#self example

[lamed-moon]

I do usually feel more at home during retrograde motion... but this is a lot to swim through.

Later this fall, dear impetuously backwards Mars, will conjunct my natal Sun + Mercury Rx (again). Then oppose my natal Jupiter Rx (again). 

And then.... back again!AGAIN!!! babyyyyYYYyyy

to go over and see them all directly once more. Ooft and

Oy. 

I think I’m beginning to see feel how retrogradation within the mutable signs does fully rock my boat due to the overemphasis of the double-bodied signs represented in my chart. 

- Venus went retrograde in Gemini back in 2020 and that’s when I glued myself into this (red-flag-filled) relationship I moved across the country for 

[a sappy and eager-to-Nest Venus Rx in the 4H, rose-colored glasses 4sure]

- I am currently in the midst of physically leaving and potentially returning to the same exact apartment I was in prior to this place. Gotta DIP, it is Not Good here and I need to leave much sooner than I initially thought!

[Mars Rx in the 4H if I ever did see it !!!!].

- Entered a hypomanic episode during much of Virgo season and that is definitely when the emotional processing happened (love you Mars + Moon). There seems to be a pattern of having a Very Horny Virgo Season for me in general however this time it was even more heavy-handed during Mercury’s retrograde back into Virgo in September, that’s for sure. Most of that was pretty fun at least lol.

- Right before Mercury stationed retrograde in Libra, transit Venus was conjunct my Mars at the same time that Mars in Gemini, still transiting his first decan, opposed my Jupiter Rx. It was so difficult for me to slow my body down, to eat, to sleep. One of the many scars I recklessly induced upon myself include a physical cut to my eyebrow from bending down too quickly and smashing my face on a table corner. One of the spiritual scars was a very Yuck sexual experience that tainted the slutting around I was so excited to be jumping back into post breakup.

- Once direct in Libra and directly opposite transit Jupiter Rx, almost back in Pisces (love you Saturn + ASC), that’s when I kicked a cabinet so hard my slipper got caught in the cracked panel. The stimulus being that my ex ate my food without asking, but the real reason I got angry was Everything Boiling Over that’d been under review since the *civil breakup*. I no longer felt civil in that moment. Hoping I’ll be done fixing the cupboard by the time I move out.. I don’t usually break things. 

- Most recently, during this likely long catalogue of mutable moments during Mars’ transit, my boot got caught on the pedal while trying to brake resulting in a (minor) car accident the day after Mars stationed Rx last week. I no longer have a front bumper. 

Everything is breaking physically right now. 

Maybe there is a little lesson in looking back to that Venus Rx in Gemini two and half years ago... Maybe I was breaking some emotional promises to myself while I ignored those flags and nestled in anyways. I’m gonna simmer with that for a bit...

I cannot wait until March. 

[passionframework]

Leadership

Leadership is inbuilt and you can show a way in a simple way for others to follow

Rob ‘why did this leader fail?’

Rickson ‘because he was a manager and not a leader’

Rob ‘what is the difference?’

Rickson ‘Managers demand respect, leaders demand nothing, they lead by self example’

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[adigitalmagician]

I guess I am misunderstanding what self-diagnosis is if it isn't researching symptoms and concluding that one has that specific illness without the aid of a doctor?

Researching a problem and taking it to a doctor isn't self diagnosis because you're literally relying on the doctor to make the diagnosis. Taking information from a doctor and identifying patterns for them to use isn't self diagnosis, since the doctor is doing their job of checking for symptoms and having you confirm or deny.

Healthy health care SHOULD be the doctor's expertise and your experience working together to figure things out.

As I mentioned before, my claim of ADHD? Totally self diagnosed. I'm not taking drugs, but I'm a shoe in on the symptom list, and have a number of people familiar with the disorder who have commented that my behavior and explanations of my experience match.

This kind of self dx is pretty healthy because:

I'm not trying to claim having an official diagnosis is a bad thing.

I would accept a psych telling me it's something different.

I'm using the information to operate around the weirdness.

But you know what kind of self dx isn't healthy? My undiagnosed depression. I really NEED to see a doctor about that. Because I had a therapist basically peg my depression symptoms but not give me a diagnosis, I'm pretty sure I've got it, but here's the thing: When a depression episode hits, I literally lose the ability to function. Laying in bed for days. Or my 4 days of borderline suicidal ideation. It's dangerous and I SHOULDN'T be sitting on a self dx.

So that's the big difference: Self dx doesn't have a doctor involved, period. The point of the doctor is to take the information you provide either through interview, observation, or you info dumping them, and provide professional diagnosis of the problem.

And a post script:

I realize not everyone can make it to a doctor. I realize it's difficult and expensive and especially in the US our system is fucked the hell up.

But that doesn't mean I think we should just go to self diagnosis, I think we should fix the system and give more people access to trained professionals who are up to date on their field.