss.
Joel starts to pull up the hem of your shirt, “Can I take this off, baby?” You nod looking in his eyes, he slowly starts to pull all your clothes from you while you unbutton his flannel and move to his belt. In moments, you both stand in front of each other unclothed, taking in each other’s bodies. You touch first, touching shaking fingers to the scars littering Joel’s chest and stomach. Joel then touches you, putting a hand on your neck and running it down your collarbone to your breast that’s heaving with your quick breathing. His other hand petting your lovehandle and running down to your hip. He reaches for your ass and pulls you close to him. “Baby, you are perfect. I love every inch of this body of yours. Fuck, do you see what you do to me,” he groans as he pushes your head to look down at his rock-hard cock that’s pressing into your tummy.
You spit in your palm and take him in your hand. You hand is comically small compared to the size of him and you put your other hand in Joel’s, using him to help you down to your knees. Joel bites his bottom lip, looking down at you with adoration. “Baby, you don’t-,” his breath hitches in his throat as you take him into your mouth. His eyes close shut as you hum around his length. His hand flies to your hair, holding you in place. As he opens his eyes, he locks them with yours and a whimper flies from him. “Never seen anythin’ so pretty,” he barely gets the words out and you take him as far into your throat as you can while you cup his balls lightly. “Oh, fuck, baby, all the way? You takin’ all of me in your throat? Baby. God, s'perfect. Unnnggg. Baby, stop, stop, it’s so good, gonna make me come too soon,” he says brokenly, tapping your head lightly to get you to stop. You pull your mouth away, frowning, tears springing from your eyes. Joel smiles at your frown, “Oh, s'it make you sad not to have your mouth full of my cock, baby?” “Mmm hhm,” you say fighting a smile as Joel pulls you back up to standing.
You wince, “I’m gonna need a pillow for my knees next time, I’m not as spry as I used to be.” Joel chuckles as he takes off your glasses and sets them down on the nightstand, “You’re amazing, that was plenty spry, and I’ll make it my mission to find a knee pillow for just that purpose.” You smile up at him, a tinge of embarrassment colors your cheeks. “Hey, come here,” Joel commands as he pulls your mouth to his kissing you passionately, asking for more, more, more with his hands and his tongue. He tastes perfectly Joel, a flavor you’ve come to recognize and crave. He gently lays you down on the bed sideways, while he remains standing. He maneuvers your legs straight in the air resting on his chest and pulls your ass against the top of his thighs. He takes his fingers and slides them against your folds and groans, “I just knew you’d be soaked, always so wet for me, aren’t you, baby?” You whimper beneath him as he lines up his cock with your entrance and enters you slowly, relishing in every feeling, every touch of your bodies coming together. It's heaven. Nothing and no one has ever made you feel this good.
You moan so loudly and gutturally, overwhelmed with the size of Joel and the pleasure he’s giving you. Joel’s eyes turn black as he fucks into you slow and deep, “The fucking sounds you make drive me out of my mind.” You respond, your voice already raspy, “Don’t hold back, Joel, I can take it, give it to me.” Joel’s eyes widen at that, and he increases his pace and intensity to a level you’ve never experienced. “You want me to fuck you hard, baby, I can do that,” he says breathing heavily over you. “Oh. My. God. Joel. Fuck. Don’t stop. It’s. So. Good.” Almost every word bursting from you with every thrust he makes. “Daddy, it feels, oh god. Spank me, please, Joel,” he looks at you with a wicked smile, “I knew you liked it.” And he surprises you still with a hard smack to your left ass cheek, then tickles his fingers up the back of your thighs. It feels so good the pain and then the tenderness. You want him to just take full control of you. Before you can think too much on that, he smacks your right cheek, tickling up your thigh. His voice breaks as he says, “God, you love it, your perfect cunt squeezin’ so hard every time, ugh.” You feel yourself coming apart completely as you warn him, “Joel, oh, I’m, I’m, I’m gonna come, Joel oh fuck, oh Daddy!” Joel takes his fingers and presses them to your clit right as you come undone, and you feel a splash as you squirt liquid onto Joel’s thighs and the floor. You’ve never experienced this before. You didn’t even know it was possible. It felt so good, so intense and animalistic, like your body was pushed to its absolute limit in that moment. Joel keeps fucking into you as you ride your high, “Oh my god, you did so good, look at that, made a mess everywhere. Fuck, baby, you fucking squirted, good girl, that’s so good.” He starts to slow as you seem to get overwhelmed. He kisses your foot down to your ankle as he pulls out of you, still hard as steel, dripping with evidence of your pleasure, he looks like some kind of god.
He pushes you further into the bed and lays your head on the pillow as he joins you. Pulling you close to him and kissing you incessantly and he speaks between kisses, “Baby, have you done that before?” You shake your head, and he continues, “Wow, fuck, it was amazing, did it feel good?” You nod, still incoherent and coming back down to Planet Earth. He pets your head and rubs his hand up and down your body, touching you sweetly, “I love you so much, I think you and I were made to fuck, I mean it.” You start to giggle at that, still out of breath till you finally say, “I think so too, god, Joel, you’re incredible.” Joel laughs at that and begins to climb down the bed and in between your legs, leaving a trail of kisses down your body till he’s kissing your mound just above your pussy. You speak a little panicked, “Joel, you don’t have to-, oh god, Joel.” He pushes his tongue directly into your slick hole as deep as he can, moaning and humming filling your cunt with tingles and vibrations and suction, driving you out of your mind. “I had to taste you baby, just needed a little taste of her,” he tells you from between your legs, and all you see is his hair peeking out over your belly because you can’t lift your head at all.
“Just a little though,” he says, and you whine at the loss while he kisses his way back up your body, making quite a long stop at your breasts where he bites and sucks marks all over your chest. “Mine,” he says either to your tits or to himself, you’re not sure but it makes you smile all the same. When he gets up to your face he says, “Open.” You immediately obey and he spits into your mouth, “Taste yourself.” Then he licks into your mouth and kisses you mixing his spit, yours and your come all together for you to enjoy. “I need you,” you squeak out. “Make love to me, Joel. Please,” you beg, and Joel enters you quickly. “Anything you ask me for, I’ll give you,” Joel moans out and then he puts his forehead to yours and slowly thrusts and grinds himself into you. You feel his weight all over you and in you and your eyes never leave his. “I love you, Joel,” you say as tears start to form in your eyes. “I love you, Ash,” Joel says, his eyes glassy too. “You want to know my real name?” you ask with a small smile, moaning at the way he pushes into you deeper at the question. “You were actually really close, it’s, fuckkk,” you scream, he’s just so big, “It’s Ashley.” Joel laughs and stills his movement, “Damn, Ashley, I was so close.” He picks up speed now and kisses you deeply before saying, “Ashley, its beautiful, fuck, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, I love you, Ashley. Fuck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna fill you up, Ashley. You want that?” “Yes, Joel, I need it, please.” “Oh, here it comes, ugh, baby, Ashley, you feel so good, I love you,” he’s yelling at this point and spills his hot come into you. After a few seconds he hasn’t stopped, “Oh god, I’m still coming, fuck, I have so much for you, Ashley. Fuck. Look what you do to me, take it baby, take all of it, it’s yours.” You squeeze his biceps as you come again, “I love you, Joel, I love you so much.”
Many moments later, the two of you are wrapped around each other, Joel is playing with your hair, and you are running you hand along his hip and outer thigh. “Baby?” you ask, and Joel just hums in response, “Can you keep my real name a secret, I only want you to know.” He speaks slowly, pulling you tighter to him, “It’s our little secret, baby.” Before you can drift off to sleep, Joel takes you in the shower to clean up, unfortunately, you get dirty again in that shower with Joel fucking you from behind. And then you clean up again. Then you get dressed and walk your boxes back to Joel and Ellie’s house, your house too now. As you pass, people in town notice the two of you and whisper to each other. You’ve both been a little dramatic since you met, and the town’s been guessing on the will they/won’t they of it all like you were part of some old sitcom. Well, they will. You and Joel, and you’re proud to walk with him and have people know.
When you get to the house you find Ellie setting the table for three for dinner. You put the boxes down by the stairs and pull out the wolf to place back on the mantle where you originally saw it. Booping it on the nose as you do. Joel smiles warmly at you. You smile back at him. Ellie makes a coughing sound to get your attention, “Hey lovebirds, stop it. I got dinner from the food hall, figured you’d be hungry after whatever it is you did all afternoon, please don’t tell me anything.” You go over and hug the little gremlin of a teenager and say, “Thank you, Els, that’s really nice of you.” She hugs you back then pushes you to sit so she can serve you, “Yeah, yeah, I just figured it would be a nice welcome home dinner or whatever.” You look up at Joel trying to control the tears that are building in your eyes. Ellie speaks again, “Okay, it’s not that big of a deal, I just picked it up and brought it here, relax.” You put your hand over your mouth and Joel sits down at the head of the table next to you looking at you when he speaks to Ellie, “You did good, kid. Thanks.” Ellie goes on to serve the meal and fill your glasses, you eat as a family, laughing, asking Ellie about her friends, talking about baby Chloe. Ellie even talks about Dina and Joel looks at you with affection, you both knowing that Ellie is embarking on her own love story now too. Joel suggests Dina come to dinner next Friday and Ellie agrees, her cheeks red. After everything you’ve all lost, it’s amazing what you’ve found here together in the end.
That night, you and Joel get ready for bed side by side, brushing your teeth but smiling at each other as you do. Changing into sleep clothes, Joel’s happy to learn that you sleep in just panties, which you’re only doing now because you feel safe enough sleeping with him next to you. You do keep one of his t-shirts on the nightstand just in case. When you move to put the t-shirt there, you see the copy of No Country for Old Men laying there, you pick it up and thumb through it. Joel speaks up, “I’m about halfway,” and you hmm in response. “Second read through,” he adds. And a smile forms on your lips. He smiles up at you, “Think I’m gonna keep it here, for sentimental reasons. Think I’ll get fined by the sexy Librarian?” He pulls you to lay your head on his chest, your arm across his torso and your leg tangled between his. You giggle and say, “I have an in with her, I think I can get her to cut you some slack.” He chuckles and presses a kiss to your head and whispers, “’Night, my love.” You smile into his chest, and he smiles too. “Night, Joel,” you whisper back. You’re both asleep within minutes. And you never have another nightmare as long as Joel is sleeping next to you and neither does he.
The next morning you wake up more refreshed than you’ve felt in decades. Joel’s warmth surrounding you, his light snore comforting you like a noise machine. He feels you stirring and starts to stir as well. You try to pull yourself from him, but he squeezes you tighter. “Jooooooel, I need to pee,” you whine as he starts to kiss your skin any part his lips can reach. “Unnnnng, okay baby, go ahead,” he says loosening his grip but quickly pulls you back again. You giggle and a chuckle rumbles from deep in Joel’s chest. He actually lets you go now. You take a breath looking in the mirror as you wash your hands. You barely recognize the woman you see. She’s so happy. It makes you smile, then you see the marks on your breasts, light purple and blue bruises, evidence of Joel, you run your finger over the marks lovingly.
You hear a grunt coming from the bedroom, you walk towards the door calling out for Joel and open the door. “Joel, are you, oh my god.” There’s Joel in his little black boxer briefs and a smile on one knee, hence the grunt, holding a gold band with a small, beautiful diamond on it. “Ashley, baby, ever since I met you, you’ve opened me up,” Joel says, shifting his back knee around. You rush to him, “Joel, baby, stand up.” You help him stand, “Okay, continue,” you say tears filling your eyes. He holds your hand smiling at you, “You pulled me out of a hole I was hiding in. You are everything to me, I never want to be without you for the rest of my days. I want to love you forever. You wanna be an official Miller? Marry me?” You kiss him deeply, tears running down your cheeks. “Yes, Joel, I really do want to marry you. I want to be a Miller.” He smiles at you and kisses you, putting the ring on your finger, it fits perfectly. “Joel, I can’t believe you, where did you find this?” “Found it on patrol about a month ago, after we went on patrol the first time. And something told me to keep it,” Joel says as he kisses you again. “Mrs. Miller, sounds pretty good,” Joel says wrapping his arms around you and holding you tight. “I love you, Joel.” He smiles into your hair and whispers it back to you, never letting you go.
The End.
Taglist:
@somedayheaven@guelyury@elegantduckturtle@indiegirlunited@cheekychaos28 @ghostofzion @harriedandharassed @missladym1981 @littlemisspascal @brittmb115 @sarahhxx03
Oh my gosh, I think I just finished Seeing Clearly. Chapter 12 is the last chapter, I have an epilogue in mind and may do some fun one shots or whatever, not sure. But the story itself is done. I just have to reread it, edit it and then I’ll be posting it. Probably tomorrow! Eeeeep!
ashleyfilm - Writing Masterlist
HI! Here's a masterlist of my writings, it's only two stories so far but figure I should go ahead and start building this. Everything I write has cursing and smut so beware and Minors GET OUT OF HERE.
Joel Miller:
Seeing Clearly - Joel Miller x Female Plus Size OC Reader Series - Main Story Complete
Frankie Morales:
I'm Yours - Frankie Morales x Female Reader One Shot for the Roll-a-Trope Challenge
Dave York:
The First Morning with Dave York - Dave York x Female Reader One Shot
Ezra from Prospect:
WIP - Coming Soon
Seeing Clearly - Chapter 11. Joel
Hi Everyone! This is one is a bit different. We're gonna start with Joel's POV and then switch back to our dear Ash's POV. It will be clearly labeled. Enjoy!
Chapter Warnings: cursing, smut, softDom Joel, sub Ash, name calling during sex, light degradation, spanking, unprotected PIV, oral female and male receiving, all consensual - Minors - DNI
Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!OC Plus Size Reader
Chapter Summary: Joel finds you after the incident with Ryan. 4.2K
Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10
Chapter 11. Joel
Joel’s POV
Goddammit, how did this happen? How did he let this happen? How did he fail him again? He’s his little brother and he needs to take care of him. “Tommy, tell me who did this?” Tommy looks at Joel and sighs. Suddenly, the door opens, and Ellie enters like she’s on a sugar high. “Don’t worry, she took care of it,” Ellie says with a smile after she looks around and sees that Maria is no longer present. Joel’s mouth is a hard line, “What happened?” Ellie, just to be sure says, “Where’s Maria?” Tommy answers this time, “She’s down talking to some town leaders.” Ellie continues, “Okay, so Ash went to talk to Ryan,” Joel slams his hand down on the table and looks at Tommy, “Ryan did this?” Tommy gives him a look. Ellie, “Yeah, so she went into the cell with Ryan, and I don’t know what she said to him, but he looked so scared of her, it was awesome. By the time I got there, she had like clawed his face and then she said something else to him and he was crying, and she bit part of his ear off and spit it In! His! Face! It was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. And that guy Bill, he escorted him out. So, I guess that’s that.”
Before anyone could respond, Joel walks out the front door as he says, “Ellie, stay with Tommy!” He walks as quickly as he can to your apartment, immediately knocking on your door. Impatient, he knocks again, and then the door whips open and you’re there. Your hair is damp from a shower, you’re wearing the sleeveless guns and roses shirt that you found with Joel when you were first here. With jeans that hugged your thighs and ass so nice. He’s speechless, you’re so fucking beautiful. He’s thought that since the day he found you covered in blood. He wanted you from the moment you first busted his balls. It took everything in him not to breakdown the door to your room in his house and fuck you that first night you slept there. He didn’t think he deserved you, he didn’t think you’d ever want him if you knew who he truly was. But now he sees that you’re the same. You did what he would have done, in your way, and he will be grateful to you for how you defended his brother for the rest of his days.
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Ash's POV
“Joel?” you say quietly. He looks at your face in a way you’ve never really seen before. His eyes are at once, beautiful, lusty, warm, and loving. He grabs your face in his big hands and his lips crash into yours. God, his lips are amazing. He pushes you inside the door and kicks it closed from the inside. Pushing you against the little table in your kitchenette, he starts to kiss your neck and palms your plump ass with both his hands. “I love this shirt on you,” Joel says into your neck. “Oh yeah?” you breathe out. “Yeah, you look hot, but I want it off,” Joel says as he pulls it up at the hem. You lift your arms up and let him take it off and throw it to the side. You’re not wearing a bra. He looks entranced by your heavy breasts, then reaches both hands and lifts one to feel the weight in his hands, the other he thumbs your nipple. “Fuck,” he groans, and you smile. “Okay, yours too, fair’s fair,” you sigh and start to take his shirt off as well. And he smiles and laughs, and you see that dimple and you cup your hand on his cheek. God, he’s just the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.
For a second you worry, what if he pushes you away after this, what is this? He seems to notice the change in your eyes, and he holds your hand against his cheek, turns his mouth into your palm and kisses you there, never breaking away from your eyes. Then he pulls you close and your breasts touch his chest, and it feels sexual but also comforting and sweet. He smells your hair and holds you for so long, rubbing his hands down your back, while your hands move to his ass and squeeze. Which makes him chuckle. But then he stills, “Thank you, for what you did for Tommy. You…okay?” You sigh and run your nails up and down his lower back lightly, “So, Ellie spilled the beans? I’m sorry, Joel, I didn’t see her follow me and I-” he cut you off. “Don’t apologize, she’s seen worse. The little psycho loved it, I think she might be obsessed with you now, if she wasn’t already.”
“I’m fine, I’ve seen worse too,” you say, and he finally pulls back just enough to look at you. “You wanna tell me about that?” he asks as he pushes your hair behind your ear. And you nuzzle into his touch, “Maybe another time when both our tits aren’t out.” You lean in a put your mouth around his nipple, biting lightly. Then his hands fly to the button on your jeans as he moans, “You’re right, let’s take advantage of this first.” The two of you are giggling now, pulling at each other’s pants until you’re both just in your underwear, your little black ones that your ass has eaten up a little, Joel in little black boxer briefs. His fucking thighs, good lord. Your hands are all over each other and you’re making out like two wild animals. The next thing you know the back of your legs hit your mattress. Joel breaks your kiss to look at you. He looks like he wants to devour you, and you think you want him to.
“Lay on the bed,” he commands, and you obey laying back in just your underwear. He stands at the end of the bed towering over you. He’s so big, so intimidating, covered in scars but he’s so beautiful and you feel so safe. He gets down on his knees and pulls you to the end of the bed. “You good?” he breathes. “Yeah, I’m so good,” you gasp. He nods, like you gave him the green light and now there’s no holding back. He brings his face into your clothed pussy and inhales, “God, I missed you.” He says looking directly between your legs. He takes his time pulling at the waistband of your underwear and dragging them down your legs. Instinctually, you start to close your knees but he’s quick to stop you, pushing them apart, “Gotta get a good look at her, sweetheart.” He uses his thumbs to pull your folds apart and look inside. No one has ever inspected you like this, it’s strange but it feels so sensual. “Oh, baby, you’re already so wet.” Joel says in an almost pitying way. “Need my help, pretty girl?” he asks as he looks into your eyes, and you feel his hot breath on your leaking hole. You nod, and of course he demands, “Baby, I need to hear your words. Answer me when I speak to you, you understand?” A shiver runs down your spine and even more slick starts to collect at your entrance. “Yes, I need your help, Joel,” you whine, and he says, looking back at your wet cunt, “You like that, don’t you? You like when I tell you what to do. Interesting, you’re such a pain in my ass out there, but in here, you just want to be my good girl, don’t you?” You bite your lip, and then remember your instructions, “Yes, I want to be your good girl, Joel.” “Good,” he says.
Then he takes his hot, wet, tongue and licks into your folds, groaning, “You taste so good, fuck, baby. I could lay here and just taste you for hours.” “Joel,” you gasp, and he starts to press his tongue as far inside your hole as he can, fucking you with his tongue. He then takes one of your hands and puts it to your breast to squeeze. Your other hand flies into his curls, scratching and rubbing at his scalp. His hands are holding your hips and ass from underneath you, pushing your pussy into his face while he continues working you with his tongue, his perfect nose is nudging your clit. Then he brings his mouth away, and spits down onto your opening. “Joel, fuck,” you gasp. “Mmm hmm,” he grunts and moves his mouth up to your bundle of nerves and sucks hard while he slides two thick fingers inside and almost immediately you say, “Joel, I’m gon-, I’m gonna, fuck, I’m coming!” You scream as your body winds so tight, and you fall completely apart groaning and moaning so loudly. Joel licks up everything you give him, you end up having to pull him off you then he looks up at you breathing heavy and smiling at you, “You came so fast, baby, that was incredible. I can’t believe the sounds I can get you to make, fuck. Jus’ perfect.”
You’re breathing hard while Joel rests his head on your thick thigh and rubs his hand along your belly, your hip and down your leg. You’ve still got your hand in his hair, it’s so incredibly soft. Joel starts to stand up and you sit up. He starts to take your glasses off, but you stop him saying, “No, I need to see.” Then you pull at the waist band of his underwear, “Why are these still on?” He smirks at you and starts to take them off and you lay back propped up on your elbows. He stands back to his full height, completely naked, and what a sight. His cock is at attention, thick, long, big. Not scary big, but like you know you’re gonna feel it the next day big. Your lips part and you stare, “Enjoying the view?” Joel asks with a smirk. You respond immediately, “My god Joel, no wonder you walk around like you do, all confident and bitchy.” He chuckles and then he looks serious again, “Get on your hands and knees.” You do it immediately facing the headboard of your bed.
Joel is basically growling from behind you. You look over your shoulder at him, you know you must look so fucked out. He smiles at you, while stroking his cock. You can’t pull your eyes away. “On second thought, why don’t come over here and get me nice and wet with that smart mouth of yours,” he says with a chuckle as he smacks your ass and then palms the cheek with his hand. You turn around and kneel on the bed eye level with his cock. You take your glasses off and hand them to him smiling. “Don’t need these now.” Joel groans, “Fuck, baby, you are such a good girl in here, so well-behaved. Now, open up.” Joel takes his dick in his hand and brings it to rest on your tongue and starts tapping and you love it. You didn’t think you could get any more wet, but you can feel it on your thick inner thighs. You wrap your mouth around the head to taste him and moan around him. He grabs your hair together at the nape of your neck holding you there, groaning above you. You use your tongue to lick the underside of his dick, putting wet slopy kisses over his cock. You whine as he pulls you off him, “Okay, okay, we can do more of that another time, but I need ‘ta be inside you now. Inside her,” he coos as he brings his hand between your legs and smacks your lips, and you moan.
You move to get back on your hands and knees, but he stops you with a hand on your back and says, “Changed my mind, want you ‘ta ride me, first.” He sits on the bed with his back against the headboard. His dick throbbing and still wet from your mouth. Joel smacks his thigh, “Come on up here, baby.” You crawl up to him and straddle him with your knees on the outside of his thighs. He starts maneuvering you, grabbing your ass and pulling you up so your stomach pushes up against his cock and his tummy. His mouth finds yours and he kisses you passionately, while he lifts you by your hips and lines his cock up with you, hitting your clit first and you shiver. Then he notches at your opening and starts to help you slide all the way down over his cock. “Ooo fuck.” “Damn baby.” You both moan out together at the feeling. “Fuck, she’s so tight, uhnnn perfect fuckin’ cunt.” Joel stumbles over his words. Your eyes are squeezed shut, reveling in the feeling of Joel inside you, finally. “God, I’m so full, oh, it feels so good, Daddy.” Your eyes fly open in shock at what you said and Joel stills. When you look up into his eyes, they look fully black, he notices your fear and starts thrusting up into you hard and says, “How does Daddy feel? Tell me, now.” And you respond holding onto his shoulders for leverage as you start bouncing on him, “So good, Daddy, you’re so big.”
Joel growls and watches your heavy tits bounce in front of his face. Taking one of your breasts into his wet, warm mouth. And now that you’re bouncing on his cock on your own, his hands roam all over your body and moves the hair out of your face. “Wanna see you when you come on my cock, beautiful. Think you can come like this, baby?” You nod, unable to speak, and he doesn’t press you to use words. “Yeah? Yeah, Daddy’s dick making you feel so good, so full you’re gonna come all over me, yeah? Just a slut for Daddy’s cock? Come for me, do it. Come. Now.” And you do, with a slur of moans, fucks, daddys, Joels. He fucks you through it, and you bury your face in his neck. And he pets your hair and holds you close. “So good baby, you did so good for me. But we’re not done, are we?” You shake your head into his shoulder. He lays you back on the bed with your head on the pillow and walks into the kitchen, you barely hear him doing something in there, trying to bring yourself back down to earth.
Next thing you know, Joel is sitting down next to you on the bed pulling you up gently by the arm to sit you up and holds out a glass of water for you. Meanwhile his raging hard on catches your eye. After he helps you gulp down a few sips of water, he sets the glass on your nightstand next to the black wolf. You see him smile shyly when he turns back to you. He notices some water falling down your chin, and his smile widens, he reaches up and wipes the water away and licks his thumb and gives you a sweet kiss as you reach out to touch his length. He groans into your mouth and says, “Oh, you want more already, honey?” You sigh, “I want to take care of you, Joel.” He smiles while he says, “Don’t you mean, Daddy?” You giggle, “Shut up…Daddy!” Then you’re both laughing, and he lies you back down. “I do really like it, you callin’ me that. You can do it any time you like, ya hear me?” He says leaning over you. “Yeah, I could tell you liked it,” you say reaching up to rub your fingers through his hair. “You could? Well, you’re the one who said it, Oooh Daddy,” he says imitating you in the throes of passion.
You slap his chest lightly and turn on your side like you’re angry, but he can’t see the little smile on your face. “Baby…” he rubs your arm and kisses your shoulder, “I didn’t mean it, you know how much I fuckin’ love all the things you say and the sounds you make, you drive me fucking crazy with that.” Your shoulders start to shake as you laugh, he pulls you to your back and sees that you’re laughing. “You little brat, you scared me. I thought you were mad, ughhhh. Come here.” He pulls you over his lap with your head down and your ass up. “You know what happens to little brats?” He says tracing his fingers over your plump ass. “What happens, Daddy?” you coo over your shoulder at him. That’s when he smacks your ass hard with his big hand. “Brats get punished, baby,” he says and smacks you again and again. “Oooh, Daddy, fuck,” you moaned. “God, I knew you’d like this, such a bad girl.”
After a few more sharp smacks, Joel teases you with his fingers from behind and it feels like heaven. “Oh my god, Joel,” you gasp as he runs his fingers lightly up your back with his other hand. “Feel good? Tell me. Tell me how it feels,” he says low and rumbly. “It feels different and messy and so, so good. Need more,” you choke out in between whines and groans. “Oh, you need more? Okay, baby. I’ll give you more,” Joel says in this pitying way you just melt for. Joel then moves you back to lay your head on the pillow and he climbs on top of you, making you feel overwhelmed with him, his fucking scent which is magnified by the way your bodies are working together. It’s intoxicating and you feel like you’re in a fever dream. “Give me this leg baby,” he groans as he notches his dick at your center and pushes your leg behind your knee against your chest, folding you. He pushes in so slowly and you feel everything. Every inch, every vein, everything. You’re both moaning and moving your hips to meet each other. You didn’t know anything could ever feel like this. Feel this good and right and perfect. His right hand comes up to cup your cheek and make you look into his eyes. He’s close enough that you can see him and see the warmth and depth in his eyes. It’s like his eyes are trying to communicate with you, tell you he’s here, that he’s not leaving. You want to believe it so badly. But he’s hurt you before. With a hard and deep thrust the worries are taken from your mind and you turn yourself over to him, surrendering completely. Letting him inside, taking the risk. He kisses you then. And now all the words are gone, it’s just your moans, his grunts, his whimpers. You know this is something different, something special not just for you, but for him as well. He takes two fingers and puts them in your mouth, wetting them on your tongue and then his hand moves between your bodies, finding your clit with ease. Rubbing them easily into you, mixing your spit with your slick and you know you’re going to come apart again. He finally speaks but his voice is quiet and soft, “I know, I know, it’s okay, let go.” And you do, completely blind with pleasure. Your muscles contract and everything feels so good you don’t ever want it to stop. Joel continues the movements of his hips and his fingers. When it feels like you can’t go any higher, you’re hit with another wave of pleasure even stronger than the last, screaming Joel’s name into his neck. Joel is quickly coming apart and he asks, “Where? Tell me, where?” You can barely think but you respond, “Inside. Please.” And he releases, rope after warm rope of himself into you like a splash, and you think you might come again from the feeling.
You both breathe and try to come back down to reality. You don’t know how long it takes but he slips out of you, and you feel him dripping from your center. He takes the time to look at what he’s done, he looks mesmerized. He looks back at you, a tear coming out of your eye down the side of your face onto the pillow, he wipes it away and then grabs the glass of water to hand to you. He walks into your bathroom, and you hear the water running, he comes back with a warm washcloth and cleans you up and then himself. Setting the cloth back in the bathroom he comes back to join you. Taking the water and finishing it himself. “Can I hold you?” he asks quietly. You nod and he pulls you into his arms, your face in his neck, legs tangling together, he kisses your forehead as he tells you to rest, and you do.
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You wake up what feels like a couple of hours later, cold, alone. Of course he left. Did it even really happen, or had it been some dream to torture you? Suddenly you hear your door opening quietly, you sit up in bed, tears in your eyes and the sheets pulled up to cover your chest. Joel walks in, you can tell by his outline, and you reach for your glasses. He sees you and speaks, “Oh, you’re up. I thought I’d be back before you woke up. Had ‘ta go see Ellie, make sure she was okay. Hey, what’s wrong?” He walks over to you quickly cradling your face in his hands and wiping away your tears. You speak looking away from him, “I thought you left me. I didn’t think you were coming back.” He sighs, that classic Joel sigh but it’s not harsh or exhausted, this one is laced with guilt. “I’m so sorry. Look, I need to say something to you right now,” he sighs again and moves to hold your hands, waiting for you to look him in the eyes. “I know I’ve hurt you; I’ve disappointed you; I’ve pushed you away. I’ve acted like an asshole, well, I am an asshole. But I’ve lost so much, not more than others, but I lost my daughter the night of the outbreak, I hesitated, and I couldn’t save her. I’ve never forgiven myself and it… it tore me apart.” Tears start to form in his big brown eyes, and you hold his hand a little tighter. “It was just her and I, Sarah, she was perfect. And I didn’t think I could live without her. I tried to end it, but I couldn’t. The man I became after that, I was so dead inside, but so angry at the same time. I enjoyed hurting people; I liked causing pain to people I thought deserved it. Then I met Ellie, and she changed me, reminded me of Sarah, gave me a reason to try again. I love that girl and some of the worst things I’ve ever done, I did to save her.” Joel takes a deep breath, forcing himself to keep looking at you. Then, I meet you, and you made me want things I haven’t really wanted since before Sarah was born. But I didn’t think you would want me if you knew who I was. But I’m starting to think I was wrong, that you understand, and you do see me. And I hope you still want me. Because you’re all I want.” Your breath catches in your throat, and he grabs your hands tighter and pulls you closer. “I think about you every minute. I dream about you every night. I want to hold you, protect you, feed you, fuck you, listen to you talk, and show everyone in this town that you belong to me. If that’s what you want. If you can forgive me.”
You slowly start to smile, small just barely but he catches it, and now both of you have a tear streak down your cheek. “Joel, I forgive you. You make me feel safe. Sometimes you even make me forget all the bad shit that’s happened to me. I see how you are with Ellie and Tommy, and me, I guess I know that now. I want to be with you. All of you, every part. I wish I could have met Sarah. I can’t even imagine how much she loved you, Joel but I can feel it.” He kisses you then, slowly, tenderly. He takes a deep breath, and says, “I wish you could have known her; she would have loved you. Ash, baby, I lo-.”
There’s a loud knock at the door and then Ellie’s voice, “JOEL!! ASH!! Open up!” Joel runs to the door as you start to pull your clothes back on. He opens it and Ellie’s breathing heavy like she just ran here, “Knew you’d be here.” She wags her eyebrows at both of you. Joel frowns and grunts out, “Ellie, what’s so damn important?” Ellie’s eyes go wide like she just remembered why she came here in the first place, “Oh yeah, uh, Maria’s in labor.” Joel looks at you with eyes of panic, your mouth opens in shock. After a few seconds you collect yourself and pull on your boot finally fully dressed, “Let’s go, Uncle Joel!” He smiles, giddy, so does Ellie. Joel grabs your hand in his and then the three of you run out of your place to go find Maria and Tommy.
Taglist: @somedayheaven@guelyury@elegantduckturtle@indiegirlunited@cheekychaos28 @ghostofzion @harriedandharassed @missladym1981 @littlemisspascal @brittmb115
Seeing Clearly - Chapter. 10 Patrol
Hi Everyone! Couldn't wait a day longer to give you this next chapter. :)
Chapter Warnings: cursing, angst, talk of body image, smut, violence, blood, - Minors - DNI
Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!OC Plus Size Reader
Chapter Summary: You and Joel go out on patrol, he helps you feel good again. 3K
Thank you to @saradika-graphics for the book line divider. :)
Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9
Chapter 10. Patrol
The next morning you find yourself walking outside the walls of Jackson with Joel Miller. How the hell did this happen? Oh yeah, you asked to be put on patrol, and he said only if it’s with him. Good lord. After the events of last night, you don’t really feel like talking which suits him just fine, you’re sure. But the longer you walk you realize he doesn’t feel as cold as usual. He walks close to you; tells you where you’re going and what’s next. You feel his eyes on you, checking on you. Maybe this is just high-alert Joel, no time to ice you out when your lives are at stake. Okay, fine. You’ll take this over asshole Joel any day.
You make your way to a safe house where you’re to check in and drop off supplies for emergencies when anyone might be stuck out here or finds themselves on their own. It’s basically a studio-sized log cabin. Just a couch, fireplace, bed and kitchen all in one room and a small bathroom. It’s fortified and locked up with padlocks that need codes to open them. Those codes get changed regularly and are only known on a need-to-know basis. If you don’t go on patrol, you don’t know them. Joel and you are to hunker down there for a few hours to keep watch see if there’s any traffic in the area, raiders, clickers or otherwise. You’ve got a walkie which is turned on to a certain channel for emergencies only and so-far, not a peep.
After about an hour keeping watch and feeling like Joel has been sneaking glances at you every other fucking second, you finally speak. “Joel, what the fuck?” He frowns furrows his brow and says, “What?” Right back to you. “Joel, you keep looking at me, what is it?” He sighs, classic fucking Joel. “Look, Ash, you’ve been quiet all day, usually I can’t get you to shut the fuck up.” You scoff and that turns into a breathy laugh, Joel looks at you with a small smirk. “Oh, Joel, you miss the sound of my voice? Is it just too quiet for you,” you say with a sing-song cadence as you walk towards him. Joel rolls his eyes and looks down at you as you approach with a sideways smile, “Let’s not go that far. Just want to make sure you’re alright.” Your breath hitches as he touches your arm and his deep chocolate eyes look into yours and you realize what he’s talking about. “Oh, you mean last night. Yeah, that was… uncool.” You say as you push your hands into your pockets and look away from him.
But then Joel grabs your chin in his fingers so softly, you didn’t know he was capable of being that soft and lightly urges you to look up at him again. “No, that last night, that was bullshit. I mean it. That boy wouldn’t know what do with a woman if he had the chance. He only said that shit because you put him in his place, which he deserved, and he was embarrassed in front of his dumbass buddies.” Joel moves his hand from your chin to your cheek and even though he looks full of anger, none of it is at you and you can’t feel an ounce of it in his touch. Only comfort, only warmth, only genuine care. “You’re right, Joel. And I’ve dealt with it before. It’s something I’m used to, and I don’t let it get to me but there were so many people there last night. I’m not used to having an audience and it just broke me down a little. But I promise, I’m fine. A little bruised but I’ve handled a fuck ton worse.”
Joel, even more angry now, walks over to the window and looks out. “Goddammit, but you shouldn’t have to be used to something like that. It’s fucking bullshit. No one should have the right to talk about your body but you.” You smile and walk over to him. Joel Miller’s a fucking feminist. Will wonders never cease with this man? As you get closer, he continues turning to look at you, “And if ever you allow anyone else to, they should be fucking worshipping you.” You stop dead in your tracks and Joel looks at you like he never has before, with so much want and desire you’re almost scared. He continues, eyes almost black now, “I heard you the other night after we talked at your place. Made the prettiest sounds I’ve ever heard. Were you thinkin’ about me, Darlin’?” Your eyes start to tear but you just blink them back, never taking your eyes off his. “It’s okay, I think about you, too. Know I shouldn’t… but I can’t help myself. Can’t get you outta my head.”
“Joel…” you whisper so quietly. Then Joel interrupts, “S’okay, honey, it’s just me.” Joel sits on the couch and motions for you to sit next to him. Without a thought, you obey. Sitting to his left, you wait to hear what’s next. “You wanna show me, huh? Show me what you did to yourself to make those sounds. Need to hear ‘em again.” You nod, saying nothing. “Okay, go on then, show me.” You hurriedly start to unbutton your jeans and unzip, when Joel says softly, “Slower.” Again, you immediately obey. Slowly pulling at your zipper and making room by pushing your jeans down your thighs a bit and pulling your underwear to the side revealing your already wet folds. Swollen and ready. Joel takes your glasses off and sets them on the table next to him. You hesitate and Joel senses it, “Touch her. She wants it, I can tell.” And your fingers start to caress your sensitive pussy. Slipping through your folds, gathering your slick and moving it around to coat everything in your arousal. You bite your lip to contain a whimper. “There she is. You sound so pretty, you know that?” Joel slurs into your ear and goosebumps breakout all over your neck as you close your eyes. “I think she wants a finger inside, don’t you? Why don’t you give her what she wants,” he says so close this time that your head falls to the side into his nose, and he inhales the scent of your hair.
With Joel’s instruction you take your middle finger and push it inside your entrance with a small gasp. “There you go, oh, good girl. That feels so good, huh? Go on, you can tell me.” With another gasp you whisper, “Yes, Joel. So good.” “Shh, I know,” he says as he pets your hair and runs his right hand down your left arm to your hand that’s splayed on the couch next to your thigh. He takes your hand in his and brings it up to your breast, squeezing it with your hand, using your fingers to pull at the budded nipple through your thin shirt and bra. Once he’s satisfied that you’ll carry on that way on your own he takes his hand and moves it down to where you’re touching yourself. “Can I help? I don’t think your small finger is going to be enough for her.” You nod, whimpering and moaning, your eyes fluttering open and then closed again. You’ve never felt this much pleasure in your life. Where the hell did he come from?
With that, Joel joins your middle finger with his own, much thicker and longer than yours, and the feeling is exquisite. Slowly he moves your hands out and back in making sure to push your palm against your clit as he does. The third time he pushes back in hard and fast making you both moan together. Both your heads rub together, until he pulls away just to watch. “Oh baby, she’s taking us so well. I want you to look,” he says but you can’t seem to move or think. He uses his other hand to hold the back of your neck and position so you can see what he’s watching, just beyond your stomach, you can see both your hands and then both your fingers appear when he pulls back, covered in your slick, then disappear back inside you. “I can tell she’s close baby, you feel her squeezing us?” You look up at him now and he looks right at you. “I’ve got you, faster now.” And he pushes your fingers in and keeps them there, curling your finger with his harder and faster now, more and more pressure. “It’s okay, let go for me, give me what I want, give me your come, come for me, you deserve it. I wanna hear it, I wanna feel it, I wanna see it, please. Look at me,” he commands, and you do and just then your orgasm hits you like a speeding train, “Oh god, Joel, I’m coming, oh god. Ungghhh, Joel.” Your pussy clenches you and Joel’s fingers so tight and spills your juices all over them. Joel stills your fingers inside you as you come back to life, whispering in your ear, “Good girl. Did so good f’me. I’m so proud of you.”
He takes your hand in his after you recover a bit more and takes his finger and puts it to your mouth, you take it in instantly, tasting yourself on him and he surprises you by taking your finger into his own mouth, “I need a taste too,” he says. And as soon as his tongue touches your finger, he makes the deepest moan you’ve ever heard, and you think you could come again just from hearing that. “Fuck, you taste so good, knew you would.” And he leans closer to your mouth, removing his finger and yours licking his lips and looking at your mouth, and you know he’s going to kiss you, something you’ve been missing every moment since that first kiss that morning in your bed at his house.
Skkkrch. “Joel!” The walkie comes to life. “Joel! You need to get back here now.” Maria’s voice comes through the walkie. Joel closes his eyes, his hand still holding yours when he whispers, “Fuck.” Then he’s up responding to the call. “Copy. On our way.” The silence is loud. You start to pull your pants back up and gather your things. “We gotta, I don’t know, we gotta get back,” Joel says with concern for Jackson evident on his face. “Of course, let’s go,” you say as you touch his arm. “Wait,” he says looking around, grabbing your glasses and instead of handing them to you, he unfolds them and places them back on your face gently, and smiles and you think this might be the moment, the moment you fall for Joel fucking Miller.
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As you and Joel enter the gates of Jackson you run into Ellie, who looks panicked. Joel runs straight to her, holding her face, “What is it babygirl? What’s wrong?” Ellie, blinks back tears of relief seeing Joel and squeaks out, “It’s Tommy, he’s okay but he got jumped, he’s home with Maria you need to come there with me now.” Before you can speak Joel grabs your hand in his and pulls you along to Maria and Tommy’s place. When you walk in, Maria is icing Tommy’s busted lip, while he sits at the kitchen table holding another tea towel wrapped in ice on his eye. His arm is also in a sling. Joel stops dead in his tracks, but Tommy speaks first with a bit of a lisp from his injuries, “S’alright Joel, I’m fine, jus’ busted up. Reminds me of the times you picked me up in jail after a bar fight. I’ll survive.”
You squeeze Joel’s hand in reassurance, and he looks at you like he forgot you were with him but gives you a small, relieved smile. He lets go to sit next to Tommy and look at his injuries more closely. Maria motions for you to walk into the next room. “Maria, who did this?” you ask quietly. “It was Ryan,” she says equally as quiet. “Last night, Tommy dealt with Ryan after what he said to you, gave him some shit shoveling duty and extra work as a punishment for his behavior, he didn’t take kindly to it.” As she speaks, you’re filled with a blinding rage. You try to keep your composure and listen. “He snuck up on Tommy and sucker punched him, once Tommy was down, it wasn’t a fair fight. Look, we need to deal with this without Joel, he’ll go too far, we both know that.” Finally, with a measured tone you say, “Where is he? I won’t say anything to Joel, but I’d like to talk to Ryan myself,” Maria looks skeptical. “Are you sure you want to do that? He’s in the holding cell downtown.” You answer almost too quickly, “No problem. I’ll be back by in a bit, tell Tommy I’m sorry.” Before Maria can tell you that this isn’t your fault, you’ve snuck out the door.
Jackson’s holding cells are there to keep people after incidences of violence, theft, or other crimes, while the town decides what to do with them. Whether they are punished or expelled from Jackson altogether. As you walk towards the building where Ryan is being held, your heart hammers in your chest and something you spoke to Joel about less than a week ago comes back into your mind. “I’ve done terrible things.” And you had meant it. After you broke free from your shackles in the raiders camp you were trapped in, you found and hurt every single man you came across in that camp. You used whatever you had on you. At first, it was your teeth, then your fingers and nails. Your thick strong thighs broke a man’s neck. And even when they begged, even when they were the younger men, who were “just doing what they were told”, you didn’t stop. You didn’t want to stop. After two years of being beaten, raped, tortured, mentally and verbally abused, you wanted to take control, you wanted to harm.
Ryan sitting there, locked in a cage, with a chair, his arms in handcuffs at his back. Some prisoner. You never had a chair. He didn’t seem to have a scratch on him, just a busted knuckle on his right hand. He hurt Tommy. Tommy was Joel’s brother, Maria’s husband, and your friend. He was family to you, and someone hurt him. That’s enough. A few people were standing watch. A couple of young women, Amy and Beck, who you’ve seen around town, regulars on patrol, and a slightly older man that was with Ryan at the table that night at the Bison. The one who smacked him when Ryan said those hateful things about you. “Bill,” he offers, nodded at you knowingly. “Could I have a moment with him?” The man instructs the women to take a break. He opens the cell for you and says quietly, “I’m here if you need but I won’t hear a thing.” You’re thankful for that.
Ryan looks up at you and laughs, “Come to kiss and makeup sweetheart.” You walk over and you can see the fear in his eyes when he gets a good look at you. Leaning in, you grab his pinkie and breaking it in one snap. “Ugh fuck, get off me bitch, Bill you see this?!” Bill stands there completely silent, and you finally speak. “You think he’s gonna help you, Ryan? He’s not gonna do shit. You got your little feelings hurt and you took it out on Tommy, well…Tommy’s my family. You hurt him, which means I can hurt you, the only difference is, I’m a lot more creative than you. You want to know all the ways a man can feel pain? How long a man can survive after a vein is opened? We can test that if you like. They didn’t want Joel to know it was you who did that to Tommy, they’re worried about what he might do to you, but they weren’t worried about me. They should have been.” In that moment you took one hand and racked your nails down the side of his face, tearing into his soft flesh, drawing a scream and blood from his face. Then you moved your mouth to his ear, speaking softly. “You’re going to leave Jackson, and in a few days, I’ll come looking so you better get as far away as you can. Go fast little boy, really fast or who knows what kind of thing I’ll get up to.” And you take a bite out of Ryan’s right ear as he screams again, and you spit it back into his face wiping the blood off your mouth on his shoulder.
Bill stands by as you leave, locks up and asks you to send the women back in. When you turn the corner wiping the blood off your glasses, Ellie is standing there looking absolutely mesmerized. Shit. “Ellie, you didn’t see anything or hear anything and we’re not speaking of this again,” you say as you keep walking past her. Outside you gesture to Amy and Beck and they walk back in, Ellie runs up to your side. She’s grinning like a little psycho and you speak again, “Ellie, stop, that wasn’t good or aspirational, you need to chill.” Ellie finally speaks, “That was fucking awesome, and he deserved it. I didn’t hear everything you said but shit, that dude was scared out of his mind, so it must have been good.” You look at Ellie and say plainly, “It was nothing, he was weak, anything would scare him. Don’t tell Joel. Or anyone for that matter.” Before you get too far, Ryan is begging to be let out of the gates, being guided by Bill. And you trust that you won’t have to deal with Ryan ever again.
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Seeing Clearly - Chapter 9. The Bison
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday! Enjoy a little bit of Jealous Joel today :)
Chapter Warnings: cursing, angst, alcohol consumption, negative talk about body image (not by Joel) - Minors - DNI
Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!OC Plus Size Reader
Chapter Summary: A night at the Tipsy Bison brings you closer to Joel and his family. 2.3K
Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8
Chapter 9. The Tipsy Bison
You have your first patrol with Joel in the morning. It’s weird, feeling excited and nervous at the same time. You want to feel like you’re contributing but it’s scary beyond the walls and you didn’t realize how much you’ve started to familiarize with the comfort that Jackson brings. On the other hand, you feel similarly conflicting feelings about seeing your patrol partner. Joel Fucking Miller. He’s under your skin. He’s made you feel safe, made you feel alive, but he's also pulled the rug out from under you, abandoned you, and hurt you. And after last night when he came to your room, open and honest, you let him right back in. He’s so infuriating. He’s funny and warm and fucking sexy and then he’s cold, mean, detached. It’s like fucking whiplash.
As you wrestle with all these thoughts inside the dining hall, Maria notices you. “Ash, hey, you okay? She asks softly, not wanting to startle you. You meet her gaze and realize everything you’d been thinking is written all over your face. God, why am I like this? “Hi Maria, I’m fine, just nervous about patrol. Not to say that I’m not up for it, it’s fine just a little anxious that’s all.” You say this all very quickly, not wanting her to think you’re weak. Maria puts her hand on your shoulder lightly, its oddly so comforting in this moment. She’s really got that motherly instinct watching her other hand rub her belly. “Hey, listen, it’s fine to be nervous, I get nervous every time Tommy goes out. It’s incredibly brave of you to volunteer to go out there, especially so soon after arriving here. How about we go for a drink at the Bison, I’ll be your DD and make sure you get home safe,” she laughs. “Sure, that sounds good, Maria, thanks.” You smile at her, finishing up your food and clearing your table before walking with her across the street to the Bison.
Maria and You have been talking for the better part of an hour now and you’ve learned so much about her. That she used to be a District Attorney, okay – go off, that she’s been in Jackson since its beginning, and even that she lost her son in all the madness of the end of the world. You can’t believe how open and blunt she is, she doesn’t mince words, she’s tough but still loving, and she’s an instant friend, you know that now. The two of you are cackling when Tommy and Joel walk in together. Tommy with a million-watt smile starts laughing as he walks up to the two of you. “Ladies, what’s got you all in stiches’ this evenin’. You know, my wife shouldn’t be drinking right now,” he says to you, smirking. Maria trying to contain her laughter, “Honey, it’s not my fault, Ash is just that funny.” Tommy gives her a kiss and responds, “Well, I’m happy to see you two hit it off so well, right, Joel?” Joel, who is standing awkwardly and looking around the bar huffs, “Yeah, sure.” Maria says, “Well, come on, join us!”
Joel and Tommy, both join you at the table for four Tommy next to Maria and Joel next to you, as Joel speaks quietly to you, “We’ve got patrol in the morning, I don’t want to be dealing with your hangover tomorrow,” eyeing the whiskey in your glass. You scoff as you push your glasses up nose, “Oh be quiet, Dad, it’s my second glass in over an hour, I’ll be fine.” Tommy and Maria share a knowing look and try to contain their laughter as Joel glares at them. “Fine, but don’t complain to me when you’ve got a headache tomorrow.” You roll your eyes dramatically, down the rest of your drink and stand up, “I’m off to get another drink anyone want anything?” Joel stares at you and you stare at him. Tommy finally speaks up, “I’ll go with you.” Still staring at Joel like you’re daring him to say something, you begin to walk off toward the bar with Tommy in tow.
As you wait for your drinks Tommy clears his throat, great here it comes, “Listen, Ash, I know Joel can be a bit uptight,” at this you laugh through a scoff. He continues, “Look, I know he’s a lot, but he means well.” “Does he?” you start to speak but Tommy stops you, “All I’m asking is that you give him a break. It’s obvious he cares about you.” At this your eyes flick to Tommy’s in shock, he tries his best to contain the upturn of his lip. “When I told him about you volunteerin’ for patrol, he lost his shit, and not because you can’t handle yourself, we all know better than that. He was worried. I know he’s got a shit way of showin’ it, but you mean somethin’ to him. And if you give him time, I promise he’ll come around.” You nod, looking away to find Joel, but while Maria is chatting with a woman passing by the table, Joel is starring fucking daggers at someone. You follow his gaze to find, ugh, no, Brad or wait, Ryan. And Ryan, is looking right at you smiling with his table full of bro buddies.
Thankfully your drinks arrive then, and you grab them and walk back to the table. Trying to ignore Ryan and his pals as you walk past. Sitting down with your drink and Joel’s matching one you ask Joel, “Who popped your balloon?” He looks at you, confused and Tommy laughs. You’re smirking at Joel and his eyes betray him, like they always do and soften as he shakes his head, “It’s nothin’,” smiling slightly. He goes to sip his whiskey, and you watch his mouth, god his lips are beautiful. Pouty, soft, perfect. You can remember how they felt on you. Your mouth parts as you watch him, totally entranced. Then you realize Maria is talking to you. You look over at her and Tommy who are looking at you with sly little smiles, and you know you’re caught. Joel, thankfully oblivious, asks the two of them, “What is going on, why are ya’ll acting so fuckin’ weird?” You swallow and before anyone can say anything, Ryan comes over to the table with a stupid grin on his dumb face. His friends pretending not to watch whatever is about to go down.
“Ash, hey, Tommy, Maria,” he nods to both then looks at Joel, “uh, Joel.” Tommy and Maria nod back at Ryan but they look at you and Joel, noticing how you look unimpressed, and Joel looks like he might take Ryan’s head off. Tommy stiffens, bracing for impact. Ryan turns back to you, putting his hand on the table near you and leaning in, he says, “It’s good to see you, you look great,” eyes grazing up and down your form. Joel then puts his arm around the back or your chair. You notice it and look back at him but he’s looking right at Ryan. “Look, I was wondering if you’d want to get a drink with me sometime.” He looks back at his friends with a grin as if he’s got this in the bag. You start to speak, and Joel finally looks at you, seems like he’s holding his breath, you look back at Ryan. “That’s really nice of you but I’m not really interested right now. But thank you.” Ryan and Joel’s eyes both go wide but Ryan looks shocked, and Joel looks pleased. You hear a chuckle from Ryan’s table of dudes, but they’ve all looked away at this point. Ryan puts on a fake smile, but his eyes look filled with anger. “No problem, sweetheart, you have a good night.” His hand grips the table hard and then let’s go to walk back to his table, punching one of his friends in the arm that laughed at him and mumbles something to the group.
You look back to the table and Tommy and Maria are grinning at you. “What?” you say looking at them. But Joel speaks up first, “Nothin’, don’t mind them. You two,” scowling at Tommy and Maria, “mind your business.” Tommy and Maria exchange a look and small smiles as they go back to talking about something to do with the town council. And you look at Joel, a small smile on your lips, thankful that he took the attention away from you. He waits till Tommy and Maria aren’t paying attention, he looks to you and gives you a subtle wink, bringing his drink back to his lips. Your stomach flips and you hope you don’t look too flustered. For the rest of the evening, Joel never takes his arm off the back of your chair.
At the end of that third drink, you decide it’s time to go home. This being one of the nicest nights you’ve had since you arrived, spending time with your most favorite people and actually seeing Joel smile and laugh in between his eyerolls and sighs. You trot off to the bathroom before leaving and as you walk back, you catch Ryan scowling at you. It appears he’s had a bit too much to drink at this point. Loudly he speaks to his table saying, “I didn’t want the fat bitch anyway, was just curious what it would feel like, don’t even know how she keeps that weight on.” A couple of the friends at his table laugh, two others look uncomfortable, one man, a few years older than the rest, smacks Ryan on the shoulder, admonishing his behavior. Then you look around, stopped in your tracks and realize that everyone is looking at you, at your body. And you know that almost everyone heard what that asshole had to say. It’s not his words that hurt, it’s the attention they bring to you, the questioning looks from everyone else that make tears prick at your eyes.
Joel is already walking over to you, Tommy, close behind. Joel touches your arm and speaks lowly, “You good?” You nod, eyelids fluttering to try and keep your tears at bay. He looks up at Ryan, but you whisper to him, quiet but firm, “Joel, don’t. It’s not worth it.” Joel exhales out his nose, clearly fuming. But he nods and starts to walk you out the door, not before giving Tommy a look, silently asking him to handle it with Ryan. Maria comes up to your side linking her fingers with yours, Joel still has a steady arm around your shoulder. You turn your head into Maria’s shoulder as your tears start to fall. Maria says, “I got it from here Joel.” He looks like he might protest but he lets you go. Watching as Maria walks you toward your apartment.
By the time you get home, Maria makes you some sleepy time tea, insisting on talking a bit more before leaving you on your own. You’ve had this conversation before, with others. You’ve exhausted this topic over the course of your life, Before and After. But now, with Maria’s deep and beautiful eyes, your new friend, looking at you, you know she’s genuinely there for you. So, you start explaining how ever since puberty you’ve always been a larger person. Bigger than most of your friends. Plush, fat, curvy, plus size, however you want to put it. Men pointing it out to you, women much smaller than you telling you they admire you. Losing a tiny bit of weight and having a girlfriend call you skinny. You haven’t been “skinny” since you were fucking 10 years old. And now, at the end of the world, where people are starving, and you have to move your body to survive, you still have extra weight. It became something that kept people from trusting you. Thinking you stole food, or you didn’t do your part. You thought Jackson might be different. But tonight, all those feelings come back. And even though you love your body, and had lovers over the years, men and women, who showed you how much they liked your body and the effect it had on them, you still feel inadequate or that people may find you unattractive. You’re not proud that those thoughts still get to you, but they do.
When you feel you’ve gotten it all out, you take your glasses off and put your head down on the table next to your cup of tea and start laughing. Maria puts a hand on your head in it a comforting pet. And you raise back up. “Well, now you know this about me. It’s funny, I’ve survived over 20 years of a zombie apocalypse and I’m still fucking struggling with body image issues. Jesus.” Maria smiles at you now. A soft, sweet smile. She knows there’s nothing to say. There never is. This is a reality for you, and you just need to talk it out with someone you trust, and damn you really do trust Maria. She leaves you with a hug by the door and you assuring her you’ll be fine to do patrol tomorrow, “Getting out might actually be good for me.” You finally go to bed that night thinking of Joel, the wink, his arm on your chair, that he seems to detest Ryan even more than you do. It makes you smile, and you can’t help but hope Joel doesn’t see you the same way Ryan does. You know Joel would never behave like Ryan but it’s a fact that people have their preferences. And maybe that’s why Joel pushed you away in the first place. Fuck. Well, now you’re not nervous for patrol, you just want to get through the fucking day.
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