seen from United Kingdom
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seen from United Kingdom
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Oh, the irony of telling my friend how I hadn’t had a cluster in months, and then coming home and feeling a cluster coming on...
The real clue was how I had just finished painting my nails when a bigger-than-others-recently seizure came. I get back, and the bottle’s sitting neatly but I’m still holding the cap/brush, the polish is ruined on 2 fingers, and there’s a big stripe of polish up my neck. Alas.
I took a lorazepam, and I guess now I’ll chill here and do art.
I’m like 90% sure yesterday should have been my cluster for the month, and it never came! Yaaay!
CBD cluster feels
Me: I had a cluster last week
My well-meaning but oblivious dad: Did you take that CBD oil I gave you?
Me: No, I was having a cluster.
Dad: Well, train yourself to take the CBD too!
Me: So, it took me years to remember to take my seizure meds reliably during a cluster. (Describes what remembering to take lorazepam during a cluster is like.)
Dad: Oh wow, that’s hard hon.
Me: Yeah, so taking the CBD oil once during a cluster isn’t likely to happen soon. [he gave me one dose. oy.]
Dad: Yeah, I get it.
Me: Thanks. I’m feeling better though. What’s up with you? (conversation etc)
ugh I went to visit my mom today and then started having absences and like... super-absences (where I sort of half-drop my body, and drop all my shit, and stuff) and it went on for like hours because I didn’t think of meds, I just kept swiping the vns like a dumbass who forgets that she has lorazepam on her exactly for this, jesuschris
so now I’m really sleep and its hours after the lorazepam and I feel woozyn and easily confused and am not very good at holding more than one thought in my head at once and.. I will probably sounds a bit like On th Road by Jack Kerouac by the end of this, complete with pills and long drive.
We took a long drive on the road (!!!! :D) to visit my mom and see a museum near her as it closed. V. nice art, which we saw for like 25 minutes before it closed. Oh well.
My mother gave my sister and I all the ingredients for a full St Patty’s Day corned beef and cabbage, bc she is sure that without her assistance we shall perish away into nothingness.
I do appreciate food. Overall, good trip. Upcoming is the trip where I teach her how to use a smart phone.
(The curriculum? Transferring contacts to smartphone, how to send texts, how to use the maps stuff, how to set alarms and timers, maybe even get her an app or two. She’s ripe for jelly crush.)
Appreciation post for Goober, who gets woken up when I have a middle of the night cluster and still manages to be sympathetic and go to work and be a functioning human being at the end of the day.
You’re awesome.
Clusters blow
Argh, had a cluster last week. It’s been so long that I kind of forgot how much they suck- I have regular seizures, but I’ve missed the last few months’ clusters (they’re hormonal) so I got a rest.
Alas. Working through that lorazepam, bit by bit.
Still, I’m not going back up on that med. If it means I go back to my “one cluster a month” pattern for a while, well so be it. I’m hoping the VNS does its thing and becomes more effective with time, so the return of monthly clusters is a temporary thing.
*crossing fingers*
Going off one of my meds; A terrible suggestion
I took my last vimpat today. This evening and the rest of the week/month I’ll be adjusting to a vimpat-free body, which I haven’t had since... 2014? I’m still on two other meds, but we’re trying to go down a bit since the VNS is doing its thing pretty well.
I saw the VNS nurse last week and told him I’ve been having more seizures this month, which is true. I spent Saturday sleeping off a cluster. Hopefully once I’ve stabilized on no-vimpat it will go back to as good as it was.
I really don’t want to go back on vimpat. Two daily meds + four daily vitamins is enough for me.
What about you? Adjusted your meds recently? Want to? Blow my mind with how many vitamins you take.
Also: Whenever I end up with a bunch of differently-colored pills (at the moment they’re just white and shades of pink) I want to make a mosaic of them. I just think it would be pretty.
Ever done it? Share pics! (But leave a few in the bottom of each bottle so you don’t forget what color pill goes in which container. That part’s important.)
fuckin had a cluster yesterday and went to the gym and worked today and just like I’m here? But i’ve been fucking out of it all day too. Like, my skin is slightly bigger than my body or something- I haven’t quiiite touched anything I’ve come into contact with.
I mentioned to work that I’d had a pretty ‘mixed’ weekend, and they guessed it was health, but I told them I’d checked myself over a bit and felt fine to come in with the crew and run the after school program. These guys are so sweet.
(I really hope my next job is this understanding)
>.<
