#self esteem stuff

[theyganona]

trying to move my body and stay motivated to move my body bcs i am very out of shape and unhealthy and feel awful all the time and like i’m way too young to be losing this much mobility…but holy shit doing like a hot 15 on a treadmill with relatively low incline and speed put me in actual fucking pain. like my lower back was burning so much that it made me a little lightheaded by the end. and i want so badly to be able to give myself grace and remind myself that it will get better with time as long as i keep doing my best to move but i cannot help but to literally dog on myself for letting it get this bad. for rotting in bed for most of my teen years but especially the majority of my twenties so far and just???

idk.

trying every day to love myself and the body that i’m in no matter what state it’s in. trying not to buy into the idea that i need to be small in order to be worthy. but i hate myself a lot. i have no self esteem. i think i look worse than i have ever looked before and i’m terrified that everyone thinks i’m so disgusting and ugly and lazy. i wish it was easy to want to take care of myself. i wish it was second nature like it seems to be for so many other people. but everything feels like such an uphill battle that i have to fight for to get any basic consistency.

this is just a ramble atp. i just wish things were easier. and i loved myself more. and that walking didn’t cause me so much pain rn because i want to do it and i want to be better but it hurts a lot and i don’t know my limits.

[space-spoon]

just watching a video about barbie

and I just want to say, it's not barbie (or any doll) that makes me upset about my body it's other people telling me my body sucks. other people saying that my body isn't pretty and I need to be like barbie to be pretty.

it's not barbie's fault it's our culture changing the ideal body type almost constantly and making it very clear if you are not that you are "ugly" and "evil".

idk it's annoying for people to blame one thing when it's really so many things.

sorry for ramblin

[sylvanfreckles]

I keep thinking "I just need someone to say I'm doing good, I've gotten over so much already, I'm on the right path"

But you know? People have said that.

I just need to remember them. Someone, lots of someones, has already told me I'm doing good. I just need to listen for those voices and not my own thought distortions.

[jeditrix]

‪when people compliment my mustache I can never tell if they're being serious or not ??‬

[hellsatmyfeet]

Avoiding mirrors today because I know the mental image I have of myself is much better than my true presentation.

[ked-r]

does anyone think I'm cute or have a crush on me??????

[katherinewhatever]

finished a show tonight and i’ve already been feeling like my acting skills really suck and why am I even doing this, along with feeling like crap about everything else in my life

and then the other actress in my play accidentally read aloud a text where her friend said something like “you were the best actor on that stage!” or something and putting down us, the other two actors and it just

lets kick me while i’m down shall we

[akutatchi-moved]

I loved your amon//eki stuff! I didn't know you didn't want us to reblog it though because in the past you said you never wanted it to be? I'm sorry ;;; I would've reblogged all of it

mostly because it was nsfw stuff and i know how a lot of people feel...less inclined to reblog it, u know, WHICH I GET but like i got really discouraged for awhile bc i mean i put a lot of effort into that stuff only to get pty likes but i mean hey dont sweat it anon! its nice to know you liked my stuff ;u;a