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Sweet Seals For You, Always
Product Placement
PR's Tumblrdome
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Keni
Kaledo Art
NASA
pixel skylines
roma★
trying on a metaphor
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER
Game of Thrones Daily
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dirt enthusiast
titsay
if i look back, i am lost
ellievsbear
izzy's playlists!
seen from Philippines
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@batstatic
cinematic parallels: tumblr somehow becoming one of the most bearable social media platforms in 2020/2021, and that speed skater who made it to the olympics because everyone else fell over
tumblr, doing the bare minimum of keeping posts chronological and not forcing targeted ads down our throats 24/7:
“I’m sorry about the blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine”
is the rawest fucking line I’ve ever read and it feels like a punch in the gut every time I read it
This great, but have you ever memorized two poems about animals with birth defects who're gonna die?
Can lesbians use the slur Fruit?
sorry i must’ve missed the meeting where we made me Head of Slurs
It’s time to roll the dice… with Ellen!
Man, fucking Ellen. Every so often she rings me up or shoots me a text asking if I wanna play dice with her and every so often I start to try to say no, but she fucking picks up on that so fast and her fun quirky demeanor drops. No longer laughing and being bubbly, she starts to remind me of the file she has in her possession that would simply ruin me if it fell into the wrong hands. And so with tears in my eyes is reluctantly agree to play dice with Ellen. It’s always in a back alley behind some strip mall. Gross and rank. Ellen hunched over a damp piece of cardboard she uses to roll her dice on. I always ask Ellen, I say Ellen you’re so rich and famous, can’t we please play dice in like a highrise penthouse or something? Thinking of the nice all you can eat buffet that would surely be there. All highrise penthouses have all you eat buffets. I’m pretty sure it’s like some sort of requirement. If I’m going play fucking dice with Ellen, let me at least get my fill on some slightly warmer than room temp fries. But she always just grunts a no, and then rolls her dice, not looking at me at all. And holy shit, I’m not a man who believes in luck but… Ellen is turning me into a believer because she has to be the unluckiest person in the world. Every role she does, pure shit. I don’t even really know how to play dice but fuck, I play like some kinda world champ when I play with her. And fuck, her goddamn temper. It doesn’t take much to set her off. Screaming and shouting and huffing and puffing. This fucking back alley we play in has a number of cracks in the walls from her just pounding her fists into them after each of my rolls. Fucking cracks. Brick walls. Fucking cracks. At the end of the game when I inevitably beat her, she pulls out a knife and just slices or stabs me before running off into the shadows to go fucking goofy white lady dance as she interviews Channing Tatum or something, fuck!
And holy shit, speak of the devil, would you look at this…
So I guess I’m playing dice tonight, and then paying the hospital a visit to attend to my future stab wounds. But I guess it bets the alternative of having people find out I sit on the toilet backwards, god how embarrassing.
favorite visual gag in cartoons is when someone gets dismembered and a femur bone is sticking out no matter what the body part
listen this isn’t rat related but I’m going off the walls right now this is literally so fucking funny
orange bear puppet: i think tutter’s looking a little tired, don’t you?
tutter (mouse puppet): [panting and screaming]
My Facebook meme groups DELIVERED
I sent this to a boy and he said it was too long and wouldnt read it
reblog this if you support gay marriage
Creative & DIY
SO THAT’S HOW THEY FUCKING DO IT
pplease come back i miss you so god damn much sans
I havent fucked in a long time I don’t live in the undertale world anymore i live in south central pennsylvania and I work at a Turkey Hill
a new law is about to be passed in Saudi Arabia that will allow the government to execute people for coming out or being openly gay online.
ignoring the fact that this is literally something out of some kind of dystopian novel, in the interests of safety i’ve emptied out my face tag and may temporarily deactivate or password protect this blog.
please reblog this and get the word out, and if you pray, please pray for me and my fellow Saudi LGBTQ+/MOGAI family.
ALSO, for those who need it [x]. its a post on erasing all traces of yourself from the interwebs.
this is not something to read and keep to yourself. please spread this around. may Allah keep everyone safe.
Eve only took a bite out of that apple because it was funny
[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.
you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette ok ok
i don’t know what you’re talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100% original novel “the fart in our stalls”
