I’ve been thinking about this for a couple weeks now. My old girlfriend reached out to me not too long ago. It was strange to say the least but strangely enough I found myself in sort of a weird thought process behind the situation. She told me that she has been dreaming of me recently and that she’s sorry for the way things ended between us. I told her it was fine and to not beat herself up over something that happen so long ago.
But deep down inside I know I’m still hurt about that relationship. I spent five years of my life trying to be a with someone whom,what it felt like, didn’t care about the effort I was putting into the relationship. I’ve done more harm to myself after we split up and I’ve made my life incredibly difficult. I’ve done wrong to others as well. I guess a part of me did die with her. The part that has patience, the part that wants to do better before worse, and the part whom takes consideration for others before myself.
I’ve become selfish and crude with my movements. And I don’t blame but I thank her for that. Maybe I needed to get to know this part of myself before I can properly love someone again.
It’s been difficult trying to have a relationship now. And I have noted that although I am trying hard to understand someone again that I have to relearn how to respect myself and my significant other.
I hope you don’t feel bad about what you did or how you did it. I’m glad you left when you did. I didn’t deserve to hurt you or you hurt me. Things could of got really bad but let’s just hope we both enjoyed all the time we spent apart. And that we continue to do so.
