Nov 28- China Myth Buster 2: Chinese Girls Are Easy
It seems rather unnatural for a woman of my age to not write on the topic of love life. So in this MB post, I will address the age-old question: are Chinese girls easy?
For the past 3 years, this post has accumulated 21,000 views, and has continuously been the most read post on the Beijinger, the active expat web community with 200,000 registered users. (I hope to write on the Beijinger later. It is a fascinating place, an integral and inseparable portion of your life in Beijing—for better or for worse.) “Why are Chinese girls so easy to ‘you-know-what?’” OP is so curious as to why he gets so much more than he would at home. Hold your horses there, though. When did “Chinese girls are easy” become a fact?
Like the MB1 post, I think we should first ask which Chinese people we are talking about. Most of the men who tell me “Chinese girls are easy” have a few things in common, which isn’t a random sample. Perhaps they missed Statistics 1 in college.
Where do most expat men and Chinese women meet? Majority of the times, they meet in Sanlitun bar street. Or the clubs near Gongti. Or similar venues in Wudaokou, the college town. I don’t think this sampling of girls is very random. Most people go to these areas looking to have fun. Alcohol is involved and inhibitions are lowered. Unless one went to bars every night and lived in the bar district back in U.S., comparing two experiences would be unfair. The correct conclusion to draw should be “girls you meet at bars are easy” not “Chinese girls are easy.”
Forbidden Fruit/ Catholic School Girl Effect
Remember your first drink? Were you legal? Probably not. I’m sure the lack of legality made it extra rewarding and exhilarating. This is human nature. We want things we can’t have. Do I really have to write more clichés?
Hooking up, especially one-night stands, is not an honorable thing in traditional culture. (Side note—I find China to be a lot less strict than Korea probably because 1. Chinese students move out from home when they go to University and 2. the one child policy makes everyone be more responsible.) Interracial/ intercultural relationship is another tantalizing forbidden fruit. So being promiscuous with a western guy is naturally a thrilling idea.
Many western males have Chinese girlfriends. I daresay most do. The girlfriends live with them, cook for them, care for them, and clean for them. My friends boast to me about this “live-in nanny/girlfriend” option as if they are getting a bargain I’m missing out on. These relationships are so common that it fuels the myth of Chinese girls having low standards. I must admit these relationships are a bit weird. But it’s neither foreign nor novel. One party provides the income and the other looks after the house.
Another common form of relationship is the “language partner” type. The western male may enjoy the fact that he can be emotionally detached and independent and still reap the benefits with a “language partner” relationship. But this give-and-take isn’t a Chinese concept. It’s just two people filling each other’s needs. Some Chinese girls want to learn English, and some western males want girls with minimum effort. It’s just comparative advantage.
I hope I shed some light on the love life in Beijing, where East and West blend with a sprinkle of hormones. I do not think all relationships consist of cut and dry factors listed above. I’ve seen true love in Beijing. However, propagating a skewed assumption that “Chinese girls are easy” without bothering to understand the complexities in the equation worries me.