#self collaring

[b-brightlee]

officially self collaring has been really lovely and helpful so far and i wish i was able to find other people talking about their experience with it

[conceptsformyowner]

what if, in my self collaring, i was by default forbidden from spending the night on beds? or sleeping on my bed in general? and had to be given permission specially to do so? (after behaving extra well or as a general reward)

i live alone, which makes it so much more degrading

the bed would always be there but not meant for me. To also remind me not to think of this as my appartment but as simply the place where I'm kept captive

My committee would then have a very easy way to take care of me whenever I might feel bad, simply allowing me to use the bed (not without significant bondage of course, so I don't forget it's a special occasion and doesn't change where I truly beling) to sleep in for a night.

its very tempting...and would help incentivize me to clean the floor more often hsha

if I had a cage i could "comfortably" lie down on straight I would 100% add this rule instantly without second thought

[demeteruntouched]

When I don't have a Dominant I feel lost.

I felt it today when I walked in the Paris rain, beneath the white sky I used to feel you watch me from — beneath the place where, when I was a child, I used to tell myself I felt a god.

Holding my umbrella, straightening my back, relaxing my shoulders — correcting my posture — I felt the pain of knowing no one was watching.

My body hurt from spending the days learning carpentry. I bought an electric piano and I built a stand with pine, sanded smooth, stained dark brown — I learned to do these things, and my discipline helped me — and I showed my father, and I showed you, but there is no one now who can give me the approval I need to rest.

I remember how my body used to hurt, from the way you touched me, from my chronic illness, from standing in your kitchen when I barely had the energy to stand, making dinner for you, because I was already suffering and I needed only for it to mean something, for it to nourish you.

Last night, and the night before, I saw you, with our friends, and you were nice to me, and you wanted to be my friend. You gave me no commands. I did not look to you for them. You gave me no place to be grounded. I know that I have none. Only — you were nice to me.

Today I walked with a headache in the Paris rain, and I didn't cry, and above me was the white sky full of no one at all.

[demeteruntouched]

Cycling through Paris after midnight, my leather skirt hiked up, my thighs exposed, my back and arms uncovered, my breasts framed beautifully. My newly chestnut-coloured hair blowing freely behind me.

The Dominant within me murmurs: I am proud to see her displayed like this. She's mine. I have made her beautiful. You won't ever touch her.

Each streetlight moves across my skin. I am taking her home. I'm going to chain her to my bed. I will protect her, always.

[demeteruntouched]

I bought my first collar and leash this weekend. Focusing now on my commitment to myself.

There is nothing like waking in the night with a sleep mask over my eyes, a chain preventing me from rolling over, and feeling my body surrender and fall back to sleep.

[demeteruntouched]

During my last relationship, I knelt at the foot of the bed every morning. I returned to sit there every time I felt overwhelmed. My former Dominant -- so much like a parent to me, and I know how bitterly I have written in recent weeks, such is the pain of all that passed, and such was her importance -- had suggested being by my side until I found the right person for my heart.

This evening, Austen novel in hand, thinking of this person who now has inspired me to read it -- to read something of huge significance, arriving at a significant moment, to rise to its total height -- I find myself at the foot of the bed, weeping into the linen she once dared me to ruin.

I think, I hope, I have now found someone I would consider letting in. Someone I would consider letting in to a heart I had kept tightly closed for years. Though I can barely look toward the head of the bed, though I feel overwhelmed with pain and fear and humility when I do, I am grateful that she led me here.

[conceptsformyowner]

Self collared rules system - version 1

Ok here's what I'm thinking

I have 7 daily tasks and one weekly. They're some basic survival and hygiene self-care things, but that I usually struggle to do on my own.

Each time I complete one I get a point.

At the end of the week (I'll talk about when that is in a moment), I'll then have some amount of points accumulated from a possible maximum of 50.

So that day, I'll have (accumulated points) / 50 chance of having an orgasm.

The day where I do the random throw and potentially get the orgasm permission is on saturday. I usually meet up with partners on the weekend so this is perfect for if they want to enact punishments/rewards themselves

What I like about this system is that

I still get a pretty good chance of orgasm even if I don't do things perfect. Perfection isn't the goal and doing 90% of the things right shouldn't be cause of punishment.

Having a point system opens the door to people potentially being able to award or deduct points depending on other things. For example I could say that people are able to give me points freely but I'm forbidden to ask for them. As for whether they can deduct points, I'm still thinking about that. I don't want anyone to deduct points whenever they want just because. I might do some limited list of reasons they can deduct points for? Maybe have someone else also agree to it? Should i make some kind of co-ownership certificate i give to people who can do these kind of things? slunds fun but tangential, anyways

I don't know how well I'll handle the denial but I'll be trying out this system starting next week. Tell me what you think!

[noctumuttx]

now I'm divided between using the improvised chain collar I own, or maybe making a brand new one... a new commitment to the man I wanna become.

but that's the thing – I don't know what I can come up with. a chain collar with a lock? a chain bracelet? a subtle leather collar? I wanna do it until I get collared by someone...

crap what should I do?? 🫠