Substance in the stillness
"We continually judge ourselves for the things that we DON’T do rather than looking at all that we DID do. "
We live in a time where perpetual activity is celebrated. There is a sense that a person always needs to be on the go, doing this activity, working on this thing, moving from this idea to the next. Stillness is rarely celebrated. And while we can see that there has been a shift in the collective consciousness towards mindfulness and living in the now, the undertone of that message is often telling us that mindfulness will ultimately make us more productive and better focused for the many tasks in our lives. True stillness, the kind that doesn’t require timers, apps or reminders is totally undervalued.
If we have a minute to ourselves and do absolutely nothing within that time frame, we feel like we wasted precious time. We tell ourselves that we could have used that minute to finish a project or complete a chore. We judge and criticize ourselves for not being better about time management and vow to never make the same mistake again. All of this constant running of our minds, emotions and bodies make us more susceptible to not only physical ailments like a weakened immune system but emotional ailments like anxiety and depression as well.
Life has an ebb and flow. Nature does not rush. Could you imagine what life would be like if we rushed from season to season based on the whims of Mother Nature? Everything would be chaotic. Today we could be wearing shorts and a t-shirt, tomorrow long pants with a wool jacket, knit cap and leather gloves. You would feel frustrated every morning you got out of bed to get dressed because you would never know what weather pattern was going to greet you. Fortunately Mother Nature gives us a grace period as the seasons change.
Our human ebb and flow is a bit more chaotic than Mother Nature’s. We live on such extreme ends of the spectrum on any given moment in our day, which is why we end up burned out by five p.m. and running on fumes till eight or nine. Ask yourself, what is my personal rhythm? What would my day look like if I moved through it without force? Deep down you know the things that are important and need your attention versus the things that you can allow to fall by the wayside. Whatever isn’t pressing will get done when it needs to. Focus on the things that are important and let go of the things that aren’t.
This is a big hurdle for many of us. Not passing judgment on yourself for sitting and doing noting when you could have been finishing the laundry or writing that email will be a huge test. We continually judge ourselves for the things that we DON’T do rather than looking at all that we DID do. Your time is just that, YOUR time. Setup your day in a way that works best for you. To say that you’ve wasted time is a heavy statement. Shift your focus. Look at the things that you have accomplished or completed. If you notice gaps in your day when your energy isn’t so high and you slow down a bit, adjust your day so that you are not trying to be productive in those moments. Use the downtime to your advantage. Take that time to complete the mindless tasks that require the least amount of energy on your part.
And if there is something that you weren’t able to complete in a day, ask yourself if you are able to push it back and get it done at a later date. If there is another person involved in the task that you need to complete, simply be straightforward and let that person know that you need more time. You’ll be surprised at how accommodating others can be when you speak up for yourself. This will also help to alleviate any residual judgment and stress you may be carrying. Occasionally our personal judgment can come from external sources and the expectations we believe they are harboring toward us. Release the judgment.
With enough practice over time you will find that stillness is essential. Stillness helps you to see the bigger picture. If you spend all of your time focused on the details you loose the broader perspective of the story that is you. So give yourself some grace, go with your flow and simply be.
