The new girl arrived in the middle of June, shaking and smelling like a mixture of sweat, fear, and copious amounts of generic perfume. She sat in a leather office chair, trying not to spin it so far as to knock into the other chairs, not paying attention to anything; though she had been in that same chair, in this same place many other times, this time was far different than before. The others were going to arrive soon, and she was so afraid that her brain felt as if it were shutting down! Would they like her? What would she say? And who were these people, anyway?
Before I get any more into this, I guess I should really explain what all is going on. That place was the office of one Dr. Sam Creeke, therapist, brilliant man, and leader of the therapy group that girl had joined only that day. And that girl? Well...she was me. I know, I know, cliche, but I had the description in my head and didn't want to waste a good opening on nothing!
Anyway, back to the story. I had recently moved to town with my mom, stepdad, and stepbrother, as well as our five pets, the reason being my parents found a much better job in Fair City than the ones they had previously held in our home state of Indiana. As much as I feared change, it was a little exciting to be able to make a new start somewhere else. With some luck, I'd be able to find a job, someplace to hang out...maybe even somebody to hang out with. As unlikely as that was, it was nice to dream, right? Within a week or so, we'd settled fairly well into the city, and it wasn't long until my mom and I started shopping around for a new therapist for me to start seeing. Enter: Dr. Sam Creeke.
Dr. Creeke was a kind man in this early 50's, with silver hair done in a combover and laugh lines etched deep in his face. I'm not too proud to admit, I didn't really want to see him at first. But his easy-going manner and sense of humor quickly won me over, and within a half-hour I was singing like a canary in a coal mine. After a few sessions, he came to me with a question; had I ever been in group therapy before? I told him yes, why? He said that there was an opening a group he'd been seeing for awhile, and he thought I might fit in there. Maybe I could join them? He was sure they'd love me.
He had me at "fit in". I...well, I'm not someone who usually fits in anywhere; I'm a contortionist, filling in the gaps, being what I think people want me to be. The idea that there was somewhere with people who were like me was enticing, to say the least. After a few seconds of pretending to think about it (I mean, I didn't want to seem too eager), I agreed. Meetings were on Wednesday, and I could start going next week. Little did I know that these "meetings" were going to change my life for good.
Soon enough, the day came and there I sat, drenched in sweat and trying to psyche myself into being less nervous. It wasn't working very well, but what did you expect? If I was any good at psyching myself into doing anything, I wouldn't be in therapy. At 3PM on the dot, a line of people filed into the office, talking amongst themselves amiably. They all looked so comfortable with each other...it was hard to imagine myself ever doing that, especially with these guys.
When I first saw the people Dr. Creeke said I'd "fit in" with, I was shocked, then scared...and then a little insulted. One guy had a sandwich for a head, like a literal sandwich! The next person was an insanely tall man dressed like an old-timey butcher, with 5 o'clock shadow and a Brooklyn accent. Then was a lady dressed like she had just come back from a science fiction convention, her blonde ponytail sitting on top of her head like a crown. And then...well, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The last person in front of Dr. Creeke was some albino guy with a tiny brain stuck to his head.
Everyone found a chair and sat down, with the albino on my left and Sandwich Guy on my right, and of course, Dr. Creeke across from me, smiling encouragingly with his hand clasped together. When he pulled them apart and clapped to quiet the chatter, I jumped a little bit, a small scream sticking in my throat. Everyone turned to look at me, and that's when he began.
"As you all may have noticed, we have a new member in our group today. I'd like you to welcome Kaylee."
I was met with a chorus of "hi Kaylee's", and "hey's", and a "how ya doin'?" thrown in for good measure. Once that stopped, he continued, "Since she's new here, I thought maybe we could all introduce ourselves in lieu of a check-in today." There was a murmur of agreement. "Alright then. Dr. Two-Brains, would you care to go first? We can go counter-clockwise, and that way our new member can go last after she's properly acquainted with you all."
"Oh, uh...okay." Albino guy scratched the back of his head. Two-Brains? That was his name? "I'm Dr. Two-Brains, and I'm here by court order as part of their "villain rehabilitation program". My hobbies are cheese, science, villainy, and any activity that combines all three."
After him was the dude dressed like a butcher. "Hi. My name is the Butcher. But people call me "The Butcher." Obvious naming seemed to be a recurring theme here. "I'm also here by court order, for that bad guy rehabulation thingy. They said I needed to work on my "anger issues". He spoke using air quotes. "I don't have anger issues, okay?!"
I flinched a little bit after that. Next up was the sci-fi woman. She cleared her throat before speaking in a bubbly voice that seemed ill-suited for what I could only assume was another villain. "I, am Lady Redundant Woman! I've been seeing a therapist, shrink, and psychologist for oh, three years now? I was going through something a few years ago, a bad time, a real rough patch. And you know, it really helped me out!" Apparently not enough to stop her from becoming a supervillain, though.
Finally, Sandwich Guy was up. He said, very quickly and quietly, "I'm Chuck, a-and I'm only here because my mom says I have to!"
It was my turn now. All eyes were on me as I sat there, stock-still, still clinging to some primordial belief that if I didn't move a muscle, they wouldn't be able to see me. But alas, that didn't work. These were people, not a herd of tyrannosaurus, and they could see me whether I moved or not.
"Uh..." My voice creaked, and faltered. I had no idea what to do! What should I say? And so, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I-I'm Dorothy, the small and meek!"
"...I thought your name was Kaylee?"
I let out a soft squeak. "It...is. I-It was a joke, you know, Wizard of Oz? But, um...I'm Kaylee, and I...I'm here for a lot of reasons, really," I laughed out that last part, but it probably sounded more like a croak. "My life's been kinda, messed up I guess? I mean, it's a long story, see, I'm on the autism spectrum, and I've got ADHD, anxiety, depression, type 1 diabetes. A lot of it is probably from my childhood, 'cause my biological dad and mom split up when I was a baby, and my mom married this guy when I was two, who was a real jerk, a-and he was hard to live with, then when I was eight my bio dad died, never really got over that. Then when I was twelve, my mom divorced my stepdad, and when I was fourteen she remarried my other stepdad, who was nice, but then I got picked on a lot in school, and then when I was 18 my grandfather died and that was really bad, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Then when I was 20 my mom divorced my other stepdad, so I moved in with her and her boyfriend and his son, and then we moved...here."
I had been rambling again, the way I always did when I was terrified. I was sweating, shaking like a leaf, and tapping my fingers against the hard part of the chair-my go-to anxiety stim. Even after a long, uncomfortable silence, all eyes remained on me. At least, they did until the Two-Brain guy reached over me to hand Chuck a five-dollar bill.
"I was wrong, Chuck. There really is someone on this planet more messed up than you."
If I could have, I probably would have fainted. But instead, I sat, motionless once again, praying it would all be over soon.
